Chapter Eighteen
I woke in the morning trapped underneath him. I was on my back, and he was lying on me, his head on my chest, his arms either side of my body and his bottom half between my legs. He was heavy, but, in a weird way, it was actually a pleasant weight. A quick glance at the clock told me it was only six thirty; I could let him sleep for another thirty minutes. I wrapped my arms around him and ran my fingers through his messy, black hair.
Shame washed over me because I’d doubted him at the gym by thinking that he’d hit me. I should have known better and had more faith in him. My eyes raked over his handsome face and I felt the frown slip onto my face. I was so attached to him already; I really shouldn’t have let this guy past my defences. It scared the life out of me that I needed him. I deliberately pushed everyone away so that I would never have to feel loss again, but I’d felt it last night. I had known him just a week, yet I’d felt it when he’d walked off, and this dependency would only get worse.
After half an hour, the alarm buzzed so I quickly silenced it, but it was too late, he’d woken. His eyes fluttered open as he lifted his head, looking down at me.
“Hi,” I greeted sheepishly.
He smiled sadly “Hi, you okay?” he asked.
I winced, knowing that I’d probably never be able to take it back or make it better. He’d always know that I didn’t have faith in him when it mattered. “I’m really sorry, honestly, I’m so sorry, Ashton.”
He sighed and shifted on top of me, pulling himself higher so he was hovering above me. “I would never hurt you.” Sincerity dripped from every syllable as he looked directly into my eyes.
My heart throbbed painfully at the intensity of his look and the way he said the words. “I know. I don’t know what I was thinking. You were just so angry and then you grabbed me, and I just… I don’t know,” I swallowed, trying to keep the tears at bay again.
“Anna, no matter how angry I was, I would never do that. I promise you.” I nodded, unable to speak. “You thought I was gonna leave?” he asked, stroking my hair away from my face.
“I thought you’d already left,” I admitted.
He shook his head, frowning. “I won’t leave you. Even if we had a huge fight, I still wouldn’t leave you,” he promised.
With his eyes blazing with truth, I believed him. The only way he would leave before his assignment was over was if I had him transferred, because he wouldn’t quit. I looped my arms around his neck, smiling happily now.
“Thank you,” I whispered, gratefully.
“You don’t have to thank me, Baby Girl.” He bent his head and planted a soft kiss on my lips, pulling back after a fraction of a second. I didn’t even have time to react before he pushed himself up off me, straddling my hips as he grinned down at me. “I guess I’m squashing you, huh?”
“I liked it,” I muttered, chuckling as heat flooded my face at my admission.
He grinned too and dropped down onto the mattress next to me instead. “Guess I didn’t even get to try out the new sofa bed.” He nodded towards the new addition to my room. Apparently it had been delivered while we were at school.
I smiled and shrugged. “It looks like it would be comfy too,” I teased. “Probably more comfortable than sleeping on top of me.” I frowned at the sofa bed, resenting it a little because I would actually rather him sleep in my bed with me, especially after last night – so long as I could manage to keep a hold on my slutty side that only ever seemed to come out when I was around him.
He laughed. “Doubt it.” His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me tightly against him as he looked at me intently. “Anna, will you tell me why you train like that? I can understand you pushing it with the self-defence stuff, but the running I just don’t understand.”
I sighed, I’d never talked to anyone about this before, but I felt like I owed him an explanation for it. “It takes my mind off everything. It gives me something else to think about. The more it hurts, the easier it is to forget everything else and just focus on the pain. It’s just something I’ve done since… well, since Carter.” My voice cracked when I said his name.
He nodded sadly. “I can’t stand to see it though. I know you like to run, but do you have to run for thirty minutes flat out like that? I mean, you ran so damn fast that I don’t think I would have been able to keep up with you. And that last minute,” he blew out a big breath, “damn, you looked like you were ready to die, and yet you went faster? It was awful to watch,” he winced, swallowing hard.
I frowned. When you looked at it from his point of view, it did sound kind of over the top. “Okay. I’ll try and tone it down. Can we just leave it?” Not liking the turn in conversation, and wanting to think of more pleasant things, I leant in closer and pressed my face into the side of his neck. I sighed in contentment as I inhaled his delicious smell. There was nothing else like it in the world.
“Do I smell bad or something?”
I jumped back, realising what I was doing. “Sorry.” I chuckled nervously, looking anywhere but him.
He laughed. “Are you telling me I should go for a shower?”
“No!” I protested. “You smell good. It’s soothing. You smell like-” I stopped quickly when it dawned on me what I was about to say. I gulped, sitting up. “Never mind. Do you want breakfast?”
As I scooted towards the edge of the bed, his hand closed over my arm, thwarting my escape. “Hey, not so fast! I smell like what?” he asked.
I winced. “I don’t want to say,” I whined.
One of his eyebrows rose playfully as he tugged on my arm so I fell back onto the bed. He grinned as he quickly manoeuvred himself so he was pinning my arms above my head and my body was trapped underneath his. “If you don’t tell me, we don’t go to school today.” I chuckled and shook my head. I didn’t want to go to school anyway, I would rather he pinned me to the bed all day. “Please tell me,” he breathed, pulling out the puppy dog face.
I groaned, done for. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, fine! You smell like safety, like home,” I admitted, turning my head to the side so that I wouldn’t see his face as I said it.
His grip loosened on my arms as he pushed himself off me, sitting up. From the corner of my eye, I could see him looking at me. “You want to know what you smell like to me?” he asked quietly. I nodded without looking at him. “Your smell scares the life out of me. You smell like commitment and marriage,” he said simply.
The air rushed out of my lungs as I sat up and looked anywhere but him. I knew he was joking, but his casual joke about marriage made my stomach twist into a knot. “That’s not funny. I told you mine seriously,” I muttered, shaking my head and climbing out of bed. He didn’t answer as I headed out of the room, already deciding that I’d make bacon for breakfast. I needed the energy today and cooking it would be a welcome distraction from the thoughts that were trying to force their way into my head.
In typical guy fashion, he was showered, dressed and looking like a Greek God by the time the food was ready. As he walked out of the bedroom, I set bacon and eggs in front of him. “Wow, that’s great service,” he joked, sitting himself at the kitchen island. “By the way, are you busy Friday night?” he smiled a little nervously.
Busy? If I was busy then he’d already know about it. “No, why?”
He cleared his throat, rubbing at the back of his neck absentmindedly. “How about we make Friday nights our date nights?”
My ears picked up the plural of that sentence. Did he mean every Friday was date night?
He grinned. “I was thinking dinner and a movie. That’s a good first date, right?”
I smiled at how unsure he looked. “What would you normally do with a girl if you took her out?” I asked, curious as to why he seemed to be asking for my input.
He grimaced a little. “Er, a bar then her place, probably.”
“Wow, and you don’t think you’re a player?” I teased. “Why her place? So you can leave when you want and don’t have to stay the night?” I continued, giggling at how uncomfortable he looked. I had completely hit the nail on the head; clearly that was the exact reason. “So, what would you do for a second date then? Because, technically, the lake was our first date, you said so yourself,” I said matter-of-factly, enjoying him squirming.
He cleared his throat. “Well, on a second date, we’d probably skip the bar and just go to her place.”
“And the third?” I inquired, grinning.
“I’ve never been on a third date,” he shrugged, shovelling his food into his mouth.
My mouth popped open at this admission. “Seriously? When you said you’d never had a girlfriend, I thought you meant like a serious one, not like you’d never been on more than two dates.”
“I’ve never met a girl I wanted to date. I told you that,” he replied, finishing his food in record time and heading over to the sink.
I rolled my eyes. “Right, I know, you’re not a player, just misunderstood,” I mocked, grinning as I finished up my food too. I held out my empty plate for him to take. He seemed remarkably domesticated, aside from cooking; he was very adept at tidying up after us both.
“Hey, you want to go shooting tonight? While I was on the net last night, I found one that’s not too far away. We could go join,” he called as I walked to the bedroom.
I gulped. I wasn’t actually sure if I could see a gun again after my dream last night, but I didn’t want to have to explain that to him. “Um, sure.”
School was good, just like the day before. As promised, Ashton’s presence kept all of the guys away from me so I didn’t need to worry about anything. Again, we had lunch with what was fast becoming our group of friends. Before the end of lunch, I exchanged numbers with Rosie. I could see the disapproval on Ashton’s face – probably because of the ‘safety factor’ as he so often called it, but to me it was no big deal. Rosie was actually a genuinely nice girl, I liked her.
Throughout the day, Ashton kissed me a few times again. Each kiss seemed to spark something deep inside me. It was like some sort of age-old primal instinct that I had no control over. I both liked and hated it at the same time.
Too soon though, we pulled up at the shooting range that Ashton had found. Nerves were churning in my stomach, and I wrung my shaking hands, chewing furiously on my lip as he cut the engine in the parking lot. I wasn’t sure I could get out of the car. My whole body was stiff, frozen in place as Ashton climbed out and walked around the car to my side.
This was all because of the dream last night. The dream was the whole reason that I was terrified of guns. During my time with him, I’d seen Carter shoot people, but that was the only time I’d ever had a gun put into my hand. The experience had scarred me deeply.
“You okay?” Ashton asked, as he opened my door and bent down to see why I hadn’t moved to get out. I shook my head in answer. He reached in, unbuckling my seatbelt before taking both of my hands and squeezing them gently. “I promise it’s fine,” he cooed.
I flicked my eyes up to his face, seeing the concern in his eyes. “I don’t think I can,” I whispered, shaking my head.
Without answering he leant forward and planted a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth, squeezing my hands again. All of my worries seemed to melt away as his warmth and safety washed over me, giving me the confidence to move my heavy legs and let him help me out of the car.
“You can,” he replied, nodding sternly. “But if you don’t want to, then we’ll just go home. It’s your choice.”
I closed my eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths before clasping his hand in a vice-like grip as I nodded in agreement. With him at my side, I could do it, and if I couldn’t, then I’d just ask him if we could leave. “I want to. Just don’t let go.”
“I won’t,” he promised. I gulped, swallowing the squirming terror that was building in my chest as he led me inside.
I pressed into his back as he filled out a couple of forms, signing us in and setting us up a membership so we could go whenever we wanted to. When he was finally done with the paperwork, the guy led us to one of the lanes in the middle. Thankfully, we were the only ones in there, so it was quiet apart from the radio humming old eighties tunes in the background.
I whimpered and turned to Ashton, watching as he sent off one of the little target sheets the same distance away as I had it last time. When he was satisfied with the sheet, he turned and put my goggles on for me before he covered my ears with the headphones. He smiled and reached behind him, unclenching my hand that I had fisted onto the back of his shirt, holding him tightly.
“You sure you want to do this?” he checked, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb as he straightened my aching fingers for me. I hadn’t even known I was holding him that tightly until then. I nodded weakly, eyeing the door warily as I decided if I should run or not. Before I could make up my mind, he moved behind me, pressing his chest against my back as his arms wrapped around me tightly. “Breathe, Anna,” he instructed. I gulped and sucked in a ragged breath as he picked up the little, black handgun from the box he’d been given. Immediately, I shrank back away from it, trying to melt into his chest. He rested his chin on my shoulder as he held the gun out in front of me. “Take it when you’re ready.”
My hands were sweating, so I had to wipe them a couple of times on my jeans before I reached up and let him put the heavy gun into my hand. “Oh God,” I whimpered.
His hands closed over mine, holding them tightly. “Remember the safety button, and whenever you’re ready, go.”
I took a couple of deep breaths to try and steady my nerves. When I realised that it wasn’t going to get any better, I flicked the safety off, aiming for the target and shot all six bullets in steady succession. It actually wasn’t as bad as I had expected it to be. The whole dream thing must have distorted it in my head. Deep down though, I knew that having Ashton there was the key, he was the only thing keeping me together.
Wordlessly, he took the gun and changed the cartridge for me. The whole time, his arms were around me securely. After shooting another six rounds, I finally put the gun onto the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. Ashton turned me around and hugged me tightly, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m so proud of you. I didn’t think you’d be able to do it when we were at the car,” he congratulated.
I smiled back. “Neither did I.”
“Let’s see your skills.” He pressed the button, calling in my sheet. I smiled, not actually that bothered where my shots had gone, I was just happy to have overcome my fear and not crumbled under the pressure of it. As it turns out though, I’d done pretty well considering my hands were shaking. Almost half of my shots were within the outline of the body.
“Are you gonna have a go?” I asked, eyeing the gun cautiously. It was weird but I wanted to see him in action. The couple of times that I’d seen him with a gun he’d looked menacing, yet sexy in a weird way.
He shook his head. “Nah, it’s okay,” he replied, shrugging.
I wasn’t expecting the disappointment that settled over me. “Oh come on, I haven’t seen you shoot yet.”
His head cocked to the side, regarding me curiously before he finally nodded. “You,” he pointed to me, “there,” he continued, pointing to the side of the booth where we were standing.
I grinned at his order and did a mock salute. “Yes, sir.”
He laughed and walked over to me, taking my ear defenders and putting them back on for me before trailing his fingers across my cheek softly. “Don’t move.”
I gulped and nodded in agreement as he walked back to the counter, sending off a fresh target off into the distance. He didn’t stop it at the point I had mine at; instead, he sent it all the way back to the other wall, a solid sixty feet away.
The way he stood was sexy as hell: one leg back, knees a little bent, slightly turned to the side and arms out front. I could just imagine him standing like that in his uniform that I’d seen in that photo. Talk about mouth-watering, I mused.
I saw him glance at me from the corner of his eye before he picked up the gun, aimed and squeezed off six shots, changed the cartridge and then shot the other six, all in the space of about fifteen seconds.
My mouth popped open in shock because it had all happened so fast. He turned back to me and laughed. I was vaguely aware that my eyes were wide and that my mouth was hanging open in awe of what I’d just seen. I’d actually never seen anything so sexy in my life.
He put the gun down and motioned me over to him. “Go on then, pull it in.” He nodded at the recall button.
I pressed it and we waited while the paper made its way all the way back to us. When it stopped, I was a little lost for words. Every single shot that he’d made was on point. In fact, he had made two little groups of shots, one on the centre of the chest and the other in the centre of the head. He had grouped the shots so closely that it actually looked like two large holes instead of twelve little ones.
“Holy shit, that was incredible,” I gushed, still looking down at the paper in awe.
He shrugged as if it were nothing. “You forgot I was a badass?”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “How did you even do that so fast?”
“Practice, lots of practice,” he winced as he spoke, probably at the memory of being made to shoot continuously or something, like when he’d told me about having to swim all night as punishment for pulling a prank.
The training academy that he went to sounded like torture; I had no idea why he’d liked it there so much. “And you can honestly say that you enjoyed your training?” I asked incredulously.
He nodded, putting all of the guns and equipment back into the box. “Yep, best time of my life,” he confirmed. “Well, up until that point anyway.”
I raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Up until that point?”
“Yeah. You’re the best time of my life now,” he replied, closing his hand over mine and walking off to the reception without waiting for me to answer.
A blush crept over my face as I bit my lip, fighting a smile. My heart was crashing against my ribs because of how sweet that comment was. I knew he was only joking around, as usual, but for some reason his comment made my skin prickle with excitement.
The days passed quickly. Ashton and I were growing closer and closer the more time we spent together. I was just so comfortable with him now that I didn’t even pay attention to how close he was to me. The pretending to be a couple charade seemed to be getting easier and easier, and I actually couldn’t seem to get through the day without a few of his hugs. His arms were comforting to me in a way that I never expected.
Since that night when I thought he’d left, Ashton and I had shared a bed a couple of times. Of course, we had the swanky new sofa bed in my room, but that night after going shooting, I hadn’t wanted to be alone so I’d snuck over into the sofa bed with him, just needing to be comforted. The next night I just asked him to sleep in with me because I was actually becoming addicted to that safe, contented feeling that I got whenever his arms were around me. I slept so much better when he was snoring in my ear. Luckily, I’d managed to contain my slutty side that liked being in his arms way too much.
Before I knew it, Friday arrived, which also meant our ‘date’.
Unfortunately, I was still tired because the night before it had taken me hours to fall asleep because I’d never been on a proper date before. Jack and I had been out to places, but because we were just kids, we only went to fast food restaurants or the movies or something.
I stood in front of the mirror, staring at the skin just under my eye, squinting, trying to see if I needed to add a little make-up to hide my sleepless night. A knock at the bedroom door made me jump. “Anna, I’m just gonna go next door and speak to Dean about tonight. I’ll be back just after seven, alright?” He actually sounded a little nervous, probably because he was leaving me in the apartment on my own. He took his job extremely seriously.
“Yeah, sure,” I called, grinning at his overprotectiveness. Turning back to the mirror, I decided that I could forgo the extra make-up. I’d already applied a little and done my hair into a cute little up-do. As I skipped over to my wedge heeled, cherry red sandals, I smiled, excited to go to this restaurant that Ashton had adamantly refused to tell me about. Much to my disgust, it turned out that the boy liked surprises.
Just before seven, I adjusted the red belt that accompanied my little, black dress and headed out to see if he was ready, but the apartment was still empty. Sighing, I sat down at the kitchen counter, waiting for him to come back. Less than a minute later, there was a knock at the front door. I glanced at it hesitantly. Ashton had strictly forbidden me to answer the door, ever. When the knock sounded again, I decided that I could take the risk. It was probably him, but if it wasn’t, then no doubt I’d get scolded for it and a stern warning about my ‘safety being of utmost importance to him’.
I pulled the door open quickly, and my heart jumped up into my throat. Ashton stood there looking incredibly handsome. The clothes that he’d chosen for our date fitted him perfectly, clinging to him in a way that would have any designer begging for him to model their clothes. His jeans were faded and just the right amount of scruffy, a white T-shirt clung to his body, and he accentuated it with a chequered blue and white shirt over the top, which he wore unbuttoned. My mouth started to the water at the sight of him. I was very aware that I was practically ravaging him with my eyes, so I reluctantly dragged my gaze up to his face.
As excited as I was about the date, I actually didn’t want to go anymore. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to drag him inside and take his clothes off him because I knew they would look even better in a heap on my bedroom floor.
When I looked back at his face, I realised that he was still staring at me; doing exactly the same thing I had been doing moments before. I hid my grin and cleared my throat dramatically. “My eyes are up here, Ashton,” I stated, trying to sound annoyed, even though I was actually flattered he was paying so much attention to my body.
He jumped, as his eyes flicked up to meet mine. “Right, yeah, sorry. I… er… I was just, er…” he gulped, shaking his head, clearly flustered at being caught.
“Checking me out?” I offered, shrugging.
He grinned sheepishly. “Right. I was just checking you out,” he confirmed guiltily. I chewed on my bottom lip, tasting the sugary sweetness of my strawberry lip gloss that I’d applied. “You look stunning, Anna. You take my breath away,” he breathed, letting his eyes wander my body again.
I internally swooned at his sweetness. Does he just pull those comments straight out of a how to make a girl fall for you book or something? “You look extremely hot too,” I replied. He didn’t take my breath away exactly; it was more like he made it speed up with excitement. I grabbed his hand and gave him a little tug into the apartment. “Come on in, my boyfriend’s just popped out so he won’t even know,” I joked, breaking the tension.
He laughed and brought his hand out from behind his back, producing a beautiful bouquet of white roses. I gasped, shocked. “Second favourite after dandelions, right?” he teased, grinning. I smiled weakly. I remembered telling him that in our little ‘getting to know you’ session on the dock when he’d first started. “I didn’t want to give you dandelions because I thought that was Jack’s thing, so I went for these instead,” he added, looking a little uncomfortable as if he thought he was going to upset me or something.
Overwhelmed by emotions, but for once, not in a bad way, I did the only thing I could think of in that moment. I stepped forward and kissed him, slipping one arm around his neck as I pressed my body against his. Silently, I wondered how on earth one person could be so sweet. He was killing me with kindness. I was so confused that, at this point, I almost didn’t even know which way was up.
After a small intimate kiss, I pulled away and smiled gratefully. “Thank you, they’re beautiful.” I headed over to the sink and picked up a jug to put them in.
“I got Peter to buy us a vase for you to use. I put it under the sink yesterday,” he said easily. I smiled over my shoulder because of how thoughtful that was. This was already the most perfect date I’d ever been on, yet we hadn’t even left the apartment. Leaning down, I found the glass vase and filled it with water before putting the flowers in so they wouldn’t die. I’d arrange them properly later. “I got you something else too, but this wasn’t specifically for our date, I just waited to give it to you until today,” Ashton said behind me, sounding a little uncomfortable.
I turned to see him holding out a small, rectangular red velvet box. I gulped; already knowing that the box contained jewellery because of the name on the top of the box was the one from the jewellers in the shopping mall near the lake house. I hadn’t seen him buy anything, but then again, he had left me with Dean for a few minutes while I was trying on clothes, so maybe he’d snuck off to buy it then.
“You shouldn’t have bought me anything.”
“Open it,” he instructed, holding his hand out to me again.
I stepped forward and took the box from his hand, prying open the lid, holding my breath the whole time. Inside was a breathtaking, thin and delicate gold chain. Attached to it was a little, round pendant set with a green stone. It was so beautiful that my vision blurred as my eyes filled up.
“You said green was your favourite colour.” He took the box from my hand, fiddling with it and removing the chain. “Did you know that the colour green is supposed to make you feel calm and safe? I thought it was appropriate for me to give you an emerald considering it’s my job to keep you safe.” He stepped behind me, setting the chain around my neck before fiddling with the clasp.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. He’d brought me an emerald necklace? He seemed too good to be true, this boy. Once he’d secured it, I turned and shook my head in awe, reaching up to grasp the little pendant in my fist carefully. I couldn’t help but notice how he seemed a little unsure of himself, his smile a little weak.
“It’s so perfect. Thank you,” I whispered, knowing that my voice would crack if I tried to speak properly.
His shoulders relaxed and his smile turned more genuine, and in that second it dawned on me that he was worried I wouldn’t actually like it.
“You’re very welcome, Baby Girl.” He held out a hand for me to take. “We’d better go so we don’t lose our table.”
I sighed happily and placed my free hand in his, letting him lead me out of the apartment and to the car. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as he drove to the surprise restaurant; not once did I let go of the little pendant. I was already in love with this necklace and didn’t ever want to take it off.
When we pulled up outside where we were eating, I burst out laughing and turned to him to see if this was a joke. “Seriously? You’re taking me to eat at… Harvest Grill?” I asked, grinning from ear to ear as I read the sign above the awful-looking restaurant. It actually looked more like a truck stop café than a restaurant you would go to on a date.
He held up one finger to silence me. “Ah, just wait and see! You think I’m crazy now, but keep an open mind, okay?”
I shrugged, already feeling overdressed as a guy wearing a pair of jazzy, green board shorts and a string vest walked out. I sat in the car, waiting for him to come around and open the door for me. That was another one of his ‘rules’ that was apparently for my safety. I didn’t see the point in it all, but he seemed more relaxed if I just went along with what he wanted.
As we walked into the place, I grinned, biting my lip so I didn’t laugh. The place was practically empty aside from two other people. Casting my eyes around, I noticed that the tables were covered in some sort of plastic cloth, the chairs were old and had a worn covering on the base of them, and as Ashton pulled me forward, my foot stuck to the floor in a couple of places. I was definitely overdressed.
In the corner of the restaurant, there was a reserved tag on the table. “Lucky we got here on time, wouldn’t want them to be overrun and have to give our table away,” I joked.
Ashton laughed, waving for the waiter’s attention. “Open mind, remember?” he muttered as the guy walked over to us.
By the time I was done eating, my cheeks hurt from all the smiling. As it turns out, despite the lack of ambiance in the place, I was actually having a fantastic time. The food was merely average, my chicken was a little rubbery and the fries were a little cardboard-like, but the company was faultless. Ashton and I chatted easily the whole time, laughing, joking and even flirting a fair bit too. It was the best date I’d been on by a clear mile.
When the waiter came and cleared our table, he and Ashton exchanged a secret look before he turned to me and grinned. “Now for the real reason we came here.” He nodded over my shoulder and I twisted in my seat, seeing the waiter coming back. On the table in front of me he set down a ginormous slice of chocolate fudge cake and a little pot of hot fudge sauce. My eyes widened in surprise as my mouth immediately watered. Ashton had remembered my favourite dessert and pre-ordered it for me?
Ashton leant back in his seat with a smug smile. “I asked around, apparently this is the best chocolate fudge cake in the whole of Arizona.”
I shook my head, bemused. He was so incredibly thoughtful. I hadn’t expected anything like this in the slightest. “Seriously, I just… you’ve put so much thought into this, huh?”
He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Well yeah, I guess. I just wanted to make it special,” he explained. “Well try it then,” he laughed, pointing to my cake.
“Aren’t you having anything?”
“Nah, I need to watch my figure,” he joked, winking at me playfully. More excited than I should be over a piece of cake, I grabbed my spoon and cut off a huge mouthful. “Wait, wait!” he cried, as my spoon was half way to my mouth. “You have to try it properly,” he smiled and picked up the little pot of sauce, and poured it over my dessert before waving his hand, giving me the go-ahead.
After scooping a little of the sauce onto my spoon too, I greedily shoved it in my mouth. The sickly sweetness and richness of it made me moan in appreciation. It was easily the best thing I’d ever tasted. “Oh my God, you have got to try this!” I mumbled with my mouth full.
He chuckled wickedly. “Very lady like,” he teased, grabbing a fork and cutting off a piece, shovelling it into his mouth. “Holy shit, that is good!” he agreed with his mouth full too. I burst out laughing, covering my mouth with my hand as I laughed so hard I thought I was going to choke.
When we finished eating, I thought we were going home, but instead of walking left to the car, he turned right and led me down a darkened side street. “What’s down here?” I asked, confused.
“Just wait and see,” he answered as we carried on walking. At the end of the little street, we rounded a corner and the place opened up into a sort of square. There was a small marquee covering a makeshift dance floor, with little fairy lights covering the ceiling as couples slow danced underneath. A live orchestra played classical songs nearby.
My eyes widened, stunned by the intimate little setting. “Did you know this was here?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I found it on the ‘what to do in your town’ tourist website,” he answered, smiling at my astonished face.
He took my hand, laughing, and gave me a little tug towards the dance floor. His arms wrapped around me, and I smiled as we swayed slowly to the beautiful, yet haunting music that surrounded us. It was perfect. As I looked up and his eyes met mine, my stomach fluttered erratically, and my heart started to race.
We danced for about an hour before I started to feel slightly chilly. He frowned, chafing his hands up my arms as I shivered. “Want to go?” he asked.
I shook my head quickly. I didn’t ever want to leave, actually. “Not yet. Can we just stay a little longer?” I pouted, not wanting this night to end.
He smiled sadly before pulling out of my arms. I sighed, knowing the experience was over. But instead of leaving, he stripped out of his shirt and wrapped it around my shoulders instead, helping me put my arms into the holes before fastening a couple of the buttons for me.
My heart melted at the thoughtful gesture. “You’re just too sweet, Ashton. Seriously, you’re going to make some girl really happy.” I stepped back into his body, resting my head on his chest.
“Yeah? Some girl like you?”
I sighed wistfully. “Yeah, maybe not as screwed up as me though. You need someone who’ll treat you right, and not give you shit,” I answered. I closed my eyes, enjoying being close to him.
“Maybe I like being given shit,” he joked, tracing his hands up my back.
“What are you, a masochist?”
“All things worth having are worth fighting for,” he replied firmly. I didn’t know what to say in response to that. I agreed with his statement wholeheartedly, but some things were just not worth having, and I was certainly one of those things.
We danced for another few songs before the cold seemed to seep into my very bones and I could no longer repress the shivers, even with his shirt and arms wrapped around my body. “Wow, I’m really cold now,” I admitted. “Maybe we could come back another time, and I’ll bring a jacket,” I suggested, smiling at him hopefully. I loved it here; I would definitely like to come back again with him.
He pulled back and smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry; I should have thought to bring you a jacket.”
I rolled my eyes. “Hey, don’t do that! You’ve been so thoughtful, and I’ve had a great night,” I insisted, hugging him tightly.
“Me too.” He kissed my temple as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, guiding me back down the windy street to where we’d parked the car. During the drive home, I watched him from the corner of my eye, just wondering what it would be like if things were different and if this were real, instead of being a ruse to fool people into believing we were dating instead of him guarding me.
When we pulled up at home, Dean’s car rolled into the space next to ours. My mouth fell open in shock. “Was Dean following us?”
Ashton grinned and nodded. “Yeah, of course,” he confirmed, opening my door for me.
“Why?” I asked, slightly annoyed that he had watched our private date.
“That’s his job, Baby Girl,” he replied casually.
I sighed and shook my head; they really were taking this too far. As Dean caught us up and stepped into the elevator, I forced a smile. “You did a great job tonight. I didn’t even see you once,” I congratulated, trying to keep the irritation out of my tone.
He nodded and smiled as the doors slid open on our floor. “Thanks, Annabelle, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ashton stepped out first, looking around. “Tell Peter that we’re back and his shift starts now, so he’s to get his ass downstairs in the lobby quick smart.” His face showed he was joking, but the tone of his voice showed that he meant every word. Dean nodded and watched us walk into the apartment.
Once we were safely inside, I turned and smiled tentatively at Ashton. My daring side was coming out because I wanted this perfect night to end the perfect way. “So, do I get a goodnight kiss then?” I asked shyly. His eyebrows rose in surprise, but he didn’t say anything. I smiled. “What, you wouldn’t kiss me at the door if this was under different circumstances?” I teased.
“Yeah, I guess I would,” he smiled and stepped closer to me, putting his hands on my waist and pushing me back gently so that my back was against the wall. I couldn’t breathe as my eyes settled on his luscious lips. I gulped, forcing myself to meet his eyes as he started inching his mouth towards mine. The passion was building inside me.
His lips brushed against mine gently for just a couple of seconds. My whole body tingled and heat spread through my veins, warming every part of my body. His eyes were shining with excitement and happiness as he pulled away.
I fought the urge to throw myself at him, to wrap myself tightly around him and ravage his mouth with mine. He always seemed to make me lose myself, this boy. It was like he had a secret power over me that made all of my inhibitions and worries fade into insignificance.
“Thank you for an incredible night, Anna.”
I smiled. It had been incredible, and I was glad he’d had a nice time too.
He sighed, tracing his finger across my cheek. “I like it when you smile. Your whole face lights up.” His hand dropped from my face as he nodded over his shoulder towards the bedroom door. “Go get changed, I’ll check the windows and stuff.”
Once in the privacy of the bedroom, I shrugged out of my clothes and into a pair of pyjamas, and then used a wipe to remove my make-up. When I was ready for bed, I sat down on the corner of the mattress and looked at my photo of Jack on my bedside cabinet. I sighed; I just didn’t know what to feel anymore. I didn’t want to go back to the life I used to have before Ashton. I was enjoying college, I loved my classes, the people here were nice and made me laugh, and of course, I had Ashton. He made my life easier. He was great. Actually, he was really great, and he made me happy.
My gaze locked on my fifteen-year-old carefree face in the photo; I was smiling so happily with Jack. I hadn’t ever expected to feel happy again after what happened, but I just couldn’t help it lately. There was just something about Ashton. He was slowly fixing me, I could feel it. The trouble was though that I actually felt guilty for letting him. My head was telling me that I should stay the broken girl that walked through life alone, that I shouldn’t be allowed to be happy after what had happened to Jack and that he’d died because of me. But my heart was telling me that I was being irrational and that just because he was gone, didn’t mean that my life had to be over.
I just didn’t know the answer anymore. Everything that I knew and was absolutely sure about before I met Ashton was now a little fuzzy and confusing.
Behind me, the bedroom door opened, and he walked in with a smile on his face that made my heart stutter – which, in turn, made me feel even guiltier because I just didn’t have any control over my body at all anymore. I hated that. Control was something that Carter had taken away from me, and I’d fought with everything I had in me to regain it. But Ashton took it with just one of his smiles.
He smiled and started stripping off his clothes while I just stood there watching him unashamedly. Why is every move he makes so freaking sexy? My eyes took in every inch of him. His body was amazing; I’d never seen anything like it. Jack’s body had been nice because he'd been captain of the football team, but it was nothing like Ashton’s. Ashton was just flawless, not too much muscle but clearly defined, and wasn’t too bumpy to lie on comfortably. When he started unbuttoning his jeans, I had to look away, because my body was starting to long for things that I shouldn’t and couldn’t have.
When he picked up the spare blanket and started walking towards the sofa bed, the words tumbled from my mouth before I could stop them. “Will you sleep with me again tonight?” I winced, turning and climbing into the bed as my face flamed with heat. I hated the fact that I wanted his presence around me all the time.
“You want me to?”
I nodded in response, flopping down onto my front and burying my face into the pillow. Moments later, the bed dipped next to me. I turned to the side and smiled gratefully as I scooted closer to him, melting against him and pressing my face into the side of his neck as his arms circled around me. I loved him touching me, everywhere he touched, my body would tingle. His attention made me feel special and needed. At times like this, with his arms looped around me tightly, I pretended that he really was my boyfriend instead of just doing his job. I pretended that he really did want me and that he saw past the broken, dirty and used girl, to see the real me inside. The girl that I didn’t let anyone else see.
“Ashton?” I mumbled against his skin, half asleep already.
“Mmm?”
“That was the best date I’ve ever had,” I admitted.
His arms tightened around me, pulling me impossibly closer. “Good.”