Eric
I should’ve walked out the door. I’d known it was a bad idea from the start, but like all epic fails, you can’t seem to help yourself. It always worked that way. What had I been thinking? Nothing smart, that’s what.
And now I was continuing one idiotic decision with another.
Following the sexy Dom across the room was instinctive. That was my only excuse. Well, that and I liked how it felt. His sure touch. His confidence. The natural orders that he gave. He was someone used to being in charge and knowing what to do. It was magnetic.
Walking over to the couch where the other Dom waited, I debated back and forth about how stupid it was, but I kept going. The fact that his warm, strong hand was still on my shoulder might have had something to do with it. It had been so long since I’d been touched like that. There was no hesitation and nothing passive about it.
It was a Dom instinctively reacting to a sub.
Not that he was looking at me that way. It seemed to be an unconscious gesture. As strong and masculine as he was, he wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew what was going on in my head. He was perfectly sculpted with almost military-short hair and broad shoulders. He was old enough to seem like he would know what he was doing in the bedroom…and the kitchen…and the living room…and anywhere else he wanted his sub.
I was an idiot.
Why did I expect things to change? No matter what articles and profiles online said, no one in real life wanted the same thing I did. But the sureness in his voice when he said someone would was soothing and addicting.
Was he right?
No. I’d thought meeting that dick would change things, and that clearly wasn’t the case. I thanked God that I hadn’t shared too much. The tiny amount of myself I’d let slip told me he would have never been daddy material.
There was probably no such thing, anyway.
Lizzie always said romance was manufactured by Hallmark and the book industry. I always told her she was crazy; however, I was starting to think she might have the right idea. But in this case, it was the porn industry promoting the unattainable fantasy of a Daddy Dom. It seemed to be like some kind of gay unicorn.
Everyone online said they knew someone who was into it—but it was all a load of shit in real life.
Pushing a riot of emotions back, I settled into a chair next to the couch and did my best to blend in. What was I doing here? Watching the two handsome men as they relaxed back, I was envious. They knew they belonged. It was clear with every breath they took.
I couldn’t imagine that feeling.
“Ben, meet Eric. His evening didn’t go quite as planned, so I invited him over to join us.” Marcus’s voice was strong and sure as he introduced us. No second-guessing, just relaxed and confident.
“Nice to meet you. I’d love to say I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but he’s an ass and you’re better off without him.” Ben looked toward the hallway that Samuel had walked down and frowned. He was good-looking and a bit older as well, but he didn’t hold a candle to Marcus.
Marcus chuckled and shook his head. “So diplomatic.” Turning to me, Marcus grinned, a wide smile that softened his strong features and warmed something inside me. “What Ben is trying to explain is that Samuel is not the most well-liked Dom in the club. There are other Doms that would suit you better.”
Any Dom would have suited me better, but I couldn’t picture one wanting me.
I tried for a response that wouldn’t show how…emotional the meeting had been. “He’s not quite the same person he presents himself to be online.”
Huge understatement.
In emails and messages, he’d talked about domination in caring terms, not using the exact words, but everything on his profile gave the impression that he was looking for a submissive that wanted to be tended. Not exactly coming out and saying he was interested in an age play relationship, but some of the words were damned close.
In real life, he’d made it clear right away he wanted something different. Part of me wondered how many confused guys fell for that crap—sweet online and then arrogantly demanding in person. Maybe I should have been more selective, but I hadn’t received that many responses to my profile. When Samuel seemed to be a real person who was reasonably local and belonged to a BDSM club, it seemed perfect.
I should have known better.
At least I hadn’t told him everything.
Just the little hints I’d let slip were enough for him to use against me. Those biting words pointing out how ridiculous it would be to imagine a Dom taking care of a sub made me cringe. He’d made it clear it should be the other way around.
With me on my knees serving him instead.
Imagining how it would have gone if he’d known everything made my stomach knot and start to churn. Marcus’s brows pulled together and he frowned but didn’t say anything. When he turned to Ben and changed the subject, I was immensely grateful. I didn’t know if it was on purpose or not, but I was glad no matter what.
“Conner working late?” Then Marcus turned to explain for my benefit, “Conner is Ben’s partner and submissive. He’s usually here with Ben in the evening, but the last few times I’ve come in, he was busy.”
My first thought was to wonder how often he went to the club, but right away I knew it wasn’t an appropriate question. At least, I didn’t think it was. There were a variety of websites online that talked about BDSM clubs and etiquette. But while they had some rules in common, most lists were very different. Some wrote it was okay to ask questions, others explained it would be considered rude. Steering toward the more conservative side, I kept my mouth shut and listened.
Ben sighed, leaning his head back against the couch. “He’s got a few big projects he’s working on. Bidding a couple and finishing up two, one that’s really big. He’s been insanely busy and I haven’t helped things.”
That got both of our attention, but luckily Marcus could ask. “What do you mean?”
Ben straightened, the businessman in him clearly coming out. “We haven’t made it public knowledge yet, but we’ve finished purchasing a building that will be another club. He’s planning out the renovations and trying to finish everything else up so he can start work on it soon.”
Ben must have figured out I didn’t understand what he was talking about because he turned to me. “Conner owns a contracting company that does mostly specialty work, some businesses, but a lot of custom homes. He’s going to be doing the renovations on the new building, but he’s already got a pretty full plate and there’s not much I can do to help.”
Marcus leaned over and gave Ben’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’m sure that’s not how he sees it. He would have hated to have someone else do the work on it.”
Ben barked out a laugh and a smile lit up his eyes. “That would have made him nuts. I couldn’t do it to him. This is totally his baby.”
“Give him some time. He was doing great at keeping work in perspective.”
Ben nodded. “He’s a natural workaholic, but he was doing a lot better. He just needs to get through the next week or so until his other big project winds down. I’m not the most patient person when it comes to seeing him stressed.”
Marcus snorted. “That’s downplaying it. You’re terrible.”
“Thanks. Love you too, Pops.”
“Just keeping you honest. And stop calling me that. It sounds like I’m eighty.” Marcus frowned, but he didn’t look too upset.
Pops?
It had to be a nickname, but for what? He was mature, not old. The only things that came to mind were ridiculous. I was pulled away from my thoughts by their excited conversation about the new club. Ben was verbally walking Marcus through their plans and his excitement was clear.
“We’ve even got the contractor who did the furniture for this club to do the second one. Some slight modifications but the same general ideas. I’m excited to see what he comes up with.”
“That’s great. I was looking at his site the other day and a few things popped out at me, but I wish he had a bigger variety of lifestyle pieces. One of the spanking benches would be great, but finding enough good items to put together the room I’m envisioning hasn’t been easy.”
“Didn’t you find that site? The one that had the bed you liked?”
They were talking about furniture and I got the fact that it was BDSM stuff, but it felt like I was missing something. What did they mean? Why would he need to buy a bed from a specialty online store? When I pictured BDSM and beds, I thought of headboards you could be tied to, but those were in almost every store. Of course, most people wouldn’t be thinking of how strong the bars were and if handcuffs would go around them, but still…
What kind of furniture did he need to special order? And what kind of room was he designing?
My first thought was a dungeon or something, but that didn’t seem right. I didn’t know Marcus very well, not at all really, but something about the way he spoke and presented himself didn’t give me the impression that he was the big bad Dom type with a basement full of torture devices.
Not that the idea wasn’t kind of hot, but I couldn’t see Marcus with something like that.
“Yes, but when I started talking to people I knew, they said the quality just wasn’t there. And there were even a few comments on the site about the crib not being sturdy enough. As expensive as it is, I want something I know isn’t going to break. I’d worry every time I tucked my boy in.” He shook his head, looking frustrated.
Ben was nodding and had a grin on his face. “You’d be double-checking the bolts and strength whenever you put someone down for a nap.”
What the hell?
Cribs?
I was trying not to react, but it was getting more difficult. He’d said crib. I thought I was hearing things. But when Marcus started talking about “putting my boy down for a nap,” there was no way it was all in my head. I’d never read a story where that happened to a sub. You only did that with someone who wanted to be a little.
Did they know? Was it all a joke? The grownup version of teasing the new kid?
Even as the words floated through my mind, I knew it wasn’t right. Marcus had come over, clearly concerned that things were going wrong. There was no way he could have known, and none of the online forms had sexual fetishes as a required question. Even the tone of his voice said that wasn’t who he was.
I talked on the phone for a living; I could almost always tell the dicks from the nice guys. It was something in their voice. Marcus had nice guy written all over him, but he wasn’t a pushover. The way he hadn’t taken no for an answer made it clear and nothing else he’d said discounted it.
He was looking to buy a crib.
Did he have a boy?
Thankfully, I was saved from having to ask because the next part of the conversation answered it for me. Ben reached over to pick up his drink from the coffee table. “I still think you need to wait until you’ve found someone to decorate the nursery. Conner has opinions on everything. I can’t imagine him not wanting a say in the colors or furnishings.”
Marcus shook his head. “No. It should be perfect. When I find the right boy, I need to show him I’m taking the lifestyle seriously.”
Lifestyle?
“There are too many people who dabble in age play or who say they’re looking for a little. I want there to be no doubt I’m sincere and it isn’t something I saw online last week and decided to play with. Having everything ready is the best option.” Marcus’s tone was firm and decisive.
He was a daddy who knew what he wanted.
Was he a daddy? Like an actual Daddy Dom?
My brain was going into overdrive trying to sort through it all. Fantasy images flashed through my mind, but there was also the lingering fear of the unknown. I’d met my unicorn—but now what? Was I supposed to say something? Was I supposed to ignore it?
They were talking about it like it was something typical, like he was decorating his living room, not a nursery for a technically grown man who wanted to be cared for. Marcus was excited to be planning for a little. And he’d shared it with someone he obviously considered a friend.
My chest was getting tighter and for a second it was hard to breathe.
He must have known something was off because Marcus looked over, concern in his eyes, but when he spoke he didn’t bring up my odd behavior. “I forget you don’t know everyone yet. Ben and Conner have a more traditional BDSM relationship, but I’m what’s more commonly known as a Daddy Dom. Are you familiar with the term?”
He said it in such a matter-of-fact voice. He’d turned everything sideways for me, but to him, it was as normal a sentence as introducing his political preference or job. How did he do it? How could he say it without feeling…crazy? How did he make that sentence sound so normal?
My voice was rough, and I had to clear my throat before I could speak. Eventually, I managed a passable response. “Yes, I’m familiar with it.”
Short and to the point, but at least I hadn’t frozen.
Marcus looked at me like I’d said something interesting. “If you ever have questions, we’d be glad to help. I’m sure just about everyone here would. BDSM and any of the variations can be overwhelming when you first start to explore it.”
My voice seemed trapped in my throat so I nodded, managing to make a passable sound of agreement. Marcus had that expression again, and I wasn’t sure what to say. Luckily, he turned the conversation back around to Ben, so I didn’t have to figure anything out.
I listened as they talked about the nursery plans and Marcus’s ideas for furniture he’d like to find. As their conversation continued, I learned that Marcus was single and had been for a while. They also mentioned how much he’d been working lately, and I finally figured out that he was a police officer as well.
Could he get more perfect?
Sexy as hell, with his short hair that was just starting to show a little bit of salt and pepper at the sides and a body that was broad and firm. Even through his shirt, you could see he would look incredible once you got him naked. And the fact that even in his job he was dominant and took care of people was even more attractive. Whoever got him as a daddy was going to be a very lucky boy.
Could you be envious of someone who didn’t exist?