Lee ~ March
“WELL . . .”
“Stop right there. Don’t you dare say it.” I huff, staring at Jess as she enters the room. I’m even too exhausted to go and answer the front door. If I’ve heard it once the last few days, I’ve heard it a thousand times. ‘Still no sign of that baby? It must be comfortable where it is.’ My due date has been and gone and still no sign of baby Walker. I swear, Logan has a lot to answer for.
“If you want, I can just go home,” Jess says flatly, sitting down opposite me. I’m so bored and fed up. “Fran will be here in a bit and then we can all watch the game together.”
I smile because I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. Jess is just Jess, what you see is what you get, and that’s why I love her. Fran is also amazing and she’s been on hand whenever I’ve needed advice on my pregnancy.
I really would’ve loved to be at the stadium tonight for this game. Nothing beats the atmosphere of a big European night, but I can hardly move. Every muscle in my body aches. So, for the first time since Logan and I officially got together, I won’t be in the stands watching him and cheering him on.
“You do know you and Fran could’ve been at the stadium tonight?”
“Yes, we could have, but not without you. And us being here means Logan can concentrate on his job of saving the game.”
I can’t help but smile at her last words because as much as I tell him he saves the game for the team, he is the first to openly admit that I saved his game. I’ve given him life again. Purpose.
“I know, and I’m glad you’re here, but I’m feeling . . . I don’t know. Tired.”
“You don’t have long to go now. Two days and you’ll be in hospital.”
I sigh heavily. The consultant has said I’ve to go in on Friday morning and they’ll start things off for me if this little one hasn’t made an appearance by then.
This has been a relatively normal pregnancy, according to my midwife and Fran. I have nothing to compare it to so I’m still unsure, but the last few days I’ve been in a lot of pain. Pain that the midwife says is completely normal considering this is my first pregnancy and I’m overdue. She calls it Braxton Hicks, and says it’s my body getting prepared to deliver. I just call it bloody painful. I have no idea how I’m going to cope with labour.
“So, tell me, do we have much to do now for the wedding?” I ask Jess, knowing it’s only nine weeks until she walks down the aisle and becomes Mrs Adams. She is going to be a stunning bride; I should know; I’ve already had the pleasure of seeing her in her dress. It’s perfect.
“No. I think between us we have everything done. Just a night out or even lunch for us girls. I’m not sure about the whole hen night. I know you and Fran said to have one.”
“Yes, we have, but it’s what you want that counts.” Jess smiles. “Now, are we phoning for pizza or something?”
“No. Fran is bringing a curry with her.”
“Curry?” I frown. When we’re all together it’s usually a pizza and wine, although it’s been a while since I’ve had a glass of wine.
“Yes. A hot curry is meant to help bring on labour.”
“Oh.”
I hear the front door open and close. Fran enters the living room with bags in her hands. Looks as though she has enough food for a small army.
“How is the mum-to-be?”
“Don’t.”
The smile on Fran’s face changes to a full on frown. “Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. I’ve come bearing gifts.”
“Yes, I see that. Jess tells me it’s curry.”
“Yes, and if the curry doesn’t help, when that man of yours gets home tonight, you drag him to bed for sex.” I’m sure I must look shocked because Jess and Fran laugh as they go about sorting out food. “Don’t look so surprised. I can assure you it works.”
That was too much information, but I do laugh because it’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.
Logan had to leave me early this morning even though it’s a home game, so I’ve been on my own most of the day and generally feeling sorry for myself. Mum popped in at lunchtime for an hour with some of her delicious homemade soup. She has been around daily trying to be helpful. She’s been cooking, and cleaning this apartment; it’s spotless. Logan is loving all the home cooked meals.
Logan is desperate for us to find a perfect family home. He wanted us to be moved in before the baby arrived, but it’s not worked out that way. We’ve bought a house in the same development as Jess and Fletcher, and Fran and Peter, but it won’t be ready for another few months. It will be great being close to each other. I’d say we won’t live in each other’s pockets, but that would be a lie, because we already do.
Jess hands me a plate full of food. There’s no way I’ll be able to eat all this. On the table in front of me are soft drinks for all of us. They could have a drink if they wanted but they’ve said no, just in case. I’m sure everyone has bets on when this baby will be born.
The football starts on the TV. When the team takes position, I grin and, as I look at my friends, they both have the same look on their face. A look of pride at what the team has achieved so far this season. The team keeps surprising everyone with each European game they play. They keep on winning.
Jess and Fran are too engrossed and don’t notice that I’m playing with my food and struggling to focus on the game. The niggling feeling I’ve had on and off all day is getting stronger and more uncomfortable than it was before. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, hoping it helps.
“Brilliant.”
“Oh. My. God. We’re one-nil up. Lee?” I open my eyes to see Jess staring at me with a look of concern. “Lee, what’s wrong?” she asks, moving her plate from her lap and sitting before me.
“I’m not sure. I have really bad cramp. Well, that’s what it feels like.”
Fran’s face lights up at my news. “Lee, honey, I think you could be in the early stages of labour.”
Jess squeals.
No, not yet. I want Logan with me. Please wait until Daddy finishes his game.
“Don’t get too excited,” I tell Jess. “This could take hours. Days even.”
“She’s right,” Fran agrees. “Do you want anything for the pain?”
“No. It’s okay just now.”
“Shit!” Jess turns and stares at the TV screen. Fletcher has scored again just on the stroke of half time. I drown out the noise from the screen and try to concentrate on myself and the pains that seem to be getting closer together. It really feels like something pressing hard on my stomach for a few moments before releasing again and giving me a little relief. This is how it’s been most of the day. The only difference is now the pain is more noticeable.
I stand, looking for some comfort. Sitting isn’t helping me. Fran is on her phone, quickly typing out a message.
“Fran, if that’s Peter, don’t you dare tell him. Logan has another half to play.”
“Lee, we have to let him know.”
Jess nods her head, agreeing with Fran. This is impossible; they’re ganging up on me.
“Fine! Tell Peter that Logan has to call me the minute the game is finished and not a minute before. I don’t want to be held responsible for the team losing.”
“You are unbelievable.”
“Maybe, but they only have forty-five minutes to play.”
I ask Fran to turn the TV up louder so I can hear it as I pace around the room. I might not be able to concentrate on the game but the noise level is serving as a distraction from the pain, that again seems to have increased. Fran is helping me with my breathing and Jess is holding my arms as we walk around my living room.
Fran’s phone beeps and she checks it. “It’s Peter. He’s asking if you’re okay and says to let him know straight away if things change. He says he’ll sub Logan as soon as we say so.”
“No. He stays on that pitch until the final whistle. Argh!” I cry out as the pain intensifies and I struggle for air.
“Lee, honey, I need you to focus and breathe. Deep breaths.” I focus on her words and, after a few moments, the pain has dulled and I feel almost normal. “Jess, can you start timing how far apart these contractions are?”
With Fran’s words, this now seems real. The baby might actually make an appearance soon. No sooner has that thought entered my head than I have another contraction, although this one is different from the rest. This is much more intense and has moved into my lower back. Fran and Jess encourage me to breathe through it.
Jess has timed my contractions and they’re coming every five minutes and lasting for what seems like forever. “It’s time to call the hospital and tell them you’re coming in, and call Logan.” It’s Jess who says the words.
I glance at the time on the TV screen. They only have a few minutes left to play but the score is two-one. We missed the opposition scoring. If they score a second it will go into extra time.
As though sensing what I’m thinking, Jess and Fran stare at the screen. I’m sure we’re all mentally counting down until the full time whistle. The opposition have the ball and are racing up the pitch toward goal. Toward my man.
I watch on, hoping and praying. The player lifts his head, looks at goal, and takes a shot. Logan dives for the low curling ball and makes what I’m sure is the biggest save of his career. Fran and Jess cheer but I can’t because I feel the start of yet another contraction. “Okay, enough. I’ve texted Peter and told him to get Logan to the hospital, because that’s where we’re going before you end up having the baby here.”
She might be onto something. The contractions are coming closer together.
“It’s time to push, Lee,” the midwife tells me.
“No, not without Logan. He has to be here,” I cry out, tears falling down my face. I’m exhausted. Each contraction feels like my insides are twisting inside out. My back feels like it’s being torn in two different directions. I want this over, but only when Logan is here.
“Lee, I need you to take a deep breath. Baby is fine at the moment but trying to hold off is going to put extra stress on you both.”
I nod as the door bursts open and in comes Logan, fresh from his game, still wearing his football kit. God, I love him.
“Baby, are you okay?” The words rush from his mouth as he kisses my forehead and takes my hand.
“I am now. I’m ready.”
The midwife gives me instructions as to what I have to do when my next contraction comes. My hand is sweaty in Logan’s as I grip tighter. I take a deep breath and focus as the pain comes quickly and I push until the contraction ends.
“Lee, you’re doing fab,” the midwife says, with her hand resting on my stomach. I dig my fingers into Logan’s hand as I push. “Lee, I need you to focus. I see your baby’s head.” She gives me more instructions and I follow them, pushing and panting.
Exhaustion has taken over and I’m not sure I can do this anymore. Tears are rolling down my face and all I want to do is sleep.
“One more push.”
With Logan’s arm around me, I push.
Fear.
Crying.
Tears.
“It’s a girl. You have a beautiful baby girl.” The midwife places her on my stomach and I cry, this time happy tears. I glance at Logan. He has tears running down his face. I squeeze his hand and he turns and kisses my lips softly.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. You’re on the first night shift when we go home.”
“Fine with me,” he replies, with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.
The midwife wraps up our precious daughter and hands her to me. I stare lovingly at the bundle in my arms. We have a girl. She’s perfection. I’m overwhelmed with emotions. From the pain of moments ago to now. Seeing her tiny body cradled in my arms, it’s amazing.
I lift my head and look at Logan. The smile on his face says a million things that words can’t. The midwife speaks and I know I need to hand our daughter to Logan.
Logan takes her carefully and I watch on. All his fears are forgotten in this precious moment. All the pain and suffering of his past is finally put to rest. He can’t change it, but now I feel he can finally let go and live his life the way he should.
We have some time on our own. I know our friends and family are desperate to meet our girl, but we need a few minutes, just the three of us. Logan handed her back to me as soon as the midwife was finished tending to me. I can’t stop gazing at the beautiful little bundle of joy we created.
Logan sits beside me on the bed, his arm around my shoulder and his other hand resting underneath the arm I have our daughter in.
It’s strange. I have no doubts whatsoever about the depth of my feelings for Logan but I can’t put into words what I feel for this tiny baby girl in my arms. It’s just incredible how much love I feel for her.
“We need a name,” he says, pulling my attention to him.
“Yes, we do. I think we should both say the first girl’s name that comes to mind.” He nods with a smile. “One, two, three.”
“Chloe!” we say together.
“Well, it’s settled,” he says, kissing my cheek.
“Yes. Chloe Walker.”
“Lee, you have no idea what you both mean to me.”
“I have an idea.”
“I love you and thank you. You and Chloe are all I need in my life.”
“I love you too.”