Chapter Forty-Two
The next three weeks before Carter’s trial seemed to pass in a blur. Thankfully, and quite rightly, the press were now more interested in President Spencer than they were me and Anna – though the gossip magazines still chose to feature us both on a regular basis.
Security had tightened around Anna now that the trial was so close. I’d already pulled Dean and Peter in closer as a precaution.
Anna herself had changed slightly in the last couple of weeks. As the trial drew nearer, she became a little flaky and kept going off into her own little world, often completely oblivious to everything around her. Her school work was suffering, deadlines were being missed, but luckily her professors were already going easy on her because of who her father was. For the last two days, Anna had barely eaten anything, barely spoken, and I’d almost forgotten what her smile looked like. But, true to her word, she hadn’t shut me out. We’d spoken numerous times about the trial and what would happen. Although she’d been quieter, and was clearly suffering inside, she hadn’t had the breakdown yet that I was sure would come. I’d been keeping a close eye on her, even to the point of checking her arms while she slept to make sure that she’d not been hurting herself, but thankfully, she hadn’t.
The day before the trial was due to start, the prosecution lawyer paid us another visit, again reassuring her that she shouldn’t be called into court. He’d predicted that the retrial would last no longer than a week and then it would all be over. She’d just nodded politely the whole time, holding my hand in a vice-like grip that almost cut off the circulation in my fingers.
That night, we finally went to bed. That seemed to be where most of her talking was done. It was almost as if she waited for the lights to go off or something. I figured it was easier for her to talk about it when no one was looking at her.
As she scooted over to me and set her head on my chest, I wrapped my arms around her tightly. “Are you okay, Baby Girl?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she whispered.
Frowning into the darkness, I rolled to the side and tangled one hand into the back of her hair, holding her securely against me. “Everything’s going to be fine tomorrow,” I assured her, dipping my head and kissing her cheek softly. That did it, the floodgates finally opened and she burst into tears.
I stroked her hair, knowing that there was nothing I could say or do to make her feel better as she sobbed uncontrollably onto my chest. Her whole body hitched and shook as her tears pooled on my skin and her breathing came out in ragged gasps. Her fingers dug into my back, clutching me closer to her as she cried her heart out.
After almost an hour of heart breaking sobs, she finally drifted off to sleep in my arms. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well tonight. Anger simmered inside me as all I could think about was the photos that I’d seen in her file. The bruises and broken bones that had been documented on the day that she’d been rescued flashed before my eyes. I felt sick. I rolled onto my back, keeping one arm around her, and then I just lay there, staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours before I fell into a restless sleep.
I woke early in the morning. It was only just after six. Anna was stretched out across my chest, still sound asleep. It made a change for her to be lying on me instead of the other way around. I trailed my fingers up and down her back, enjoying her closeness. This week was going to kill me. Seeing her upset like that every day was going to be pain like I’d never experienced. I lay there, watching her for another hour until she stirred, scooting closer to me and making a little sleepy groaning sound as she kissed my chest softly. When she tilted her head up, I saw that her eyes were a little bloodshot and slightly puffy from crying for so long.
I reached out and brushed her hair from her face. “Morning, Baby Girl,” I greeted, smiling sadly.
Her eyes flicked away from me as a subtle blush crept over her face. “I’m sorry I cried all over you last night, Ashton. I’m so pathetic.” She ground her teeth and frowned as she absentmindedly traced my belly button with one finger.
I closed my eyes and shook my head at her. She truly was absurd sometimes. “You’re not pathetic, and I don’t care if you cry all over me, Anna. I want to be here for you,” I promised.
She hugged me fiercely and made a strangled sound in the back of her throat. “You know, I’m going to miss you so much when you leave.” Her voice was husky and full of emotion.
I frowned at her statement. “Leave? Where am I going?” I didn’t have any planned trips or anything.
She smiled sadly. “When you leave, when your assignments done. You’re only guarding me until after the trial is finished,” she explained, rolling off me and lying close to my side.
That was true. My assignment was due to finish just a couple of weeks after Carter’s trial ended, which potentially meant that I could have a new job in just three short weeks’ time. I smiled sheepishly because I didn’t intend for that to happen and had planned on speaking to her about it. It looked like now was going to be that time, seeing as she brought it up first. “I wanted to talk to you about that, actually,” I admitted.
“Yeah?” she chewed on her lip as if she was trying to hold herself together.
I nodded, swallowing my nerves, knowing that the time had come for me to finally admit my feelings for her. “Yeah. I was thinking, once I’m not your guard anymore, I could request an assignment near your school.” I watched her face to see what she truly thought.
A confused frown lined her forehead as she looked up at me. “Here? Why?”
I chuckled awkwardly because she just had no idea of the power that she had over me. Now I just had to suck it up and bite the bullet. It was now time for me to tell her that I loved her and pray that she didn’t freak out.
“Well, I want to stay here with you. I was wondering if I get an assignment here, maybe we could still live together?” I suggested hopefully.
She gasped and shook her head, looking extremely angry. I winced immediately, scolding myself. She obviously wasn’t ready for me to be getting this heavy with her. I should have waited another couple of weeks.
“I’m not some charity case, Ashton! God, you need to chill out, for goodness’ sake! Other agents can look after me, you know,” she cried angrily as she pushed herself up, about to get out of bed. I groaned. Again, she thinks I’m only interested in her safety. Why can’t she see that I’m head over heels for her? I grabbed her hand before she could get out of the bed. “Get off, Ashton! Seriously, I’m really annoyed with you. You think other people can’t look after me so you have to stay here and babysit me, even when it’s not your job anymore?” she spat, struggling to pull her hand from my tight grip.
I tugged on her hand, making her fall down onto the bed beside me before I rolled so that I was half hovering over her. “Anna, calm down! Jeez, let me explain, will you?” I pleaded desperately. She sighed and a muscle in her jaw twitched angrily as she narrowed her eyes but stopped struggling. Nerves were making me feel sick. “I’m not worried about your safety, well actually that’s not true, I’ll always be worried about your safety. But that’s not the reason I want to stay here.” I begged her with my eyes to hear me out before she had whatever panic attack she was going to have. One of her eyebrows rose in prompt, clearly not believing a word of what I was saying. I took a deep breath. Please God, please don’t let her freak out. “I want to stay here with you, I… I…” I stuttered. Wow, the words are hard to say when you didn’t know how they’re going to be received.
“What? Just spit it out!” she snapped angrily.
I fought a smile. I loved it when she was feisty. “I love you, Anna.” The anger faded from her face to be replaced by shock. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes widened as she looked at me. I nodded and smiled, watching it slowly sink in. “I’ve fallen so in love with you that it’s unreal. Honestly, I want to stay here with you because I love you more than anything in the world,” I explained, biting on the inside of my cheek, waiting for her to react.
It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders now that she finally knew how I felt. She was just staring at me like I had grown a second head, so I let go of her hands and pushed myself off her, sitting up on the bed next to her, feeling the panic brew inside me because her silence started to become deafening.
~ Anna ~
Stunned into silence was probably the phrase that would best describe me in that second. I had no words. Had he seriously just told me that he loved me? Me, messed up, damaged, broken Annabelle Spencer? Someone like Ashton couldn’t love me, could he? What on earth would he even see in me? Ashton was a player; he didn’t love girls… did he? My heart constricted. I wanted so badly for that to be true. I’d dreamt of him saying those words to me hundreds of times. Never, in any of my dreams, had they sounded so sweet.
He pushed himself up off me as he stared down at me, seeming to be gauging my reaction. His emerald green eyes were searching my face. They shone with tenderness and passion, and the sight of it made my heart ache. Could it be? Could someone as sweet, adorable, smart and funny, really want me?
My body seemed to belong to someone else, my limbs were not responding as I struggled to take in and believe his confession. It took a great deal of effort for me to push myself up to sitting too. His face was merely inches away from mine as his eyes narrowed, silently begging me to speak.
“You love me?” I whispered disbelievingly.
He nodded. “Yeah, I love you,” he confirmed. That was when I saw it in his eyes, the truth, the depth of his feelings, the devotion. Suddenly it all made sense, his actions, his attentiveness, his affection. He wanted me. A sad smile twitched at the corner of his full lips. “It’s okay; I know you’re scared to let me in, Anna. After what happened with Jack, I know you need time before you can make yourself vulnerable again. I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes,” he whispered, looking at me fiercely.
My heart melted into a puddle in my chest. My muscles seemed to unfreeze, so I bent forward and pressed my lips to his, knowing that nothing I could say would explain it better than that. He didn’t kiss me back though; he just stayed still as if shocked. When I pulled back, I looked up into his eyes, and I saw my whole future there.
“I love you too, Ashton,” I whispered. Air rushed out of his lungs, blowing across my face in one large burst. His eyes widened in shock as his whole body stiffened. “I’ve known it for a while but I didn’t really know how to deal with it, and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t think that you felt the same.”
He groaned, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against mine. “Really?”
I laughed nervously and nodded. “Yeah.”
His hands cupped around my face as he tilted my head slightly. His eyes met mine. “Let’s try this again then, huh?” he whispered. His lips brushed mine when he spoke and my skin prickled with excitement. “I love you,” he repeated, grinning.
I grinned. “I love you too,” I replied immediately, feeling my heart skip a beat.
His lips crashed against mine forcefully; kissing me so fiercely that it was like he was unleashing all of his passion in one go. My arms looped around his neck and we fell back into the pillows, not breaking the kiss. His love for me resonated through every cell in my body, overwhelming me, consuming me, owning me. When the kiss broke, I was breathless. His eyes glittered with excitement and joy as he grinned down at me.
“Sorry, I need to hear it again,” he stated, looking at me hopefully.
I giggled wickedly, tangling my hand into the back of his hair. “Wow, you’re needy.”
He laughed and kissed me again, making my world spin faster. Little kisses were planted across my cheek. “I love you, Annabelle Spencer,” he purred in my ear. My whole body tingled as I gripped his hips between my knees, pulling him closer, needing him closer. I pressed my hand against the small of his back, pinning him against me. There was no way I was letting go now.
“I love you so much, Ashton,” I promised. If he knew how much, I would be in serious trouble. I had a feeling he could do anything and I would still take him back. He had my heart; I just prayed he wouldn’t break it. He smiled and let out a victorious growl as he crashed his lips back to mine, kissing me fiercely, setting my whole body on fire. I needed him. I needed that closeness, that intimacy that I only ever had with him. “Make love to me,” I begged, running my hands down his back, clutching him closer to me.
Raw desire was almost killing me. He moaned and started to peel my clothes off, slowly, trailing his fingers over my body, making me shiver. I smiled against his lips, and he pulled back and smiled too, his green eyes shining with excitement and lust, and most importantly, love.
Everything was slow, tender, perfect. Every touch filled with love, need and want. It wasn’t sex, we were making love, and we both knew it. Everything was beautiful and all consuming. He completed me, this boy. He was my life and the very thing I needed. The passion brought tears to my eyes because it was so perfect. After, I held him close on top of me as we both struggled to breathe. I was exhausted, not just from the physical exertion but from the feeling and the emotions that went into it.
He loves me…
He was kissing my neck as I combed my finger through the back of his hair, smiling contentedly.
He loves me…He really loves me. I still couldn’t quite get my head around it.
After a few minutes he shifted off me, lying down at my side and brushing my hair from my sweaty forehead. He kissed me gently, just once, a soft, chaste kiss, before propping his head up on his elbow and just smiling down at me. Neither of us spoke, it was just the perfect moment, and I didn’t ever want it to end.
After an eternity of comfortable silence, he spoke, “I want to ask you something,” he whispered.
“Oh yeah, what’s that?” I asked, smiling, feeling happier than I had ever felt in my life.
“Will you be my girlfriend? Like, for real? Be with me, be mine,” he asked, looking at me hopefully.
Mine. That word had never had much meaning in it before, but hearing Ashton asking me to be ‘mine’, I knew I would never hear that word the same again. “Of course I will.”
“I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend in the world,” he replied, looking at me tenderly.
I had no doubt in my mind about that. “You already are.”
He smiled and kissed me again. “I love you, Baby Girl.”
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of those words from his mouth; they were the sexiest damn words in the history of the world. I could feel him starting to get aroused again against my thigh, and I felt the blush creep onto my cheeks. He was like some kind of machine.
“Well, I love you back,” I said playfully as I rolled him under me and kissed him, starting all over again.