I stood, arms crossed, casually at the back of the car park, like I had been told. I gritted my teeth watching a black haired woman cling to Jax’s side like a leech. Perhaps I would be happier if she had been ugly, or looked like a normal whore who would cling to a biker, but she wasn’t. She was beautiful and, when I say beautiful, I mean drop dead stunning, and it only made me want to wring her neck so much more.

“Amber bed, now.”

I looked at Cole with a dry expression. For some unknown reason, all my empty headed brothers had made it their mission to boss the life out of me while on this trip. Ever since we pulled out of the club gates last night, and considering I had already put up with it for 24 hours, I was ready to bring my claws out.

“No,” I snapped back, and stubbornly pushed back to the wall. Like hell I was going to sleep in a dirty old club room; not while my so-called boyfriend was out here with a woman who looked like she had just stepped out of a magazine.

“Amber,” he growled, and stepped in closer; blocking my view of Jax. “We allowed you to come on our conditions, remember?”

I don’t know how Jax had got them to agree to me coming, but I wasn’t going to ask questions. He told me this trip was important to him, and, after much consideration, we decided it best in both our interests to keep our relationship on the down-low while on the trip but lines were drawn, well one line; if he slept with another woman, or women, we were done.

“Fine,” I grunted and shouldered him as I stormed past. I narrowed my eyes at Jax as I strode across the biker club car park, which was packed with members; bonfires sent shadowed light across it.

Pushing their clubhouse door open, I noticed it was surprisingly a lot dirtier than ours; who knew that was even possible.

“Amber?”

“I’m already going to bed,” I snapped over my shoulder to Tyler. “Want to tuck me in?”

“Bitchy much?” Tyler scoffed. “And no, just wanted to check on ya, alright.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I spun around and I noticed the surprise in Tyler’s eyes as he locked eyes with my murderous ones. I just had to keep a lid on it, because it wouldn’t be fair for him to cop the full lash of my anger. “Everyone loves bedtime.”

“Third door down the hall, and don’t take it off the hinges when you slam it,” Tyler said dryly, backing away quickly; most likely the smartest thing he had ever done.

“Who knew the Shield’s had a baby sister?” A deep, amused voice spoke after Tyler shut the door. My eyes darted to the lounge chair, taking in the gruff, older man.

“Who knew couches talked?” I snapped back, before taking in his patches on his vest. Looked like the club President of this chapter didn’t have the partying fire.

“Snappy aren’t we?”

He butted the cigarette out and nodded his head towards the armchair next to him. “Take a seat.”

“Prefer not to, got to get to bed.” Lame cop-out excuse, but, seeing the mood I was in, I knew I could do damage if I chatted with the President. “Night.”

“The Amber I knew didn’t listen to anyone, let alone her brothers. Perhaps it is your new boyfriend that has these sudden reins on you.”

My mouth opened and then shut. For once, I had no comeback.

“Take a seat Amber,” he said, his lips curling in amusement.

“Who… Do I know you?”

“It’s been a few years, but surely I haven’t changed that much?”

I took in his gruff face again… his solid body… his appearance didn’t ring a bell, but, as I took in his tired eyes, it hit me.

“Been a while Grant, although last time I saw you, you weren’t wearing club colors,” I said. I arched an eyebrow at him, “You also weren’t exactly in a fit state. Off the beer, are we now?”

Grant’s chest rumbled with laughter and he shook his head at me as I sat down in the chair to him.

“Tell me, how is my nephew?”

The small smile disappeared from my face as I answered, “Prison.”

Grant’s broad smile went firm into a tight line. “Good leaders often end up locked up for short periods of time.” Grant moved forward in his chair, slightly turning his eyes to me. “So, why are you playing with your brothers when the gang needs a leader? Blake only ever really trusted you.”

“We broke up a while ago,” I muttered. “Things just didn’t work out.”

“My nephew never realized how important you were. I always knew he would lose you.” Grant leaned back in his chair. “Though I already guessed that you had broken up, seeing as you have a new man.”

“What are you talking about?” I crossed my arms. “I don’t have a new man.”

“Went from dangerous, to deadly;” he arched both eyebrows as he spoke, “And I thought you were smart.”

“Don’t know what you are talking about old man. Since when were you a member of the Deadly Dozen anyway? And, from your vest, it looks like you are President.”

“Blake’s father and I were prospects together. He left after a few years to form the gangs that Blake proudly runs now, and I… well… I stayed.”

“Talk about family tension,” I muttered, liking the fact that the subject was now off me. “So that’s why you didn’t wear your patch at the BBQ when I met you.”

Grant nodded his head causally. “Once a year I take it off, for the family.”

“Well I’m guessing your family BBQ is off this year.”

“Considering Blake won’t be attending, I have no need to go.” Grant moved forward and leaned across the chair to me. “Now tell me, why you are dating a walking time bomb.”

“Excuse me?”

“Jax is deadly man, Amber. He isn’t someone you want to get close to.”

“Good thing we aren’t close then,” I snapped at him, while narrowing my eyes. “We aren’t dating.”

“Seeing that he has had his grips wrapped around my daughter for most of the night, I tend to believe you to some degree.”

“The beautiful woman he is with is your daughter?” I asked, shocked.

“Yes, and every time Jax rolls in, she is his pick.”

“And you let him?” Surely Grant wasn’t that much of a pushover.

“Mai goes to him, and I don’t want to pick a fight I can’t win.” Grant lit another cigarette and the chair crackled as he moved in it.

“Jax isn’t that tough,” I grunted, as the memory of him picking me up from the bathroom floor flashed across my mind.

Grant’s deep rumble of laughter brought me out of my flashback, and his wicked smile had my full attention.  

“I suppose he isn’t to women he sleeps with.”

“I’m not a bed warmer.”

“No, you’ve already been kicked out by the looks of it, by Mai.”

“My brothers wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to hear we are together. We don’t have a choice.”

“Your brothers are weak when it comes to Jax, just like I am.” Grant looked at me with a knowing, warm, fatherly smile. “So why are you staying in the shadows?”

Grant knew the headstrong Amber; the one that would put a gun to someone’s temple and not even blink. He’d heard of the girl that could help Blake take a hit out, and eat and laugh, all in the same night. That girl was unstoppable, but now I realized I was only unstoppable because I’d had Blake. Without him, I was robbed of the little strength I had left and now, well now, I was a shell. One that cries when left at home, and whose boyfriend runs around doing whatever he wants. All because I was scared of my brothers?

“I don’t know,” I muttered, rising from the chair. “Jax isn’t Blake.”

Those words settled it. I knew Jax was strong, but maybe his new found love for me wasn’t. Blake would’ve stood up and declared me his, and anyone who got in the way would be shot.

“Not all relationships are crystal clear. Night old man,” I said.

“Don’t let him make you feel weak Amber.”

I stopped in my tracks as I was retreating to the bedroom that I was meant to have been in all this time.

I sighed softly before I began to walk away again. Maybe he was right.

But I still knew I was going to learn the hard way, because I always did.

***

Pulling my arms through the long singlet that stopped mid-thigh, it was clinging to my body from the heat already. I pulled my hair up loosely; I was sick of the heat alright.

The bedroom had turned into an oven and I had the pleasure of staying in here all night. Opening the bedroom door, I allowed the cool air to swish around me, and it felt like taking a dip in a cool pool. Anything would feel cooler compared to the oven I had been baking in.

“Last night’s leftovers have woken,” a guy chuckled to me darkly from a bar stool as I walked into the main living area. His eyes raked up and down my body as he belittled me.

“Don’t speak to her like that,” Grant roared from across the room. The room went silent and only now did I realize it was full. Jax and my brothers were also in there. Suddenly, there was an uneasy tension in the room, as everyone’s eyes darted between me and Grant, all most likely thinking I was his last night.

“How did you sleep Amber?” Grant broke the silence in the room.

My eyes were locked with Jax’s for a moment and then his narrowed with suspicion as Grant spoke directly to me. “Fine, old man,” I said. Breaking my eyes from Jax’s, I strolled across the room to sit next to Grant. “You?” I asked

Conversation had returned to the room, and I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be receiving any more comments from a Deadly Dozen member again. I was thankful Grant had done that; it had saved my brothers from having to come to the rescue.

“Not well enough. Considering you left me in the dark,” he said. His lips curled slightly; he was stirring shit on purpose, making a play on words to make me look guilty.

“Whatever,” I muttered and glared at the floor. Swallow me ground, swallow me I prayed. I hated attention on me!

“Let’s get to business,” Jax’s voice ordered, and I heard his chair legs drag along the ground. “We have a run to lead this morning, as you are aware…” Jax was speaking directly to Grant, making sure his attention was off me. “Clear the room,” he said.

“All people currently in this room are people I trust, so Jax, no need to take this private,” Grant said. I felt Grant’s eyes dart in my direction, as he continued, “Unless there is someone in here you don’t trust, then we can.”

I glanced up at Jax and was surprised to meet his angry eyes directed at me. Did he not want me to be here? He looked as if he was having a debate with himself on whether to order me out or not.  

“The guns. Where are they?” Jax snapped and crossed his arms, clearly coming to the decision he couldn’t ask me to leave.

“At the boatyard. The delivery was smooth. Did you take care of that problem at your end?”

“There wasn’t a problem.” Jax’s voice was firm as he glared at Grant, clearly indicating that Grant just mentioned a subject he shouldn’t have.

“The buyer has changed,” Grant spoke as if he wasn’t receiving a silent death threat from Jax. “The TNS will be buying them. Pick up is still the same place.”

“We don’t know them!” Jax roared “Why didn’t you mention this before? We don’t have a dealer with them, how can we make a deal with someone we don’t trust!” Jax’s voice was booming across the room. I couldn’t believe he could look so threatening.

I wasn’t sure how Grant was facing him off right now, because even I was slightly scared of Jax’s rage at the moment. Slowly, I was beginning to see a different side to the man I cared for.   

“They are paying double and mistrust was their main concern also, until they realized there was someone who they trusted dearly within your organization.”

If I’d thought I was in trouble before, well now I was sure my death was sealed. My brothers were going to kill me. I silently hoped that Grant would leave me out of this, but I had a feeling I was about to get dragged into this fire.

“Who?” Jax asked. “We don’t have any contacts with them, which is why we haven’t dealt with them before.”

I was glaring into the side of Grant’s face as he turned around to face me. His eyes were twirling with humor and cunningness; I was about to be burnt badly.  

“Amber.”

“Amber isn’t to get involved,” Cole interrupted, not even asking why he would say my name in the first place.

“You don’t have a choice. She does the deal or you keep the guns.” Grant looked dryly at Cole “And we all go out of pocket.”

“How do you know them?” Jax’s voice scared me. He was calm and authoritative.

“I just do,” I replied weekly. What could I say? Grant had put me in a hard place on purpose, and I knew why. He was making me face my relationship with Jax, though I would love to know how he’d changed the plans of this deal within such a small timeframe.

“That isn’t good enough,” Jax spoke calmly, with coolness. He was boiling on the inside and I knew within minutes he wouldn’t be as calm because I couldn’t answer his question.

“It’s personal.” My eyes pleaded with him to not question me further; to just leave it be. I could do the deal without everyone knowing my history with the TNS. I hoped Jax had enough trust in me to just let me not answer.  

“Fucking do as you’re told!” he roared at me, and shivers of fear ran up my spine. “Now, how do you know them?”

For once, I wished my brothers would step in and roar at Jax for speaking to me like that. For humiliating me like that! How dare he order me! I wasn’t his to order-around. I felt my rage begin to take over.

I would’ve done this deal for him, because I cared for him and I knew this deal meant a lot to him, but, if he didn’t back off, I knew I would be tempted to tell him I wasn’t going to help.

I attempted to get a hold on my rage, and my fear of him had completely disappeared, because I knew, or hoped actually, he wouldn’t hurt me but

“I’m not a member of your club.” My voice was low and threatening. “You don’t need to know how I know them. All you need to know is that I’ll do the deal.”

“If you think I will hand this deal over to a little girl who has a fuck buddy in the TNS organization, you’re sadly mistaken. This deal means a shitload of cash for us and I won’t let you fuck it up.” His voice was cold as steel, and just like a blade, his lack of trust in me cut through me sharply.

I could scream at him. I could tell him of all the deals I had done with the TNS before. I could belittle him in front of everyone.

But telling him of the deals I had done, or my relationship with the TNS, would only answer his question, and give him reassurance, and right now that was the last thing I wanted to give him.

I stood up from the chair, my eyes squarely locked with Jax’s. “I hope that you find someone who won’t fuck it up for you then,” I said. With that, I began to walk away, the bikers stepping out of my way as I made my way to the door.

“Did I say you could leave?” Jax snapped behind me.

“As you pointed out,” I turned around slightly to glare at him, “I can’t help you.”

I quickly made the last few steps to the door, and walked out of it quickly. I knew as I shut the door that their deal would fail, because the TNS would not deal with them; because, unlike Jax, they trusted me.