Chapter Thirty-Six
Over the next few days, I had the time of my life. Each day was different to the one before, we snorkelled, sunbathed, hiked, hired a pedal boat, and even took a ride over to the next island on a speedboat and did a little shopping. We spent a lot of the day just holding hands and talking. Ashton had finally relaxed, and even let me go to the bar on my own a couple of times. The evenings were spent either in the lounge bar watching the entertainment that the hotel laid on, or just lying on our terrace, eating dinner under the stars. The whole vacation had been spectacular. And the sex; my whole body ached in a satisfied way that it had never done before. The thought of going back to school was almost painful because I knew our ‘relationship’ would have to come to an end.
On Christmas morning, the sun shone through the window, heating my back. My head was on Ashton’s chest, and his arms were securely around me. A happy sigh left my lips. This is already the best Christmas ever, and I’ve only been awake for ten seconds!
I snuggled closer to him and looked up at his face. He was still asleep and looked like a dream because he was so beautiful. Pressing my face into the side of his neck, I breathed him in. It was like sensory overload as his unique scent filled my lungs and made me moan breathlessly.
He shifted slightly, and a lazy kiss was planted on the side of my head.
Excitement bubbled up inside me because he was awake and I could give him his presents. I’d already forwarded the other gifts that I’d bought – the main one being to all of his friends back in LA. The gift that I’d bought for Ashton would be better with a group of friends going too. I had no doubt in my mind that he was going to love it.
I pulled back to look at him again, and he grinned at me. “Good morning, Baby Girl. Merry Christmas,” he whispered as he bent his head to kiss me. I smiled against his lips and rolled on top of him, before sitting up and smiling excitedly.
“Merry Christmas to you too. Can I give you your present now?” I asked excitedly.
A wicked smile crept onto his lips as his hands slid up my thighs, over my hips, and settled on my waist with his thumbs on the skin just under my breasts. “Oh yeah, I would love my present,” he purred suggestively. Desire built inside me quickly, and the gift giving was long forgotten as I dipped my head and captured his lips in a soft kiss. Before things could progress, he rolled so that he was hovering above me. “I was joking, you know. I’d like to give you your gift too,” he said, laughing.
I nodded, too lost in the moment to stop. “Maybe later,” I muttered, guiding his mouth down to mine again as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
One intense lovemaking session later, I watched as he climbed out of the bed and fumbled through one of our suitcases before plucking something out of the side pocket and strutting back to the bed. I’d been more organised and already had mine placed under the bed where I could reach them. I leant down, picking them up, unable to keep the smile off my face.
As he settled back into the bed, we exchanged gifts. I nodded to the two things in his lap. “Do yours first, I want to watch you open them.” I didn’t actually care what he’d bought for me, he didn’t need to have gotten me anything at all, I already owed him more than I could ever give him for what he’d done for my life in the last four months.
He smiled worriedly. “You promise that you didn’t go crazy? You agreed not to go overboard.”
“I didn’t go overboard,” I confirmed. Well, I didn’t think I did anyway, but he may have a different idea about boundaries and limits. I pointed to the cheaper one. “Do that one first,” I chirped.
He picked it up and slid his finger under the tape. My nerves were frazzled; he was being so slow, I was sure he was doing it on purpose. As he pulled the paper off, his eyes widened and a beautiful smile stretched across his face. “Oh God, Anna, I love this!” he enthused. I smiled down at the photo of us that I’d put into a silver frame. It was one of the ones from my father’s birthday party; I’d purchased it from one of the photographers.
I grinned. “I have a couple of others at home too, but I only brought one with me because of the ridiculous baggage allowance restrictions,” I chimed in.
“This is the best thing that you could have gotten me,” he gushed, leaning in and kissing me softly.
I chuckled knowingly. “Yeah, until you see that one,” I teased, pointing to the rectangular, gold, flat present. He picked it up quickly, ripping it open. As he pulled out the sheet of paper inside and saw that it was a trip itinerary, he looked up at me warningly. “I hope that you’ve included yourself on whatever this is,” he said before he even unfolded it.
I sighed, knowing he would be difficult about it at first. “Ashton, don’t start freaking out and panicking. No, I’m not going because it’s really not something that I’d enjoy. Just get over it, alright?” I stated, trying to look stern but probably failing miserably because I actually loved the fact that he worried about me so much. “Smile, please? I’m so excited about this, please don’t ruin it for me,” I begged.
He sighed and nodded, finally looking down at the printed sheet in his hand. As he read it over, I saw the tension leave his face as he read the details of it. “Holy shit! You’ve arranged for a driving weekend for me and my friends? Shit, Anna, this is incredible!”
I grinned and chewed on my lip as I nodded enthusiastically. I knew he would love it. It was a weekend of driving in a Formula 1 car, with actual tuition and lunch with one of the McLaren-Mercedes drivers. Once I’d had the idea of it, my father had pulled in a lot of strings to make it possible. Luckily, it was off season for the Grand Prix, so that made it possible.
“Tell me that’s not better than a photo,” I prompted, smirking at him.
He laughed, shaking his head. “Okay, yeah, you got me. Thank you so much for this, it’s amazing, seriously overboard, but amazing,” he sighed, and his eyes tightened. “But you’ll come too, right?”
I groaned, knowing that this was where it got difficult. I knew he wouldn’t like being two and a half hours’ flight away from me. “I don’t want to go. I booked this for you and your friends, and you can relax without me being there. This really isn’t something that I’d enjoy.”
He reached out and touched my cheek softly, his eyes betraying his anxiousness. “I don’t want to leave you.”
I sighed at the puppy dog face that he pulled. “Please don’t do that face at me! I’ve arranged for a guard to come and replace you for the weekend. It’s just two nights. Please? Come on, you love this, right? Your friends are gonna love this too,” I pleaded desperately.
He sighed and looked down at the paper. “I really, really love this. Thank you,” he said gratefully.
An excited squeal left my lips as I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. “Yes! I knew you’d love it!”
He laughed quietly. “Why are you so excited? This is my gift, not yours.”
I sighed happily and pulled back to look at him. “Yeah, but I love giving you things.”
He nodded. “Yeah, don’t I know it,” he muttered sarcastically. “But you know what?” He bent forward and cupped my face in his hands. “This,” he said, kissing me on the lips tenderly, “this kiss would have been enough to make this the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” he stated, his eyes sparkling and showing me the truth of his words.
My heart melted to a puddle at his sweet words. “Well, in that case, now you’ve had the kiss and get to go to drive a fast car!”
He shook his head, laughing incredulously. “You are just too perfect, Baby Girl,” he stated, looking at me softly. Perfect? Yeah right, I’m not; I’m moody, bitchy, needy, and aggressive! “Your turn,” he said, handing me a flat present the size of a birthday card.
I smiled gratefully. “Thank you.” I silently prayed this would be something we could do together. Tearing it open eagerly, I saw a Christmas card inside. When I opened it, two tickets for Usher’s concert tumbled out into my lap. Shock resonated through my body as my mouth dropped open. They must have cost him a fortune. “Ashton…” Tears welled in my eyes because of how thoughtful this was. Usher was my favourite. “This is…” I was lost for words.
He smiled, leaning forward and wiping the tear away as it fell down my face. “You’re very welcome.”
I swallowed, running my thumb over the little official silver hologram. “You are so thoughtful; this is fantastic. Thank you.”
“So, who you gonna take?” he asked, smiling at me.
I laughed and pretended to think about it. “Hmm, I think maybe I’ll ask Rosie,” I joked.
“Good choice. I would have gone for Rosie too,” he winked at me playfully.
I literally threw myself at him, knocking him flat onto his back as I kissed him passionately. When I broke the kiss, I looked at him in awe because he was just so special. “This is the best Christmas, ever,” I whispered truthfully.
He stroked his hand down my back softly. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
“I’m not having a good time, I’m having the best time of my life here with you,” I corrected, smiling ecstatically.
His hand tangled into the back of my hair as he tilted my head back and kissed the tip of my nose. “I got you something else too,” he whispered.
My overeager, hormone ridden body was already imagining things that he could do for me as a present. I raised one eyebrow, pressing closer to him. “Oh really? And would this thing involve your tongue doing sinful things to my body?”
He laughed wickedly and shook his head. “No, pervert!”
My mouth dropped open in shock as heat spread across my face because obviously I’d taken his comment the wrong way. “Oh.”
He was still laughing as he rolled us to the side and reached into the drawer beside his bed, producing a little, red velvet jewellery box. “That wasn’t the gift that I had planned, but I can absolutely do that after if you want.” He grinned at me and my blush deepened. “This is what I actually meant.”
My breath caught in my throat as he held out the box to me. “Why did you buy me something else? The concert tickets were already too much,” I whispered, watching his face, just marvelling over him like I had done hundreds of times before.
“Just open it,” he instructed.
I gulped and took the box, sitting up on the bed as I ran my fingers over the soft, velvety material. Lifting the lid slowly, I saw a beautiful pair of emerald stud earrings. My hand unconsciously went to my matching necklace and rubbed over the emerald stone that I hadn’t taken off since the day that he’d put it around my neck. Air rushed out of my lungs because of how precious the earrings were. The sun shining through the window made them sparkle and cast green shadows over my chest and wrist. I looked up at him and couldn’t speak. No one could be this perfect, could they?
“You like them?” he asked, looking a little unsure. “You can change them if you want to. Don’t say you like them if you don’t, I mean, I’m not good at picking out jewellery or anything. You probably hate them.”
I put my hand out, covering his mouth to stop any more ridiculous words tumbling out. “Thank you. I love them,” I whispered. The word didn’t even cover how much I was in love with the earrings.
He smiled against my hand. “You’re welcome,” he mumbled through my hand, his voice muffled.
I sighed happily and swung my legs out of bed. “I’m going to put these in,” I stated, unable to take my eyes from the little green stones nestled in the cream folds of silk.
“Hey, I thought I was doing sinful things to your body with my tongue!” he called as I walked out of the room towards the bedroom.
I grinned over my shoulder. “Hold that thought for two minutes while I put on my gift, and then maybe I’ll let my tongue do sinful things to your body too, to show you how grateful I am.”
That day was the most magical, lazy Christmas I’d ever had. Ashton and I lay on the beach in a hammock, listening to my iPod, sipping cocktails. It was pure perfection.
Unfortunately, our time in paradise seemed to whizz past all too quickly. On our last day, my heart sank with every item of clothing I packed into the suitcases. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back to reality or back to our friends. The most special thing about being here with him wasn’t the view or the sea, or even the whirlpool bath with the one way glass wall that looked out over the never-ending ocean. No, it was the fact that I had Ashton Taylor all to myself, and his undivided attention. Here, I could love him without the pressure or the barriers, but once we went home again, that would have to change. I couldn’t let this carry on. I couldn’t build my life around him any more than I already did. I couldn’t allow him any closer.
Of course, I was hoping that once his assignment was finished, he’d want to remain friends, talk on the phone, maybe visit occasionally. I already had a secret fantasy where I finished my college course and moved to LA to get a job, and then I could hang out with him and Nate all the time. The only trouble with that idea was that maybe he’d already be taken by then. Maybe I’d have to watch him play house with some other girl and spoil her rotten with his little romantic gestures that make my heart ache. The thought of him with another girl brought tears to my eyes.
The vacation was the best thing that ever happened to me, but in a way it was also the worst too. If we’d never come here then maybe I never would have realised my love for him. Maybe I would be staggering along in blissful denial, and then I wouldn’t be feeling like this inside. Life was so much easier when I had nothing to lose. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to force him out of my heart, and that terrified me because he could be taken from me at any minute and I would be powerless to shield myself from the pain and devastation. The pain doubled in my chest and I sniffed and wiped my teary face, taking a few calming breaths, knowing I was now going to have to have that painful and awkward conversation with him.
~ Ashton ~
Anna had been quiet all morning. Distant. It scared me. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, but something told me it was best to let her work it out. She liked to be in control and do things for herself. If she needed to talk to me or ask for help, she would.
“I’m gonna go shower, Baby Girl, then I’ll help you pack, okay?” I suggested, wanting to give her a little space.
“Sure, I’ll make a start,” she replied, turning her back on me. The disappointment that settled in the pit of my stomach made me feel nauseous. I made my way to the bathroom, shrugging out of my clothes and tossing them carelessly onto the side as I switched on the water. The spray pounded down onto my shoulders as I looked out over the ocean. I would definitely bring her back here one day as I’d promised. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts of going home, back to normality, school and far guards, so I didn’t even hear her come into the room.
“Hi, got room for one more?”
My heart leapt in my chest. I turned to see her standing in the doorway, naked. Her glorious body made my mouth water, but her face made my heart stop. She’d been crying. Her eyes were red, but she was faking a smile to cover whatever she was feeling.
I held out a hand to her and nodded. “Definitely.”
As her hand closed over mine, allowing me to help her into the shower, I looked over her face worriedly. The hurt and sadness was easy to see. When her big, brown eyes met mine, the tenderness I could see there made my heart race. I could see in her eyes that she loved me, she was scared, but she loved me. I knew it now, even if she didn’t.
Her eyes filled with tears as she reached out a hand and traced her fingertips across my chest. She pulled my face down to hers. I kissed her desperately, showing her how much I loved her, wanted her and needed her. She kissed me back with the same intensity; the kiss was so sweet it was almost too much to bear.
Every time I had been with her was incredible, but this was simply mind-blowing, it was more than sex, it was everything to me, so tender and perfect. It was as if she touched every part of my body, mind and soul, and I knew that I would want her and only her, forever. There was no doubt in my mind that we were made for each other.
I didn’t ask her what happened now, or why it happened. I didn’t need a label or anything this time. I knew she loved me, so I could give her all the time in the world to realise it.
It didn’t matter that she was about to tell me this was a mistake, that it couldn’t happen again and that things would go back to normal once we were home. I knew she was trying to let me in, she was trying to let herself love me and that was a gargantuan step for her. Even if I had to wait forever for her to realise that she loved me, I would always be grateful for this vacation. I’d got to make her blissfully happy for two weeks and that would see me through a lifetime full of hurt.
After we’d made love in the shower, I held her in my arms, not wanting to let go.
“We’d better go pack,” she said quietly after a few minutes of silence. I nodded, not wanting to make this any harder for her because she was obviously struggling with the fact that she had feelings for me. I could see how torn she was inside, and her internal conflict made my heart ache. “Ashton, when we get home…” she trailed off, looking at her feet as she wrapped the towel around herself.
“Yeah, I know, you don’t need to say it,” I said honestly. I could tell by her face what she was going to say, and that was fine, she needed time after what she’d been through.
She looked up at me, her eyes full of sorrow. “Okay good. Let’s go pack then, we need to leave in an hour or so, right?” she replied, changing the subject.
“Yeah we need to be at the boat in an hour and twenty minutes,” I confirmed, looking at my watch. She turned her back on me and walked out of the bathroom. Once I was alone, I closed my eyes and prayed with all my heart that she was strong enough to let herself love me. I’d wait as long as it took.