Danny

He just wasn’t getting it and I was so afraid of him saying something to incriminate himself that I had to get him off of the phone before he did just that. Mack was never one to hide what he was doing, but he did now. I knew what it was and since my phone was tapped, I had to be careful what I said.

Then I got a call from the detectives because I wasn’t answering his calls and wasn’t cooperating. Now they were going to be mad because I told him that I wasn’t going to be able to see him. They wanted me to help them take him to jail, but I would never do that. I would rather never see Mack again then to let that happen. Mack meant too much to me and they had nothing on me. I wasn’t going to take my chances and see how it all worked out.

Mack was going to ruin it if he didn’t let us go. He had to stop calling and I hoped that he got the hint and stopped calling now. It wasn’t going to do any good because I wasn’t going to answer anymore. The feds could do what they wanted, because I knew that I had nothing to do with anything. My only crime was for loving the wrong man and since this had been my problem all along, I wasn’t going to worry about it all that much.

I tried to put it all behind me. I didn’t get another late night visit from the detectives, something I was extremely happy about, but at the same time the silence made me wonder. A couple of weeks went by and I missed Mack. I liked to think that he was off, living the great life that he had made for himself. I didn’t agree with how he had done it, but there were very few things that Mack could have done to make me think less of him.

Mariss asked about Mack a few times and I finally told her that we’d decided not to see each other anymore. I made it like he had rejected me so that she wouldn’t keep asking, but that bit me in the butt later when he showed up. It was good to see him, but at the same time I knew that my house was still wired up and he didn’t seem to take any hints at all.

“Now this is enough Danny. You’re going to talk to me if I have to stand here all day. I’m not going to let you keep ignoring this.”

I was shocked by the emotions in his voice and the way he looked at me. He had this look of need that I’d seen at the reunion and it was an expression that was hard to ignore. He wanted me right then in this raw, animalistic way that made me shiver inside.

“We don’t need to do this right now.”

I was heavily aware that Mariss was standing but a few feet from me. I could feel her eyes on me, most likely because I’d told her that he’d taken off. His words to me now were changing that and before long I wasn’t able to keep it together.

“This isn’t the place Mack.”

“Well where is the place? You won’t answer my calls and you just left it all hanging when I talked to you on the phone. Why are you fucking with me like this? You never were cruel before.”

I closed my eyes and hated the way he was looking at me now. He went from desire to pain and I didn’t want to see it. This was for his own good and I wished in a way that I could have explained it to him so he wouldn’t think such things. I needed to believe that something was going to happen, but I didn’t want to think about it too much.

“I’m not being cruel Mack. I just can’t do this right now.”

He wasn’t budging and I looked to Mariss to give us a minute. She was reluctant to leave, but finally did and I was able to focus on the man in front of me.

“Fine, but I want to hear the truth later.”

She grabbed her coat and told Mack that it was good to see him. She looked to me once, like she was silently telling me to be nice and I looked away. I didn’t tell her because of that reaction right there. It was always my fault.

Once the door shut, I turned my attention back to Mack and asked him if he wanted a seat and something to drink. I was going to have to make sure to steer the conversation away from that which could get him in trouble. Since he had never talked about it before with me, I hoped the trend stayed the same and we didn’t have to worry about it now.

But then of course, he wanted to launch into this confessional and he was becoming thick to any kind of hints on my end. It was frustrating to say the least because he truly didn’t seem to get the fact that he needed to shut his mouth. I hadn’t talked to the FBI in weeks, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t still listening and recording from various places in the house. I knew were a couple was, but like cockroaches I’m sure there were ten to every one I saw.

“I need to get some things off my chest Danny and I don’t know why you aren’t listening. You can at least hear me out. It’s the least that you can do.”

He was getting angry and I was running out of ideas how to get him to shut up. I decided that I was going to use a tactic that I knew he used on me quite a bit. He would deny it, but anytime I was saying something he didn’t want to hear, Mack would kiss me and make me forget pretty much everything that I was saying. It worked every time and I moved to kiss him. He was seating and it took his mouth a minute to realize what it was that I was doing.

Mack kissed me back and I was unprepared for the wave of need that ran through me. I should have known that I was going to be in trouble if I let him get his hands on me. It had worked so well for him before and quickly I was pulled into the kiss and how it made my body feel.

I was instantly yearning for more and hating myself the whole time. Even as he pulled me onto his lap, I knew that this wasn’t’ going to end well, not in the long run. In the long run, I was going to have to say goodbye again, but at the moment, all I could think about was how he was going to feel inside of me.

Not thinking about the ears in my house, I let him hike my skirt up and set me down on his lap, straddling him backwards. “I didn’t come here for this Danny. I really didn’t.”

I smiled at him and told him he was always here for this, whether he knew it or not. He belonged in me and I was going to enjoy our last chance together, even if he didn’t understand that it was. I did and that was enough.