I’d never felt more breakable as I scrambled to get to the hospital. I couldn’t cry, not when my mom so desperately needed my strength. What if my mom saw Mia die? Shit. Fuck. This hurt in a way I’d never be able to recover from. It wasn’t fair. I got to the hospital in less than five minutes. I ran to the front desk.

“I need to see my mom. Last name Carter,” I shouted at the lady running the front desk.

“Oh,” she said with a shaky voice. “You must be Rex. We were told to expect you. She’s on the fourth floor, room 4121.”

Damn, Gunner thought of everything.

“Thank you,” I rushed out before bolting up the stairs. My adrenaline was on high. I couldn’t think of anything but seeing my mom. That was until I reached her door. It was like led settled in my stomach. The reality of everything just hit me. Hard. I didn’t protect them. I ran to the bathroom and puked. Mia was gone. How?

It was an all-consuming pain I had to push aside. I had to keep it together for my mom, the last living family member that loved me. I’d do anything to protect her, keep her safe. Like I should have done Mia. With a heavy heart and a queasy stomach, I opened the door to my mom’s room, not really sure what I was going to find. The second I opened the door and my mom laid eyes on me, she sat up.

“My baby boy!” she cried, extending her arms. “Come here right now.”

Be strong. Be strong. Be a man.

But shit, I could barely look at her.

I made my way to her bedside and she grabbed my shirt and pulled me into her arms. I tried to keep it together, I really tried, but the second my mom had her arms around me, I lost it. I cried. I apologized over and over, and when the tears died down my mom pulled me away, so I could look at her. She had a stern expression on her face, something she didn’t wear often.

“Now you listen to me right now Rex Carter. Do not apologize. This is not your fault!” There were tears in her eyes as well, but she didn’t let them fall.              

“But… Mia?”

The strong, determined expression my mom wore wavered a minute before she put her mask back on, hiding the all-consuming pain. I know the mask didn’t take away the pain, but she was a mom. A warrior. It hid the pain. For me. She loved her kids more than anything in the world, and Mia was her baby girl.

“Mia understood. Mia made peace with what happened. We…” my mom’s voice wavered, but she cleared her throat. “Had time to talk before she… passed. She said some things. I will tell you when you are ready.”

“I’m ready now. I…”

My mom held up a hand. “When I say you are ready.”

“I deserve to know my sister’s last words!” I yelled, cringing because I never yelled at my mom.

My mom sighed. “I don’t have the strength to fight you right now Rex.” I leaned forward, and my mom studied me. She knew this would break me. I knew it would break me, but I had to know. “She knew why we were there, better than me I think. She explained it all. About Alex, her dad, her job, how you guys have spent time with her, how she ran away. We were informed why were there, and do you know why Mia cried Rex?”

I nodded, swallowing the anger mixed with hate swirling in my stomach.

“Because she felt so bad for Alex. She felt terrible knowing they found her again. That she couldn’t be with you. Her last words were all about your happiness Rex. She loved you and protected you like the amazing big sister she is. She protected and loved you until her very last breath. She wanted me to tell you,” mom was crying now, “that she loved you and to not harbor on this. Celebrate her life and live it in a way she would be proud. She said to not, and I quote, piss it away because she will be pissed. Then she said,” mom studied me again, “to forgive Alex for whatever mistakes she made to get us tangled up in all this. She said to help her. Mia told me how much she loves Alex, and how bad she’s always felt we didn’t help her more. Then she was…  then she passed.”

My head fell to my chest and I just… cried. There was nothing left to do. My mom rubbed my head and I felt her tears hit my hands. We cried for a long time before I finally asked the question I should have asked the second I entered her hospital room.

“Mom, what did they do to you? Are you hurt?”

“They killed my daughter and broke my son’s heart.”

I sighed. “Mom….”

“No Rex. That is the worst of it. Everything else is irrelevant and not information you need. It was done to hurt you and Alex, and I won’t give them that.”

Then I knew.

“Fuck!” I yelled, standing up. “Just fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Rex,” my mom practically begged, but I couldn’t hear here. The room was spinning.

“I need air,” I said abruptly. I sprinted out to the back of the hospital, and leaned my head against the wall, trying to take deep breaths. Then I picked up my phone and called the only other person I had in my life that I gave a damn about.

“I need one more favor.”

“Do you?” Gunner’s voice came over the phone.

I was about to be such a hypocrite. All the times I told Alex revenge isn’t the answer and here I was.

“I need revenge.”

“On Pytor I am assuming.”

“Yes.”

“No can do. Honestly man, I am fucking would have killed him then if I could have, but his operation runs deep. That would cause all sorts of problems that I can’t dive into. His associate or whatever is dead, Eric Ray. Looked into him. Just a random piece of shit.”             

“Not random,” I said coldly. “His daughter is the reason I am in this.”

“Oh…” I could hear the shock in his voice. “You’re welcome then,” he said before clicking off.

I growled and swore to myself that no matter what I did I’d get revenge on Alex for dragging me into this and leaving me alone.

I knew for a fact that I hated her with everything I had. I vowed that that would never, ever change.