“Mamamama,” Aarabelle repeats over and over, sitting in her highchair. It’s music to my ears. She’s growing up so fast. I wish I could push pause and freeze frame each tiny moment.

She’s truly mobile now, which has been a huge pain in the ass. Plus, everything goes in her mouth, and I swear the child can find the tiniest things.

“Mamamama.”

“Hi, beautiful girl.” I smile and put another Cheerio on the tray. I’ve learned one Cheerio gives me time for about one dish to get washed. Timing is everything.

She grins and tries to grab it as I rush back to the sink to keep cleaning before she starts screaming again.

I look out the window and see Liam’s car pull up. My happiness is automatic and the butterflies start to flutter in my stomach. It’s only been a few days since we’ve seen each other, but I’ve missed him.

The time apart gave me a chance to come to terms with my emotions. I’m angry, but I won’t allow Aaron’s decisions to impact my future. He’s gone. He made bad choices and I have to live with that. But he gave me Aarabelle, and in a way, he gave me Liam. The truth is, I have no way of knowing if it even happened. All I have is the word of some woman.

I hear Liam knocking at the door and Aarabelle starts to fuss. Looks like my Cheerio time has expired.

“Come in!” I yell toward the door and hear it open.

“Lock the damn door,” Liam grumbles as he enters.

“I live in the safest neighborhood. I also have the nosiest neighbor who camps out on her deck. I think Mrs. DeMatteo would notice and beat you with a bat before you could get in.” I smile and Liam squats down and kisses Aarabelle on the cheek.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he coos at her and she grins.

“Mamamama,” Aara says.

“Give her one Cheerio, please,” I instruct Liam and almost get excited that I can do all the dishes while he feeds her.

“Sure thing, but first you better kiss me.”

I turn and my arms wrap around his neck. “Hi,” I whisper.

“Hi. You look beautiful,” Liam says seductively.

“You’re all sweaty,” I reply as I lift up on my toes. I inch closer to his lips and he leans down slowly.

The tension builds between us and I savor the moment. When a kiss can leave your head spinning and your body tingling…I haven’t had this in so long.

He stops right before his lips can touch mine. “I like sweaty,” he grumbles and then he kisses me.

I hold the back of his neck and he holds me tight as he moves me backwards. My back hits the counter and he pushes against me. The kiss ends as quickly, but leaves me breathless.

“Maaaaaamaaaaa,” Aarabelle screams from her chair reminding us of her presence.

I laugh and push against his chest. “No one forgot you, silly girl,” I chide playfully and place a Cheerio on Aara’s highchair.

She gives me one of her whole-face smiles. Where her eyes glimmer, her nose crinkles a little, and her lips are wide. You can’t help but smile back at her.

“So, I have an idea,” Liam says as he snakes his arms around my waist.

“Oh?”

Liam releases me and turns me so we’re facing each other. “We’re on training workups, so you know that the deployment will be coming at some point.”

“Yeah, I figured.” I know this. I can try to pretend that I’m ignorant, but I’m not. Years of being a SEAL wife has given me the knowledge of how they work. How I’m going to handle him leaving remains to be seen. This is one of my biggest worries. Can I cope with this again?

“Hey,” he lifts my chin. “Do you trust me?”

I look into his eyes and my hands rest on his chest. I think it’s the one question that I never have to think twice about. Liam has proven time and time again in the last nine months that I can trust him. “Of course I do.”

“Okay, then go upstairs and pack a bag for you and Aarabelle.”

“What?” I pull back looking at him confused.

“For a few days.” Liam kisses the tip of my nose and turns me around.

I turn back but he starts to walk me toward the stairs. “Liam, stop.”

“I knew you were going to argue,” he mumbles.

Damn right I’m going to argue.

“What the hell am I packing for? Where are you trying to take us? I have to work this week. I have things to do,” I start to ramble off without taking a break as my mind reels. “I can’t just go away. There’s no way I can drop everything. I have meetings and Aarabelle has a play date. I mean, what about …”

“Good God, woman. You trust me. So trust me,” Liam stands against the wall as I stare at him with pursed lips. “Go! Up the stairs.”

“Don’t ‘woman’ me. And don’t order me around,” I reply defiantly.

He bursts out laughing and I follow. Liam steps forward and grips my hips. My hands wrap around his neck. “Stop being so damn cute. Go pack. I want us to get away from here.” He pulls me close and gazes with adoration in his eyes. “Give ourselves a chance to be free of all the shit here and see how we feel. Just us. No ghosts. No memories. Only the three of us.”

When he says those last few words, my heart sputters. The three of us. It was never meant to be him in the three of us, but here we are. Liam doesn’t just want me. He wants Aarabelle too—even with her diapers and drool. He’s not asking to whisk me away on a getaway so he can seduce me. Instead, Liam cares enough to want to build something together and include Aara.

“You really know how to win a girl’s heart, Dempsey.” I tug on his neck while lifting myself up and press my lips against his.

Liam pulls back but keeps me tight against him. “Only yours. I only care about your heart.”

I lean my head against his chest and wish I could stay here. With my eyes closed and holding on to this moment. In his arms where I’m secure and I know he’ll protect me.

“What am I packing for?”

“A few days. Beach gear.”

“Beach? Do you see what is off my back deck?” I ask confused.

“Zip it. Go pack.” Liam breaks from my hold and slaps my ass. “I’ve got Aarabelle.”

“Oh, that’s comforting,” I retort and climb the stairs quickly, hoping he won’t chase me. Or maybe I do hope that.

I enter my room a little giddy. A vacation—with Liam. It’s kind of surreal and completely unexpected. Holy shit, we’re going to have to sleep together. Like sleep—in the same bed. I mean, I wouldn’t want him to sleep on the couch and we’ve been moving so slow with everything sexual, but I don’t know that I’ll be able to be in the same bed. Then, of course, I don’t know that I want to keep going slow. I want him and it’s clear he wants me. I know that my feelings for Liam are real, but still. I’ve only ever been with Aaron and it worries me that I won’t be good.

Panic starts to bubble and I decide I need to focus. I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Packing. That’s all I need to worry about. I’m going to have to smack him for this. Women need days to pack for a trip, not minutes, and that’s when they know where they’re going. I try to make a mental list of all the things I’ll need for Aara and myself.

Piling different clothes on the bed, I start to feel a little better. I have outfits for whatever may happen, and I at least have the beach necessities. Aaron’s closet has all our luggage in it. I haven’t come back to this closet since the day I shredded his clothes. There’s nothing inside of here that I want to open again, but I have to. My hand rests on the door handle and I draw a steadying breath, then open it. It still smells like Aaron. Spice and musk assail my senses and I fight the tears. He’s hurt me so deeply, even from his grave. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask aloud. “I won’t let you destroy me. My heart was yours but you decided it wasn’t good enough so I’m taking it back. I’ll always love you but I’m not yours anymore.” I lean against the door and hope he hears me.

I allow a solitary tear to fall as I grab the suitcase from the top shelf. When I pull it down, I see a torn piece of paper that sits on the floor.

Hesitantly, I squat and grasp the paper. I turn it over afraid of what I might find, but all that’s written is “I’m sorry.”

More questions begin to take shape. “Sorry for what, Aaron? Or to who?” I yell and kick the door closed. The loud smack of the door echoes through the room. Leaning my back against it, I slink to the ground and hold my knees. My head falls forward and I begin to cry. Dissolution of a marriage is always hard. Becoming a widow and having that marriage taken from you is the most difficult thing anyone can imagine, but finding out that marriage was a lie—inexplicable.

“Natalie?” I hear Liam call out. “Are you okay?” I feel his hands touch my arm and I slowly lift my head.

There he stands with Aarabelle in his arms.

“No. Yes. I don’t know,” I say in a hushed voice. I’m trying to hold back the tears. I don’t want him to see me like this. Liam is who I want, but I’m still breaking from Aaron. It’s not fair to either of us.

“Okay, well…let’s get packed and we’ll figure it out together.” Liam stands and puts his hand out for me to take.

I place my hand in his and he lifts me up.

Aarabelle begins to clap her hands and I laugh. “You wanna go on vacation, pretty girl?”

She squeals as if she has any clue what I’m saying and I look at Liam.

“Together,” he states again and kisses me on the temple. “Now,” his voice shifts to be more animated. “Someone needs a diaper change and I call not it.”

I shake my head as he holds her out toward me. “No way, you said you’ve got Aarabelle and if we’re in this whole ‘together’ thing,” I say with air quotes, “You’re going to be doing diapers too.” I cross my arms and give him a shit-eating grin.

“Over my dead body, sweetheart.”

I walk over and my tongue glides across my lips. I watch the intake of Liam’s breath, the way his eyes follow my tongue and linger on my lips. He shifts Aarabelle to his other arm and grabs my waist when I get close.

I lean close to his ear and whisper, “No diapers, no naked.” Liam groans and I laugh. “Now, I need to finish. No rope!” I yell as he walks out the door.

“You can’t make the rules,” he yells back and I hear him talk to Aarabelle. “Now, where is Mommy’s duct tape?”