Eric
I couldn’t fight the yawn that forced its way out as I rang Marcus’s doorbell. It couldn’t have been a longer day. With people calling out sick all week and the company asking for volunteers for overtime, I’d worked almost twice my usual hours, and it was starting to catch up to me. What I probably should have done was gone straight home, but we’d been talking about having dinner out all week.
Since I’d had to postpone our date twice already, I wasn’t going to do it for something as ridiculous as sleep. I could do that tomorrow. Marcus opened the door before I could stop yawning. He frowned, giving me a look I was coming to recognize.
“I knew you were too tired for dinner.”
Just the idea that he might make me go home had my stomach turning in circles. “No, I’m fine.” I stood up straighter and successfully fought off another yawn. “I just need some caffeine. I don’t want to miss another date with you.”
The last part came out whinier than I’d intended, but I couldn’t help it. The lack of sleep was starting to catch up to me and the coffee I had a few hours ago was already fading fast. Yes, I needed sleep. I just needed him more.
Just acknowledging that was scary, even if I didn’t say it out loud.
Marcus pressed his lips together and gave me a thorough once-over. It wasn’t sexy, but it pulled at that part I kept tucked away that longed to be taken care of. I wasn’t sure if he guessed or if something about my demeanor gave it away, but he shook his head.
“We won’t cancel the date. We’ll stay in tonight instead. You’re too tired to go anywhere. After you get some sleep and have a chance to relax, tomorrow we can go out.” His tone was firm, and it was clear he wouldn’t change his mind.
The Italian place he’d talked about sounded wonderful, but as long as he didn’t send me home alone I wouldn’t complain. “But I can stay?”
His expression turned tender, and he reached out to pull me close. “Yes, Baby. I’m not letting you go anywhere.”
I wasn’t sure if he thought I was too tired to drive or if he’d missed me, but I wasn’t going to ask. “Thank you.”
“You never have to thank me for taking care of you or having you over.” His hands moved up and down my back, soothing out the knots that had formed over the past couple of days. “I love having you over. And I know it’s going to take you a while to believe it, but I like caring for you.”
Before I could get too comfortable snuggled up close to him, he stepped back, giving me a light kiss on my head. “Let’s get you something to eat. When did you have lunch?”
I thought back through my day. It must have taken too long because he made a disapproving sound and frowned at me again. “Did you eat lunch?”
“Maybe?” I shook my head to clear the fog. “I brought a sandwich with me and someone had brownies on their desk.”
“And that’s all you’ve had since first thing this morning?” His voice was getting stern. It was clear he didn’t like my answer.
“I think so.” I shrugged. Maybe. “I probably snacked a little? I usually keep a few things at my desk.”
I just couldn’t actually remember eating. The way my stomach was rumbling, I wasn’t sure I’d had much. It had just been one phone call after another today. Even my time off the phones never felt like a real break.
“This might sound slightly stalkerish, but letting you out of my sight seems like a bad idea.”
I thought him being slightly stalkerish sounded like a great idea if I was being honest, but it didn’t seem like the right time to encourage him. My brain wasn’t working fast enough to think of a response, so I just stood there watching him.
“Come on, Baby. Food, then we’ll relax and see what else you’re up for.” His words were meant to be soothing, but my brain latched on to his last words and played them over in my head. Marcus just laughed and shook his head. “No, that’s not how I meant it, Baby.”
My body managed to find the energy to blush. Marcus just laughed again and took my hand. He led me into the house and headed straight for the kitchen. I got another little kiss on my forehead and he made me sit down at the table.
“I’m going to get started on dinner. You are going to sit down and unwind.” His expression turned thoughtful as he started wandering around the kitchen. “And I know just how you’re going to do it.”
He crouched down and started digging through one of the cabinets. After a few quiet comments about needing to rearrange the kitchen, he took out a small, rectangular plastic storage container. He brought it over to the table, grinning as he opened it.
Pulling out a coloring book and crayons, he set them on the table and started putting the box away. Just like it was something he did every day. I might have sat there dumbfounded like a moron.
Marcus finally realized I was just looking at him and the toys because he walked back over to the table and sat down beside me. He looked down and reached out to straighten the coloring book. The cartoon animals on the front had big eyes and were brightly colored. I knew what he wanted me to do with it, I wasn’t stupid, but I wasn’t sure that I could.
“I bought this almost a year ago.” His warm, soothing voice was unexpectedly tender. “I’d been to the zoo for a coworker’s kid’s birthday. I saw it sitting on the shelf near some stuffed animals in the gift shop. I knew right then it was time to start putting the nursery together. I went back to the zoo the next day and bought the book along with too many of the other toys, but they were perfect.”
He reached out and opened the book, absently turning the pages, tracing the dark lines and curves that made up the pictures. “I’d had that room sitting empty, and it was like a metaphor for the rest of my life. I knew what should go in there, but I wasn’t doing anything about it.”
Daddy pushed it so it was laying open in front of me. Then he carefully opened the small box of crayons and pulled out a red one. Holding it out to me, he gave me a small smile. “Do you want to color a picture?”
It would have been so much easier if he’d simply asked me to color something for him—or even if he’d just told me to do it. An order would have made it so easy. I opened and closed my mouth several times before I could get the words out. “Can I have the brown, please? I want to do the bear.”
His smile widened, and he leaned over to kiss my cheek before getting out the brown crayon. “Here you go. I’m going to make dinner while you color a picture.”
I nodded distractedly, too focused on the plain brown crayon in my hand to look up at him. It felt a little like I was holding a snake that might reach out and bite me at any second. I knew that my anxiety was stupid, and that in the scheme of things, me coloring a picture wasn’t that dramatic, but it felt so much bigger than just spreading brown wax on paper.
Daddy pretended to focus solely on making dinner, but I could feel him watching me as I flipped the pages back to the bear I’d seen when he was browsing through the book. The kitchen was absolutely silent as I started coloring the bear. One second my hand was hovering over the page and the next, brown streaks were decorating the page.
I’d done it.
It was probably a stupid milestone, but it felt like I’d climbed Mount Everest. Relief was mixed with other emotions that didn’t make sense. I was too tired to figure it out and a bit too raw to process it. Work was a big part of it, but every time I’d laid down lately I’d relived the nightmare from high school and everything that happened after it.
I’d seen enough fake psychiatrists on TV to realize that nightmares always got worse as your brain started processing traumatic events, but that didn’t make it any easier. I’d wanted a daddy and everything that came with the lifestyle for so long, but now that I had it I wasn’t sure how to grab it.
It was like a glass of water right in front of me when I was so thirsty I couldn’t think. It should be so easy to reach out and grab it, but it felt impossible. My vision started to blur as I changed crayons and started tracing around the grass, methodically coloring it. I wanted it to be perfect.
The first drop of water that hit the picture startled me. I jerked back, and it took me a second to realize it was my tears on the page.
“Hey, come here, Baby.”
“But my picture, it’s ru—”
“It’s perfect.” He took the crayon out of my hands and pulled me up into his chest. “Come here. You’re exhausted.”
Arms came around to wrap me tight and press me against his body. I didn’t know why I was shaking and crying. It was a stupid picture.
“We’re going to put you to bed. I think you need sleep more than anything else right now.” He shifted me around and grabbed something off the table, but the only thing I focused on was the feel of his body wrapped around mine.
I might have nodded. It didn’t matter, though. He’d made up his mind and was charging right in to give me what he thought was best. My daddy.
“Is my bed alright, Baby?” He started leading me toward the back of the house when I didn’t disagree with him.
I didn’t want to be alone. My delayed nod made him chuckle, and it helped me start calming down. “I’m just tired.”
“You’re more than tired, Baby.” His frustrated tone let me know how upset he was. He’d tried to talk to me several times this week about how many hours I was working, but there hadn’t been anything I could do about it.
He left the lights off as we went into his room. The glow from a nightlight in the nursery was the only way to see. Leading me over to the bed, I heard a clunk as something was set down on the nightstand. Stepping back slightly, he sat me down on the bed and gave me another kiss.
“Wait right here, Baby.”
I thought I nodded, but I wasn’t sure. I did a good job waiting for him to come back out of the nursery, though. I couldn’t think of anything we needed out of there, but my brain was taking entirely too long to process anything, so it could have been something obvious and I would have missed it.
“Good boy.” His warm voice startled me when I realized he was standing in front of me again. When had he walked back in the room?
I blinked up at him, confused and starting to get ridiculously emotional again. Daddy gave me a soothing smile and ran a hand over my head. “Let’s get you ready for bed.”
He reached down and pulled my shirt off, over my head in one swift motion. Before I could even think, he had a soft shirt going over my head. “Stand up for me, Baby. I want to get you out of these jeans.”
I was functional enough to realize that statement should have been sexy, but he was too focused on taking care of me to notice, and I was too fuzzy to respond. Another time. Next time he took my clothes off I’d be sexy.
With me following his directions, he had the jeans off and the cotton lounge pants on in seconds. Pulling back the covers, he had me lie down and tucked them up around me. I wasn’t surprised when he climbed up and curled around me. Tucked close against his chest, I snuggled into him, closing my eyes and rubbing my cheek on his shirt. I could feel the muscles flex as his arms stretched out around me.
“Here we go. I want a little something in your tummy before you go to sleep, Baby.”
I was too tired to blush, but the way he said it made me squirm. Grown men didn’t have tummies. I wasn’t supposed to like the way it sounded, but in that moment, I didn’t care enough to fight the warm feeling it released in me.
Something soft ran over my lips and my tongue flicked out automatically. Tasting the sweet liquid on my lips, I peeked open one eye to see the bottle in his hand. If I’d been less exhausted or if he’d been less insistent, I would have probably protested out of habit alone.
“Open. You can’t go to sleep hungry. It’s not a full dinner like you need, but it will work.” His firm tone left no room for hesitation, and right then I was grateful. Opening my mouth, I took the nipple in and wrapped my tongue around it.
It took me a few seconds to figure out how to suck on it to get the most out, but soon I was tucked in close to his warm body and drinking out of my bottle. My eyes drifted closed again as I listened to his steady heartbeat and soft, whispered words.
They filtered in disjointedly. Little comments about how special I was. Something about how good I was and how beautiful I looked. I’d dreamed about this moment for so long and now that it was here, I was too tired to really enjoy it.
More tears started spilling down my face, but I just ignored them as I sank against Daddy’s body. The warmth that radiated out from him and the soothing, rhythmic feel as I drank out of the bottle had me lulled into a quiet head space where nothing else mattered.
The feel of his fingers as they wiped away the wetness on my face was the last thing I remembered.
****
I woke up slowly, wonderfully trapped in soft covers and Marcus’s embrace. I wiggled around to press closer against him but refused to open my eyes, even when he chuckled and his arms tightened around me. I wasn’t ready for morning.
I had vague memories of showing up at his house the night before and a foggy one about stumbling around in the middle of the night looking for the bathroom, but that was about it. I remembered coloring, and I had flashes of a bottle, but nothing else.
“Are you playing possum or going back to sleep?” His laughing voice whispered from the cocoon I was wrapped in.
“Hmm, perfect. Staying right here.” I wasn’t exactly tired, but it felt too good to move. Going back to sleep wasn’t a bad idea as long as he stayed right there with me.
His hands started slowly caressing my back in wide circles. “Considering it was your stomach that woke me up, I thought you might be hungry.”
Hmm. That didn’t sound bad.
Sleep still sounded better, though.
“I have everything I need to make waffles.” The teasing tone of his voice let me know he was aware of my internal debate.
But waffles…
“I might even have whipped cream and strawberries to go on top if that’s what my boy wants.”
Oh, that was even better.
One eye popped open. “Whipped cream?”
He laughed and fingers dug into my side, making me squeal and wiggle. “That…tickles…Daddy!”
“Oh, you’re awake now?”
“Yes!”
He stopped long enough for me to catch my breath. “Are you ready for some food?”
I gave him a skeptical look. “Were you just teasing about the waffles?”
He grinned, a teasing, silly look. “No, but you have to have some sausage to go with it.”
Even I heard my stomach as it rumbled on cue. “That sounds wonderful.”
Hearing him talk about food made me realize how hungry I was. Whatever he’d put in the bottle last night had helped a little, but it hadn’t been a real meal. Not that I’d been in any shape to stay up and eat one. As I started waking up, my brain started filling in some of the details from last night.
The only thing I could blame my breakdown on was not enough sleep and too many things running through my brain. I shouldn’t have let it affect me like that, but it had just been so—
“No. Don’t worry about last night. You were exhausted and had been keeping too much locked up inside you. It was bound to come out eventually.” He kissed my forehead. “You shouldn’t have hidden it from me.”
“Well, I—”
His hand moved to rest one finger on my lips. “No excuses. If we’re together and I’m your daddy, then you need to let me know when everything is getting to be too much. Not wait until you’re at your breaking point.”
I felt guilt rising up inside me. He was right. I kissed his finger and nodded. When he pulled his hand back and cupped my face, I leaned into his touch. “Yes, Daddy. I won’t wait that long again.”
Promising not to have a meltdown wasn’t reasonable, and we both knew it, but I was going to do my best not to let my worries eat away at me.
“There is no reason to keep it to yourself. We’re supposed to help each other, right? I can talk to you about my retirement concerns and you can talk to me about things that are on your mind.” He pulled me close and turned his head to nuzzle at my neck.
The feel of his teeth as they gently scraped my skin made me shiver. “Oh.”
My hips rocked into him, desperate for more friction as my cock grew harder as the sensations traveled down through me. His wicked chuckle made me shiver again. “Please.”
“I’m going to feed you first.” I knew he was talking about waffles, but the way he said it sounded deliciously dirty. “Then we’ll see about other things.”
Other things?
We’d fooled around a little and kissed countless times since the first time I’d come over to his house, but we hadn’t gone much further than that. Did that mean he wanted more? I was more than ready for sex, but he’d kept things from getting that sexual. He’d said he wanted to give me time to process everything before we went that far but from the tone of his voice, it sounded like he was as anxious to get closer as I was.
I gave him a little nod. “Waffles, then other things.”
He just grinned. “Let’s get you fed, then.”
I’d never looked forward to waffles more.