I woke up chained to a bedpost.

“Fuck,” I whispered. I was literally sitting in my own piss. I groaned. I pissed my fucking pants like a baby. This is why I acted so tough because behind closed doors I was the girl sitting in her own piss, because she was so scared she actually peed herself.

Then my dad walked in and it all came swirling back.

I got up on my knees, as much as I could go while chained up.

“I hate you!” I shrieked. “I hate you. You are an asshole, nothing. You fuck,” my voice cracked. “Is she dead?”

“Awful brave talk for a girl sitting in her own piss,” he laughed. I practically growled at him. He shrugged. “Yeah she’s gone. We’ll have to deal with that.”             

I wanted to cry but was unable. I felt that gut wrenching need to cry, but I just dropped my head and felt my body go limp. I failed my mom.

“Why am I chained up Erik? Your friends aren’t here.”

“Don’t call me by my first fucking name Alexandra. I am your father!” he roared.

“No, you’re not.”

He stomped over to me and grabbed my jaw roughly. I stared at him definitely, all out of shits to give.

“Your chained because it’s my fucking turn you shit.”

“NO!” I jerked away and yanked on my chains. I ignored the pain in wrists. My “dad” just stepped back and watch me jerk around helplessly, laughing. I could tolerate a lot, but not his. Not his hands on me. I vomited all over the floor.

“Don’t do this to me,” I whispered. The fight was leaving me.

My dad stormed off and for a second, I thought he actually was going to cut me some slack, but the second he came back in he threw a washcloth, a paper towel and some wet wipes at me.

“Clean up or your friend Rex will join your mother.”

“Leave Rex Carter alone!” I screamed.

My dad walked to the door and turned back towards me.

“Then clean up and be fucking ready for me.”

He winked, and I allowed myself dry heave on the floor. The one last piece of humanity I’d allow myself.

After wrenching out everything I’d eaten I cleaned myself up. I didn’t really think my dad would kill Rex, but he’d tell him. He would drag him into this mess and I couldn’t let that happen. Ever.

I washed out my mouth. Then I wiped myself down wherever it was necessary. This was all gross for sure. My dad came in the room fifteen minutes later.

“You sick fuck,” he whispered, seeing all the stuff on the floor. I just stared at him with all the hatred in my heart that I could muster.

“Yeah okay. Here’s how this is going to go. I am going to take you to another room. Somewhere where we don’t have all this shit on the floor. If you fight me on this, you know I will involve your friend. I know he has a sister. I have friends Alexandra. Don’t make this hard. Your stupid mother isn’t here to hold anything over me anymore. You’re mine.”             

My mom did what? She protected me? Even though she was sick. He murdered her. I was an idiot for letting Rex in, and his saint of a sister. A. fucking. idiot.

I felt like vomiting again.

“I’ll do what you say,” I whispered.

“Good.”

He walked over and undid my chains. I fought my instincts to fight him. I did. I thought of Rex and Mia and everyone that could get hurt if I fought, but when I saw the door to his room my basal instincts took over. I was a fighter. This was one thing I couldn’t not fight.

I kneed him in the groin and socked him square across the face. Then for good measure I took a vase off the side table and smashed it over his head. It wasn’t a large base, but definitely hurt and disarmed him. I took off running. I didn’t grab anything. I just ran out the front door, down the street until I saw the bus stop. I hid in the bushes and saw my dad driving around looking for me, but I was out of sight. I didn’t come out until the bus pulled up. I ran inside and hid in the back, breathing heavy.

I stayed on the bus until the very last stop where I was literally forced off. It wasn’t until I was all alone in the middle of the sidewalk in a random city that it all hit me. I left Rex, Mia and his amazing parents. I was alone. Homeless. With no money. Honestly, almost all of it was worth it. I’d be homeless, broke and alone all over again if it meant staying away from my dad. Leaving Rex, however, that destroyed me a little. I hated myself for letting myself become attached to someone, for allowing that kind of pain willingly into my life. I actually wanted to turn to him for help. Like I could involve anyone else in this shit. I cursed myself and wandered around, wondering what my next steps would be. I desperately wanted to change my pink striped hair. Dying and cutting my hair has always been my coping mechanism, and if there was ever a moment I needed to cope, this was it.

I finally found a spot in between buildings and decided to settle there for the night. I didn’t really care. I was cold, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t been physically uncomfortable before. My main concern was getting food and water. Even I couldn’t survive without that, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to ask anyone for help. I wouldn’t risk my dad finding me. I wouldn’t risk anyone else getting hurt.

Two days went by with no food and very shitty water. I was getting weak and I knew it. I’d have rather died of starvation than go back and face everything, but still, I wasn’t about to die without a fight.

I walked into a local pub and sat at the bar. I was smelly and nasty but was still pretty hot and I knew my attitude turned some sick fucks on. Maybe one of them would offer to buy me a drink, and I could turn on my charm and ask for a burger instead. Weird, but it’d buy me a little time to think, if I could pull it off. It’s hard to think when you are starving, and your brain is screaming for food.             

I entered the bar with all the attitude I could muster. Regardless of my disgusting as fuck look I took a seat right at the front of the bar on a bar stool. They guy asked when what I wanted to drink, while throwing me a dirty look knowing I wasn’t paying for anything. I lied and said I was waiting on someone. Well it wasn’t really a lie. I was waiting on someone… to pay for me.

I waited at the bar for twenty minutes before I was approached.

“Looking a little raggedy girl there, aren’t ‘cha?”

I was facing away from him, so I rolled my eyes and swallowed the bile in my throat before turning around. When I did I found myself face to face with a guy in his early twenties. He had overly gelled, slicked back hair, a gold necklace and a casual suit outfit. He looked like he was a creeper version of someone in the Russian mafia. I don’t even know why that description came to mind, but that is exactly what he looked like to me. He was by no means attractive, but a lot better than I was expecting given the state of my appearance. I wasn’t going to play some slutty bar girl. I was going to be myself and if he bought me what I needed, great. If not, I’d find a way. I wasn’t going to belittle myself. Even the thought made me scoff.

“Well what the fuck do you expect? A girl to get all dolled up for a fucking drink,” I snapped back. He smirked.

“You got no drink hun.”

“I’m waiting on a friend.”

The man’s smile grew. He looked me up and down.

“You got no friend comin’,” he smirked. I popped out of my chair, offended, even though he was right. My anger was irrational, but the truth in it is what probably fueled my rage.

“What the hell? You don’t know a thing about me fucker!”

“Chill out doll.”

I glared at him.

“You need food, right?... and maybe a fucking shower. You’re homeless. You’re a runaway. I can spot them from a mile away. I will say though, you are much feistier than the typical desperate girls who hang around here.”

“I’m no damn runaway, and I'm sure as fuck not desperate. I'm in between stages.”

He let out a full deep belly laugh. When he finally caught his breath, he looked at me.

“I like you. I have an offer for you.”

I crossed my arm over my chest and cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, get on with it.”

He nodded his head and turned to the bartender. “Get her a burger. Make it a double with a side of fries.”

Then the guy turned back to me as he threw some cash at the bartender. “Meet me outside in twenty or you’re paying me back for that burger. Name?”

“Chris.”

“Real name,” he laughed.

I groaned. What did I really have to lose?

“Alex.”

He looked at me for a second, studying me. “Damn, you’re telling the truth. Sticking with a boy’s name theme are ya?”

“It’s just my name.”

“Short for Alexandra?”

I pounced on him and wrapped my hand around his throat so fast he didn’t see it coming.

“Don’t call me that,” I seethed.

Two large men I didn’t even see with him pulled me off him. The guy rubbed his throat and nodded his head, still wearing a smirk.

“Touché. See ya outside in twenty, Alexandra.”

“I’ll kill you!” I called after him as he made his way outside. God, I hated him, but I had this weird feeling about him. I needed him. He was danger, but I knew he was the danger that was about to save me.

When the bartender placed the burger in front I pretty much attacked it. I devoured that burger and craved more. When it was done I wanted to cry. I didn’t know how it was possible, but I was hungrier after I ate than before. I craved food with a vengeance. I would have given up pretty much anything for food. I almost shed a tear handing my empty plate back to the bartender. The only hope I had left was waiting for me outside of this dingy bar. He put me in a position where I would have done pretty much anything for him if it meant being fed. He played me. Well.

Hanging my head, I walked out of the bar. He was leaning casually against the wall with those two big guys behind him.

“Alexandra,” he sarcastically greeted with his arms extended. I didn’t even hear what else he had to say. If he was going to call me Alexandra. I was out. I would starve. I spun on my heel and headed the other direction. I heard laughter and then the guy spoke up again.

“Okay fine Alex. Quit being a shithead and get over here. I can practically hear your stomach growling from here.”

I didn’t even need to turn around to know he was smirking. That asshole knew he had me. The fucker played me. It wouldn’t happen again. I spun back around.

“What’s your name? Tell me or I'm gone.”

He smiled and looked at his other two guys.

“Ptyor. Sounds like Peter. It’s…”

“Russian. I knew you were fucking Russian. What’s this deal you spoke of? I'm not big on small talk.”

“Me either. Why don’t you come over here, so we can talk?”

I dug my nails into my skin and debated. When I felt blood trickle down my palm I reluctantly I made my way over to them. I had no choice.

“Okay better?” I snapped when I got over there.

One of the big guys rolled his eyes and said something in Russian to Ptyor.

“Oh hell no. Don’t start speaking Russian in front of me and not tell me what you say.  That’s bullshit.”

The big guy with intense green eyes turned to me with an evil glimmer in his eye. Then he resumed his post not saying a word to me. I frowned.

“In his own words he said you are a stubborn fuck and not worth it.”

I scowled at him and turned back to Pytor. I hesitated. This is where shit was about to get real.

“Not worth what?”

“Training.”

“For what?”

“I know a way for you to make money Alex,” Pytor said with a calmer voice. He still radiated power and wealth. I knew this guy was a big deal, and I think I even knew then I was getting in way over my head but was too desperate to care.

“How?” I side eyed him. My gut was twisting. I was in a fucking mess and I knew it.

“Are you good at fucking?” the big green eyed Russian guard asked me, amusement lacing his voice. The other guard reminded silent, at alert. Pytor looked over at the green-eyed guard and cocked an eyebrow. I did everything I could to not react. That’s what the guard wanted, to scare me off, and I wouldn’t give it to him. I cocked a hip and stared at him.

“Oh, so you can speak English. Good for you.” He smirked at me. “Oh, and yes I fuck like a champ.”

“The fuck you learn to fuck at. You’re a kid.”

“I’m guessing where I learned to fuck, and my age is irrelevant as long as I am a good liar, correct? This is a business. I'm not a fucking idiot.”

My gaze never left the green eyed Russian. He intrigued me. If only because I knew I intrigued him. I liked the attention, even if it was negative.

“Am I missing something?” Pytor growled out, sounding pissed for the first time since I met him.

The guard went back to position and I laughed to myself.

“So, you want me to be a hooker?” I said turning my attention back to Pytor.

“We are a little more rigid and it’s more of a business than the typical ‘hooker’ as you say, but for all intents and purposes, yes.”

I watched all three of them. This would be selling myself, selling my body. That was lower than I really ever planned on going. I had fucked a lot random guys before, most not by choice, some for money, but his would be different. I’d get paid and fed. I had no other choice if I wanted to stay alive. If I wanted to away from my dad and keep Rex and Mia safe.

“I can fuck some dudes. I have a few conditions though.”

All three of the men laughed.

“You’re in no positions to be asking for conditions girl,” the silent guard said.

I glared at them, narrowing my eyes. I pulled out my inner business woman.

“I’m guessing many girls are scared shitless of you all. You pick on runaways. If they aren’t scared, they are a drug addict, if by some chance they are neither they have been doing this for so long they probably have all sorts of STDs. I’m young, hot and have a unique attitude. I’m good for business, and a certain brand of clientele. You want me. I know you do Pytor. You’re guards seem like idiots,” I added that just to get back at the green-eyed guard and based on the look in his eye, he knew it, “but you aren’t Pyotr. You know I’m right.”

“Not lacking confidence, are we?”

“Shhh…” Pytor held up a hand and eyed me cautiously. “What are these conditions?”

I remained cool and confident on the outside, but inside I was freaking out that Pytor was actually going to hear me out. I couldn’t take this ‘job’ without some sort of limitations. I was going to at least sell my soul for a price.

“First, if I know the person I can say no. I won’t fucking abuse that, but I am not fucking someone I know.”

“I don’t trust you to tell the truth. You’ll just say what you have to get away from the freaks.”

I laughed and waved my hand flippantly. “You have my word.”

He laughed. “Your word is shit and we both know it. Your soul is too far gone for that. Give us names and if they come, you won’t have to fuck them. My only deal.”

His voice was firm, and I was starting to understand the power he held more and more. The silent guard was watching me with narrow, focused eyes. Fuck, though, I did not want to tell them names. My past.

“Look babe, we all know you have daddy issues. So, what’s his name? You don’t have to fuck him.”

I hated their arrogance.

“Erik. Ray fucking obviously. I’m not fucking my dad.”

“Done. What are your other conditions?”

“Until I get a gig and some cash I want as much food as I need, a shower, a place to stay… and a haircut,” I added.

“Would you like maid service as well?”

I was one second from losing it and probably getting myself killed. I dug my nails in further.

“I’m filthy, starving and cold. I'm not seducing anyone like this. Be real.” I rolled my eyes at them.

Pyor seemed lost in thought. Then looked up at me.

“Anatoli,” he snapped.

“Yes sir,” the green-eyed Russian responded.

“You deal with those conditions,” then he turned back to me and narrowed his eyes. “Done. That’s the end of your conditions. Are you in or out?”             

I didn’t hesitate. Food. Housing. Shower. Fuck me, “I’m in.”

Pytor smiled. “To lots of money, my dear.”

Then he walked off with his silent guard and I was left looking into Anatoli’s cold green eyes.

“” You coming?” he snapped.

Fuck, what did I just do?