Lex
“Stand up,” I tell her. I’m giving her a simple, useless command because I have to make her do something, anything, before I come in my pants like a silly teenager.
Sir.
Tabitha fucking called me sir, and my dick was instantly hard.
She has no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear her say those words. She has no idea how long I’ve been waiting, wanting, needing to hear her call me that. I didn’t start exploring BDSM until after our divorce, until after we’d hit rock bottom and completely failed to claw our way back up, but oh, in this moment, I wish I’d discovered this side of Tabitha a long time ago.
I wish we’d discovered this side of ourselves a long time ago.
Maybe things would be different between us. Maybe we could have saved ourselves the fights, the arguments, the pain. Maybe we could have saved ourselves the struggle. Maybe.
Maybe we could have done something, anything, but we didn’t.
I push those thoughts from my mind, though, and focus on the fact that Tabitha is no longer on the bed. She’s standing beside it, just as I asked, and she’s watching me. Is she waiting for me to speak? Is she waiting patiently for me to tell her what she needs to do next?
Who is this woman?
What has she done with my ex-wife?
The Tabitha I was married to would never have taken orders from a man, any man. The Tabitha I was married to would never have accepted someone telling her what to do. That Tabitha was strong and fierce, but this one is, too. She’s something else, as well. She’s brave.
This Tabitha shows no fear.
She called me sir, and when I called her out on that, she stepped up. She accepted it. She accepted that this means she’s made a choice, and that choice is going to change our entire relationship.
“Kneel,” I say, and she drops to the floor in one smooth, fluid motion. She’s been trained and she’s been trained well. A sting of jealousy shoots through my heart, but I push that down. I’ve been with other people since the divorce and I know Tabitha has, too. We’ve both slept around and that’s fine. It’s a natural part of moving on and healing from a failed relationship.
It’s part of growing up.
“You’re a sub?” I ask her, watching her bowed head.
“Yes, sir,” she nods, but her voice is a whisper.
“When? How?” I ask. “When did this happen? I had no idea.” Somehow, the idea that she knows she’s submissive didn’t cross my head. When I was planning how to tell her I liked her, planning to tell her that I wanted to be with her again, I knew I was going to have to explain BDSM. I just knew it.
I don’t, though, because somehow, Tabitha has just proven she really is completely perfect for me. She really is the perfect woman.
Now I just have to convince her to give us another chance. Things will be different this time around. I’m not the same man she married all those years ago. The world has hardened me, changed me. It’s made me different, but it’s made me strong, and Tabitha is about to see exactly what kind of man she’s dealing with.
“After the divorce,” she says quietly. “I decided to explore.”
“Explore BDSM?”
“Explore everything,” she admits. Her eyes are still down, but I reach and tilt her chin up so she’s looking at me. I want to see those beautiful eyes while she talks to me. I want to see her perfect face while she tells me everything that’s happened in the last few years.
“How did this start? What prompted your exploration?”
“Veronica invited me to come with her to this party,” she says. “It was at someone’s house.” I open my mouth to say something, but she shakes her head. “I know. Terrible idea. I know better now, but I didn’t at the time. I went with her. It was a mask party. Weirdly, everyone was really respectful and no one gave me a hard time. I didn’t have sex with anyone. I just watched everything and I was completely fascinated by it.”
“House parties can be dangerous.” I have to say it. I can’t not say it. “You shouldn’t go without someone you trust, someone who can ensure you get home safely.”
“You’re right,” Tabitha says simply. “I was wrong to go, but I didn’t want to lie to you.”
She didn’t want to lie.
She wanted to be honest.
And that hits me at my very core. Of all the things we fought about, of all the things that tore our relationship apart, honesty was always the thing we fought about most. We reached a point where we just felt like we had to lie to each other about everything, and that was the end. That was the end of it all. Once we had to lie to each other, things crumbled, so the fact that she’s being honest with me now feels like a gift.
“What happened next?” I ask, reaching for her hair. She sits quietly and allows me to pet her hair. I’m still in shock, I think. Nothing like this has ever happened between me and Tabitha. Never. Nothing like this has ever happened between the two of us.
There’s a certain intimacy that a Dom and sub share. There’s a certain familiarity, a certain private vulnerability that’s experienced during a scene. Tabitha and I may have been married for seven years, but I would never describe our marriage as emotionally vulnerable or intimate. I would never say we had been emotionally open with each other.
“I left and started doing as much research on BDSM as I could. I read websites, bought a bunch of kinky books, and even joined a couple of message boards.”
“Meet anyone interesting?” I ask, still touching her hair. Has she had a serious Dom? Is that who showed her how to kneel so perfectly? I’ll have to remember to thank him once I’m done feeling jealous because Tabitha looks completely perfect right now.
Her hair is a mess and she’s wearing a t-shirt and panties. With her legs spread, I can see the dampness forming on her panties. I wonder if she even realizes how turned on she is right now.
I wonder if she even realizes I’m going to be fucking her before the night is over.
“A few people,” she says. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch. I use my other hand to touch her cheek gently, so now both of my palms are on her, and I never want to stop. I never want to stop touching her. “They were nice. A couple of submissives private messaged with me for awhile and that’s how I got invited to a club.”
“What did you think of the club?”
“I liked it. I’m a member now.”
“Which one?”
“Anchored.”
“It’s a good club.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, nodding. Her eyes stay closed, and she lets out a soft, contented sigh. “Everyone is really nice. I took a few classes on submission there, and I’ve been playing there on and off for two years now, but I’ve never had a regular Dom. You know, if you were wondering.”
“I was wondering.”
“I’ve only dated vanilla guys. You know, since the divorce.”
She tenses as she speaks, but she’s a brave little thing, and she keeps talking.
“I’m scared to date someone who is going to demand more.”
“You don’t want someone to push you?”
“I do, but I’m still scared. The idea of giving someone complete control is terrifying.”
“But you need it.”
“I need it, but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, I can barely make it through the day. I’m floating through life right now. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I need someone to swim toward, someone to fight for, but I haven’t found the right Dom.”
“Yes,” I tell her. “You have.” Then I sink to the floor in front of Tabitha so I’m kneeling, too, and I tilt her chin up. Without another word, I press my lips to hers and claim her mouth. Her lips, her tongue, her kisses: they’re all mine. Mine today and forever. I let her go once, but I’m not letting her go again.
Not this time.
Tabitha doesn’t fight me or resist. She sinks naturally into the kiss. We’ve shared so many before: thousands of kisses together. Our bodies seem to know what to do, how to move, how to make this good, because before I know it, Tabitha has climbed onto my lap and is kissing me harder, faster.
I’m the Dom. I should be in control of this. I should slow things down between us. I shouldn’t fuck her just yet, not just yet, but I want to. More than anything, I want to fuck sweet Tabitha. It’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone, but it’s been a lifetime since I’ve been with her, and I want to be with her.
I want to be with this new Tabitha, this vixen who has captured my heart and my love. I want to be with the minx, the darling, the submissive.
I want to be with Tabby.