“People keep crossing the road,” I hissed up at Jax, as we walked hand in hand down the footpath. 

He was standing tall, his patch on display for everyone to see. His sunglasses blocked his eyes from view, but I think everyone near us knew that his eyes were deadly. I attempted to pull my hand from his grip again, as I saw yet another family cross the street to get away from us.

“Stop doing that,” Jax snapped down at me, and purposely pulled me closer to his side “I’ll think you’re ashamed to be with me.”

Rolling my eyes, I attempted to not be pissed off by his confidence. “When you said let’s go for a ride, I thought we would be going for a ride. Not a ride into town,” I stated.

“Don’t worry Amber, you can cling to me for the whole afternoon.” He smirked sideways down at me, “I’ve just got to take care of something first.”

We came to a stop out the front of a pub; men were leaning over the rail, bottles of beer and cigarettes in their hands. These guys didn’t even care it was barely midday; actually it looked like they had been at it for a while.

“You can wait here or come in,” Jax said as he eyed the few guys who were glaring drunkenly at us.

“I’m not waiting out here,” I scoffed, and holding his hand, I walked into the pub, although he was quick to step in front of me.

Guys and protection, I thought to myself. God forbid a woman walked in front of them. I shot daggers into the back of his head as he guided us to the bar.

“Stay here,” he said, and gently pushed me onto a stool. “I’ll be back.”

“So I either get to be ditched outside of the dirty pub, or inside it,” I scoffed. “Great.”

Jax put his sunnies to the top of his head and I saw his slight eye roll at me. “I won’t be long.” He glanced behind me. “Stay here. Got it?”

“Yep, crystal clear,” I muttered dryly, and spun around on the seat to face the bar front on. I shivered as I felt his hand brush across my lower back as he walked from behind me, leaving me there.

“Want anything?” an old bartender huffed at me, dragging a dirty towel around the edge of a beer mug.

“I’ll pass.” I stated. I purposely turned back around and leaned on the bar behind me. If I didn’t face him, maybe I wouldn’t have to chat with him.

This place smelled like a bad mix of alcohol, cigarettes and stale food. I glanced at the closed door; Jax must have gone in. How long was he going to be?

I sighed. I wanted to ask why he and El had broken up but it wasn’t like I could just come out with that, was it? I bit my bottom lip. He broke up with her… that was a good thing right?

“Get your fucking eyes off her chest!” Jax roared. I snapped my head at him, as he glared murderously across the room at a table full of men. “Fix your top,” he snapped in my direction, before slamming the door behind him.

I didn’t know those guys were even staring at me! I glanced at them briefly, each of them now staring into their beers.

Blushing, I pulled the hem of my top up; it wasn’t like I’d pulled it down on purpose. Annoyed, I got up from the bar stool and walked out, casually brushing Jax’s hand away as he went to hold my hand behind me.

“Amber,” Jax growled behind me, as I took long strides away from the pub and him.

I was flinging my arms at my side as I walked, determined and embarrassed. Geez, Jax. He really knew how to talk to a woman. I gritted my teeth.

Jax caught my hand and pulled me up short, twisting me around to face him.

“Don’t walk away from me.”

“Don’t talk me like that then!” I narrowed my eyes. “Seriously Jax, what do you want? What was the point of this ‘ride’ you wanted me to come on with you today?”

“I thought you might want to get out of the house,” he said calmly, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s not a big deal.”

“I ran away from you last night, remember that?” I arched both eyebrows.

“I’m not making you be with me,” he barked, his jaw clenched tightly and his lips pressed into a firm line.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

His expression still remained the same, and I had the feeling I had already done the damage. Sighing, I let my head drop slightly and I glared at his feet. “I didn’t mean it like that, you know that.” I gritted my teeth, I hated being seen as weak or needy.

“Come on,” Jax said, letting go of my hand. I glanced at him as he walked towards his bike.

Had I stuffed this up? What was I even thinking; there wasn’t an ‘us.’ Running a hand through my hair, I took the helmet he handed me. Without looking at me, he straddled his bike and shielded his eyes with those sunnies I was beginning to hate.

I placed a hand on his shoulder and threw my leg over, pushing myself back a bit so my chest wasn’t pressed into his back, and I wasn’t clinging to him like a Koala.

I placed both hands on his side, lightly. The engine roared to life, and I noticed the way people wouldn’t look in our direction.

Jax placed a foot on each side of the bike, and took his hands off the hand bars. I frowned for a second, before he placed his hands on mine and pulled them around his waist, pulling me into his back at the same time.

He seemed pleased by this, and he placed his hand back on the handlebar and revved the bike, pulling us away from the curb. I couldn’t stop smiling; he’d kept one hand covering mine, on his waist.

We were slowly going up the middle of the road, not caring that we were getting dirty looks from each side. At least the street was wide.

Jax pulled his hand away from mine and placed it back on the handlebar, gripping the brakes. Seeing the light green ahead, Jax revved the bike to the max, and we fled up the street.

I squealed slightly at the surprise increase in pace, and I heard him chuckle. I tightened my grip around him. I caught his expression in the side mirror and stared at his smug expression.  

Laughing, I leaned my head back and enjoyed the air whipping around me. I did notice the 60km sign as we passed it, doing close to 100.

I should’ve been scared, but I wasn’t.

Because I trusted Jax.

***

“Not again,” Jax groaned. “Seriously Amber, why?”

“Because I know you hate it,” I smirked, placing the DVD in the player.

Jax gave me a mock hurt look. “This is the treatment I get after riding around with you all afternoon?”

“You loved having me on the back; don’t make it sound like a chore,” I teased, scooping up the remote and flying into the couch next to him. Sitting on my knees, I watched him cross his arms grumpily and glare across at the TV.

“Come on Jax, don’t be grumpy,” I teased, and poked his arm. “We all know you love Grease.”

Jax shot me a blank expression, but I saw something flash in eyes, before he turned around on the couch and, reaching out for the remote, stole it from me.

“Oi!”

“I’ll give it back in a minute,” he grunted, and placed it behind him.

“Why take it if you are going to give it back?”

“Because the opening scenes of Grease will make me not want to do this.” He flung his arms around me as he spoke, and pulled me across to him.

I gulped, slightly scared. No not scared; nervous.

“Amber,” Jax’s eyes were level with mine, and I felt his chest rising heavily as I was pressed against him. I straddled my other leg over his; now I was a little more comfortable.

“Jax,” I said, mimicking his tone.

“Do you like me?”

I opened my mouth, both eyebrows arched in shock from his blunt question. I think I may have made some incomprehensible noises, while I just sat here looking like a shocked puppet.

“I… umm. Well, you know... umm… define... umm like.”

I wanted to slap myself when I heard that come out of my mouth. God, I wanted Jax to slap me for babbling like that.

“You know what sort of like I mean,”

Jax smirked. Oh his amused look was not needed right now!

“Well, no. I like you as a friend, but you know, nothing else,”

Jax’s face went blank, taking that smirk with it. His hands suddenly disappeared from my lower back and his expression went hard.

“Right, I get it.” He slowly lifted me off him and placed me next to him. Putting the remote in my lap, he added, “You can press play now.”

“Right,” I muttered, and then pointed the remote at the TV, while keeping my eyes on Jax’s clenched jaw and narrowed eyes.

“So Jax, do you like me?” I asked softly, watching for his reaction, but he just gripped his arms tighter as he crossed them.  He was angry, and I had made him angry but I had a feeling he was more angry at himself in this moment, than me.

“No.”

“Pity,” I said slowly, and let out a loud sigh. “Because I lied.”

Jax’s head snapped over at me, so quick that I was sure he had whiplash from it. “What?”

“I said I lied,” I repeated, saying each word slowly and then smirking at the end. “I like you,” I finished.

“Like me,” he repeated, his expression suspicious.

I nodded my head and fiddled with the remote in my hand. “Yep, I like you.”

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Jax spat out, and I giggled at the rush of his words.

“Nothing. Why?”

“Go on a date with me?”

“A date? Have you even done a date before?” I cocked my head to the side and watched as he thought that over. Clearly from his frown, he hadn’t.

“No.”

“So why don’t we just skip that step.”

I smiled and then slowly wrapped my legs around him again, straddling him. “Why don’t you just ask me what you want to ask,” I whispered in his ear.

Three words Jax, I know you can say it. Enough with the games, enough with the time wasting. Let’s just dive in head first. I bit my lip; he would ask, wouldn’t he?

“Amber,” he pulled my head forward, our faces an inch away. “Your brothers will kill you,” he finished.

“No, they will kill you,” I corrected him, hiding my fear of what could come. “Look Jax, I won’t be just another one of your girls. It’s all or nothing.”

“I don’t do girlfriends.”

“You did with Ella.”

“That was different, I did that to piss you off.” He scoffed. “I didn’t care about her.”

“And me?” I arched an eyebrow, and leaned closer into his lips. “All or nothing Jax,” I repeated.

“I can’t have people close to me,” Jax softened, as he brushed the hair from the side of my face, his eyes begging me to understand. “Having you as a girlfriend makes you a target, something that can be used against me.”

“I’m not a flower Jax. I can take care of myself.”

He went silent at that, his hand still on my cheek. “I can’t…”

I pulled my face away and brushed his hand from my cheek. “So, when you asked me if I liked you, you just wanted me to say yes, and then what? You would sleep with me?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I want you as mine, I just...”

“Don’t want to make it official?”

“You don’t get it Amber, I’m not a normal guy!”

“You think I don’t know that?” I leaned back and glared at him. “Do you think I don’t know that every time you guys go out, there is a chance you won’t be coming back?”

I got up from his lap and slapped his hand away as he attempted to pull me back.

“I think you forget Jax, that you’re not the first guy I have fallen in love with that is a criminal.”

His expression went blank as his hand fell to his lap. “Fallen in love with?” he whispered.

I slapped a hand over my mouth. Shit, had I said that out loud? I quickly changed the subject. “Don’t ask me to be your girlfriend, fine, but that means we are just friends, nothing more.”

Jax’s face turned in disgust. “So what, we don’t do anything but watch gay movies together?”

“We can do lots of other things Jax, just nothing sexual because I will be doing that with my boyfriend.” I crossed my arms, “Because I don’t do friends with benefits.”

“You had no problem sleeping with my brother!” he spat, and got up from the couch. “Is he a friend of yours too?”

“That was a one night stand,” I spat back. “I didn’t care about him, but now that I know that there is no future for us, apart from friendship, maybe I will give him a call.”

“Don’t threaten me,” he snarled.

“It wasn’t a threat.”

“Fine!” Jax roared. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“No,” I scoffed and glared at him. “Go screw your whores Jax!”

“I can’t win with you!” he snapped and shook his head. “You are impossible.”

“I wanted you to ask me because you wanted me to be your girlfriend, not because you felt like I made you.”

“Women,” he huffed. “All they do is mind fuck you. This is why I don’t do relationships!”

“You’re not in a relationship,” I pointed out, and glanced at the closed door. I was surprised not one of the guys had come in, given all the yelling. “So you’re safe Jax. You don’t have to have your mind consumed with relationship problems.”

“You know what, fine!” Jax stormed away from me. “I’ve got an endless line up of women who won’t whine at me to be my girlfriend,” he screamed over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry Jax, I won’t be asking you again,” I spat at his back as he opened the door. “We aren’t friends either.”

Jax growled at me before slamming the door behind him, hard.

“FUCKING WOMEN!” he roared outside the closed door, and I heard something being thrown before his heavy footsteps disappeared.

I hated men. No, I hated Jackson.

That was a lie. The whole reason I was this worked up and angry was because… I cared for him. Stupid, selfish bikie he was.