Eric
My first thought was that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for this phone call. “Hello, Aunt Sylvia. How are you doing?”
Her soothing voice came over the line, but there was a hint of steel in it. “I’m doing fine, sweetie, but why do I get the feeling you’re not?”
Because she was psychic when it came to me losing my marbles. “No idea.” Would it make her feel better if I told her I had a date? I had a feeling that might backfire. While I was still debating, she took the decision out of my hands.
“It’s Saturday night and you’re a young man; I’m expecting to hear about your big plans. And they’d better not involve your neighbors again.” Her voice started getting louder. By the end, it had a firm tone that said she wasn’t going to take any bullshit from me.
“I love you, Aunt Sylvia.”
“Don’t try to distract me.” The curt words weren’t mean, but she was making it clear she wouldn’t be deterred.
“No, I’m just glad you worry about me. It means a lot.”
“You’re lucky I can tell you’re sincere. Now stop trying to distract me. Are you heading out to play cards again?” She was starting to sound disappointed.
She’d been pushing me to get out more over the past couple of months. Between her and Lizzie, I was getting it from every angle. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t trying. “I actually have a date in a few minutes.”
Please don’t ask…please don’t ask…
“Where did you meet him? What kind of job does he have? Is it another nice boy, Eric?” Worry was rising in her voice as the questions came rolling out at top speed.
Aunt Sylvia thought I needed someone less nice and more interesting. Well, she’d actually said something like I was sweet so I should find someone spicier to complement me. Considering we’d been having Mexican food at the time the analogy had been a good one—and not completely wrong.
I was going to try to avoid the “Where did you meet him?” question for as long as possible. “He’s a cop and a little older, a nice guy but definitely not a boy.”
“That sounds like a pretty good fit for you, sweetie. Tell me more.”
“He’s nice and interesting to talk to…” What else should I say? She’d go nuts if he sounded too boring. “He’s a bit take-charge, but not in a mean way. It’s probably the cop thing.” And the whole Daddy Dom thing, but I wasn’t going to say that.
“Oh, a more dominant kind of personality, huh?”
The carefully neutral way she said that had the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. What the hell? Why was she harping on that? “Cops are generally more assertive, I think. I’m not sure if they’re born that way or if they get issued it with the gun and badge, but he’s not obnoxious about it.”
Were we really going to do this?
“Do you have other things in common?” There was a tone in her voice that made it clear she wasn’t asking exactly what she was saying.
Dear God, we were going to do this!
“Um, yes.” Now I sounded guilty, like I was a teenager all over again hiding something from her.
“I think we can both agree that you haven’t been dating people that you…have similar hobbies to. I want to make sure you’re not avoiding people you have similar interests with.” The way she said “hobbies” had my stomach rolling. There was a hurricane inside of me and no amount of Tums would take care of it.
Why were we doing this now?
At least this answered the question of whether she’d known or not. There was no way I’d be getting this third degree with thinly veiled questions about my lifestyle preferences if she didn’t. The room started to tilt, and I reached out to grab a hold of the back of the couch. What was I supposed to say? “We have a lot in common.”
“I’m so proud of you, sweetie.” There was a relieved smile in her voice that made me relax enough to get a full breath. “Just because your parents are assholes doesn’t mean you need to hide from things.”
I was done. No more.
“I have to go or I’ll be late, Aunt Sylvia.”
She sighed. “I thought you might say that. Remember, I’m just pushing because I love you, and I don’t want you to hide part of who you are. You’re special and perfect and some man is going to be very lucky to have you fall in love with him. Okay, no more lecturing. I expect a phone call in a couple of days, and you were going to drive out for dinner soon. Don’t forget.”
“Yes, ma’am. I won’t.” Trying to hide my relief as she said goodbye and hung up, I felt a little guilty. Not much, though.
Why was she bringing it up? I had to admit, there was some relief in knowing that she didn’t hate me for what I wanted, but that didn’t mean I wanted to talk about it. And just because she hinted that she was okay with it didn’t mean that she understood what she was saying. I still had no idea what my parents had told her. We could be talking about two different things and it could still come back to bite me in the ass.
No, we were better off ignoring it.
Pushing the conversation to the back of my mind, I made myself stand up straight and take a few deep breaths. It didn’t matter that I’d told her it was time to go just to get out of the conversation, because it was actually true. Looking around the apartment, I moved to get my keys.
I was distracted enough that I actually looked for my phone for almost five minutes before I realized I was carrying it. But since I wasn’t planning on telling anyone, I tried not to feel embarrassed. I was under a lot of stress and I was going to cut myself some slack.
I double-checked that I locked the door as I headed out and went down to my car. Avoiding the pool area, I took the long way around to get to the parking lot. I wasn’t up to any more questions. Old people seemed to all be psychic, because if I walked past them at that moment I knew they would all be able to tell something was wrong.
I was lucky the drive to Marcus’s house was short, so it didn’t give me much time to panic. By the time I arrived, I was nervous but not crazy, so I thought it was an improvement. When I’d gone to the club for the first time, I’d sat in the car for almost ten minutes, trying to get the panic under control enough to go in. The fact that I could get right out when I got to Marcus’s made me proud of myself.
Walking up to the doorway, I hadn’t even stepped up to the porch when the door opened. Smiling at Marcus, I had to tease. “Excited to see me, huh?”
He took the flirting and gave it back full force. Scanning me up and down, a predatory gleam in his eyes, his voice was rich and almost husky. “Absolutely. I won’t hide that—but I can control it.”
My face heated and I knew I was blushing, but I didn’t look away. I was going to do my best to show both of us I was functional. And that meant no hiding. Well, maybe less hiding than usual should probably have been the goal.
Seeing my reaction, he pulled back the desire that was radiating from him, and he got the tender look that was more familiar. It was nice to know he wanted me. This part of Marcus was easier to handle. But someday, I wanted to be ready for the naughtier part that flashed in his eyes.
Attempting to sound casual, I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject as I stepped up to the door. “I can’t believe you live so close.”
He reached out to rest his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I was surprised, but I’m glad it worked out that way. It’s going to make seeing you a lot easier.”
He always sounded so natural when he talked about us in the future; I loved it. He seemed so confident, and it made me feel safe. Maybe that was why I was even considering telling him what I wanted…or maybe needed was a more honest word. Was it really a want when it was something that was so deep inside you it touched every part?
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just smiled and nodded. However, my reaction didn’t seem to bother him. He just let his fingers start caressing my shoulder lightly and stepped closer. I wasn’t even sure if he realized he was doing it, but he made it easier to relax.
“Let’s go inside and I’ll show you around. I’ve already got the grill heated up. I hope you’re hungry.” His voice was warm and clearly aiming to put me at ease. It was working.
“Starved. I had an early shift this morning at work and that seems to throw my whole day off.” The constant changes in my schedule was one of the things that drove me crazy about the job.
Marcus latched on to the change in topic. “Do you like working nights better?”
“I don’t know. The pay’s better in the evening, but you end up sleeping in the next day and it never feels like you get enough rest.” I laughed. “I sound terrible. I think the problem is that I’m not sure it’s what I want to do anymore.”
Shutting the door behind us as we walked into the house, he gave me an understanding smile. “I can relate to that. I’m getting close to the point where I have enough time in to retire, but figuring out what to do next is difficult.”
“It’s a hard decision to make. I’ve got this friend who keeps pushing me to do something else, but it’s that what else that’s the problem. I’m not sure if a new job would turn out to be any better. At least right now, I have flexibility and I’m mostly working on my own without a lot of people who might drive me nuts.” It was nice to have someone who understood.
“Yeah, sometimes it feels like better the devil you know.”
“Right. I don’t want to quit this job and realize my new career that everyone else thinks is so much better is actually worse.” How was I supposed to make the decision? Just randomly jump into something new and hope it worked?
“It’s hard. I’m still not sure how to figure it out and I’ve been able to see this coming for quite a while. I kept telling myself it would get clearer when I got closer to retiring, but now that I’m closer, it’s not any better.”
Marcus kept his hand on my shoulder as he walked me through a good-size living room. With a large oversized couch that took up most of the room, it would have looked like a typical bachelor pad except for the little things that gave it a homey feel. A throw on the back of the couch, a shelf full of books and knickknacks, and some pictures of mountains on the wall that seemed like he might have taken them himself made it comfortable.
The kitchen was the same way, clean and modern but with little homey touches. And the smells coming from the oven were amazing. “Is that cookie jar shaped like a dick?”
Marcus threw his head back and laughed. “Yes. It was a housewarming gift from a few guys at the precinct. They’d even filled it with penis cookies from this bakery that does bachelorette parties.”
“So you’re out at work? And they’re cool with it?”
He shrugged. “Yes, and most don’t have an issue. There are always a few assholes that feel threatened, but for the most part, no one cares. It was harder when I first joined. Back then I kept it to myself, but now, aside from the occasional jokes,” he nodded toward the cookie jar, “it’s good.”
“But nobody knows about the…the other stuff?”
“No. Just the people at the club and a few close friends. The daddy part is harder for people to understand. If it was more mainstream BDSM, I’m not sure they’d care. With the way I look, it would be expected, probably.”
I coughed to cover a giggle. He was broad and tall and his short hair gave him an almost military look that made him seem stern.
“At first glance, maybe.” Marcus might look tough and like the stereotypical cop if you weren’t trying to see more, but to me, he was everything I’d ever wanted in a daddy. Strong and capable, tender and careful, he made me want to curl up on his lap and let the rest of the world fall away.
Now if I could just tell him that.
This wasn’t like meeting the ass at the club, and it was nothing like what happened when I was a kid, but still…the nervousness pulled at me like a jealous lover that didn’t want to be left behind. It was a crazy unhealthy relationship, but one I didn’t know how to get myself out of.
“Come on. Let’s head outside and I’ll put the steaks on.” He led me out to the back yard. I was disappointed when he stepped back to go over to the grill. Walking over to a comfortable-looking patio set, I sat down in one of the chairs that surrounded a smaller round table. He must have seen something on my face because when he turned back to look at me, he gave me a wink that looked so wrong I had to laugh.
Grinning, he put the steaks on. The way he watched them reminded me of a mad scientist checking his creation. He was so intent and focused it was cute. When he was satisfied with how they were doing, he glanced up at me. “I was thinking we could go up to the museums next weekend. What’s your work schedule like? Do you have plans already?”
“I’ve got to work on Sunday, but Saturday’s free. There isn’t as much need on the weekends this time of year.” And my life was boring enough that there wasn’t much to interrupt. “Sometimes I go out with friends on Saturday nights, but I’ve been bowing out lately. And I promised my aunt that I’m going to visit her later in the week, but Friday night works for that.”
“Then how about we go up Saturday morning and make a day of it?”
“Sounds like fun.” And it did, but I was still uneasy about the conversation that was coming later. I reminded myself he wasn’t going to walk away, because he liked age play too, but it was harder than it should have been.
“Great. Why have you been avoiding your friends?”
I’d kind of hoped he hadn’t heard that part, but it was probably good practice sharing things with him, so I took a deep breath and charged in. “Things have been getting stressful lately. It’s the same group of people I’ve hung out with since college and they’ve always seemed open-minded, but now I’m not so sure.”
Marcus gave me his full attention now, his watchful gaze attentive and concerned. “What do you mean?”
I sighed. “There’s something going on with my friend Nathan. He’s got this new roommate, and it’s making everyone crazy. The guy seemed nice to me, but one of my other friends is convinced something’s wrong. He’s kind of…controlling, maybe…” I shook my head. “I’m not sure that’s the right word.”
“Controlling in a bad way, or more like—” He gestured between us and I fought the blush that I knew was trying to creep up my face.
“I don’t know. Not the bad kind. At least, it didn’t seem that way. And Nathan doesn’t mind. He’s bouncy, and the guy seems to balance him out.” I’d been a little afraid that I was missing the bad part because I liked take-charge guys, but Nathan’s roommate kind of reminded me of Marcus. He had the same quiet firm thing going for him.
“If your friend doesn’t mind and it seems to be making him happy, I wouldn’t worry about it.” Marcus thought for a moment before he continued, “Would he keep it to himself if something was wrong? Then I might be concerned.”
I had to laugh. “Nathan’s super honest and says everything that comes to his head. It was weird when I first met him, but now I’m used to it.”
“Then I’d have to say not to worry about it, but to keep an eye on him.”
I was feeling guilty about ditching the last couple of nights out with everyone. I may have told them that I’d been working a lot of weekend night shifts lately. “I’ll make more of an effort to go and see what’s happening.”
“If it is a BDSM relationship of some kind, he might need someone to talk to.” Marcus didn’t state the obvious, but I could fill in the rest of what he was thinking.
There was no way I was going to talk about us to someone else.
“How are the steaks coming? You planning on feeding me anytime soon?”
He shook his head, but let me change the conversation anyway. “Almost ready. And everything inside is all set.”
“What was in the oven? It smelled great.” Just thinking about it had my stomach rumbling.
“Homemade mac and cheese. Not the usual side, but it sounded good.” He looked like he was fishing for approval and I thought it was sweet.
Thankfully, it sounded great and my mouth started watering. “Sounds delicious.”
“Good.” Marcus poked at the steaks a few more times, then pulled them off the grill. While he carried the plate with the cooked steaks, I grabbed the dirty stuff and we started walking to the house.
Marcus opened the door, giving me a smile. “Come on in.”
“Thanks.” My shoulder brushed against his chest and a shiver raced through me. If Marcus noticed, he didn’t say anything.
“When we’re done eating, I’ll show you the rest of the place.”
It should have sounded innocent.
It probably did.
But to me, the words were filled with meaning. He wanted to show me the nursery. Was I ready for that? No. Would I ever be ready for it? No. Not without someone else pushing me a little. But that’s what a daddy did, right? Kept you safe and loved you but didn’t let you hide from things.
“Okay.” It wasn’t much of an answer, but by the look on Marcus’s face it pleased him, so I couldn’t regret it. I just hoped I’d feel the same way later.