My heart is racing as I help Grant limp in through the front door. Niko would lose his shit right now if he could see me bring a stranger into our safe haven. He’s away chasing a hidden danger, and here I am potentially inviting it into our house.

“Come on. I’ll show you to the spare room.”

“Corey, I’m grateful for this, but there’s no need.”

I don't bother listening to his protests as I lead him through the hall towards the bedrooms at the back. I should take him to the living room and ice his ankle, but I want him to be as comfortable as possible. Inviting him into my private areas doesn’t scare me though. I don't know what it is about him, but I don't feel threatened. I’ve been shared around by a lot of men in my life, and it’s created a deep mistrust of strange men. It’s different with Grant. From the minute I saw him falling into the ditch, I wanted to help him. He looked so pathetic lying at the bottom of that embankment that I'm sure he couldn’t mean any harm to anyone.

I kick the spare room door open with my foot and head to the double bed under the window. The cabin isn’t huge, and today I'm thankful that I don't have to walk far with Grant. I release his waist, and he wobbles a little before balancing on one foot. I look between him and the bed I left him next to, not understanding why he's not sitting down. “What are you doing, Grant? Sit down and rest.”

“I'm a mess, Corey.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes at him and put my hands on his shoulders, pushing down until he has no option but to sit. “The shower is in the bathroom through that door.” I point towards the door across the room. “You’ll find everything you need on the shelves just inside the door. I’ll get your bag once I get you a towel.” I walk to a large cupboard just outside the room and grab two towels before leaning into the bathroom and putting them on the closed toilet seat for him. “If you need anything, just yell.” I walk away and shut the door behind me, effectively cutting off any argument that Grant might come back with. I have known the man for roughly an hour and already I'm learning that it’s easier just to do what needs to be done than it is trying to talk him into it. If you give him a chance to argue with you, then everything becomes a big deal. I don't think he is the kind of man that is used to asking for help.

I rush out to the car and grab the soggy bag from the boot. I don't even bother taking it to Grant’s room, instead heading straight to the kitchen with it. Everything inside must be as soaked as the outside after Grant’s fall. Once Grant’s finished in the shower I’ll get him to look through everything and work out what can be saved. It does leave one problem though. What’s he going to wear? I head to my room and search through my drawers to see if I can find anything suitable. Everything that’s mine won’t fit Grant. He’s taller than me, and from the struggle I had to get my arm around his waist, I know his body is a lot larger. I move over to Niko’s clothes because, even though he’s larger than Grant, a pair of his shorts might do Grant until his clothes are clean. I grab a pair of workout shorts and a tight running top and return to the spare room. I knock on the room door, opening it slowly when I hear the water from the shower running.

I mean to just leave the clothes on the bed so Grant can see them when he comes out of the bathroom, but my feet keep moving until I'm standing in the steamy bathroom. I place the clothes down on the side of the sink while the voice in my head screams at me to leave. What the hell am I doing? I rush from the room quickly, shutting the door firmly behind me and I don't stop walking until I'm under the hot water of my own shower.

I stand with both hands on the wall, and my head dropped forward, so the water hits the back of my neck. I have no idea what the fuck got into me. I was in the bathroom while Grant was in the shower. Who does that? The only thing that is on my side and keeping me away from being a peeping Tom is the fact I didn’t turn around and look at the shower. I didn’t give in to the urge to spy on my houseguest while he was naked.

Dropping my head to the cold tiles, I gently bang it a few times. I’m officially losing my fucking mind. God, all it would have taken was one simple turn of my head and the glass of the shower cubicle wouldn’t have hidden the view from me. I ignore the small jump in my dick when I think about Grant being naked and quickly wash. I don’t want to leave the safety of the shower, but I need to check on Grant. His shower should have helped his ankle a little, but I should get him ice and paracetamol.

Taking a few minutes, I dry off before grabbing a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt to wear. I sigh at the warmth that’s seeping back into my body. I hadn’t noticed how cold I was when I was helping Grant, but now I've had a shower, I can feel the tingles on my skin as it heats up. I head to the radiator on the far wall and put my hand on it, frowning when it’s cold. The heating should be on, especially with the day turning so cold outside. I frown as I make my way to the boiler to make sure that the damn thing has kicked in. When everything is settled, I'm going to make upgrades to this cabin, and the first thing to be replaced is the old boiler that I'm sure is about a hundred years old.

After turning the thermostat up a little to kick in the heat, I head to the kitchen and grab an ice pack from the freezer. It’s one of those proper medical ones that physiotherapists use and we have a ready supply of them. That’s one of the perks of living with a man like Niko. You always have to have access to a fantastic first aid kit. He might have thought that leaving Blue Diamond behind would mean no more risk, but we haven’t been able to leave all that behind yet. He might not be directly involved in criminal activity anymore, but he has helped out a few friends, which means we still need a stocked first aid kit. I can’t help but shudder when I think about one of the first times Niko returned from a job. I’d naïvely thought he was doing a simple delivery job for a friend, but when he came home covered in bruises, I realised that he was doing what I thought he had left behind. I should have known that he wouldn’t be able to walk away altogether. It’s in his blood. I think that’s why it’s bothering Niko so much that he can’t find the person who sent me the letter. Niko sees himself as my protector, and no matter how much I tell him that I can protect myself, he never listens, and I can see the stress of it clearly on his face.

I push those thoughts away because they won’t do me any good just now. The last thing Niko needs is for me to spend the next few days worrying about him so much that I give in to my need to call him. I’ve done that once, and after his mobile going to the answering machine, I spent hours making myself sick with worry. Niko was merely in an area where the reception was terrible, but in my mind, I had him dead in a gutter. That day I decided never to call unless it’s a full-on emergency because the fallout of him not answering isn’t worth it.

I focus on getting water and paracetamol for Grant, anything to keep my mind busy. I reach up to the small cupboard above the fridge to grab a dishtowel to wrap the icepack in before heading down the hall to the spare room. I knock gently and enter when I hear Grant’s voice through the door. He's sitting on the edge of the bed wearing the clothes I left, and my cheeks heat with embarrassment. He found them in the bathroom, so there’s no way he hasn’t worked out I was in there while he was naked. He's kind enough not to mention it though as he stands and looks down at Niko’s clothes. I knew that Niko was bigger than Grant, but truthfully I didn’t expect there to be so much of a difference. Grant is much larger than me. Not built in the same way as Niko, but he looks like a guy who can handle himself in a fight.

“So, I've got to ask. How huge is this boyfriend of yours?” He gestures to the clothes that swamp his frame before meeting my eye. He looks like he's a little worried, and I suppose I can’t blame him. Niko towers over most people, eclipsing them with his height and bulk, but his size has never intimidated me I find it kind of hard to find a guy scary when he instantly makes my dick hard.

“Niko’s pretty big, but don’t worry. Like I said before, when he gets home I’ll protect you.” I try to make a joke of it, but I need to make sure that I'm here when Niko gets home because if he walks in and finds Grant here, there may be bloodshed. I'm risking a lot by not telling Niko that there’s a stranger here, but I refuse to confess to him over the phone. All it will do is make him come home and that won’t achieve anything. I need him to get everything he needs from this trip because hopefully, it means it will be his last. I will deal with any fallout from my lie by omission, but I refuse to interrupt his investigation.

“That’s good to know, but maybe I should just leave.” He stands up but grimaces when he tries to put weight on his sore ankle.

“Don’t be so bloody stupid. Right, get on the bed and shuffle up.” I wait patiently until he’s leaning against the headboard and I grab a pillow before resting his sore ankle on it. Applying the icepack makes Grant hiss at the cold and I turn away so I can hide my smile from him. What is it about these big tough-looking men acting like babies when they get hurt?

“Thank you for this.” I look up at Grant, but his focus is entirely on his ankle. I take a moment to look at his face, liking the way he’s nibbling his bottom lip a little too much. His eyes flicker to mine and I instantly go back to tending to his ankle.

“You're welcome. I'm just glad I came along when I did, or you might still be lying in that ditch.”

“No kidding. Knowing the way the day was going, the deer would have probably been hit by a car, landed on me and died.”

The moment he finishes talking I burst out laughing. I don't mean to, but he said the words with such conviction, like he really believes that it would have happened. I feel bad laughing because I know what it feels like to think like that. Some days it just feels like the whole world is out to get you, but looking at him, I don't know if I’ve ever felt as defeated as he seems. “I'm sorry for laughing, but you painted a pretty funny picture there. Have things been difficult?”

He's quiet for a while, but I let him take the time he needs to find his words. It’s difficult to share with a stranger, even if they want the best for you. I know therapists that would be able to build new houses with the money they could make trying to sort my shit out. Niko wanted me to talk to someone when we moved up to Scotland, but I just don't feel I need it, and that there is probably a problem in itself. I’ve gone through so much, had to do such horrible things, but I don't feel traumatised. I know I should after everything that happened at Blue Diamond, but all I feel is thankful. I was passed around from one man to another, but I look at my life now and I'm happy. I slept on the street with boys that didn’t get the same chance I did, and some of them didn’t make it out of their teenage years. No, I feel blessed that I was protected by the company and all I had to do was give my arse a few times a week. Maybe I'm a little more fucked up than I thought?

“I lost someone close to me recently, and I've been a little lost since then. There’s just so much I wish I’d told him before he disappeared. I've been searching for him since then, and I think I've lost my way a little.”

My heart breaks for Grant. I remember feeling that adrift, not knowing which way to turn to find someone that could help me. Maybe I was meant to find him out there today? He was possibly put in my path so I could help him, give him a safe place to hide until he finds his way again? “I'm so sorry, Grant. I'm thrilled I found you now.”

Grant yawns and quickly covers his mouth.

“Am I boring you?” I smile at him before getting up and grabbing the blanket from the back of the small rocking chair that sits in the corner of the room. I can see the exhaustion building on his face, and I wonder how long it’s been since he felt safe enough to fully relax and rest.

“Sorry, I'm being rude. I'm just suddenly really tired.”

“It’s okay. Why don’t you have a nap and I’ll make us something to eat. The stuff in your backpack is soaking. Is it okay to wash them?” I cover Grant with the blanket, and his eyes are already drooping.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

By the time he's finished speaking, his eyes are closed, and I stand for a minute and just look at him. I hope he sleeps for a while because he’s shattered. He never said how long he's been on the road or how long he plans on looking, but if I can give him a break from the worry he must be living with, then I’ll be happy. I back away slowly, watching him until I close the door quietly behind me.

* * *

I’m closing the fridge when my mobile starts to ring. I know who it is without seeing the screen because only one person has my number, so I answer the call with a smile. “Hey, Sexy.” I'm met with silence on the other end of the line. I'm about to speak again when the call cuts off, and I stare at the now blank screen for a few minutes. I'm about to check the number that called when it rings again, eliciting a yell out of me. Shit, I'm acting like a jumpy kid. Maybe the guy at the window the other day made me more nervous than I thought? I connect the call and listen carefully.

“Core?”

I feel my body relax when I hear Niko’s voice. His always-present growl acting like a balm to my soul. “Hey, Hulk.”

“Hulk?”

I laugh when I hear the confusion in his voice. I have made it my life’s ambition to find a nickname that will work for Niko. He is the only person that calls me Core, and it makes my stomach tumble every time he does. It's like the word is connected directly to my heart and I love it. “That one not working for you?”

“I'm pretty sure you can come up with something that doesn’t link me to a huge green monster.”

“He's not a monster all of the time, just when it’s important.” I put as much heat into my words as I can, hoping that Niko takes the bait. He’s been away for three days now, and my dick is missing him as much as my heart is.

“Then maybe Hulk is perfect, but just in the bedroom.”

I close my eyes as the growl in his voice intensifies, making it clear that he’s feeling as horny as I am. I lean back against the kitchen unit, the sandwich I was in the middle of making completely forgotten. “When are you coming home? I miss you so fucking much.”

“Soon, I promise. I just need to check something out, and then I'm coming back to you. I just want to fucking hold you for more than two fucking seconds. I miss you, and I hate being away.”

I sigh, actually sigh, like a damsel in an old-fashioned movie. Niko does that to me, and all it takes is some words. “Then hurry home.” Home. I’ve recently discovered that home to me isn’t a place, it’s a person. Niko. Wherever he is that’s where I need to be. I think that’s why I find it so difficult when he's away.

“I’m doing everything I can to get back to you. How are things?”

I bite my lip as I plan my lie. I should just tell Niko about Grant, but I know the reaction that I’ll get. He’ll blow his lid before getting in his car and coming home. I need to show him that I can look after myself. “Things are good. Went into town today to check the PO box, and you will be happy to hear that it was empty. I think whoever found us last time has given up.”

Niko’s silence isn’t a good thing, and I have a horrible feeling that when he speaks, I'm not going to like what he says. “They haven’t given up, Core. The emails that I told you about haven’t stopped. In fact, they’re getting more frequent.”

My stomach drops. He only just told me about the emails before he left three days ago, and now he's even more worried about them. “How frequently?”

“It doesn’t matter. All that-”

“How frequently, Niko?” He needs to start telling me the truth no matter how much he doesn’t want to. I’m sick and tired of him trying to protect me, and it’s time to put an end to it.

“About a dozen a day.”

“Shit. What do they say?”

“Corey.”

“No, Niko. I’m not a child. I want to know what you’re dealing with.” I hear him grunt, and I brace myself for what he might be about to tell me.

“They all pretty much say the same thing, but it’s all based on what they will do to you when, not if, they find you.”

Oh. Well, I wanted to know even if the information is making the bile rise in my throat. “I'm sorry.” It’s all I can think to say because if it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have to deal with any of this.

“Fuck off, Corey. You have nothing to be sorry about. I swear if I was there right now, I would show you how little you have to be sorry for.”

“But all of this is because of me. If you weren’t with me they wouldn’t be doing any of this.” I close my eyes, but this time it’s to try and chase off the tears building in them. I hate that I'm putting Niko through all this and I suddenly find myself wondering if it would be easier if I just left. If no one could find me, then his life would be safe.

“You can stop thinking like that right now.”

I go to argue, but he cuts me off immediately.

“I know you, Corey. I can almost hear what you’re thinking so let me make something very clear. If you leave, I will tear this world apart looking for you. Have you taken a second to think that all this might be about me?” He gives me a moment to think but carries on before I can finish my thoughts. “I'm the one getting emailed. I'm the one they found. They’re using you to punish me because they know what you mean to me. They know you are the only thing I can’t handle losing.”

Okay, so I hadn’t actually thought about it that way, but I'm finding it hard to see who would have a grudge against Niko. No, I’m sure that the threats are all about me.