Logan
TODAY’S TRAINING SESSION is dragging. Is it because Fletch isn’t here? Or is it because I’ve not heard from Lee today? I’m going with a combination of both. Not having Fletch at training makes it pretty boring, although I’m sure he’s having a fantastic time. I’m looking forward to training finishing so I can head to Lee’s office and hopefully talk her into leaving work early so I can take her out for dinner.
We need to talk. It’s time to lay our cards on the table.
“Bloody hell, Logan. Can you get your head out of the clouds and concentrate on this session?” Peter yells across the pitch at me. Everyone stops what they’re doing and all eyes are in my direction. These guys are worse than a bunch of school kids. They’re all waiting for the bad kid to get in trouble.
He’s right; my head isn’t where it should be. “Sorry, boss.”
“Don’t be sorry, just get your act together.”
I refocus and continue with training without putting a foot wrong. Regardless of where my head is at, I’m still the best keeper in the team; that’s why I have the number one jersey. But I do need to sort out my life. That’s why I need to see Lee. I want us to become more than just a casual fling, because she does mean more to me than that. A lot more.
And my feelings are terrifying me.
I’m willing to give it a go. I just hope I’m reading the signals correctly and Lee wants the same.
As we finish training, I watch as Peter takes a call. He doesn’t usually take personal calls during training unless there’s a problem with one of us, his players. He catches my eye on more than one occasion as he listens to whoever is on the other end of the call. His face remains unreadable and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Peter ends his call and his eyes stay on me.
“Everything okay, boss?” I ask.
“Yes,” he answers unconvincingly, but it’s not my place to question him, so I don’t. It’s time to hit the shower so I can go see Lee. I have so many regrets about leaving her yesterday but I had to for my own sanity. It would’ve been so easy to stay at hers. Lie in her bed with her tucked into my side and forget about the world outside. But being around her had my head in so much of a spin that I couldn’t think straight, and I owed it to us both to clear my head and decide what I want. Which is Lee. I want to have a go at a proper relationship. What can be so hard about it? Maybe this time around things will be different for me.
Fletch makes it look so easy with Jess. I always knew he struggled to figure out how he fit into this world. His upbringing was completely different to mine. I had parents who were not only supportive of my career, but who loved me. Fletch didn’t have that from his own mum. My mum loved and still loves him; she treats him like one of her own. Now Fletch has finally found his purpose in life. If he can turn his world around for the better, surely I can as well.
The drive into town was uneventful, which gave me plenty of time to think. My head is swarming with lots of different scenarios and I still have no idea what I’m going to say to Lee when I walk through that office door. The one I’m staring at. The office appears to be in darkness.
Lee and I have a connection; surely she feels it too. I know she does. I see it in the way she looks at me when she thinks I can’t see that sparkle in her eyes. The very same sparkle that can light up an entire room. I only see Lee and I only want her.
I get out of the car and stroll towards the door. My reflection in the window catches my eye; could I be what she wants? The guy staring back at me surprises even me. For the first time, I notice all the small details, like how detailed the tattoo sleeve is on my arm, fine lines blending into each other, forming the pattern. The nervous smile on my face. The tired lines around my eyes due to my lack of sleep over the weekend.
With a deep breath, I reach out to the door handle but the door opens and out rushes Fran with keys in her hand. “Oh. Hi, Logan,” she stutters.
“Fancy seeing you here. Is Lee inside?”
“Erm, no she’s at home.” She moves anxiously from one foot to the other and refuses to look at me.
“Okay, I’ll give her a call. I was hoping to take her out to dinner.”
She turns and I see a slight smile before something else washes over her face, although what it is, I’m not sure. “She needed a few things from the office.”
“Is there a reason she couldn’t get them herself?”
“Yes, she’s not feeling . . .” She clamps her hand over her mouth as if she’s said something she shouldn’t have.
“She’s still not feeling well? Why hasn’t she called me?” It was the last thing I said to her, to call me if she needed me.
“Logan, I need to go.” Turning away from me, she hurries to her car. I watch as she drives off into the traffic. Something isn’t right. Fran is hiding something from me. What’s wrong with Lee?
I pull my phone from my back pocket and call her. It goes straight to voicemail; maybe she’s sleeping. “Hey, Lee. I swung by the office. I was hoping you would have dinner with me tonight. Anyway, I bumped into Fran and she said you’re still unwell. Why didn’t you call me? Please give me a call. I need to know you’re okay.”
I want to go straight to her and make sure she’s okay. Be the one to look after her, especially when she’s sick. Fuck, I’m an arse. She looked awful when she opened the door to me on Saturday night after leaving the function. I knew even after we had sex yesterday she still wasn’t feeling one hundred percent. I should’ve stayed.
But my reasons for leaving her were purely selfish. I needed to be on my own. To clear my mind. Have I misread the signals? Is that why she hasn’t called me? Because she isn’t as interested in me as I thought she was?
I get back into my car and take a grip of the steering wheel, dropping my head against it. Closing my eyes, all I see is Lee’s face. I need to go and check on her for myself.
“What do you mean I can’t see her?” I snap at Fran as she stands at Lee’s front door with it only slightly opened. If I wanted to, I could easily push past her into the house, and from the look on her face, she knows it too. But I won’t. This is me trying to be patient.
“Logan, she’s sleeping. I don’t want to disturb her. She’s been sick all day and needs to rest.”
“Surely she can’t be on her own when you go home to the boys if she’s that sick?”
She hesitates before answering. “I think her mum is coming here so she won’t be on her own.”
“Can you tell her to drop me a text later so I know how she is?”
“Yes. I’ll pass the message on. Now, I’d better get back. I have a lot to do.”
“Like?” I leave the one word hanging in the air between us.
“Like re-arranging her appointments for tomorrow. If she doesn’t need to go into work, hopefully it will help her recover from this illness she has.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll speak to you later then.” I turn away and I hear the door close. Something isn’t right. Was the call Peter got at training from Fran? Does he know what’s wrong with her? Because Fran is acting all cagey, so I’m thinking it’s more than some bug.