i rolled over in my bed and blinked my eyes open when I felt someone next to me. I furrowed my brow in confusion when I saw little Natalie, my four-year-old niece, sleeping peacefully beside me. She definitely wasn’t there when I lay down after work. I may have been a little out of it but not that much. The fact that she was here now wasn’t a good sign. It could only mean my sister couldn’t be bothered to keep them today, apparently.
I mentally groaned and tried to quietly sneak out of bed. I had no idea what time it was, but she needed her sleep, or we’d all be grumpy. I risked waking her by scooting her to the center of the bed for safe measure. She didn’t move much in her sleep, but my luck, today would be the day she did, and she’d fall out of bed.
I walked into the kitchen to see my mom at the stove making dinner. The smell was amazing, as always. I could smell the chicken from the oven and the potatoes she was frying in the skillet. The clock read seven-thirty.
She turned and gave me a sad smile. Whatever she was going to say was something I wouldn’t want to hear.
“Hey,” I said as I went to get me a glass of water.
She stepped out of the way and went to sit at the kitchen table. “Sorry about your roommate.”
I got a couple of ice cubes from the freezer, sighed, and came to sit beside her. “I don’t mind that she’s here. I mind the reason why.”
My sister, Alisha, was three years older than me. She and I were so completely different. If we didn’t look almost like twins, you’d never guess we were related. She was the definition of rebel child, where I was a little more practical. Sure, I had my moments of bad judgment, but who didn’t? Alisha, however, did everything she knew she shouldn’t, just to prove that she could.
Her whoring herself around in school was only the tip of her self-destructive iceberg. I loved my sister dearly, but I didn’t like her. After she dropped out of high school, she followed some guy around the country who was trying to make a name for himself in the music business. He was awful, and I’m not just talking about his music. She eventually got hooked on all sorts of drugs, thanks to him. After a couple of years, got pregnant at nineteen with Andrew.
That was the only reason she came back. She was pregnant and scared. She didn’t even know who his father was, though she was still technically dating the musician. Once she had Andrew, she split again and let my mom take care of him. Poor guy was in the hospital for about a month while they tried to regulate his system. With all the drugs in her system, he was born with the addiction too and had to be weaned. It was so heartbreaking. I was still in high school, but I can remember how hard that was for my mom. I never forgave Alisha for not only putting her child in that kind of danger and then bailing, but for her putting my mother through all the medical bills and then raising her grandson.
She came and went for a couple of years and then finally took Andrew back when he was about five. She had left the musician and was living somewhere in the city, though she never really elaborated. I never asked because I was afraid of her answer. Mom, more or less, had temporary custody of him so she got him on the weekends like clockwork.
Then Alisha found out she was pregnant again.
Mom’s conditions for helping her was she was to get clean before she had this baby. It worked for a little while. Alisha moved back in with Mom after she had Natalie, and things seemed to be going well. I was living in the city at that time and wasn’t around as much, but it was definitely nice to have her home, clean, and wanting to be a good mother.
It didn’t last though. Within the last year, Alisha relapsed, and Mom had the kids a lot. She was working part-time at a grocery store and was on the verge of losing her job because of having to call in when my sister would just drop them off with no warning.
That’s when I decided to move home.
My ex-boyfriend Josh had dumped me and left me to fend for myself in his huge apartment that I couldn’t afford the rent to by myself. I stuck it out for as long as I could and was looking for a smaller place when I realized Mom really needed the help.
I was taking two night classes a week so I got a job at the gym to help out a little more. It worked out because my mom worked evenings at the grocery store. If Alisha dropped the kids off, one of us would usually always be home.
The last month or so, Alisha had been dropping them off less and less. Mom worried she was subjecting them to her drug use and couldn’t be bothered to get them out before she got high. I’d like to think she was trying to be a better mother and maybe stop using Mom like she was, but if the past was any indication of how she was, that wasn’t likely.
Mom and I sat in a slightly uncomfortable silence when Andrew came in, rubbing his eyes. I grinned at the sight of him. Nine years old going on thirty. He was too grown up for his own good. He did more than she did most of the time when it came to taking care of Natalie. He’d shown it plenty of times while they were here.
“Hey there, Squirt,” I grinned, which earned one back from him.
These kids meant the world to me. I’d do anything for them. They might as well have been mine from all the times they were with me. God knows I’ve taken care of them better than Alisha.
“Hi, Aunt Amy. Hi, Mam,” he greeted us quietly as he sat down.
“Hey, sweetheart,” my mom said with a smile as she stood up. “Are you hungry?”
He nodded, and she went back to making dinner for us.
I hadn’t asked Mom what happened to Alisha for her to have dropped them off this afternoon, and quite frankly, I didn’t really care. As long as they were here and safe, it didn’t really matter.
“It’s supposed to be nice this weekend, Andrew. Want to go to the playground?” I asked him.
He just shrugged.
He had his moments, like I figured he was having now, when he felt too old for ‘kid’ stuff like the playground or even some video games. I hated that my sister deprived him of the childhood he deserved. Luckily, the more time he spent here, the more he realized it wasn’t his responsibility to care for his baby sister. I just wanted him to enjoy his childhood.
“Well, I don’t want to go alone,” I told him over my water glass.
“So, take Nat then.”
He was going to play hard ball. I sighed.
“Is there something you’d like to do this weekend? I don’t have to work, and I’m gonna be really bored. I was hoping we could hang out.”
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips.
“Or you can go shopping with me and Natalie, if you’d rather,” Mom said as she sat down a plate of her famous chicken casserole and mashed potatoes in front of him with a fork.
“No, I’ll stay with Aunt Amy.” He took a bite of his food and grinned.
I laughed. “Let me go and change and I’ll be right back to eat with you,” I winked at him.
I stood, took my glass to the sink, and returned to my room, almost forgetting Natalie was still asleep. Grinning, I watched her for a moment before gathering my clothes and going to change in the bathroom.
My heart broke a little as I thought about Andrew and Natalie and the kind of life they have to live. If it were possible, I’d take them in a heartbeat. I’d been thinking about it for years. Maybe it was time to get more information on it. I didn’t think I was ready to be a mother, but I’d do what it took to make sure they were taken care of.
I walked back in the kitchen just as Mom was sitting Natalie in her booster seat. She grinned at me, and I walked right over to her and kissed the top of her head.
“Hey, Nat. Where did you come from?”
She giggled. “Aunt Amy, I got to take a nap with you,” she said with a big smile. It was amazingly cute what she got excited about.
“You did, didn’t you?” I winked at her and went to make myself a plate.
My mom bustled around the kitchen, taking care of everyone like she always did. Tears stung my eyes. I’d been guilty of taking my mom for granted before, but I tried my hardest to show my mom how much I appreciated everything she did for me and everyone else.
I moved my plate to where she usually sits and went to her side. After taking Natalie’s half-made plate from her hands, I sat it on the counter and guided Mom by the shoulders to her seat. She frowned in confusion, but I just smiled and went about my business.
I finished making Natalie’s plate and quickly made my own before sitting down putting her plate in front of her. Andrew was almost finished with his by the time we all sat down to eat, but he politely pushed his plate back and stayed seated while we ate.
It wasn’t much, but I knew the time we had together would impact their lives a little better if we acted like a family should. We tried to eat all of our meals together at the table, and we reserved time to play games or watch movies together.
In our little two-bedroom apartment, my room usually became their room when they were here, but I didn’t mind too much. I was okay sleeping on the couch, and it wasn’t like I ever had guests. While my mom knew I’d date, I didn’t find it very respectful to even think about inviting a guy over.
While I’d been dating Marcus, the times I stayed at his house, the kids pretty much completely moved into my room. When I’d come home that Sunday I broken things off with him, I was so upset I didn’t really notice it until later that evening. I couldn’t help but laugh.
That was just something else that made me love them that much more. With all the stuff going on between Marcus and me, I had these kids to distract me. I had spent a couple of days moping, a little depressed, but now I didn’t have time.
Yes, I was still hurting, but at least they didn’t give me a chance to get depressed. It was a huge plus that they kept Marcus off my mind. For that, I’d be forever grateful to these kids.