Moving on with your life always comes at a cost.
There’s always something or someone you have to leave behind, or maybe it’s a part of yourself you forsake in order to work towards a better you.
Moving on essentially means discarding something that’s holding you back but when the something you let go of is your own mother, guilt and hope war inside of you with equal measure.
Jake has been busy with Tina since we arrived back from the airport. He has a huge press junket here tomorrow before we move on to Australia the following day, so I use the alone time to call my father back.
“Hi Pud, I’m so happy you called back. Are you okay?”
His voice soothes me in the way that only a father’s can. “Hi Dad, I’m fine I promise. It was reading about James that hurt me the most. She can say whatever she wants about me but to bring his name into it, it’s unforgiveable”
He lets out a long sigh, attempting to clear his voice of the pain that laces every syllable, “I know Pud, I know. I just …… I don’t have the words myself. I’ve not been in contact with your mother since I left her. I’m staying in a Travelodge at the moment until I can find a place of my own.”
This news surprises me but then again where did I expect him to go.
“When I returned to the house to collect the rest of my things, I found a note on the coffee table addressed to me saying that she’s left to go on a month long, world cruise. I don’t understand it. I really don’t. She tears what’s left of our family apart and then goes on a bloody jolly for weeks? No thought to the devastation that she’s left behind.”
A rogue tear slips down my cheek and I try to keep the sadness out of my words when I reply. “Let me help Dad, I don’t want you staying in a Travelodge, why don’t you move back into the house while she’s away? Then when I get back we can find somewhere else for us together. The house is as much your home as hers, don’t let her force you out.”
“I don’t know if I want to stay there by myself, your brothers have their own busy lives and the place just doesn’t feel like home anymore. They both got in touch when they read the article but have stated that they really don’t want to get in the middle of it all and I understand that. I suppose I could stay with one of them for a little while.”
“Please Dad, just until I’m back in the U.K. It upsets me to think of you on your own and I’m on the other side of the world.”
I don’t hide the sorrow in my voice and he is quick to respond, “Hey hey hey, enough of the sadness okay? You’ve been given the opportunity of a lifetime. You get to go and explore the world alongside someone who I can tell adores you. A man doesn’t stand up to a girl’s father like Jake did to me, unless he is trying to protect something precious. So stop worrying about your old Dad and live your life Pud. Live your life, don’t let it pass you by and don’t settle for anything less than amazing.”
My Dad.
My quiet strength.
“I love you Daddy.”
“I love you too Pud. Now go live.”
Go live.
Hours later, I’m soaking in the suites Olympic sized tub, while listening to George Ezra.
Even he seems to be telling me to live; asking me over and over again, what am I waiting for?
What am I waiting for?
I’m done waiting; it’s time to find my path.
It’s time to live my life and to stop wasting precious time trying to figure everything out.
Time to stop letting my future be stolen by an unchangeable past.
“Hey beautiful.”
Jake’s voice interrupts my thoughts, bringing me out of my inner musings.
I look up to find him staring thoughtfully at me from the doorway. His eyes fixed on mine, searching their depths for an answer of his own.
“Hey, you get everything sorted out with Tina?”
He nods at me but doesn’t answer.
I shift my body to make room for him to join me, causing the bubble filled water to splash over the sides. I beckon him towards me with outstretched arms, “Let me bathe you; I swear this water has healing properties because I feel like a whole new person. I’m sure twenty minutes in here with me will wash away all those thoughts that I can see swimming around in your head.”
He offers me a small smile before reaching behind his head and grabbing the neck of his t-shirt; in one smooth movement he drags it off his body and drops it to the floor, revealing his smooth, firm chest and causing my pulse to spike in appreciation.
His gaze fills with lust as he rakes his eyes over the areas of my body that are peeking out from the bubbles. Even though my breasts are totally hidden, his eyes still linger there, like his burning gaze alone will cause the water to evaporate, exposing me to him.
“Twenty minutes in there with you will include a lot more than just bathing. Are you ready for me Emmy?”
I lick my lips in response, the heating of my blood causing small beads of moisture to appear all over my exposed skin.
“Scoot forward, I want to have you in my arms.”
He pops the top button of his jeans then proceeds to unbutton the rest at a leisurely pace, my eyes following his fingers greedily.
“Don’t look at me like that Emmy or I’ll drag you out of the bath soaking wet, lay you out across the tiled floor and fuck you hard and fast. And as much as I’m dying to do just that, I want to get in the tub with you and hold you more. So scoot forward.”
I internally debate ignoring his demand, the floor sounding like a tempting offer but when I tear my eyes away from the bulge in the front of his boxers and look back up at his face, I see love, lust and something else warring for dominance in his features.
Slowly rising from the water so my breasts are fully exposed, I move my body forward just enough for him to get in behind me. I’ve never been this brazen with someone before as I’ve always felt uncomfortable with my body but I have none of those doubts with Jake; he makes me feel confident in my skin.
I feel powerful with his eyes on me, like I am the one holding all the cards; most of all he makes me feel desired, loved and cherished.
Slipping straight in behind me he wastes no time in wrapping an arm around my middle and pulling me back to his chest, his legs bracketing mine, one arm just under my breasts, the other reaching forward to grab with washcloth.
“Lie back, close your eyes and let me take care of you.” His voice is warm and raspy in my ear, sending shivers skittering over my skin.
Taking my body wash from the side of the tub, he applies a liberal amount to the washcloth and proceeds to bathe me, starting at my shoulders and neck.
I instantly relax into his touch, my head tipped back on his shoulder, absorbing the gentle but firm pressure he uses to cleanse me.
“Did you speak to your father?”
His voice is low, almost like he doesn’t want to break the tranquillity of the moment.
“Yes. He’s ….. hurt. My mother has buggered off on a round the world cruise without so much as a goodbye. He’s staying in a Travelodge and I feel guilty for leaving him on his own.”
He moves his ministrations from my neck and shoulders, down to my abdomen; the edge of the cloth occasionally flicking low enough to cause heat to pool between my legs.
“Tell him to take my room at Nate’s. I’ll check with him but I know he’ll be cool with it. That way he’ll get some company when Nate is home and can look after the place when he’s in Ibiza.” He makes the idea sound so simple.
“I don’t think he will but thanks for thinking of him.” I place my hands on his legs and begin to innocently smooth my fingers over his thighs.
“Please stop touching me Emmy, I’m not done washing you and with every movement of your fingers, I’m getting closer to losing it. You will make me embarrass myself like a teenage boy if you carry on.” He groans in frustration when I stop.
“You told me stop.” I chuckle.
“I know I did, it’s just ….. fuck, you drive me crazy. Your presence alone makes me hard, add that to your touch and I’m about to go out of my ever lovin’ mind.”
I giggle, I can’t help it. He’s trying so hard to make this all about comfort but I can feel his raging hard on pressing up against my bum.
“Don’t wiggle around like that either. Fucking hell you are killing me.”
In one swift movement he’s standing and scooping me up in his arms. Water splashes everywhere and bubbles are running down the outside of the tub like Niagara Falls.
I laugh in earnest, slipping in his grasp the more I wiggle around but he doesn’t drop me.
He strides from the catastrophic mess in the bathroom, straight through to the bedroom, water following in our wake.
Still dripping wet, he all but throws me on the bed, leaving me breathless with giggles and surrounded by soaking wet sheets.
He’s not laughing though; he’s just standing there staring at me, chest heaving, cock throbbing and eyes burning with lust.
After drinking in his fill of my wet body with his eyes, he stalks towards his discarded jeans, removes a condom from the pocket and then turns to face me on the bed.
“I want your mouth on me.”
His words are a demand and I love how he loses control with me, unable to ask, desperate to take.
I lean up on my elbows, ready to provide what he wants, my mouth watering at the thought of finally taking him between my lips.
“Stop. Don’t move. Lie back down.”
I never hesitate when he commands me and it surprises me. I never thought I’d like to be dominated in bed but when I have Jake naked, hard and wanting in front of me, his words, his tone and the fierce possession in his eyes are my undoing.
I lie back down, wet and spread-eagle in front of him, just waiting to see what he will do next and the anticipation is almost painful. I want to rub my thighs together to soothe the ache that’s building there.
His eyes wander my body before settling back on my face. I’m practically panting now, my chest rising and falling with each ragged breath.
Without saying another word he steps closer to the bed, before kneeling by my side, not yet touching me.
“Jake.” His name is a plea on my lips; an imploration for more, for him.
Lifting one leg he straddles my waist but not to kiss me, well not to kiss me on the mouth.
His back is to me, the strong muscles rippling as he bends forward until he’s kissing my feet, suckling my toes. The sensation is both erotic and titillating and I have to suppress a breathy giggle.
The impressive view I have helps to distract me; his strong, muscular thighs, his firm, smooth arse and his thick cock, hard and heavy between his legs.
I am about to reach out to touch him, to cup his balls, to rake my fingers down his back, when he slowly begins to move up the bed, bringing that which I want to taste, lick and suck, closer and closer to my greedy mouth.
His head descends between my thighs at the same time he brings his cock down towards my lips and our mouths reach their desired goals at the exact same time, causing groans to simultaneously escape us both.
I undulate beneath him, his mouth and tongue doing wickedly delicious things to me; forcing me to have to concentrate on giving as well as receiving.
I lick, suck, gently nip and swallow as much of him as I physically can. Relishing in the thrusting of his hips and the moans escaping his lips; moans that heighten the sensation of his mouth on my sensitive flesh.
I am just about to cry out my release when he abruptly removes his cock from my mouth, gives my soft, wet and over sensitive skin one last long lick and spins around so we are face to face. I do not have chance to draw in a breath before his lips are on mine, his tongue pillaging my mouth, intermingling the taste of both our arousals.
All other thoughts that previously filled my head float away with my desire.
It’s just us, our still damp bodies and the heady sensations of skin on skin.
Breaking our kiss, he leans up on his elbows, his chest panting, his eyelids heavy, “Say it Emmy.”
His demand is spoken while he quickly and careful sheaths his cock, running the silken tip over my needy flesh.
“I’m yours.”
His eyes spark with possessives and he pushes into me in one strong thrust.
“Mine.”
Moving on with your life always comes at a cost.
The cost to move on with mine had a price tag.
Two million pounds.
Two fucking million.
Does she seriously think I have that kind of cash?
Yes, my earnings have increased significantly since signing up for VB but nothing on that scale. I have no choice. I will come up with the money and put this whole fucking mess behind me.
Behind us.
“Find a way to give it to her.”
My voice echoes off the walls of Tina’s hotel room; the silence of the people surrounding me is more telling than any words.
I run my hands through my hair for the umpteenth time today and get up to pace the room.
“Foxy, you don’t have those kinds of funds at the moment, not unless you sell your soul to a few tabloids or pick up some top advertising deals…”
I interrupt her lecture “Find me some fucking tabloids to sell my soul to then Tina or any deals that pay well. I’ll advertise fucking tampons if they pay me enough to get this bitch off my back for good.”
“Well you could always … “
“No.” I cut her off; I know what she’s about to say because she’s mentioned it twice already.
“I will not bring Emma into this and we are not selling any details of our story, it’s off fucking limits. Find another way.”
“But …” her voice is like the persistent buzz of an annoying fly.
“No fucking buts, this is my mess, she is not to be brought into this. In fact do your best to keep all mentions of her out of the press whenever possible. That shit her mother pulled was fucking despicable. I will not willingly expose her to any more.”
She huffs out a frustrated sigh, “Okay, we will do this your way. Just give me time to put some feelers out there before you go promising your fake baby mamma any cash. Deal?”
“Deal.”
The next hour or so is spent discussing my obligations for tomorrow and the travel arrangements and interviews set up for Australia for the following day.
“I’ll be bringing Emma to the junket tomorrow, she won’t get in the way and she will not be available for any press questions, make sure to have that known. If that means having an interconnecting room for the junket, where she can stay with you guys while I do interviews, that’s fine but I won’t be leaving her behind.”
Tina eyes me speculatively before Nina interrupts, “I’ll make sure it’s in the press pack. That doesn’t mean some of them won’t try to ask. Just be prepared.”
I grab my phone and key card from the table, “If we’re done, I’ll see you all in the morning.”
Just as I’m about to open the door and leave, Tina’s voice comes from close behind me.
“Foxy, hold up.” I turn to face her, one hand still on the door handle.
“I hope she’s worth it.” Her typically stoic face has a softness to it I’ve never seen before.
“And more.” I breathe out before turning my back to her and walking from the room.
Arriving to an empty suite a few minutes later, I check my phone to see if Emma has texted to let me know that she’s left but the muffled sound of music coming from the bathroom is all I need to find her.
The door is slightly ajar and I open it fully to be greeted with a sight that instantly catches my breath and causes my dick to pay attention.
Emma is lying in a bath filled with bubbles, eyes closed, listening to the deep, raspy tone of George Ezra.
She is totally submerged in the water, the bubbles hiding her entire body, except for her tanned shoulders and neck, from my greedy eyes. Despite this I have memorized every curve and sweep of her skin; I know where every freckle and crease is and I can see them all in glorious Technicolor.
“Hey beautiful.”
The rasp in my voice betrays my need and her eyes pop open, quickly roving over my body the way I surreptitiously did hers only a few seconds ago.
Knowing that she wants and needs me, with the same ferocity that I do her, pumps blood straight down to my balls wakening my dick further.
I slowly disrobe and join her in the water. Her back is pressed against my front and my legs surround her body; giving me both a sense of peace and yet causing a raging fire in my belly.
Slowly washing her skin is a tortuous bliss as my libido screams at me to just fuck her, to just take what belongs to me; while my heart tells me to slow down and relish in every second of this contentment.
My libido quickly wins the war and I soon have her spread out beneath me on the king size bed. No care for the soaking wet sheets or the mess we made in the bathroom.
“I’m yours.”
Sinking in to her tight, wet heat with those words still warm on her lips both soothes and excites me. It takes all my self control not to just fuck her; fuck her hard like my body demands, until I’ve branded her with my cock and marked her as mine.
I ignore the beast raging inside and force her to feel every inch of me, slowly and with purpose, until she begs; until she scratches my back with her nails and tightens her legs around my hips almost to the point of pain.
Electricity skates down my spine, settling in my balls and I can no longer hold back. Her volcanic release that is brought on by my pounding thrusts squeezes me from the inside; I grip her hair around my fist, tearing her head back and exposing her mouth to mine. The growl that leaves my chest as I pour myself into her is nothing short of feral. She reduces me to my basest, animal desires.
She. Owns. Me.
Every fucking inch.
Sated and breathless, we lie entwined, like vines.
“Come with me to the junket tomorrow?” I feel her stiffen at my words.
“I’ve already cleared it with Tina, no-one will question you, or me for that matter, on our relationship. You can even stay in another room while the interviews are taking place if you feel uncomfortable. I just want you there with me.”
I can feel her thinking over her response before she settles back into me with a soft. “Okay.”
With that sorted I know I have to come clean about Mrs FML Havers.
“I need to talk to you about something else Emmy and before I tell you, I want you to know that I have to do what I’m about to do. It’s the only way to put an end to this mess.”
Her body doesn’t just stiffen this time, it freezes and I untangle my limbs from hers so I can force her to look at me before she gets the wrong idea.
“It’s not about us Emmy.”
She avoids eye contact, so I gently grasp her chin and force her to look up at me.
“Please look at me.”
Her eyes are glassy, like she is on the precipice of tears.
“I promise…” I lean over her and place a soft kiss on her lips, “…. that I’m doing this for us, I want us to move forward, together.”
My words get her attention and she relaxes a little yet still remains alert.
“I’ve made Tina and Marcus get in touch with Vanessa Havers…” Her body goes ridged at the mere mention of FML’s name.
“I know you said that you believe me and the fact that you do, without me giving you any proof, only makes me want to do this more.”
I kiss her again, needing her to know everything I speak is the truth.
“I’ve asked her what it will take to admit that she’s lying. I want her to publically admit that I’m not the father of her child, that I didn’t break up her marriage and that we are not and never have been, in a relationship.”
Her voice is hoarse when she speaks and she clears her throat before trying to get the words out. “W.. what does she want?”
I search her face, hoping she understands why I am agreeing to pay this woman off.
“Money. A lot of fucking money.”
She wriggles out from underneath me and sits up with her back to the headboard, pulling the damp sheet over her body, covering herself from my eyes.
I don’t know what she’s thinking and the silence is killing me.
Her face is blank, her eyes fixed on the edge of the sheet and a loose bit of thread.
“Talk to me Emmy please. I didn’t tell you to upset you; I just don’t want any secrets between us.”
She takes in a deep breath, her fists gripping the sheet tightly before turning her eyes that are now filled with rage, directly at me.
“How bloody dare she. She is a money grabbing whor…”
I lunge at her, kissing the word off her angry lips, forcing my tongue in her mouth, wanting to steal both her anger and her breath.
She’s not angry at me, she’s angry at FML and I’ve got to say, it’s fucking hot.
So hot that I have to remove the damp sheet from her body, and fuck the anger right out of her.
Fierce, angry sex with Emmy is another new experience for me and has to be one of the most erotic experiences ….ever.
My girl may look like butter wouldn’t melt but she has a fire inside her and God help anyone who stokes that fire by messing with the people she loves.
Like I said, fucking hot.