i lay there in hannah’s bed, one arm behind my head, the other wrapped securely around her. I wasn’t sure I even went to sleep. Absentmindedly, I stroked her bare back as I stared up at the ceiling.
It was amazing how much things had changed already. There were no words to describe how I was feeling. Confused, content, worried, happy, sad, guilty, and a million other emotions all rolled into one.
I sighed quietly, not wanting to wake Hannah from where she lay on chest, her legs tangled with mine. Last night had been amazing. Hannah was everything I imagined she would be and more. After the initial awkwardness we felt when I first arrived, things began to flow just as easily as they had before. Maybe even better.
But she wasn’t Amy.
I felt extremely guilty about my train of thought the entire time I was with Hannah.
I didn’t come over here with the intent of taking her to bed. I wanted to talk about everything and finally work it all out with her. In a way, I’d say that’s what we did anyhow. I knew she was happy about it, and I couldn’t say I wasn’t happy. It was just confusing.
Stroking her back, I smiled down at her as she slept peacefully on my chest. The sheet was pulled up just enough to cover us from the waist down. Should Erica walk in, Hannah was hiding her breasts from the world against me.
I came here knowing I needed to be with Hannah. A relationship. Not necessarily sex.
I came here mostly for Amy, but once I was here, things changed. While I still wanting to be with Amy, I realized I did want to genuinely be with Hannah as well. It all just happened so fast.
When I was finally able to push Amy out of my mind, no matter how brief, everything I ever felt for Hannah came back full force. I could forgive all the fights and arguments we’d been having lately. Hell, I could forget them. It was just me and her, both willing to give this a try.
One thing led to another, and, well, it kept leading to another. A few times, actually. I was impressed and a little intimidated.
I knew Hannah was sexually active even before finding out about her and that asshole, Justin, just recently. Just because I knew it didn’t mean I wanted to think about it. I wanted to keep thinking she was innocent little Hannah that I’ve known my whole life. That wasn’t to say I didn’t fantasize about her from time to time. Okay, a lot.
When I kissed her last night, my whole body felt like it was on fire with desire. It was incredible and frightening at the same time. I wouldn’t say I wanted Hannah more than I did Amy, but it was different. Almost familiar. Which scared me because Hannah and I hadn’t so much as seen each other naked before.
Okay, there was that one time when she was really drunk and changed her clothes in front of me, but she didn’t remember that. Of course, I didn’t tell her. I didn’t want to embarrass her.
On impulse, I leaned down and pressed my lips gently to her forehead. Her lips turned up in her sleep. Could this have been our life all along had we just admitted our feelings? There was still a lot of talking to do, but the sex was pretty incredible. I couldn’t deny it.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked a few times like she wasn’t sure where she was or who she was with. I chuckled a little. I knew the feeling. It still seemed a little surreal.
“Good morning,” I said with a slight smirk.
“Morning,” she replied, bushing before scrunching up her face in confusion. “Is this real life?”
I blinked and laughed loudly, letting my head relax on the pillow. I brought my arm from behind my head and threw it over my eyes. I could practically feel her glare, which only made me laugh harder. My laugh died down when she pulled my arm from my face, and I looked up at her serious expression.
“I’m sorry. I guess I was just expecting a different reaction this morning,” I said.
She returned my grin. “Well, forgive me for thinking this might be a dream.”
She buried her face in my chest after she said it. Her reaction made me think that maybe she had dreamt about this before.
“Hey,” I said quietly, running my fingers through her hair. “I asked myself that question when I first woke up too.”
She looked up, and I stared into her big green eyes. At that moment, I’d have done anything to see her happy. She’d had that effect on me my entire life without even realizing it. Now that I knew how she felt, it was intensified.
“That makes me happy.” She leaned down and kissed my chest right over my heart.
I cupped her face in my hand and brought her lips to mine in a soft kiss. Her quiet moan did nothing to help me get rid of my morning wood. Her lips moved in perfect sync with mine, and I almost flipped her on her back to take her again. But we had a lot of things to talk about, and it wasn’t getting done in bed.
“Let’s get dressed. I’ll make you breakfast,” I said as I pulled away.
“Well…” She bit her lip and gave me one of the sweetest yet sexiest looks I’d ever seen from her. “I was kind of hoping…”
I sucked in a breath as her hand found my growing cock under the sheet, only solidifying her point for her.
I did what just about every man would do in my position. I smirked and rolled her onto her back and gave her exactly what she wanted.
after another couple of hours in bed, I finally put my foot down. “Okay, enough is enough.” Hannah looked at me a little confused. “I am not a piece of meat for you to use for your pleasure whenever the heck you want.” I stated as serious as I could.
Hannah busted out in laughter, covering her mouth with her hand for a moment. “Oh, is that so?” She said when she moved her hand away.
“Yes. I’m not going to let you objectify me anymore!” I dramatically got out of bed and stomped to the bathroom. I could hear Hannah’s laugh from where she still laid in bed.
We were already so comfortable with each other that getting dressed together didn’t seem like a big deal. I enjoyed watching her dress if only to see the way her body moved as she wiggled into her favorite pair of jeans or the way she stretched to pull her shirt over her head. I was about to let her objectify me all she wanted when she turned to smirk at me.
“Come on. You promised me breakfast.” She held out her hand to me after I put my glasses on.
I grinned as I took it and let her lead me into the kitchen. “Breakfast was over an hour ago.”
“Fine,” she whined dramatically. “Want to order something for lunch?”
“Sure.”
She grabbed her phone and made the call while I went to the refrigerator for something the drink. I groaned when I opened the door and saw nothing but pop and alcohol. I sighed and turned back to her with a grin, and she shrugged. I shook my head and got a glass from the cabinet to fill with water from the faucet. I swear these girls lived on junk food and take out.
I turned to watch her as she ordered our food and grinned when I heard her ordering me an Italian sub. She must have called Pete’s Pizza. Their subs were my favorite, though I didn’t eat them often. Hannah and I knew each other so well that we never really had to ask what the other wanted, but I didn’t realize how much it really meant to me until someone else did it. Amy had been getting to that point before we broke up.
Fuck. I didn’t want to think about Amy right now.
“It’ll be here in twenty minutes,” she said as she laid her phone down on the counter.
“Perfect.” I sat my glass down and grabbed her hand to lead her into the living room.
Her grin was adorable. She probably assumed I was using this time to get a little more intimate with her, and I probably would have if we didn’t have bigger things to discuss.
“I think we need to talk.”
She sat down on the couch next to me with a frown, which I tried to ease with my palm against her cheek. She did smile a little, and I grabbed her hands in mine.
This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. All these years of being so comfortable with Hannah and I couldn’t find the words I wanted to say. There was so much I needed to get out, but my mind suddenly went into overdrive, and it was hard to straighten my thoughts.
She was chewing on the inside of her cheek nervously. I could tell she was thinking the worst, probably that I’d just had sex with her numerous times and decided I didn’t want to be with her. After everything she’d been through lately, I couldn’t blame her doubts, and the look on her face just screamed that she was doubting us right now.
“I’ve thought a lot about what happened,” I began and then stopped.
The guilt was still there. The fact that it was Amy who got me thinking about Hannah like this at all would crush Hannah’s spirit even more. Yes, it was Amy who initiated it, but I truly felt something for Hannah. It wasn’t because we’d just had sex. That intimacy was that much stronger between us considering how strongly we felt about one another. It was incredible.
“Hannah.” I squeezed her hands. I wanted to ease her nerves. “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I kissed you.”
She gasped at my words. She knew I didn’t mean our kiss from yesterday.
“But when I kissed you…” she started.
I shook my head to cut her off. “I didn’t know what to do, Hannah. I was confused, and I didn’t want to betray Amy.” I cringed. I felt like I was betraying her in a way.
Hannah blinked a couple times, like she was fighting back tears as she looked down at the mention of Amy as well, making me wish I hadn’t. This needed to be about me and Hannah, not Amy. But I couldn’t lie to her about how I’d felt, just like I didn’t lie to Amy about my feelings for Hannah.
“I’m such an awful person.” She fought back a sob, trying to pull her hands from mine. I wouldn’t let her. “I wasn’t even thinking about Amy. There are a lot of things I did where I didn’t consider Amy’s feelings at all. How could you still want me?”
“I want to say I understand, and maybe I would if the roles were reversed, but that’s why I was confused. Hannah, I thought you were just upset about Justin and needed that… contact.” I sighed, not wanting to hurt her. By the look on her face, I knew I wasn’t succeeding. “I thought you might have been trying to piss Amy off, you know, given everything that happened when you were around her.”
Hannah stared at our hands. I caressed her hands with my thumbs. There was still so much to say, so much that I know she needed to say too. It honestly felt like this conversation would never end.
“I can see where you thought that,” she finally said, her tear-filled eyes staring into mine. “Marcus, I am so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, Hannah.” I grinned, hoping to break some of the tension. “We’ll get through this. We always do.”
She giggled a little through her silent tears. “Yeah, but this is different now.”
“True,” I said as I pulled her hands so she’d meet me halfway as I leaned toward her. “But it’s a good different, don’t you think?”
She brushed her lips against mine, and whispered her agreement. It was amazing how easy this seemed to come to the both of us. I expected some resistance and a whole lot of awkwardness, but as of now, it was easy.
I just hoped it stayed that way.