I'm pretty sure my heart stops when the words come out of Grant’s mouth. We’ve been having a great night, and once the wine started flowing, we started asking stupid questions. They started innocent enough, like what’s your favourite colour and if you could only eat one flavour of ice cream for the rest of your life what would it be? All too soon though they started heading down the more personal path, leading us to where we are now. I was genuinely interested in finding out what kind of guy that revs Grant’s engine, and when he started talking I could feel myself getting hard. He described Niko as his perfect man, and that made my wine muddled brain almost short circuit. Was it possible that Grant had a thing for Niko? I needed to clear my head, and that’s why I asked him what he was thinking. Well that and the sudden blush that coloured his cheeks. He looked flushed and slightly turned on which made me need to know what he was thinking. I didn’t expect that answer though, and my brain is still stuck on it.

Grant is staring at me like he's waiting for me to do something. I'm sure what he's expecting is a punch. He’s actually closer to getting kissed. I have a vision of Niko bending Grant over before slipping into his body, gentle at first before the moment takes them both over and Niko fucks him how he wants. It would make such an amazing sight, both men flushed and sweating, noises escaping from deep in their chests because they can’t hold back. The whole image is vivid and heady, and it’s making me feel a little light-headed as I stare into Grant’s lust-filled eyes. Leaning forward an inch, I almost give in to my need to taste Grant’s mouth and see if his lips are actually as soft as they look, but the moment is broken when the front door opens, and footsteps sound in the hall.

I sit back instantly putting space between us. I can feel my cheeks burn with shame and when Niko walks around the corner, I can feel tears building in my eyes.

“Are you two still drinking?”

Grant looks at me from the corner of his eye, and I notice he doesn’t look in Niko’s direction. Is he feeling awkward because he's attracted to Niko, or is it because he told me about it?

It doesn’t matter which one it is. Grant has nothing to feel shame about, but I do. I have a boyfriend who is everything to me, and still, I nearly kissed someone else. I have no excuses for it. I can’t even blame the wine because I was attracted to Grant before I started drinking. It might have taken away some of my inhibitions, but it didn’t make me suddenly start wanting him.

“Yeah, but it’s late, so I'm going to bed.” I get up from the sofa and leave the room, not stopping to say goodnight to Grant. It must look strange, but all I can think about is escaping.

I don’t stop walking until I get to the bathroom in our bedroom. Suddenly my clothes feel too tight like they are trying to strangle me. I suffered from panic attacks when I first left the compound, but I’ve not had one in months, not since I’ve felt more in control of my life. Tonight I can feel the same feelings start to itch at my skin and I strip down to my boxers, hoping that the fresh air will help me calm down. As soon as I'm wearing just my underwear, I grab the edge of the sink unit and hold on tight. I drop my head and breath deeply.

The tightness passes, but that leaves my head clear to think about what I nearly did. The almost kiss is fucking up all my thoughts, and I don’t know what to do about it. I love Niko, I really love him, so why the hell did I want to kiss Grant? Why do I have an almost bone-deep need to feel Grant’s lips on mine? Oh god, what am I doing?

I hear the bedroom door close, and my heart pounds in my chest as Niko’s footsteps get closer. I close my eyes and drop my head, unable to look at Niko while the guilt eats at me. Even though the kiss didn’t happen, I wanted it to, and that is a betrayal I can’t pretend wasn’t there. Niko stops behind me, his body so close that I can feel the heat from his chest against my naked back.

“Look at me, Core.”

I shake my head.

“Corey.” His voice is louder this time, but there’s no anger. Reluctantly I lift my head and look at his eyes in the reflection. “Talk to me.”

I feel the first tear rolling down my cheek, but I don’t brush it away. No, I need to keep my hold on the sink because if I don’t, I won’t be able to stay standing. “I'm so sorry.”

Confusion and fear cross Niko’s face, and it just adds to the pain I already feel. “What for?”

I want to look away, but I need to own this, I need to be the man I'm always telling Niko to treat me like. I need to face this problem head-on. “I was going to kiss Grant.” Silence follows my confession, and it feels worse than if Niko was screaming at me. We continue to stare at each other, neither of us breaking our fragile connection.

“Are you leaving me?”

I almost stop breathing when I hear his question, and I shake my head frantically as I try to tell him what I can’t seem to get out. I turn to try and avoid his stare, and I gasp when Niko takes a step towards me and his chest presses into my back. A moan escapes when I feel his hard erection rubs against my arse.

“Do you want him?”

I don't know what to do. Lying to Niko isn’t something that I feel comfortable doing, but the alternative makes my stomach sour. How do I tell the man I want to spend the rest of my life with that I want another man, even if it is just for one night. Niko pushes me again as he leans forward and his lips brush against my ear, making me shiver.

“Tell me, Core. Do you want Grant?”

I can’t avoid answering him but words are still proving difficult, so I nod as I struggle to keep my eyes open. Niko takes my ear between his teeth and bites gently, a small growl coming deep in his chest. Where I thought speaking was difficult, I'm finding breathing even harder.

“I think it would be hot to watch you kiss him. You would look so fucking gorgeous together.”

My blood is boiling with the image that Niko’s putting in my head. It shouldn’t turn me on, but knowing that Niko is thinking about us together is everything.

“But I don't just want you to kiss him. I want to see him fuck you. Would you like that, baby? Do you want to feel Grant inside you?”

My arse clenches at his words, the ache to be filled becoming a very real sensation. “Niko.” His name slips out on a breath as he grinds against me.

“You do, don't you? Would it be better knowing that I was watching? I bet you would come harder knowing that I had my dick in my hand while I watch you getting fucked. God, I would shoot so quickly as he ploughs into you.”

He runs his hand down my stomach and grips my very obvious erection. I grab him by the wrist to stop him moving because all it will take is one stroke and I’ll come. This is all too much for me, but I don't want him to stop. “What turns you on more, the thought of getting fucked by Grant or me watching?”

I hope he isn’t looking for me to answer but my current state has no blood making it’s way to my brain. He doesn’t wait for an answer though, slipping his fingers into the waistband of my underwear and pushing them down my thighs until they pool at my feet. I whine when he steps away, and the desperate sound only increases when I hear him undoing his belt behind me.

Dropping my head down I try to focus on my breathing because I'm going to pass out. I can’t seem to get enough oxygen into my lungs even though I'm panting like a dog in heat. My eyes flash open when Niko holds me by the back of the neck, making me open my eyes and look at him in the mirror. He eases his cock in between my arse cheeks and rolls his hips, making his tip press against my tight hole. He doesn’t enter me though, and my eyes nearly cross when he starts speaking.

“You’re so fucking sexy right now, Core. Knowing you’re thinking about another man is turning me on more than I thought it would. I wonder if Grant is thinking about you too since he vanished into his room once you left. Maybe we should make sure he is?” Pressure on my neck forces me to move from my position in front of the mirror as Niko directs me into the bedroom. I think we’re going to head to our bed, but he surprises me by pushing me against the wall that separates our room from Grant’s.

I brace my arms on the cool plaster as I feel something drip onto my arse a second before Niko slides a finger into me. “Oh god, Niko.”

Niko removes his finger and replaces it with his hard cock, easing in slightly as he leans forward to speak in my ear. “Wrong name, baby.”

* * *

I collapse back onto the bed as shivers still spread through my body. Sex with Niko is always mind blowing, but tonight had an edge to it that there’s never been before. I listen to Niko catching his breath and let a small smile grace my lips. I did that to him. I turned him on so much that he took me like a beast.

“Want to talk about it?”

Turning my head to the side, I come face to face with Niko. His eyes are soft, and he doesn’t look angry, in fact, all he seems satisfied. “I don't know what to tell you.” And I don't. These are feelings that shouldn’t be there and the fact that we both used them to improve our orgasms should have me completely freaked out, but I’m okay.

“Are you attracted to Grant? Is it something I should be worried about?”

“No. When I look at him I get butterflies, and it’s confusing, but I know that it’s just attraction.”

Niko is quiet for a minute, and my stomach sours at what he might be thinking. I turn onto my side and cup his face, running my finger along his cheek. “I love you, Niko. No one will ever change that. You are the man I want to be with. There’s no one else.”

“Except you nearly kissed him,” He drops his eyes from mine and focuses on my chest. “And for some reason that doesn’t make me angry.” I’ve never known Niko to look so unsure of anything. It’s like he’s scared to admit what he's feeling.

“Are you attracted to him, Niko?” It’s the one thing I don't know. I know he liked the idea of me being with Grant, but I didn’t think of him wanting Grant as well.

“I want to tell you no, but I think that would be a lie.”

His answer makes me laugh, and once I start, I can’t stop. Niko looks up at me, but it just makes me laugh harder. What the fuck have we gotten into when we are both attracted to the hitchhiker I picked up? That thought sets another round of laughter off, and it takes me some time to get myself under control. When I finally calm a little, Niko pulls me towards him, and I settle my head on his chest. I can feel his strong, steady heartbeat under my cheek and it calms my nerves. No matter what this thing with Grant is, Niko and I will be completely fine. I close my eyes and breath in his scent as he kisses my forehead.

“What are we going to do about this?”

“Maybe we should ask him to leave?” My chest aches as I give the suggestion, but I don't see any way out of it. I haven’t been attracted to anyone except Niko before, so maybe the best thing is for him just to leave.

“He can’t leave.”

I lean up on my elbow and look down at Niko. “Why?” His face is a blank slate, and that’s all I need to know that he’s about to lie to me. Niko has spent his life hiding all his emotions behind a mask, but he's never done that to me. Him shutting down now is the same as someone else merely changing the subject.

“I still don't know anything about him, so he stays.”

Yeah, that right there was a lie. I'm about to ask him why he's lying when I hear the toilet in Grant’s bathroom flush, and I feel my cheeks start to burn. I know it’s not a guarantee that he heard us, but the fact that Grant’s awake increases the chances he did. Who am I trying to kid? The way Niko fucked me into that wall, there was no way that Grant missed what was happening. Thankfully I’d managed not to scream Grant’s name, no matter how many times Niko groaned into my ear that I should.

“Well, that answers that question.”

I look down at Niko who’s smiling like the cat that got the cream. “What question?”

“Whether he heard us or not.” The smile still lights up his face, and I find myself smiling along with him.

Knowing that Grant was awake shouldn’t make what we did hotter, but since I'm getting hard thinking about it, there is no hiding that it does.

I pack the last of my clothes into my bag and zip it up. There’s no way that I can stay here with Corey and Niko after what just happened. I shouldn’t have confessed any of that shit to Corey. Fuck, how could I be so stupid? I pretty much told him that I wanted his boyfriend to bang me, and I highly doubt he's going to keep that secret from Niko. I spent the first hour after Niko came home waiting for him to barge into the room and beat the shit out of me, and when that didn’t happen, I started to relax. Maybe he won’t hurt me, but I'm fully expecting him to kick my arse out once he's finished with Corey. That's something I do know that he's doing. I didn’t realise the walls were this thin, but I swear it sounded like Niko was fucking Corey up against the wall we share. If anyone asked I would say that I went into the bathroom and waited until they finished, but the reality is a lot seedier. What I actually did was sit on my bed with my head leaning against the wall and listen.

I take one last look around the room to make sure I haven’t left anything. I need to get out of this house because it is turning me into someone I don't recognise. I’ve been here less than two weeks, and I feel that everything I wanted to accomplish has gone out of the window. Instead, I have turned into some creeper who listens to men having sex. What the fuck is that about? Grabbing my bag, I head quietly to the door, listening as I move in case I hear anyone else walking around. I hadn’t closed my door when I came to bed, so it opens silently as I creep out of my room. I successfully make it down the hall and out the front door without being discovered.

The night is chilly and I pull my jacket around me tighter before starting down the dirt road. I would like to walk just inside the tree line, but it’s too dark, and I don’t want to risk heading in entirely the wrong direction. I can barely see the ground in front of me, so I take my time as I make my way to the main road. It might take me a little time to get to my car but when I do the first thing I'm going to do is call Sam. I know it’s late, but I don't think he ever sleeps. I need him to start investigating Niko and his involvement in Blue Diamond immediately. I don’t know how he will get any information on Niko, but I need him to try. I am convinced that he was working at the compound at the same time as Corey, so they probably knew Drake. The link between the men is there. I just need Sam to prove it for me.

My stomach lurches as I think about Corey in that place, forced into prostitution. The thought of all those men using him like he was nothing hurts. He is such a fantastic guy that he deserves to be treated like a freaking king. I think that's why Niko is so protective of him and I can’t blame him, if I had to watch the man I love being sold over and over again I think I would go insane. That's another reason I should leave before Niko can ask me what happened with Corey, because I have a feeling he would realise I wasn’t telling him the truth when I said I didn’t want Corey, and the truth might get me hurt.