i couldn’t believe the change in Marcus. Lately, he’d been acting as if he didn’t want me around or at the very least like he wanted a little space. I had talked myself into giving it to him, and then I found out I was pregnant. I was sure that was the top reason to avoid your already clingy girlfriend, wasn’t it?
But that wasn’t what was happening now.
He was so attentive, so worried about every little thing I did. We’d sat on the couch and talked. I even cried a little more, but eventually, Marcus seemed happy. I knew this wasn’t in his plans for his life yet, especially since we’d just gotten together. Even though it had only been a couple of weeks, it felt right. Marcus and I would be okay. Who better to have a child with than your best friend and love of your life?
I’d even woken up this morning to Marcus laying his head on my chest, rubbing my belly lightly with his fingertips. I’d cried at the sight. It was beautiful. The longer I sat there watching, the more I could hear his murmuring. He had been talking to the baby. Our baby.
I never thought I could love someone more.
Marcus’ change was great for us. Everyone talks about the pregnancy glow mothers get once, but it wasn’t me who was glowing. The longer we let the information sink in, the happier he seemed to get. It was his reaction that was causing my supposed glow.
“Are you hungry?” he asked me for the hundredth time today as I sat on the couch with my feet propped up no less.
As much as the question was getting on my nerves, I smiled. He was trying, and I couldn’t be mad at him for that.
“No, Marcus. I’m fine.” I patted the cushion next to me. “Come sit down. You’re making me nervous.”
With a sigh, he came over to sit next to me, taking my hand in his. He looked even more worried than he had last night. He closed his eyes and laid his head on the back of the couch. I didn’t want to push him, but my curiosity was getting the better of me. He beat me to it, though.
“What if I’m a bad father?” he finally asked. “What if I’m not ready for this?”
Frowning, I sat on my knees so I could face him. He never lifted his head and, surprisingly, didn’t tell me to keep my feet propped up. I rubbed his arm with my hand.
“You said last night that we’d get through this together. That we would figure it out,” I started, pulling his hand from where it laid on his lap to place it on my stomach. “That’s the best we can hope for. Neither of us knows what we’re doing, but one thing I do know is that there is no way you could be a bad father.”
He lifted his head now, making me smile a little wider. “How can you tell?” he asked, looking and sounding younger than he really was.
“You had a great role model growing up.”
He smiled at that.
One thing for sure, Marcus was very privileged in the parentage department. It was my mom and I until I was five. Then she met my stepdad, and we moved next door to Marcus. He’d had always had his parents, and I’d never seen two people love each other more than Ken and Myra. I’d never seen anyone love their child more than they did, either.
Marcus leaned forward, cupped my cheek, and pressed his lips gently to mine. As perfect as the last two weeks had been, in this moment, everything felt right. More than perfect. We didn’t know what we were doing, but we would figure it out.
I opened my mouth, accepting his tongue and wrapping my arms around his neck. Effortlessly, he lifted me onto his lap so I was straddling him. I pressed myself against his chest. His heart matched mine, both beating wildly.
All the sudden, he pulled back with a groan, keeping his forehead against mine.
“I don’t think it seems real yet,” he admitted.
“It will soon enough,” I started, cutting myself off by keeping my mouth on his. “Especially when I get fat.”
He grinned against my lips. “You won’t be fat. You’ll be all belly. All baby.”
“Well, even if I did get fat, there’s another good thing that came from this,” I said with a smirk, pulling his lip between my teeth playfully.
He moved back, raising his brows at me. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“You can’t make me go to the gym now.”
He laughed. “We’ll see,” he smirked. “I’ve seen plenty of pregnant women working out. Even trained some of them.”
The evil glint in his eye made me groan. “You wouldn’t make me, though,” I observed with a little whine in my voice.
He just grinned at me. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”
I sighed, leaning back away from him, narrowing my eyes playfully.
“Too bad I’ve already done some research.” He furrowed his brows with a nervous chuckle.
“What kind of research?”
“The kind that says if you weren’t very active before the pregnancy, you shouldn’t overexert yourself.”
I smirked, satisfied I might have gotten through to him.
He just scoffed. “I don’t believe that. We’ll just have to ask the doctor tomorrow and see who’s right.” He gave me a smug look that said he knew he’d win.
I wasn’t so sure.
Our first doctor’s appointment was tomorrow. It wasn’t with the OB/GYN yet, just at the clinic for the pregnancy confirmation. We were excited either way. It didn’t matter how many home pregnancy tests a woman took at home, the one from the doctor was the real deal.
Marcus had already called his boss and taken the morning off so he could go with me. He didn’t tell him why. Marcus was a little paranoid, I guessed. He didn’t want to tell anyone until he knew for sure. I couldn’t blame him.
He’d told me about the conversation with his mother. She was shocked about us, but he assured me that his parents were happy. It would make her a nervous wreck to hear about us having a baby when she just found out we were together. That news could wait until later.
“I’m nervous about tomorrow,” I admitted to Marcus when we grew quiet. He was back to rubbing my belly with my hand on top of his.
“You shouldn’t be.”
What if the tests were wrong? What if I wasn’t really pregnant? Would things be awkward for us? I was so sure Marcus was going to leave me, and he had surprised me by taking the bull by the horns. Would he stick by me if we weren’t having a baby?
I tried not to stress about it too much. I’d read somewhere that stress was bad for the baby, especially in the first trimester. I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize our baby. I hadn’t even had caffeine since I took the test. Marcus would be proud of me.
waiting. i hated waiting, especially at the doctor’s office. I never understood why they called you back just so you could wait some more in the exam room. It was called the waiting room for a reason.
Since I had Marcus with me, I couldn’t complain about being lonely. I was just really nervous. I sat on the exam table, and he sat beside me in a chair, our hands joined in my lap. My knee wouldn’t stop bouncing no matter how many times Marcus tried to stop it with his hand. His legs bounced a few times too. He was clearly nervous and was putting on a brave front for me.
We’d been here for over an hour. Really, how long does it take to check for pregnancy?
Now, we were waiting on the results from a pee test. I’d thought they’d do a blood test, but maybe that was for extreme measures. I didn’t know much about any of this. I never had any close friends who had kids or anything. Other than the browsing the internet the last few days, I was going into this blind.
Finally, the nurse practitioner walked in with a smile on her face.
“Good morning, Hannah. I’m Allie. How’re we doing today?” She was young and pretty with her blond curls pulled back into a bun. She wore minimal make-up, which made me like her almost instantly. I couldn’t stand women who felt the need to doll themselves up for work, especially when their job had some not-so-pleasant qualities.
“Good.” I looked at Marcus to see him smiling at me, calming my nerves, before looking back at her. “We’re good.”
“Great.” She kept smiling as she pulled up the stool to sit in front of me with my paperwork in her hand. “All right, so…” she started, flipping through the papers, “you came in today for a pregnancy confirmation, yes?”
I nodded, though I knew she wasn’t really asking.
“Congratulations, Mama.” She said the same words Erica had after she saw my home test results, a huge smile on her face now. “Papa.” She winked at Marcus, and I was surprised when I didn’t feel a stab of jealousy. I knew she wasn’t flirting, just being friendly.
“Wow,” I said as I let out a breath.
Marcus squeezed my hand, drawing my attention to him. He looked at me with so much adoration any doubt I’d had before about whether we were cut out for this or not was shot out of the window. Marcus was going to be a great father. Because of that, I knew I’d at least be an okay mother.
“We’re going to be parents,” he whispered, almost like he still didn’t believe it.
“I’ve put together some pamphlets for you both about all the new things you’re going to be going through,” Allie said.
“Thank you.” I took the stack of pamphlets she offered and skimmed through them. The one on healthy eating made me mentally cringe. Marcus would he happy about that one.
“Based on the estimated start date of your last menstrual cycle, we’re estimating about four weeks and three days along. That would make your estimated due date August seventh,” Allie told us.
I looked back at Marcus. I still couldn’t believe this was real.
“Once you can get in for an ultrasound, they’ll have a better idea of how far along since you weren’t a hundred percent on your menstrual cycle.” She smiled. “They can’t really see the baby or hear its heartbeat until eight weeks usually. Do you have an OB in mind you’d like to see?”
I looked down at Marcus, and he shrugged with a confused look on his face.
“Not really,” I said, shrugging myself.
“Okay. No problem. We can make you an appointment with someone who’s available as close to eight weeks as we can get for you.” She made a note in my file and then closed it before standing. “Congratulations to you both. You can stop by the front desk and they’ll make the appointment for you. Have a good day.” She smiled, shook both of our hands, and left the room.
I thought I was going to cry. My hand instantly went to my stomach.
Marcus stood, frowning down at me. “Are you okay? Are you hurting?”
I shook my head, not trusting my voice. I was very emotional, and I just hoped I could blame the pregnancy. That was really all we needed, for me to be more emotional than usual.
I stood, gathering all my pamphlets and shoving them in my purse before facing him. “I’m fine. I guess I’m the one in shock now.” I grinned up at him.
He laughed lightly. “You’ve had more time to deal with this. You can’t freak out now.” He leaned down to kiss me, still smiling against my lips. “Besides, if you’re freaking out, who’s going to help me?”