Knock, knock, knock.

The sound of the tap on the door causes the fear to stir like a snowstorm inside of me. The way your face grows cold and it hurts to breathe—which is crazy since it’s summertime. I know it’s not bad this time, but I’m still terrified.

It’s a date.

With Liam.

I glance at my dress and press it down with my hands, smoothing the soft, satin fabric and at the same time trying to calm my nerves. I do a quick mirror check, fluff my hair, and pinch my cheeks. I wore my favorite red dress. I was worried after so long it wouldn’t fit, but luckily it fits better than the last time I wore it. My breasts are fuller thanks to Aarabelle, and it clings to my curves perfectly. The soft, flowing curls hang to my mid back and I have my nude heels on. It’s the first time in months I’ve taken any time to really look pretty. Usually I’m in sweats and a ponytail. Not much need for vanity around a baby.

“Here goes nothing,” I say to myself before opening the door.

Liam stands there with his hand on the frame and my mouth goes dry. Holy shit. He’s dressed in black dress pants and a dark blue shirt. His sleeves are rolled showing his forearms and the fabric clings to his muscles. What is it about a man’s forearms that are so damn sexy? My eyes travel his body and absorb every part of him. It’s not normal how good-looking he is. It’s not fair. He makes it impossible for any woman to resist him. I make my way up to his face where the grin is painted. He watches me watch him, clearly enjoying himself.

I haven’t really looked at a man like Liam. I don’t usually pay attention, but with him…it’s impossible not to. He’s tall and steadfast, commanding and alluring. Every part of him screams danger, yet I see inside his heart. I see the man who cares for me and Aarabelle. The one who arranged an entire night out after not being able to see each other for a few weeks. I see the heart he wears on his sleeve with me. I want him to push me, but he knows somehow that I need to go to him.

I stand there admiring the insanely sexy man at my door as he stares at me. “Hi,” his rich voice is low and seductive. One word and my heart begins to race.

“Hi,” my voice cracks and I look down.

Liam steps forward and grips my chin. He pulls me so we’re eye to eye. “You look breathtaking. I missed you.”

“You did?” I ask already knowing he did. He sent me texts the entire time he was away letting me know he was thinking of me and Aara. That’s the one thing with Liam—I can’t help but let him chip at my walls. He cares for Aarabelle and loves her. When she was sick, he came running. Not out of some stupid obligation, but because he was concerned. You could see it in his eyes and it was another crack in my armor.

He laughs and steps closer so we’re toe to toe. “I did. Did you miss me?” Liam’s finger lightly travels down my arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

I shrug and reply playfully, “Eh, you know. I needed someone to hang a couple of new photos, so I guess I did…”

Liam’s hand flies to his chest in mock horror. “I’m the handyman. I’m crushed.”

I take a small step forward and wrap my arms around his torso and hold tight. “I missed you.”

His strong, thick arms wrap around me and my body molds to his. “We’re going to be late,” he says and presses his lips to the top of my head.

I look into his blue eyes that glimmer in the moonlight. “Where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise.”

“Wow, you’re really going for the kill.”

“I don’t know how many of these I may get, so I’m going to make it count.” Liam’s lip rises and he wraps his arm around my waist and guides me to the car.

“Keep this up and you may get a few more dates,” I joke and nudge him.

“We’ll see. I’m not the only one on probation,” Liam simpers and I slap him in his chest.

“Yeah, okay. You wish, buddy.”

He laughs and I follow as we walk arm in arm down the driveway.

“God, I love your car,” I say aloud as I climb in. He has a 1968 Dodge Charger that he restored with his dad. It’s candy apple red with tan interior. Every part of this car screams Liam. It’s sexy, mysterious, loud, and yet it fits him in some odd way.

“You match,” he muses as I settle into the seat. “Robin’s been good to me. She never lets me down,” he says as he grips the wheel. “We have an understanding.”

“You named your car?”

“And this surprises you? She’s my baby. You wouldn’t not name your child, would you?” Liam asks completely serious.

“That’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not.”

I laugh and buckle my seatbelt, “Yeah, it totally is, and why a girl? Why not name the car after a guy?”

Liam smiles and backs out of the driveway. His hand glides over the dashboard as he speaks of his car. “Same reasons ships are named after women. Ships have personality and character. They protect us on the seas and bring us home. They mirror what is beautiful about every woman. Willful, strong, protective, and faithful, and Robin is no different.”

“I think I’ve heard it all.”

“Well, I could say it’s because it’s not the initial expense but the upkeep that will kill you.” His mouth curves as I roll my eyes. “But that might be considered sexist.”

“Might?” I retort.

I try to fight laughing or smiling. I try but fail.

“See, I can always make you smile.”

“And at the same time make me want to punch you.”

Liam chuckles and pulls into the parking lot at the Lynnhaven Fish House. Which is one of my absolute favorite restaurants in Virginia Beach. “It’s a gift—at least that’s what my mother says.”

“She’s biased.”

“Natalie?” Liam asks slightly apprehensively. I look over and he sits with his hand on the door. “I’m glad you agreed to come out tonight.”

Not that I had much of a choice, but of course I did. I could’ve told him no and gone home to Aarabelle. There were a hundred other things I could have chosen, but instead, I put on a dress and went blindly with him. “Me too.”

“Stay here,” Liam requests and exits the car quickly.

My lips widen in approval as he opens my car door a few seconds later. He extends his hand and I place my palm to his. I don’t know that I’ve ever had a date be so chivalrous. No. I will not compare. I need to be here in the moment.

“Thank you,” I say and kiss his cheek. “By the way, how did you know I love the Fish House?”

“Lucky guess,” he says but I sense there’s something more to that.

We enter the restaurant and are seated at the window overlooking the bay. It doesn’t matter that my house backs up to this view, I’ll never tire of it. The way each wave brings new water to the sand, washing away the footprints we leave and giving everything a new chance. It’s…hopeful.

Once we order and get our wine, Liam grabs my hand that’s resting on the table. “You okay?”

“I’m great. Why?” I ask, perplexed.

“You’ve just been quiet.” He looks out to the ocean and then back to me.

I smile tentatively and flip my hand over so we’re palm to palm. “Is this weird for you? I mean, it’s us.”

Liam sighs and his finger whispers over the skin on my wrist. “Weird? No. Unexpected? Yes.”

That’s a good word to describe what all of this is. Neither of us thought we’d be sitting here on a date, yet that’s exactly what we’re doing. “It’s a good unexpected though, right?”

“Natalie, I wouldn’t want to be sitting here with anyone else,” he answers and the truth shines through his eyes.

I want to reply me either. I want to say the words, but they die on my tongue. Aaron’s face flashes in my mind and my stomach drops. The guilt begins to grow heavy and sits on my chest. It weighs on my heart and begins to crush it. I’m on a date with another man at the restaurant my husband took me to on our anniversary every year.

“Lee?” Liam asks as tears pool in my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“This…this place,” I say and try to get myself under control.

“Did I fuck up?” he asks and comes around the table, crouching in front of me.

“No,” I say and dab my eyes. “It’s just…Aaron.” I look away because I hate even saying this. “He…”

“He took you here?” Liam asks, not sounding upset, but concerned.

“Yeah,” I look back at him as a tear falls. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You don’t have to pretend with me.” Liam grabs my hand and turns my chair so I have to look at him. “Listen to me. He was your husband, the father of your child, and my best friend. You don’t have to pretend he isn’t here between us. If you think he’s not in my mind every time I look at you, you’re wrong. I’m struggling with thinking of you the way I do. Imagining doing things with you that he’d beat my fucking ass for.”

Again, a part of my heart breaks, but this time for Liam. This thing between us isn’t easy for me, but I never thought about how it would be for him. I wonder if we’re doomed from the start. I don’t know if it’s even possible for the two of us to have a chance at this. There aren’t simply two scarred hearts trying to find a way. There’s also a ghost between us.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I reply honestly.

“Me either. That’s why I said we take this slow. You can talk to me though. If you’re missing him or if you want to talk about him. He’s not an off-limit topic. You never mention him with me. Why?” Liam grabs my hands as we sit in this beautiful restaurant and people look at us. He doesn’t waver from me. Instead, he kneels on the ground, holding my hand, while I have a mini breakdown.

I pull my hands from his and rest them upon his face. The short beard he keeps is trimmed and it tickles my hand. I brush my thumb back and forth and stifle the emotions that were stirring. I lean forward and kiss his lips gently. “Thank you.”

His brows set into a straight line and looks away. “I don’t know what for. I made you cry again…which I begged you never to do again. Although,” he stops and gives a quick laugh, “You tend to kiss me when you cry, so maybe I should rethink this. But you didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t know. I feel like it’s wrong to talk about him with you. I loved him so much and now I have these feelings for you and…” I trail off unsure of what to say.

Liam’s eyes never falter. He stays trained on me, waiting for me to finish. “You need to tell me because I promise I can’t read your mind. I can try. I can read your body. I can tell right now you’re nervous. Your heart is racing, your eyes are shifting, and the way you’re stuttering tells me everything I need to know. But I don’t know what is going on in your mind or your heart.”

“I just wish he was here, and then when I’m with you, I don’t think about him so much. It makes me feel like I’m a horrible wife.”

“You’re not horrible. I don’t think what we’re doing is horrible. Neither of us thought we’d be here. I think with my good looks and charm you were doomed.” Liam winks and his mood shifts to playful.

I laugh and wipe my face with the napkin. “You’re a mess. Now please get off the floor and let’s have dinner.”

Liam returns to his seat and I place my hand out asking for his in return. He wants me to lead this and right now his touch soothes me. I’m not going to think about why that is, I’m just going to enjoy it. This is our time tonight and I want to be in the moment for the remainder of it.

“Okay, let’s just enjoy our date,” Liam says as the waitress walks over.

Liam orders practically everything off the menu. I swear he’s feeding someone under the table. No human can consume this much food. By the time dinner is served, I’m totally full but he’s still going.

I joke with him about his appetite and laugh as he tells me the stories from their training mission. Some of the guys Aaron was close with are still in the teams. I know their wives and families and it takes me back a little. I’ve missed these stories.

“How’s work going?” Liam asks.

“Good. I got promoted again. I swear it’s the fastest anyone’s ever gone from entry-level to management in history,” I say and take a bite of my lobster.

“Muffin’s a smart guy. I’m sure you were never hired with the expectation of staying entry-level,” Liam says as he sits back. “What do they have you doing now?”

I put my fork down and take a deep breath. I know Liam said Aaron isn’t off limits, but I still feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, Liam deserves to know in some way too. “I’m doing all their mission prep. I’ll handle all the logistics and make sure everything is properly staffed and they have all their supplies. Which apparently was the issue that sent Aaron to Afghanistan to begin with. But today I learned some other stuff…” I trail off.

“Like?” Liam’s hand covers mine. It’s as if he knows I need the extra support.

“They’re investigating Aaron’s death. I mean…I don’t know what they’re going to find. It was pretty clear-cut to me. It was an IED…what is there to investigate?” I ask and Liam’s eyes move a tiny bit to the left. I wouldn’t normally care, but I know that’s his tell. “Liam?”

“Look, I thought all along something wasn’t right. I mean, not the IED…that stuff is common, but then when Jackson got shot over there, it was a red flag for me. That region wasn’t on our radar, but then two Cole Security guys were injured or killed? I don’t know. It’s the skeptical part of me that questions it,” Liam says and links our fingers.

“Should I be worried?”

Liam squeezes my hand. “I wouldn’t be okay with you working there if I didn’t think it was safe. I’d make up some bullshit and sabotage it. There’s no way I’d let you be in danger, and neither would Jackson or Mark.”

I take a deep breath and release it. He’s right. No one would ever put me in harm’s way, but the questions nag at me.