3

LEVI

 

“Christ, how can something so cute do what you just did?” I get just the smallest of coos in answer, and my chest tightens.

As she looks up at me, I forget the bomb in her diaper and the sticky mess on her face. Damn, she's fucking cute. Her pretty eyes are bright and innocent; paired that with her chubby cheeks and red curls, and she’s just the cutest nugget I ever laid eyes on. And, she’s mine.

Maybe I don’t have the proof, and lord knows taking Isabel’s word for is asking for it, but as far as that little baby is concerned, I’m her daddy. After Iz dropped her off and left smoke trails in her wake, I didn’t even question it. Maybe I should. Maybe I should ask one of the Coopers, or anyone better qualified than me, to take the little Princess.

But, the moment I held her, I knew I wanted to do right by her. Hunter might be right about me getting DNA results out, but right now, I don’t care about test results. I don’t need them.

“What we do need, Nugget, is a name for you, huh?” I talk to her as I watch the phone I’ve propped on the pillow above her. Diaper changing 101 on YouTube.

Iz left me two tiny bottles, four diapers, a half can of formula, two outfits and a folder of papers. Nothing else. No toys or pacifiers, no socks or shoes, and no idea what her name is or how old she might be.

The papers gave me some of those answers. My little nugget is three months old, born on June 17th. Those papers told me when and where she was born. They also tell me that, on paper, I am her father. Because her last name is Holt. But, her first name? Yeah, Iz didn’t bother with that. I was furious when I went through those papers and found the truth.

The little nugget came a month early, which explains Iz’ visit when I’d come home with Brynn. Already looking for someone to take over something she couldn’t handle. Since Iz couldn’t take her from the hospital till she was at least a month old, Iz tried to be a mother for barely two months. And tried is a term I use loosely since the bitch didn’t bother to name her.

“How about.... Belle? Nah too close to her name. Maybe...Ariel...nope scratch that. All Ariel’s are slut buckets, nugget. Why am I going Disney Princess anyway?” I finish with the diaper and tuck her fidgety little legs into a fresh outfit.

Last night I got just a few essentials. Things even an idiot like me knew I would need for a baby. Now, I’m headed to get the shit I didn’t know I needed. I bundle the nugget up in the tiny coat I picked up last night—it’s not cold yet but I rather be over cautious—still calling out names as I head out to my Uber.

The driver helps me get her situated in the little seat, as I mentally add one of those to my checklist. And a car. I don’t drive because I’ve never needed to. I see mothers on the L all the time with babies in strollers or carrying-deals. Taking that sweet little Princess on the same train I’ve watched people puke, fight and fuck on is out of the question.

“First weekend with her?” My helpful uber driver asks as he smiles back at us in his rear view.

“Something like that.” I nod back with a smile as I reach out to the little nugget. Like she did the first time Iz handed her to me, she smiles, clutches my thumb with her tiny fist and steals my heart.

We talk in those noises she makes until the car ride puts her to sleep. Definitely need a car. Last night was tough; the little thing was up and down, I must have fed her six times. Piglet. I smile though, because I don’t feel tired. I feel alert and alive and in a way, excited. I let her keep a hold of my hand as I text the date I had lined up for tonight.

Me: Can’t make it tonight. Sorry.

Date: Levi, baby I wanted to see you. Is it work?

Me: No. It’s another girl. I smirk at the sleeping Princess beside me, because it’s the truth.

Date: Is it Bambi? You know, she and I, we can have fun together. My eyes roll at her slutty attempt to keep me interested.

Truth is, that shit never did interest me. I mean, it was fun a few times. Certainly, helped numb the pain my fuck ups with Iz left me with. But I was never that guy. Never wanted to be like Hunter, burning myself out on pussy.

He might be my best friend—and he is even if he doesn’t say so—but he’s lucky he found someone like Lola who ignored the numbers he’d stacked up. A lot of women can’t get past that. Even Charli struggled with Cage’s past, I knew. Hunter and Finn made Cage look like a Night Guard who had taken a vow of celibacy.

I didn’t have numbers stacked up. I didn’t remember their names like Hunter did. Didn’t keep track like Cage or let them be rated like Finn. I used them to chase away the loneliness and numb the pain. It’s how Iz and I got started and how we ended.

“Careful with that one.” Hunter warned me over a year ago as I headed out of O’Malley’s pub with Isabel.

“Doubt she wants me to be too careful.” Was my pointed reply as we both looked her over.

Isabel was new to Chicago, yet had found a place at the pubs, with all the men in uniform. I’m sorry, men and women. She had no preference. By the time I met her, the badge bunnie routine was the norm with the guys from Station 71. Enough that both Hunter and Finn had been with her before me. Their warning should have been like a five-alarm bell, yet I ignored it.

Like an idiot I ignored the truth. My friends had all been with her. Done dirty shit with her, some of them at the same time. I’d actually watched her come out of the bathroom with Diggs, a cop buddy of ours, and another woman once. I knew what they had been doing. Yet, when she approached me a few months after I met her, I ate her bullshit up with a big ass spoon.

I’d just passed my final completions and was celebrating. Isabel wanted to help me celebrate. Offered to let me and Hunter tag team her. I was embarrassed by the offer, honestly. I mean, I’m a guy with a working dick and she’s hot as shit.

Shimmery copper hair, lovely face with blue eyes and fair skin. Nice ass and great tits. But, I just was never like the rest of my brothers. I didn’t want to lose myself in someone who so many others had gotten lost in before. It felt dirty. Because it is dirty.

“Not tonight, Iz.” Hunter was no saint but he knew what I was about, and he respected that.

“Just rookie, then?” Isabel had turned her sultry look my way and for one night, for one moment of one night at least, I didn’t feel alone.

I knew how it worked. There were hotels near all the pubs we frequented. One of Hunter’s many rules. Do the deed where the evidence just blends with the rest. I expected to head to one of them, fuck Isabel until my fear and pain went away long enough for us both to come, before we’d part ways. That is not how Isabel did things that night, though.

“Let’s eat, rook. And I mean food.” We had just hit the clogged streets when she changed things up on me.

“I thought you wanted...” At twenty-two I was no virgin but my experience paled in comparison to hers, and we both knew it.

“Oh, we will, rook. Feed me first.” Isabel had a way of getting you to do what she wanted.

I don’t know why she chose me that night. Why she laughed and opened up to me and no one else. I have no idea why we didn’t fuck for almost a week. Why when we finally did, at her place, she was shy and sweet. I have no idea why, if just for a moment, it was so different than before. It was just a moment, though.

For that moment, I thought I was in love. Iz showed me Chicago and herself and I loved every inch. Iz was wild and reckless and we both came from nothing. While I wanted to have something, Iz never wanted for more.

Two months in, with us fucking our way around Chicago with no promise of more, I knew it was never going to be more. I didn’t know what more I wanted, but I knew Iz would never give it to me.

Like anyone in my position would, I walked away.

For weeks, I watched Iz replace me with men I’d called friends. Men who didn’t know they were crossing lines because Iz never drew any. Tired of watching from the sidelines, I joined the game. Chose a waiting and willing bunnie from the pack and headed for the nearest hotel.

I wanted to get back on the field, I told myself. Bullshit. Total bullshit. What I wanted was to make Iz admit we were different. Even if we both knew we really weren’t.

“Levi!” I am still shamed at the cocky pride that burned through me when Iz followed us out.

“Go back inside, Iz.” I’d bellowed, burrowing into the softness of the stranger I told myself I could fuck away my pain with.

“Take me with. I don’t want to watch you be with someone else, Levi.” The other bunnie was down for anything of course.

“But I can watch you be with everyone else, right?” Iz was smart, smarter than she wanted anyone to know and I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing.

“We both know nothing lasts. Neither of us know how to do this. Know a single thing other than being selfish. You still want to try?” I thought I loved her, thought what we had looked as close to love as I’d ever seen.

Like a fool, I said yes, I wanted to try. Our idea of trying was starting back up that night. And included that bunnie. Two days later, we were married, the bunnie standing in as witness. The only bunnie whose name I knew, because it was on my marriage license. Truth was, we never really did try. Not enough to make a marriage work. Hell, not enough to make anything work.

“Here you go, man,” The driver’s cheery voice called, bringing me to the present, “Need help with that?”

He nodded towards the baby seat, but I was a fast learner. “No, I think I got it. Thank you, though.” I scooped the nugget out, bringing her close to my chest.

After shoving some cash, more than enough to cover the fair, into his hand, we climbed out. Although I knew I needed more for her, I didn’t know what, exactly. I may be willing to take care of the little Princess but I wasn’t pretending I knew how to. I had no siblings so I had really no prior experience. And, it wasn’t like I could call my parents for some input.

After they died, I had never been so lost. One moment we were a family, we took vacations to Disneyland and my dad played ball with me in the back yard while mom baked cookies. I had that kind of life.

In a flash of fire and smoke, it was all gone. I had nothing left, not even photos to remember them by. Hunter always looked at me after we had a rough call, one that maybe we weren’t in time for or went bad, as if he was waiting for me to lose it.

It’s not like he was wrong to worry. The very first time we’d had a bad call, I had lost it. They didn’t know that, none of them did. I thought Hunter might sideline me and I couldn’t have that. I did this for my parents. Because of kids like me.

If I could stop one kid from having that empty, lost feeling I’d carried around like a cloak for so long, it was worth it. Hunter’s cautious look hadn’t been aimed at me in a while, but mostly because we were fucking good and bad calls didn’t happen often.

Now, carrying that tiny infant into Twinkle, Twinkle, I wish I had someone to ask. Someone to tell me what to do. To tell me if I was making the right choice by her. Did a firefighter who had no one make for a good father for a little Princess? I had no idea, but I thought I might be a better choice than a woman who can’t even give the child she carried for nine months a fucking name.

“Levi?” Lola’s voice makes me jump, mostly because I don’t expect it but also because she’s always bright and on. Like pretty neon.

“Hey Lola Bear! Your brute of a husband didn’t send you to look after me, did he?” My eyes drop to her cute rounded belly, where her tattooed left hand smooths back and forth.

“No, handsome, he did not. Hunter let me know your whore of a wife left a parting gift, though.” I winced a little, not for her slight against Iz-because let’s be honest, it wasn’t off—but because the nugget heard it and began to squirm.

“That she did. I figured since she handed her over, bow and all, I couldn’t refuse her, right?” We were just inside the store, and though she said otherwise, I felt like it was a set up.

Hunter suggested this store when I’d mentioned needing stuff for the baby. He knew just as well as I did that I was flying completely blind. I was inclined to believe he suggested the store knowing Lola might bump into me while doing her own baby shopping. Either that or he outright set me up and sent Lola to lead me by the hand like the clueless fuck I was. I’d take it. Just as I began to hand over the baby, I saw her.

Clearly the nugget had altered my focus completely. Because normally, I could sense when Brynn was within twenty feet of me. Now, here she was and I hadn’t even seen her coming. Which was kind of fitting for our entire relationship. Not that we had something you could label a relationship of any kind.

Brynn Gold was a fucking Goddess; men like me shouldn’t even breathe the same air she did. And yet...Brynn was also the single sweetest, sexiest, most captivating woman I had ever met. And I had blown my shot with her.

“Oh, my sweet lord, look at that fucking face!” Lola gushed as she took the baby, cradling her much more expertly than I had.

“Brynn.” I murmured her name, and I was sure it sounded as hungry and foolish as she made me feel.

“Levi.” Those jade eyes swung my way, flickered with something that made my chest thump, then they were gone.

I was aware of Lola cooing, and cussing, at the little Princess but my focus had shifted. Like it always did when Brynn was around. Three months ago, I had her all to myself for three days and it had been fucking epic. Three days of going completely mad for her shy, sexy laughs and that sweet as sin soul of hers. I almost made a move. Almost got it right one night under the stars.

“It’s so beautiful to take a moment and just breathe. To look. To feel. Just be.” I’d never thought like that, but that night with Brynn, I did.

For hours, we sat beneath the stars and barely said a word. Because, it was more than words. It may sound cheesy or sappy, but I felt like I had found something in Brynn. Something I didn’t know could exist.

From the moment, I’d met Brynn at Hunter and Lola’s wedding, I wanted her. We got a little drunk and a lot touchy, but that was it. Until the weekend went on. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and I literally ached to be near her.

The whole crew spent the weekend with Hunter’s family and I was never more than a touch away from Brynn. It never got dirty, never went too far, but something was building between us and we both were letting it happen.

I think Hunter saw it, too. Because when it came time to head back to Chicago, he suggested Brynn go with me. I’d planned to fly back, but cancelled my ticket and rented a car without hesitation. More time with the sweet, sexy redhead? Yes, please.

“We need to get your girl taken care of.” Lola’s voice once again startled me. And I realized I’d never looked away from Brynn.

Brynn, who looked as gorgeous as ever. Bright red hair flowing down her back in bouncy waves. Creamy skin dotted with freckles. Bright green eyes and full, pouty mouth that starred in all my fantasies. What I would give to see that mouth wrapped around my cock. In a bright white sundress, that did nothing to hide her perfect curves, and minty green cardigan she was fucking stunning.

And... she was holding my daughter.

The nugget cooed up at her as Brynn cradled her, their noses nearly touching. Brynn was gazing down at her with softness and wonder on her beautiful face. They kind of looked like they belonged together. Fuck, if that didn’t make me hard as shit. I discreetly adjusted myself as I cleared my throat, nodding at Lola.

“Even if Hunter set me up, it’s not like I’d turn you down, Lola Bear. My nugget needs shit and I don’t know what shit she needs.” I flushed when Brynn looked my way, quirking a brow.

“Of course, you don’t. What’s this gorgeous Princess’s name?” I winced as I gravitated towards them, unable to stay away.

“About that. Isabel did not give the Princess a name.” Fury laced her eyes when they met mine, and fuck, even that was hot.

“Stupid whore.” Brynn gasped, covering the baby’s ears after she said the words.

“Tell me about it. Besides a crib, clothes, whatever else a baby needs, we need to name the nugget.” I was close now, their sweet scents mingling and intoxicating me. The baby fresh and new, and Brynn peppermint and peonies. I wanted to breath that mixed scent forever.

“Poor precious Princess.” Brynn shook her head, pressing her full lips to the baby’s temple.

Fuck, she was driving me crazy and all she was doing was being good. Caring. Being human. Looking at her holding that baby, hearing her coo and whisper to her, my heart seized. I didn’t want to think about why. Couldn’t think about how foolish I had been with Brynn. Right then, I wasn’t thinking at all.

“Let’s name her, then.” I whispered to her, close to her ear. My dick twitched when she noticeably reacted to my breath at her ear.

This was good. This was so good. It meant I still had an effect on her. Even after I’d fucked up. I pressed closer, my hand going to the small of her back. Passerby would look at us and see a cute family and that did shit to me I didn’t expect. Brynn didn’t shy away like she did sometimes, instead she twisted into me, cradling the baby between us.

“What do we call you, sweetness?” The baby made a sound that, to me, sounded like a giggle, and my chest bloomed with emotion.

“Went through the Disney Princesses I know, nugget didn’t seem to approve. Has to go with Holt, because she’s mine. In name, at least.” My eyes flickered to hers and Brynn’s went dark with sadness. I pressed closer.

“I mean I can kind of see you in her, actually.” Brynn smiled before biting it back and gazing at the baby again.

“My...my mom...her name was...Amelia. Think it suits her?” I was pressed against Brynn’s side now, the baby between us, my eyes never leaving her face.

“It does, Levi. It suits her just right. Doesn’t it, Amelia?” I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Brynn pressed into me more too.

“Love it. Welcome to the family, Amelia. Now let’s get you taken care of, yeah?” Lola made a sound of excitement and snagged a cart, leading the way.

I followed, Brynn beside me with Amelia, my hand still touching her. I moved it against the soft, thin material of her dress and she shuddered again. Brynn slid a look my way and I smirked back. Watching her, I let my hand slid lower, over the plump curve of her ass.

It was impossible to miss that shudder, or the way her jade eyes turned smoky and dark. My cock certainly didn’t miss it. But, we weren’t here today for me to get a piece of that ass. As badly as I wanted it, I wanted something more.

As we circled the store, letting Lola fill the cart with whatever she insisted Amelia needed, I was formulating a plan. And keeping Brynn and my daughter close to me. My chest ached with something I didn’t have a name for whenever that baby smiled or made a cute sound. Or gazed up at Brynn like she was the most perfect person she had ever seen.

It made my plan more a necessity than a plan. I had no clue how to care for Amelia. None. But I was going to because I already couldn’t think about walking away. I wanted to give her anything, everything I had never had. And, it was obvious to me she wanted one thing more than the diapers and toys Lola was stocking her up on.

Amelia adored Brynn, maybe as much as I did, and I was going to see to it my daughter got her. And, maybe I would too.

“Let me hire you.” I said it loudly, blurted it out in the crib aisle as the girls cooed over pretty set ups.

“What? For what?” The entire hour we had been in the store, Brynn never let my daughter go. Never stopped bouncing her, never got tired of her noises or the way she burrowed against her, slobbering all over her tits. Can’t say I wasn’t jealous about my daughter motor boating my dream girl.

“Hire you. To take care of her. While I work.” That sounded better than the desperate pleas moments before.

I paid attention to Brynn and what was going on with her. As best I could, at least. I knew she was still here visiting, four months later. I knew she hid shit but wanted someone to ask. And I knew she was afraid people would judge her for those answers. I also knew loneliness when I saw it. The girls had welcomed her and they were close, but Brynn was lonely still. And I wanted to fix that for her. And for me. But, first. Priorities.

“Come here.” I was anxious as I tugged Brynn aside.

Lola watched us go with a knowing smirk. I glanced back at her and she pointed her chin out. Well, shit. Seems I was about as obviously about my interest in Brynn as I’d feared. Cool it, idiot. Leading Brynn to the nearest changing room, I ushered her in and locked the door behind us. I wanted to pin her to the mirror behind her, hike that dress up and fuck her till all her freckles popped out. I had thought about that often, actually. But, I digress.

“I need you, Brynn. I don’t trust people. I don’t trust anyone but us, actually. Amelia needs someone to hold her that way, to talk to her the way you’ve been talking to her. Her mother won’t be back to do it. Didn’t care enough to name her. I don’t want my daughter to ever be touched by that. To know what happened. I don’t know what I am doing. I could let Hunter and Lola take her, or go to an agency or something, I suppose. I don’t want to. I don’t even know if Iz was telling the truth. How do I know she’s mine?” I spoke my doubts aloud because, like I’d said, I trusted her. More than she knew.

“Doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t. She’s a holt, Levi. You said so yourself. She’s yours on paper.” I nodded as she bounced the baby on her hip, the sight doing crazy shit to my head.

I wanted to see her pregnant. Round and soft, and mine. The thought came out of nowhere and I knew it was ridiculous and yet, there it was. Fuck, I wanted her. More than I’d ever wanted someone. Even Isabel. It felt soul deep, how badly I wanted her. But, for now, I meant what I was saying. Amelia needed her more.

“Exactly. Amelia is mine. It’s fucking crazy and most guys might not even consider it, and maybe I’m a fucking idiot because I never, not for once second, considered otherwise. I want to do right by her, Brynn. I need you to help me. I don’t know what I am doing, and I can’t be there all the time. I can pay you. You can stay here. With us. With all of us.” I almost choked on that last sentence, because way to be transparent.

“I don’t...I don’t know Levi. I mean. I don’t actually know when I am leaving.” As I watched, she began to give in to the idea, so I pressed on.

“You won’t be leaving. You don’t want to, Brynn. Look,” Fuck it, I was going live here, “I fucked up with Iz. With some bunnies. I fucked up with you. That’s what I do. I don’t want to fuck it up this time. Look at me, Brynn.” My voice was heavy, hungry as I pressed closer. That shudder was there again and my dick ached, but it wasn’t about that right now. It couldn’t be.

“Levi...” Her voice was breathy the way that drove me crazy and I moved my face into her neck.

“I wanted you, baby. I did. I do. Fuck, don’t think I didn’t. Don’t think I ever won’t want you. I fucked up, I know. It was a bad time and I can’t tell you how bad I wish I had it back. That night. That morning. This is not about that. I swear to you. I am not using my daughter to get into your panties.” My lips pressed to the pulse at her throat and we both groaned. Then Amelia cooed and I pushed back a little.

“How long?” My mouth moved up to her ear, my hips pressing into her. It wasn’t about how bad I wanted her, but fuck if I could fight what my body wanted.

“As long as she needs you. Brynn, please. I won’t let this be about what I want for myself. I won’t do that to you. I want her to have whatever she needs. She needs you, baby.” It had been months since I had talked to her like this, but if felt so natural. So fucking right.

The night under the stars had changed everything for me. Brynn just didn’t realize it. I had been broken by Isabel, yes. But not because we were a great love. Just because I hadn’t felt lonely with Iz, at least not at first. For the first time since my parents, I had someone. Until she was gone and once again, that loneliness opened up like a dark cave welcoming me back home. Then I spent three days in a car from Mississippi to Chicago, and one night under the stars with Brynn.

I held her and touched her and she cracked that cave wide fucking open. I spent one night with her under the stars, being and feeling and touching the world around us and I’d never be the same. Isabel was waiting for me when we got home and Brynn thought I’d lied to her. And, maybe I had. Because I didn’t tell her what she made me feel, that it was like nothing else I’d ever felt. But I never got the chance to explain.

In the months since, I was lost and confused about my divorce, about my life, but never about the redhead who had stolen the parts of me that felt shit. Every time I got near her, they pulsed back to life. Only when I was near her. Which, thanks to Lola marrying Hunter, was often. I went to everything Charli invited me to. Cookouts and game nights, dinners and festivals. Each time hoping I could get a few more moments under the stars with Brynn.

Brynn shifted slightly and the baby was cradled between us again. Her chin lifted, those pretty jade eyes meeting mine. Fuck, she was beautiful. I knew her past, knew she came from privilege, but I saw past her refined edges and perfect poise. I saw her rough edges and the way she was never quite balanced. It’s what drew me to her, really. 

“I should go back to Boston, Levi. It’s been months.” My hands shifted from her hips, up to wrap around her slender neck.

“You don’t want to. I told you...I paid attention, Brynn.” Between us, the baby cooed, snuggling into Brynn as she watched me with a half smirk on her cute face. 

I’d be a damn liar if I said I was okay with the idea of Brynn going back to Boston. I wasn’t okay with it. I wasn’t ready for it. It had been four months and I’d wasted my time. I had so many chances to talk to her, to try again, to tell her the truth about that weekend. About that night under the stars. Instead, I had been waiting for...I don’t know what. 

I could say I was waiting for my second chance. For the stars to come out again, the right music to play, the moment to be perfect. It was bullshit. I was fucking terrified of Brynn; of getting that second shot and then her ripping me to shreds like the ones before her. I was a fucking coward and I knew I didn’t deserve another chance. 

But, Amelia, she deserved a chance. 

“How would we do this?” I almost whooped when Brynn went soft on me, bright white teeth biting back the smile she didn’t want to give me. 

“I got some time, I plan to take it to get some stuff figured out with Amelia. Get her situated at my place. You could help me with that, if you had the time. When I go back to work, I would just need you to look after her during my shifts. Until you need to go. Or until we figure something out for her.” Brynn looked away and I knew what was coming next. Could feel it in the tremor of her body.

“You won’t...it’s about Amelia, right? Not about you or me, or...anything else.” When those eyes swung back to me, I felt it like a punch to the gut. I had hurt her and that fucking killed me. 

“This is about her. I want to do right by her, Brynn. I know I don’t get another shot with you, no matter how much I may want it. I can’t lie and say I’m never going to slip,” I pressed closer, breathing her sweet vanilla crème scent into my lungs, “Can’t promise I won’t ever forget that it’s not about you and me and everything else.” My hand lifted, the back of my knuckles smoothing down her jaw as I watched her eyes darken.

“Levi...please...don’t.” Brynn twisted her face away, focusing on the baby, on walling herself away from me. I couldn’t blame her. Just like she couldn’t blame me when I tore those fucking walls to the ground. 

“I promise to behave as best as I can manage, baby. I just...I know what it’s like not to have anyone. To wonder where I belong. I don’t want her to feel like that. Doesn’t matter what Isabel did or didn’t do; or who she is or isn’t willing to be. What matters is that my nugget feels like someone gives a shit about her. Because, I do.” I back away, all the way to the door behind me, my hand on the handle. 

The air is thick again and I have to fight back the urge to pin her to the wall and kiss the shit out of her. Only thing that stops me is that baby. And not wanting to blow another chance. I know her answer before she tips her head up, pins me with those eyes and breathes it out. 

“I thought I might stay a while longer. Might as well be sure little Amelia gets situated right. I can do that, Levi. Nothing else.” Again, her chin lifted and the baby cooed and I had to look away. 

She’s lying and we both know it. The tremor of her voice with its eastern accent, the way her pretty eyes dart away before I can pin her with my own look. All neon signs pointing to her lie. For now, I can allow the lie because, for now, I need to lie too. I need to pretend that Brynn is my employee.

I ignore the twitch of my dick when I consider that. Consider her reporting to work as my nanny. Her and all that thick crimson hair piled atop her head. Glasses, maybe. Little skirt and cute cardigan. Thigh high stockings and Mary Janes. Jesus. I can’t think about her that way. At least, not right now.

“Thank you. I promise to behave. At least, I promise to attempt to behave. I won’t lie to you, baby, it ain’t going to be easy.” I back away, hand reaching behind me for the handle.

“Start with calling me something other than baby. Finish with remembering who did what four months ago, yeah?” I winced and nodded, pushing the door open and stepping out.

“Trust me, Brynn,” I breathed her name as she passed by me, loving that shudder she couldn’t hide, “I didn’t forget. Not a fucking second of it.” I watched her hips sway in her dress, that perfect backside making my hand itch to smack it. Just once. Hard.

Lola had not bothered to wait. I spotted her a few aisles away, cart full of baby items I couldn’t even begin to describe. The girls wouldn’t let us leave until I had everything they considered necessary. I didn’t argue, not even when the total ended up with more zeroes than I expected. The cost didn’t matter to me. 

I wanted Amelia to have everything she could ever need.

Tucking her into her new bassinet that night, I vowed I’d do whatever it took to give her everything. I had meant what I said. DNA didn’t matter to me, because, how could it? Amelia was an innocent who needed someone to make her feel like she belonged.

I could be that person because I knew more than most how it felt not to belong to anyone at all.