Ryan woke with a mouth that felt like it was lined with dirty carpet, a thumping headache, a full bladder, and an annoyingly insistent erection. “Ugh.” He flopped onto his back and his elbow bumped a warm body beside him.

What the fuck?

Cranking his eyes open, Ryan looked at the person in his bed. Silky blond hair spread across the pillowcase, and for a split second Ryan thought he was in bed with a girl. But then the events of the previous night ground into place like rusty gears and Ryan’s heart thumped hard when he realised it was Johnny beside him. Beautiful, fascinating, Johnny with his devastating smile and ridiculously hot arse.

The need to piss finally drove Ryan to move. He got up as quietly as he could without jostling the bed, not wanting to deal with an awkward morning-after conversation until he’d had a chance to piss and brush his teeth because he’d clearly passed out without doing that last night. He must have been fairly drunk; the fruity stuff Johnny had been drinking had been strong.

In the bathroom, Ryan willed his dick to deflate enough so he could empty his bladder. That pressing need met, he looked at himself in the mirror. Jesus, he looked rough as fuck. His blue eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles underneath them. Rubbing his hands over his stubbled cheeks, he wrinkled his nose when he remembered he’d crashed out without washing after rimming and fingering Johnny the night before.

Eww.

But as Ryan turned on the tap and waited for the water to run hot, he was assaulted by a vivid visual memory of Johnny’s perfect little arse cheeks, spread wide by Ryan’s hands, and that pink hole just inviting Ryan to lick it. The thought of his tongue in Johnny’s arse made heat trickle through Ryan and his cock started to perk up again. God it had been amazing. Definitely one of the best hook ups Ryan had ever had. Good to know sex with a guy could be fun, even if it wasn’t something Ryan necessarily wanted to do again. He felt weird knowing that Johnny was still in his bed though. Ryan didn’t know what he’d been thinking last night when he’d told Johnny he could stay. Ryan never let hook ups sleep over. He’d walk a girl home rather than let her sleep in his bed, unless they were dating. He liked his space and his privacy and waking up next to some random you weren’t planning on seeing again was always awkward. When that person was a guy it was probably going to be a whole new level of awkward.

He washed his hands and face, and brushed his teeth before returning to his room. Johnny was still almost out of sight under the duvet apart from the tangle of blond hair on the pillow. Ryan deliberately pulled the door shut with a thud, hoping it would wake Johnny up.

Sure enough, Johnny groaned. Pushing the covers down a little, he lifted his head, and blinked sleepily at Ryan. “Oh, hey, Ryan,” he croaked.

At least he could remember Ryan’s name despite the alcohol. He was still unfairly hot considering he’d just woken up. Sure, he looked like he’d been dragged through a hedge backwards but it was a good look on him. With his messy hair falling in eyes that were rimmed with smudges of black eyeliner, he looked like a decadent rock star after a heavy night. As he sat up, the covers fell away and pale skin showed where the neck of his T-shirt dipped low.

A frisson of arousal made Ryan turn away and grab a pair of jeans to pull on. He’d been hoping Johnny’s charms would be diluted in the cold light of the morning, or that he would have fucked last night’s bi-curiosity out of his system.

Apparently neither of those things had happened.

“You got somewhere you need to be?” Johnny’s voice was casual.

“Um. Not particularly. I just don’t like lying around in bed once I’m awake. And I’m hungry.” That part was true at least. Ryan’s stomach growled at the thought of food. He usually liked to feed a hangover; it would settle his uneasy belly.

“I should probably get out of your hair then.” Ryan didn’t reply, keeping his back to Johnny as he heard the creak of the bed and the rustle of the duvet, then Johnny’s voice again asking, “What time is it?”

Ryan looked at his watch. “Nearly eleven.”

“Fuck. That late? You must have worn me out for me to have slept so long.”

Ryan turned just in time to see Johnny’s tight little arse in snug red boxers, the bright colour a surprising contrast to the rest of his clothes. Damn that’s hot. He hadn’t noticed Johnny’s underwear last night, but then Johnny had done most of the work, he recalled with a flash of guilt. Ryan had been a pretty selfish fuck. But Johnny had seemed to enjoy himself regardless.

Johnny pulled up his skinny black jeans, and Ryan looked away quickly, picking up a hoodie from the back of his desk chair to put on. Johnny carried on dressing in silence, sitting on the bed to pull on his boots and do up the laces.

Once they were both fully dressed, Ryan felt less vulnerable around Johnny. Not wanting to be a total arsehole, he said tentatively, “Do you want a cup of tea or coffee, or anything to eat?”

Johnny studied him for an uncomfortable moment before saying, “Nah, man. I’m just gonna head off.”

Ryan felt a rush of mingled regret and relief, as though he was letting something slip away that maybe he should try and hang on to.

It’s just a hook up, he told himself firmly. Don’t be ridiculous.

“Okay. Well… thanks. I guess,” he said awkwardly. “Last night was fun.”

“Yeah.” Johnny was still looking at him, and his cool grey gaze made Ryan feel hot and flustered. “You’re a good fuck. How do you feel about your little foray over the rainbow?” His lips curved in a teasing smile, but Ryan sensed a tension in the air as Johnny waited for his reply.

It was too soon for Ryan to answer that honestly even if he wanted to. He hadn’t had time to process it yet, so he went with being flippant. “Yeah, it was hot. Turns out it doesn’t make too much difference to me what junk comes with a nice arse as part of the package. And it’s always fun to try something new.”

Johnny snorted. “Another tick on your sexual bucket list?”

“Something like that.” Ryan tried to grin but it felt forced.

“I like to think of it as a public service I provide—although if I had a pound for every straight guy I’ve fucked I’d have enough to eat for a week I reckon.”

Ryan gave an awkward laugh. “Yeah, well. More of us are sexually flexible than we like to admit.”

“No shit.” Looking around the room, Johnny frowned. “Oh bollocks. I left my jacket next door last night. Okay. I’m gonna leave you to your sexual identity crisis. Thanks for the fuck.” He rounded the bed and stopped in front of Ryan. With Johnny in his boots and Ryan in bare feet, they were exactly the same height. Johnny put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, leaned in quickly, and brushed the barest of kisses on Ryan’s cheek. “See you around, maybe. Bye for now.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

Ryan stared dumbly at the door as it closed behind Johnny. His cheek tingled where Johnny’s lips had been.

As Ryan made his way downstairs, he wondered if his housemates had noticed that he’d disappeared with Johnny last night. The only people he knew for sure had seen them together were Ben and Sid. Ryan hadn’t exactly been subtle about his interest when they were dancing, though, and gossip had a habit of spreading fast among groups of friends.

It wasn’t that Ryan was ashamed of hooking up with Johnny. He preferred to keep his private life relatively private even when he was hooking up with girls. But if people knew he’d hooked up with a guy they’d make all sorts of assumptions about him that Ryan wasn’t comfortable with.

A burst of laughter from the kitchen made his skin crawl with paranoia. Were they talking about him?

Squaring his shoulders, Ryan walked into the kitchen and forced himself to look casual. Three of his five housemates were in there, Nadia was making toast, and Colin and James were vying for space at the hob. The smell of frying bacon and eggs was thick in the air and Ryan’s stomach clenched with hunger.

“Morning all,” he said breezily.

He was greeted by various hi’s and good mornings.

“Hey, Ryan,” Nadia said. “You didn’t stay at the party very late.”

“Yeah, I was tired,” Ryan said noncommittally. “Damn, that bacon smells good. Where’s mine?” He went up to lean over James’s shoulder to see four rashers sizzling in a sea of oil alongside an egg, while Colin was stirring baked beans in one pan and scrambling eggs in another.

“Fuck off and make your own.” James nudged him in the ribs to get him to back off.

“Harsh.” Ryan flicked his ear. “I’m sure you owe me from last weekend. Didn’t I make you cheese and onion toasties after the pub when you didn’t have any decent food in?”

“Hmm…. Yeah, okay. You can have two bits of bacon then, but this is all I’ve got, and I’m out of eggs. Make yourself useful and spread some marg on bread for sandwiches then. I forgot to do that first.”

Ryan busied himself with that, grateful for something to do.

“Hi, everyone,” Justine said, coming into the kitchen. She went straight to the kettle and switched it on. “Anyone need tea or coffee?”

“Tea please,” Ryan said, looking up from the bread.

Justine turned away, getting a couple of mugs out of a cupboard. “Nadia, did you pull that blond guy from the party last night?”

Ryan froze, knife stilling as he gripped it tight in his hand.

“What blond guy?” Nadia asked.

“That one you said was hot, the tall one with long hair.”

“Oh, God. No. I wish. I asked Ewan about him but apparently he’s gay so I didn’t even try. I think he left early anyway.”

“Did he crash here though? Because I met him on the landing when I came out of the bathroom.”

“When?” Nadia frowned.

“About five minutes ago.”

Deciding it was better to face this head-on, Ryan cleared his throat. Face flaming, he admitted, “Um. He slept in my room.”

Nadia’s eyes flew wide. “Oh my God, did you hook up with him?”

A few seconds ticked by, filled only with the sound of the kettle, the fan over the cooker, and the sizzle of bacon, as Ryan’s flatmates waited for his reply.

Ryan shrugged, trying to look casual but feeling about a million miles away from achieving it. “Yeah.”

Another pause.

James was the one to finally break the silence with a nervous chuckle. “You’re having a laugh.”

“No. I hooked up with him. Why, have you got a problem with that?” Ryan turned and met James’s gaze, raising his eyebrows.

“Not at all. I’m just… surprised that’s all. I didn’t think you swung that way.”

“I don’t. Well… I mean, I don’t usually. But one thing led to another, and I thought—why not?”

“A hole’s a hole I guess,” James said, then he snorted. “Assuming you weren’t the one on the receiving end.”

“No!” Ryan snapped, an unwelcome vision of him bending over for Johnny flashing into his consciousness. “No, I’m definitely not into that.”

“Good.” James went back to poking the bacon and flipped his egg over.

“Have you ever tried it?” Nadia asked. “And if not, then how would you know? My ex thought he wouldn’t like things up his arse, but I dared him to try and he ended up loving it.”

“Look, can we stop this conversation now please?” Ryan turned back to buttering the bread. “My arse is my business, and it’s strictly exit only, thank you very much. And my private life is my business too, so butt out.”

Colin snorted. “No pun intended.”

“So it was just a one-off then?” Nadia asked. “You and the hot blond—what’s his name anyway?”

“Johnny. And yes,” he said decisively. They hadn’t exchanged numbers or even hinted at a repeat performance, and that was probably for the best. Ryan didn’t have time for complications in his life with his finals approaching.

“And is he definitely gay, not bi?” A shred of hope crept into Nadia’s voice.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him.”

“Hmm… maybe I should see if I can get more information from the guys next door.”

“Yeah, Ben would know.” Irked at Nadia’s interest in Johnny, Ryan was desperate to get off the topic now. “That bacon nearly done, James?”

“Yes. It’s ready.” James turned off the pan and they assembled their sandwiches.

The conversation between the others turned to someone who had fallen over drunk and twisted their ankle at the party last night, and Ryan was glad he was no longer the focus of the gossip.

That evening, Ryan had given up on studying and was searching for male models on Pinterest—for science. He wanted to see whether he fancied men in general, or Johnny specifically. A little bit of research confirmed that hooking up with Johnny last night had unlocked something for sure. After years of not thinking about guys in a sexual way, Ryan found that he did find some men attractive, but only a very specific type. The more androgynous-looking the better and he definitely had a thing for blonds.

He was trying to decide how he felt about this development when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

Quickly switching tabs on his browser, before spinning around on his desk chair, Ryan said, “Yeah?”

It was Ewan. “Hi. Can I come in?”

Ryan didn’t know why Ewan bothered asking, because he was already closing the door behind him. “Sure. What’s up?” He was fairly sure he knew what was up, but he wanted Ewan to ask rather than him volunteer the information. Ewan flopped down on Ryan’s bed, propping himself up on the pillows. “Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks.” Ewan grinned. “So. You and Johnny. What’s going on there?”

Ryan sighed. “Who told you?”

“Straight from the horse’s mouth, mate.”

“What? Johnny told you? Fuck’s sake.” Ryan knew he’d gone next door that morning to get his jacket. But he didn’t think Johnny would have dropped him in it. He knew it was Ryan’s first time with a guy, and although Ryan hadn’t asked him to be discreet… well. He didn’t think he’d have to spell it out.

“No. To be fair, he didn’t actually tell us. His exact words were that he doesn’t kiss and tell. But Sid had seen him with you, and Johnny didn’t deny it after that.”

“Oh.” Mollified, Ryan relaxed a little. The cat was already out of the bag after the conversation in the kitchen earlier, so it didn’t really make much difference if Ewan and the guys next door knew too.

“So… back to my original question. What’s going on with you and Johnny?” Ewan crossed his arms over his chest and waited expectantly.

“Nothing. I mean… yeah, we hooked up, but that’s all. I doubt I’ll be seeing him again—not like that anyway.”

“Just a one-off then?”

“I assume so.”

“But that was a first for you, no? With another guy I mean?”

“Yes.”

“Are you freaking out?” Ewan narrowed his eyes.

Ryan shrugged, thinking about the models he’d been looking at on Pinterest. Did that count as freaking out? He still wasn’t sure what difference it made. Just because he thought girly-looking guys were sometimes hot didn’t mean much. It wasn’t exactly a game-changer as far as his life plan was concerned. Ryan had always assumed he’d eventually find a woman he liked enough to settle down with, and would get married and have two-point-four kids, and maybe a dog. Dogs were cool. Having a vague interest in femme men didn’t mean a rethink. If he wanted, he could fuck that out of his system before he settled down, and after that, there was always porn.

“Ryan?”

Ewan’s voice snapped Ryan back to the present away from his imaginary future. He realised he’d picked at a bit of skin by his thumbnail so much it was bleeding, and he still hadn’t answered Ewan’s question.

“Yeah. I guess I’m freaking out a little bit,” Ryan admitted. He put his thumb in his mouth to suck the blood off, avoiding Ewan’s gaze.

“Did you enjoy it? Whatever you did with Johnny?”

“I fucked him,” Ryan said bluntly, not wanting Ewan to think it had been the other way around. “And yeah. It was….” He considered for a moment. Amazing, disturbing, worryingly hot. “Good,” he finished lamely. “I just don’t know what to think about it now. I mean, I like girls. I’ve always liked girls. So I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did.”

“Look,” Ewan said firmly. “One experience of gay sex doesn’t make you gay. It’s not what you do with your dick that determines your sexuality; it’s what you want to do with it that matters. So if you want to fuck guys as well as girls now, well maybe you’re bi. And if you are? Well, it’s not a huge deal is it? Not in this day and age. So don’t stress about it. If it’s something you want to explore further then you can, and if not—move on and chalk it up to experience.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Ryan gave Ewan a small smile. “Cheers, mate.” Then he chuckled. “Look at you talking sense for once.”

“Wow. Hurtful.” Ewan clutched his chest in mock distress.

“Nah, seriously. Thanks for the pep talk.”

Ewan got up and punched Ryan lightly on the shoulder. “You’re welcome, man. It’s what gay BFFs are for. I’ll leave you to your work now. I hope it helped.”

“Yeah, it did.”

Ewan closed the door as he left, and Ryan leaned back in his desk chair and re-opened the tab with the blond male models. None of them were as hot as Johnny anyway.

Move on and chalk it up to experience.

That sounded like a plan. How hard could it be?