I was tending to the garden in the back when I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I straightened my back, wiping the sweat from my brow. I had spent the entire day in the garden, finally tackling the weeds that threatened to overwhelm my prized roses. Back when I was still married, the rose garden had been one of my favorite hobbies. I would grab my wide-brimmed hat and my trowel, and I would spend all day outside.
Roxie would play in the backyard, chasing butterflies or simply rolling around in the grass until her fur was dyed green. Those days had seemed perfect.
Now, I was all alone and it felt bittersweet. Even my roses seemed to be suffering, their usually bright red color fading with a sickness I couldn’t treat.
At the sound of a car door closing, I got up. As I crossed the kitchen, the doorbell rang. I tossed my dirty gloves in the sink and took off my hat. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I opened the door. To my surprise, David was standing there, wearing his old leather jacket – the one I had told him to get rid of years ago. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, my fingers tightening around the doorknob.
“May I come in?” He asked.
“No, just tell me what you want.” I didn’t need this man back in my life.
“I just wanted to talk to you. I know the divorce didn’t go very smoothly, but that’s no reason for us to hate each other.”
“Are you kidding me right now? Leave.” I was about to slam the door in his face when he stuck his hand out.
“Amanda, stop being so stubborn.” He pushed past me and sat down on the couch. “Why don’t you get me a beer so we can talk like civilized people?”
“Why don’t you get your own damn beer?” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. “You haven’t changed one bit.”
He rolled his eyes. “Now I know why I cheated on you.” He mumbled under his breath before he walked into the kitchen.
The comment made me angry, but at the same time, very insecure. So I had been the reason we broke up after all? I bit my lip, not sure whether to be angry at David or myself. I started to wonder if there was something I could have done to salvage our marriage. Guilt wrapped around my chest, threatening to squeeze my lungs until they popped. Had I been a bad wife? Had I driven him to infidelity?
When he came back to the living room, I was overwhelmed with a flurry of different emotions. “Where’s that new boyfriend of yours? I heard you two had quite the fight at the party.” He snickered, taking a swig of his beer. “I could’ve told him to stop wasting his time with you.”
I ground my teeth at his remark. “Did you come here to talk about something or are you just going to insult me?”
“Calm down, calm down. I just dropped by because I figured I owe you an apology.”
I narrowed my eyes in his direction, growing suspicious. David never apologized.
“I have to admit that I wasn’t the best husband. I should’ve talked to you instead of sneaking behind your back. You didn’t deserve to go through that.” He said, his voice low like he was being sincere.
Slowly, he leaned forward, placing his bottle on the table. “Do you really mean that…?” I asked, a little uncertain, but the thought of making amends with the man I once loved was all too tempting. I didn’t want to live the depressed little life I currently had. Maybe, if David and I could make up, then everything would go back to the way it was before…
“Absolutely.” He sat down beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “I miss you. Now, why don’t we go to dinner tonight, like the good old times? We can enjoy some good food, some fine wine, and talk like adults.”
I bit the inside of my lip at his offer, studying his face, trying to determine whether this was some kind of a trick or if he genuinely wanted to make things right. “You’re not trying to trick me or anything, are you?”
“Of course not. Why would I do that?” He smiled, flashing a set of pearly whites. “I still care about you, Amanda, that’ll never change.” He rested his hand on my thigh. His touch nearly made me cringe, but at the same time, I was desperate for a sense of normalcy in my life once more. I wanted this to work, even though, deep down, I knew it never could.
***
The restaurant we went to was new. “I’ve never been here before,” I said, just trying to make small talk after our awkward car ride. We didn’t exactly have much to talk about. So, we spent most of our time listening to David’s horrible CDs, filled with low-quality country music. I hated country music.
“Yeah.” He shrugged, letting the door slam in my face.
Now that we were divorced, it was as if all his little habits that I used to ignore while we were married, were intensified tenfold, making me hate him just a little bit more. I started to wonder why I had agreed to this in the first place. Was I really that desperate?
At the table, David hid his face behind the menu. “Go easy on what you order. I’m not here to spend a fortune on my ex-wife.”
“What’s your problem? You ask me to dinner and then you treat me like crap. If I knew you were going to be like this, I would’ve never agreed to come.”
He placed the menu down and leaned forward. “Look, sweet cheeks. We both know that things between us will never work out.”
“I don’t know why I married you in the first place. It’s obvious that you’re nothing more than a jerk.”
He stared at me, his hands turning into fists. “I’m just going to ignore that comment and be the better person here.”
“Ha. You, the better person? Don’t make me laugh.”
The waitress arrived and stood there, noting the hostility between us. “Uh… hi… my name is Harmony. I’ll be your waitress tonight. Can I start you off with a drink?”
“I’ll have a water,” David answered in a gruff tone of voice.
“I’ll have a Margarita. Salt the rim for me, please.”
“Coming right up.”
David waited for the waitress to walk away before he grabbed my wrist, tightening his fingers so hard that I thought I was going to bruise. “Hey! Let me go!” I said, raising my voice.
He let go, slumping back into his seat. “Why the hell did you do that? I told you not to pick anything expensive. You’ve always had it out for my money, haven’t you?”
I laughed. “If I was really after your money, I would’ve taken you to court for all the alimony you still owe me. Speaking of which, I still haven’t seen a dime since the divorce.”
“Always hounding me for alimony and then you say you’re not a gold digger…”
“I didn’t come here so you can keep insulting me.”
“Then tell me, why did you come here?” He asked, his sharp jaw jutting in my direction. “What did you expect?”
I hesitated, fidgeting with the tablecloth in my lap. “I just thought that maybe, we would finally be able to handle things like two grown adults instead of bickering back and forth, but I guess we’ll never really get past that phase, will we?”
“Well, I’m not the one being a spoiled brat, begging for money.”
“Please, you’ll never see me beg you for anything.” I was quickly getting irritated at this point. The small flicker of hope that I had back at the house had been snuffed and now, all I wanted to do was reach across the table and strangle this man. Yet, I couldn’t quite bring myself to lash out at him.
“Then stop asking me for alimony. It’s not like you need the money.”
“Did you forget that we still have twenty years left on our mortgage? I don’t make half the money you do. Sure, I could survive for a while, selling off some of the stuff around the house, but the judge said I deserve to maintain the same lifestyle I had while we were married. So tough luck, but you’re just going to have to pay me.”
“You can choke on a –“
He was cut off by the arrival of the waitress with our drinks. “Do you know what you would like to order?”
“Yeah… I want the…” I browsed the menu quickly. “The lobster.” It was the most expensive item on there.