Free Read Novels Online Home

Nothing Left to Lose by Kirsty Moseley (43)

Chapter Forty-Three

 

 

For two full days and nights, I felt like I was walking on air. They describe being in love like being on cloud nine, but to me, it felt almost like twelve or thirteen at least. But, of course, something had to come along and ruin it. It was as if the universe refused to allow me to be happy. Maybe I didn’t deserve to be happy, just like I always thought. Ashton and I had barely left the apartment for two days since we first made the L-word confession. At my request, we’d skipped school and it wasn’t only because we were too wrapped up in exploring each other’s bodies, though that certainly was a part of it, but it was also because of the trial. I didn’t want to go anywhere in case I was called up suddenly and had to jump on a flight to go and give my evidence. The trial weighed on us both, casting a shadow over everything that should be wonderful and full of roses. It seemed that Carter still had a way of ruining my life, even without knowing he was doing it.

On the third morning, we didn’t even bother setting an alarm. It surprised me when I woke to the sound of Ashton’s cell phone ringing loudly from the bedside unit. I nudged him with my elbow as I eyed the alarm clock, seeing that it was half past ten in the morning.

He let out a loud, sleep-filled groan as he pushed himself up off me and fumbled for his phone. I rolled over to face him, feeling the smile creep onto my face because he just looked so mouth-wateringly gorgeous in the morning. Knowing that the boy was mine literally made my heart pick up in double-time.

“Hello?” he muttered into the phone, running a hand through his messed up, I-had-a-lot-of-mind-blowing-sex-last-night hair. His eyes immediately widened as the muscles in his shoulders tightened. He practically jumped out of the bed, pulling on yesterday’s jeans. “Yes, sir,” he said, zipping them up with one hand. His eyes flicked to me. “No, she’s right here. Yeah okay, one moment, sir,” He pulled the phone away from his ear, frowning. “It’s your father, Anna. He wants me to put the call on speaker so he can talk to both of us,” Ashton explained, fiddling with his phone.

My mouth popped open, immediately knowing what this would be about. Somehow, he had found out that Ashton and I were together. He was probably calling to express his displeasure and to tell us to cease the relationship and for Ashton to pack his bags. My back stiffened at the thought. There was no way I was allowing my father to send him away from me.

Ashton set the phone on the bed. “Okay, sir, go ahead.”

I glared down at the phone challengingly, waiting for him to say the words and for us to start the almighty argument that I knew would come once he tried to split us up. My dad cleared his throat. “Okay well, I have some news, I’ve just heard, it’s literally just happened,” he said, uncharacteristically stumbling over his words.

“What, Dad? Spit it out,” I instructed, already exasperated with all of this pussyfooting around. Yes, it was probably wrong for Ashton and I to be involved because he was my guard, yes, we had probably gone about this the wrong way, but hadn’t my parents been telling me to let go of Jack and be happy for the last three and a half years?

He sucked in a ragged breath before he spoke the words that I had never expected to hear in my life. “I’ve just been informed by the court that they’ve had to release Carter Thomas.”

My breath caught in my throat as I registered his words. He was out? He couldn’t be. He’d killed Jack. I’d watched him do it. How could he have been released? The trial had only been going for two days.

Ashton gasped. “What the? They released him? How? Why? When?”

My dad sighed. “This morning, less than five minutes ago. They overturned his conviction. He’s been cleared of all charges. Apparently yesterday was a disaster. His lawyers ripped all the previous evidence to shreds, had crime scene experts come in and testify against their own colleagues. Apparently it was ruled that the DNA samples, fibres and fingerprints that they found on Jack’s body were collected incorrectly. There was a risk that they were contaminated, something to do with not using a sterile bag. Because there was a slight chance that they were contaminated, the Judge had no choice but to deem them all inadmissible,” my dad explained.

I closed my eyes. It was just too much to take in. The man who had killed Jack and tortured me for months on end, who had raped me repeatedly and beat me, was free. My husband. He was out. There was no justice. Jack was dead, and Carter, his murderer, was walking off scot-free. That wasn’t right; this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Tears stung my eyes.

“Anna, are you okay?” Ashton’s hands cupped my face gently, forcing my head up so I had to look at him. His eyes were flashing with anger, but still managed to look at me tenderly, like I was the only girl in the world.

I nodded awkwardly. “I didn’t even get called. Why didn’t they call me in to testify again?” I croaked.

My dad answered that question. “Late yesterday afternoon, Carter’s lawyers also presented some new evidence. I’ve been told this morning that it was some kind of CCTV footage that was date stamped from that night. It showed him half way across town the night it happened. They even had an expert come in and verify it. Without the fibres and fingerprints, it would have been your word against his plus the CCTV footage. That wasn’t enough to continue with the trial. The Judge had no choice but to rule in his favour.” My dad sounded like he’d aged ten years in the last couple of minutes.

Ashton made an angry growling sound in his throat. “What? How the hell can they do that? How the hell can there be CCTV footage?”

I smiled at him sadly; he really had no idea who Carter was. “Carter can do whatever he wants. He has people everywhere; if there’s something he wants, he won’t stop until it’s his. These experts, they can be bought. Hell, he probably had someone in the police tamper with the evidence so it couldn’t be used,” I explained, shrugging.

Ashton looked at me like I had lost my mind. “You’re saying that he paid someone to fabricate some CCTV of him across town to give him an alibi?” he asked, shocked.

“Sure, why not. Hell, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to get his conviction overthrown,” I replied matter-of-factly.

He shook his head fiercely. “But what about the fact that Anna was there at his house? Doesn’t that prove what she’s saying is the truth? That he killed Jack and kidnapped her? How can they just dismiss that?” Ashton asked, glaring at the phone on the bed.

I gulped. I knew the answer to that, and it was my fault. I hadn’t wanted to press charges; I refused to give any statements about what he did to me because I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. During the first trial, it was recorded that I refused to make a comment, and Carter’s lawyers claimed that I was there of my own free will, that we met, that it was pure coincidence, that I was drunk that night and confused. They made me out to be some kind of scorned girlfriend that was trying to pin something on Carter as some sort of payback for some undisclosed incident. They even had someone question my sanity. It wasn’t my evidence that secured the conviction; it was the fibres that they found on Jack’s body that put him away for murder. My evidence had just helped; it was never me that made a difference.

“That was ruled last time as inconsequential. What he did to Annabelle was never brought into question, the fact that she was there was marked as coincidence, but it couldn’t be used against him,” my dad explained, skirting around the issue.

“So that’s it, after everything he’s done, he gets to walk away?” Ashton growled. His hands tightened into fists. “You can’t do anything, sir? You’re the President, for goodness’ sake, you can’t let this happen!”

“Son, you need to calm down. I hate this situation as much as you do, but just because I’m in a position of power doesn’t mean that I can break the law! If I force the issue then I’d be no better than he is. My whole campaign was based on truth and justice, I can’t very well force them to hold him if there’s no evidence,” my dad answered, his voice stern and final.

Ashton sighed and closed his eyes, running a hand through his hair, his whole posture agitated and alert. “Sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to suggest…” he trailed off, his hands still in tight fists, his knuckles white.

“I know. Let’s just look to the matter in hand here, shall we?” my dad suggested.

Ashton plopped down on the bed next to me and took my hand. “I won’t let him hurt you, I swear,” he told me fiercely, his jaw tight, his whole body tense.

I smiled sadly. “He won’t hurt me, Ashton; he won’t have the slightest interest in me at all. All he’ll be worried about is getting his power back and showing people he’s back in charge. I wouldn’t be surprised if some big deal’s not being arranged as we speak,” I said honestly. If I knew Carter at all, he’d want to gain his respect back. Respect was always the most valuable thing to him.

Ashton looked at me desperately before turning back to the phone. “Sir, surely it’s time now?”

I raised one eyebrow in question.

My dad sighed. “Yes, I guess it is,” he muttered. I looked up at Ashton, confused about the turn in the conversation. What was it time for? My dad groaned. “Annabelle, Carter’s been sending you letters every week since the time he was arrested.”

Bile immediately rose in my throat. Carter was still interested in me? How? Why? And why the hell would they not tell me this?

“I thought it best to keep it from you at first because you just weren’t coping, then I didn’t want to put any more pressure on you. You were so fragile,” my dad explained quickly, answering my unspoken question.

I glanced up at Ashton’s guilt-stricken face and realised that he already knew about this. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. “This is why Ashton’s here, a SWAT guy. I finally get why he was assigned to me. Carter wants me dead, so you bring in a guy like Ashton to protect me. Now it makes sense,” I said, shaking my head, frowning as the reality of it sank in. I’d always wondered how on earth someone like Ashton could get stuck in a dead-end assignment like this one.

“He doesn’t want you dead, Annabelle,” my dad said grimly.

“Well what does he want?” I asked, confused.

There was silence on the end of the phone for a few seconds and in those few seconds, I think my heart stopped beating. “He wants you back,” my dad answered quietly.

I gasped and jumped out of bed. My body reacted of its own accord. My back slammed against the wall as my eyes darted around the room, suddenly afraid that he would jump out from some darkened corner. Memories of the rapes, the beatings, the isolation, the way he looked at me… all of it rushed back to me at once, making me dry heave. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide under the bed and never come out. He wanted me back…

A heavy weight pressed me against the wall tightly. My numb brain came back to the present a little and I realised it was Ashton. He’d pinned me against the wall, his body pressing against mine. It was a protective pose.

“Shh, it’s okay, shh,” he whispered, smoothing my hair away from my face. His hand gripped the back of my neck, guiding my head to his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to his heart, forcing myself to breathe in and out, in and out. My fingers dug into Ashton’s back, and I was sure to be hurting him, but I couldn’t let go.

“You knew but didn’t tell me.” My voice was barely more than a whisper.

His arms tightened around me as he pressed his cheek against the top of my head. “I wanted to, Baby Girl, I promise. It wasn’t my call,” he explained.

My chin trembled as I pulled back, looking up into his eyes. I could see the truth in his words, this wasn’t his idea, this was my father’s half-assed idea of keeping me safe and shielding me from more harm. I took a deep breath. I needed to be strong now. The worry and apprehension on Ashton’s face was enough to make me realise that I needed to get a hold of myself and calm down for him.

“I’m okay,” I lied, willing my shaking voice not to betray me.

He backed away slowly; taking my hand and guiding me back over to the bed. As I sat down, I spotted his T-shirt in a pile on the floor, so I stooped to pick it up and pull it down over my head.

“Sir, are you still there?” Ashton asked, fiddling with the phone.

“I’m here,” my father confirmed, his voice choked and strained.

I sniffed and wiped my face, forcing myself to be strong as I looked down at the phone, wanting answers. “So, what was in these letters? Does he know where I am?” I asked.

My father cleared his throat. “He knows what school you’re at. For the last couple of months, the letters have been sent to the college,” he said, sounding almost apologetic. “I’m sending four more guards over to your location, just to be on the safe side. They should be arriving within the hour. Agent Taylor, do you think you could organise them when they get there? Whatever you feel’s best, I’ve already instructed them to that effect.”

“Yes, sir, of course,” Ashton confirmed in his business tone. He was already planning, I could tell by the look on his face.

“Okay, well if I hear anything else, I’ll call straight away. If you need anything, call me anytime and Maddy will put you straight through,” my dad stated.

“Yes, sir,” Ashton replied.

“Annabelle, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but honestly we thought that this was in your best interests,” my dad said, sounding like he was asking for my approval.

In all honesty, it probably was the best thing at the start; I wouldn’t have coped very well with that at all. But since Ashton, I could have been told. Maybe it would have helped me understand why he was always so strict and professional when we went out.

“Now isn’t the time to start arguing over something that’s done. I understand why you didn’t tell me,” I admitted. “I’ll speak to you later, Dad,” I mumbled, not wanting to speak anymore.

“Bye, Annabelle, Agent Taylor,” he replied as he cut off the phone. I glanced over to the love of my life. He was worried sick, his beautiful face was pale and showed the picture of concern.

His arms encircled me, crushing me against him. When he moved towards me, the weight of his body meant I had nowhere to go but backwards onto the bed. His body covered mine, pressing me down into the mattress. “You don’t need to worry, Baby Girl, I promise. I would die before I let him touch you again,” he growled fiercely.

My heart stopped at his words. I could see the truth in his eyes. He wouldn’t let Carter take me; he would fight for me to the death. And with that knowledge, my heart broke all over again. I knew what was coming. In my mind’s eye I could already see it, Carter turning up, Ashton and him locked in some kind of death battle, Ashton being hurt or killed. Me, alone again, watching another person that I loved being ripped away from me.

I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t allow him to be hurt. This time I had some control, this time I could prevent it, this time the boy I loved would live. I would never allow Carter to hurt Ashton, ever.

Forcing a fake smile, I tried desperately to think of a plan, an escape, something that would ensure that this time it all ended differently. Scenarios flicked through my head, us leaving, going into hiding, changing our names. But each one boiled down to the same thing – Carter would find us, and he would kill him in the slowest way possible. No, there was only one way I could ensure his safety.

“I’m going to go and have a shower before the new guards all come. I guess you need to go and talk to Dean and Peter and tell them what’s happened,” I muttered, trying not to let out the waves of emotion that were crashing over me show in my face or in my voice.

He sighed and dipped his head, capturing my lips in a kiss that was so sweet that it shattered my heart. I kissed him back, savouring every last second of it, knowing that it would be the last kiss I would ever have. I memorised the soft feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the smell of him, how the heat spread through my body making my heart throb. I memorised every single thing about it while my heart broke silently.

He pulled away and stroked my face softly. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, watching my face. I nodded, working hard to keep my face natural. I must have done a pretty decent job because he kissed me on the lips again quickly then pushed up off me and left the bedroom, looking like it almost pained him to walk away from me.

I sat up and put my head in my hands, thinking it through again. Was there any other option? Was there anything else I could do to protect him? Carter knew where we were. He wanted me back, and if he had seen any of the magazines or papers then he would already see all of the stuff about Ashton… and he would be murderously angry. The dream I had about Ashton’s broken face and body flashed into my mind, and I whimpered. My eyes fluttered closed, holding on to the memory of that dream. I took a deep breath; I needed to draw on my inner strength now. It didn’t matter how much it hurt me, I needed him safe. There was only one way to keep him safe, and that was to get him as far away from me as possible.

I couldn’t live in a world where Ashton didn’t exist. It hurt so much when Jack died, I couldn’t go through all of that again. If anything happened to Ashton, my whole world would collapse. I had to keep him safe, even if the pain would be excruciating, I wouldn’t allow Carter to hurt Ashton.

I swallowed my sob and picked up my cell phone before walking to the bathroom on wobbly legs. I scrolled through my contacts, finding the one I wanted as I closed the door behind me tightly and leant against it. Maddy answered immediately. “President Spencer’s Office,” she said politely.

“Hi, Maddy. Can I speak to my dad please?”

I heard her tapping on keys. “I’ll just put you through, Annabelle,” she stated as the hold music started. I took a few calming breaths, I needed to get this done without giving anything away.

“Annabelle, is everything okay?” my father asked worriedly.

Come on, Anna, you can do this! “Actually no, Dad.” I took another deep breath. “I need you to do something for me, but I don’t want you to question me. It’s something that I need to have happen,” I said, trying to stress the importance without giving anything away.

“Of course, Annabelle. What is it?”

I slumped down onto the bathroom floor, leaning my back against the door, gripping my free hand in my hair. “I need you to transfer Agent Taylor,” I replied quickly.

His reaction was exactly what I thought it would be. “What? Transfer? I can’t do that, Annabelle! He’s there for your protection; he’s the best man for the job. With everything going on right now, you need him there,” he said sternly.

I closed my eyes, trying to block out the pain that I was feeling inside. “Dad, I need this to happen. I don’t ask you for much, do I? If you love me at all, you’ll do this for me and not ask me anything else about it. Please, Dad, please?” I begged, my voice starting to break.

He was quiet for a couple of seconds. I couldn’t breathe. I could feel my heart getting harder with each passing second; I was starting to push everything away again, just like I used to. I didn’t care about my own life; Carter could do what the hell he wanted to me, as long as Ashton wasn’t harmed.

“Annabelle, do you know what you’re asking? You want me to transfer him even after I just told you that Carter knows where you are? This is that important to you?” he asked quietly.

Jeez, Ashton is the most important thing in the world. “Yes,” I croaked.

“Has something happened? Has he done something wrong?” my dad inquired hesitantly.

I gasped. “No! He’s done nothing wrong. He’s an excellent agent, exemplary. I just need you to transfer him, please?” I said fiercely.

He sighed. “Do I get to know the reason?”

“No. Please trust me, please do this for me. Transfer him to wherever he wants to go. He wanted some Front Line thing in LA.” I wiped the silent tear that fell down my cheek.

He was quiet again. “Okay, consider it done,” he replied, his voice tender and worried.

Relief washed over me and my stomach unclenched. The fear loosened, and the muscles that I didn’t even realise I had tensed, started to relax.

“Thank you, Dad. Thank you, thank you,” I muttered.

“I’ll call him and let him know,” he stated sadly.

I gasped, panic stricken. “No, don’t! You can’t do that.”

“What? You just said you-” he started, but I interrupted him.

“Dad, Ashton’s not going to want to leave. If he finds out now, he’s going to do everything in his power to stay. You can’t tell him until he’s ready to go. I think he’s going to need to be escorted away,” I admitted, biting the inside of my mouth hard enough to draw blood.

“But if he’s that dead set against going, why is he being transferred?” he asked. I could hear the frustration in his tone.

“Because I need him transferred.”

He sighed again. I could just imagine his defeated frown as he ran his hand over the back of his neck. “Okay,” he finally agreed. “The four agents that are coming over should be there within about forty minutes. I’ll call and have them escort him straight to the airport and wait until he’s on the plane. I’ll get Maddy to book his flight.”

I smiled weakly. “Okay. Maybe you could call Dean Michaels and let him know what’s going on, but tell him not to say anything to Ashton,” I suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. So when the four guards get there, they’ll take Agent Taylor to the airport and leave you with your two far guards,” he clarified, checking I understood everything.

“Can I have Dean as my new near guard? He’s the only one I wouldn’t mind near me.”

“That sounds like a good plan for the short term, but we might need to look at something else longer term. Maybe it’s best if you come home for a while or something,” he replied, sounding exasperated.

“I don’t want to leave school,” I replied quickly. “Can’t we just see how this all goes for a while?”

“For the moment, but I’ll keep a close eye on it. I already have people keeping tabs on what he’s up to. If I get even one sniff that he’s coming near Arizona, you’re coming here to stay with us. Understood?”

“Understood,” I confirmed. “Dad, one more thing before you go.”

“What’s that, Annabelle?” he asked curiously.

“Ashton’s done an exceptional job here. I don’t want you to think that just because I’ve requested this early transfer that this looks bad on him. He really deserves whatever recommendation you would have given him at the end of the eight months,” I said sternly.

“Okay, Annabelle, don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything,” he replied as he ended the call.

I let out the breath I didn’t even realise I was holding. It was going to be hard enough to watch Ashton leave me, but I had a feeling I was going to have to make him go, and I would need all my strength for that. He was going to force me to lie right to his face; he was going to make me rip my own heart out when I explained it to him.

I refused to feel the pain that was trying to break into my heart; this pain was nothing to knowing he was hurt or dead. I couldn’t change my mind, this needed to be done. I just needed to keep myself focussed and strong. This was the only way I had a chance at keeping him safe.

I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the door. “Please let me be strong enough to let him go,” I whispered, before pushing myself up off the floor and climbing into the shower. As I cried helplessly in the spray, I couldn’t get the thought of Ashton’s broken, bloody face out of my head. My heart was breaking irrevocably. But that dream wouldn’t come true. This time I would get to save the boy I loved.