Tommy
JADE RAN OFF abruptly, but not before she left me with the most sensual memory of her silky lips on my skin. Last night continued to confirm I wanted to get to know her better. She was outwardly beautiful. No one could deny that. Yet, my desire to spend more time with her came from a more intimate place—an inner beauty that peeked out through her words and mannerisms.
From what Jade had said about her brother, the way she sounded when she spoke of him, told me she and Jimmy had an amazing relationship, prior to the accident. She beamed when she mentioned his name. I truly believed she loved Jimmy more than anyone else in her life, but I had felt that Jade used her love for him as a security blanket of sorts. It was an invisible shield that protected her every day. If she kept things positive, then the hurt and the memory from the loss of her brother wouldn’t be able to swallow her up whole and quite possibly destroy her, as well.
Perhaps all of these assumptions about a girl I just met were allowing me to get way ahead of myself where Jade was concerned. The very little I observed, combined with what she explained to me, made me create these illusions, maybe delusions in my head. I needed to stop this and take a step back.
Jade wanted time to stand still, right in this moment…where she could create a safe haven of happiness that didn't include a man. Yet, I wanted time to move forward. Maybe not with the speed of light, but just fast enough to be with someone I could spend the rest of my life with, or at least to start spending the rest of my life with. I had wasted so much time already.
I had to hand it to Jade, though. She kept herself busy by putting all her efforts into her business. Not only was Summertime Sweets successful at its present location from what her Aunt Viv had explained to me, but it was getting a complete makeover in a much larger space just down the street from where her shoppe was now. I needed to put that same attention into this beach house and get my mind off my new neighbor. That would be easier said than done.
Jade had left only a few minutes ago and I wanted to already see her again. Even though last night and this morning, proved to be eye-opening about her past, it really only skimmed the surface. I knew there was more.
Maybe I could pay a neighborly visit to her shoppe later in the day. A bake shoppe would have a huge morning rush, so I believed it wouldn’t be a good idea to interrupt her so soon after she had just left my place. Plus, I didn’t want to appear too eager and scare her off.
With my mind preoccupied with thoughts of her dancing in my head, I almost forgot I had guests in the kitchen. I walked back to the table to find Blaze and Daniel huddled together in what appeared to be a conspiracy of sorts.
“Cozy…so from the looks of things I’d say you two are up to something.” It was a statement, but it was also a question that they needed to answer.
“We’re not up to anything. How can you say that? We were just reminiscing about old times. I haven’t seen Daniel in years,” Blaze answered first and too quickly I might add, which proved she and Daniel were up to no good.
“I can say that because the both of you have the look of guilt on your faces. Now, which one of you is going to tell me what this little meeting of the minds is all about?”
“I guess I’ll tell you,” Daniel chuckled and looked at Blaze who shrugged and offered no opinion at that point.
“Finally! A voice of reason. Let’s have it,” I said, as I threw both my hands up in the air in exhilaration for what I was about to hear.
“Don’t be angry, but I told Blaze about your plan for moving down here.”
“Why the hell did you do that?” I snapped. I was confused why Daniel would reveal my secret to Blaze of all people.
“Hear me out.” He firmly stated, gesturing his hand up to quell my current state of anger.
“Go on.”
“Listen, I’m your friend, and as such, I feel it’s my duty to stop you before you hit that proverbial brick wall.”
“For God sake, what are you talking about?” He wasn't making any sense. He knew better than anyone, except for myself, what my plans were when I decided to leave my past life behind, lie to my family and friends and move down here to start over. Now he thought that I had made a mistake? In the beginning, he was all for it. I wondered what had changed his mind.
“When you first told me about your plan to buy the beach house, I absolutely thought it was going to be the best thing for you, but now after seeing you with Jade, I’m not so sure it is.”
“Why? What’s changed?” I became worried.
“You have.” Two words…that was all he had for me?
“That’s it? I’ve changed? How have I changed? I’ve been down here for what…a week? And you think I’ve changed? I’m still me. I’m still fixing the house and hopefully in the next six months or so, I’ll have someone to share it with.”
“That’s just it, Tommy…when you started this whole thing and said you were going to buy the house, fix it your way, and find a wife, I was cautiously happy for you. But now that the woman you seem to set your sights on, and so soon, is Jade, I’ve gotta tell ya, bro, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Don’t listen to him, Tommy. He’s overthinking it. I, for one, think it’s absolutely fantastic that you and Jade have found each other. It may be soon for you, but Jade has closed herself off for far too long. Plus, I know she believes she won’t give into Reece’s pleas, but I’m not sure about that.” Blaze was beyond excited, she was almost exuberant.
“I don’t know if you’d call it finding each other. It’s only been forty-eight hours since I met Jade, but I also don’t get why you’re so dead set against it, Daniel. Especially since you were my biggest fan of the idea in the beginning.” I addressed both of them, but only Daniel responded.
“I was your only fan in the beginning because you refused to tell anyone else about this. Now don’t get me wrong, I still think it’s a great idea to change what’s not working for you in your life, but I just wish Jade wasn’t part of the equation. She’s a beautiful person and under normal circumstances, I think that the two of you would be the perfect couple, but you're looking for a family and a future. Yet, from what Jade has only briefly mentioned to me in the past couple of days, she’s not, and she’s looking for something very different and totally opposite to what you want.”
“I heard what she said, Daniel, but that’s because Damien hurt her and because Reece is trying to pressure her to go back with his son. Who wouldn’t want to run in the opposite direction? Besides, I just want to get to know her better. It’s not a marriage proposal or a long-term commitment. I just want to see where this goes. I want to see if the attraction that I have for her is mutual, that’s all.” I tried to convince Daniel of my intentions where Jade was concerned, but maybe I needed to convince myself of it as well. I did plan on being with the woman of my dreams within six months and Jade had clearly stated she didn’t want to be anyone’s woman, not now or in six months.
“Can I give you my opinion being Jade’s my best friend and all?” Blaze asked.
“Sure.”
“She is not as tough as she appears, but she can’t let anyone see what both Courtney and Damien did to her was so devastating it nearly wrecked her. She was already fragile when she found them together, but…”
“Because of Jimmy’s death?” I cut her off.
“Yes, because of Jimmy’s death, but in my opinion, there was an underlying cause. Jimmy would have committed suicide regardless of Courtney. She was the means, the excuse if you will, to his demise, but that wasn’t the whole story.”
“I’m not sure I understand what you're saying.” I was thrown off by Blaze’s statement, so she attempted to clear it up for me.
“You had to know Jimmy to know that there was more to Jade’s decision about staying single and avoiding a commitment with someone new than just her breakup with Damien. So let me give you some background on him and the entire situation that I believe is guiding Jade now.”
I nodded and looked at Daniel. He was quiet but reluctantly nodded in agreement. I needed to listen to Blaze before I could move forward with my desire to get to know Jade more intimately.
“You see, Jimmy was filled with this lust for life for a long time. His energy was always positive. He barely said a negative thing about anyone. Everything he did turned to gold, yet he was never conceited. He had it all. He was good-looking, a natural athlete, and he had an incredible head for business. He was comfortable whether he was on a surfboard or in a boardroom. He could command a room just by his presence. People gravitated to him. They loved when he was around. Jade, on the other hand, was not as aggressive as her brother. She, by all means wasn’t meek, but because she at times lived in the shadow of Jimmy’s limelight, she tended to be more reserved and took fewer risks.”
“That must have been awful for her.” It hurt to think that Jade hid in the background of her brother’s popularity. That was one thing I never had to deal with when it came to my brother and me. Michael and I always had gotten along, until recently. We were the best of friends most of our adult lives.
Damn, I miss him.
“Please don’t misunderstand me. She and Jimmy had a great relationship. He never made her feel like she was second best. Neither did Mr. or Mrs. Stanton. In fact, they were extremely proud of Jade and continue to be very supportive of her success. It was Jade’s own insecurities that made her think that she could never measure up to her brother’s accomplishments, but it was also those same insecurities that made her start Summertime Sweets.”
“Now, you've really lost me. If she was so insecure, then how did she build up such a successful pastry shoppe? I’m not sure how Jade could be so shy, yet so determined, as you say.”
“Easy…her feelings of insecurity made her accomplish more. She was determined to be in control of all that she did so nothing would be a surprise to her any longer.” The more Blaze revealed about Jade, the more conflicted I became.
“Well, not the best way to live.”
“For Jade to move forward, it was the only way. She has always loved Long Beach Island. Unlike the rest of us who have either grown up here and left to work in the big city or like Damien, who only spent summers and holidays here, Jade knows the shore as her home. Even when she worked in New York, she made sure to commute home regularly. She hated being in the city. She did it for Damien, but ask Jade and even she’ll tell you that she would rather take the surf over success any day.”
“Sounds like my kind of girl,” I added, and all of us smiled.
Blaze nodded and continued.
“Like I had said before, Jimmy was an over-achiever, but not the type that had to work hard at it. It came naturally for him. Yet, once he had the surfing accident in California that all changed. He had to answer to others. His time was managed by the people at the Center. Daniel can attest to the fact that you live on a schedule that is customized to your own needs, but you don’t have the freedom you would have if you weren’t a resident there,” She stopped and Daniel continued.
“It’s true. When you become a patient at the Center, you need help with your daily rituals. You're monitored constantly. It may seem overwhelming, but that is the job of the medical staff there. You have no choice but to follow their rules.”
“Daniel, you seem to have adapted well. You live on your own and teach. It doesn’t appear that you’re being run by the Center.”
“You’re right, I’m not. You have to remember I’ve lived there my entire life. It’s what I know, and I have adapted well, but I must agree with Blaze, I don’t think Jimmy ever did.”
“Before, you hinted at the fact that you believed he would have killed himself regardless of Courtney. Does Jade believe that as well?” I directed my question to Blaze.
“It’s hard to say, but I don’t think Jade would allow herself to accept the fact that Jimmy would have died that day no matter what.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s easier to blame Courtney for Jimmy’s death than it is to accept the fact that her perfect brother had demons. Believe me, I do think Courtney was partially to blame, but at the end, Jimmy wasn't a fraction of the man he was before the accident. That’s why she’s built the life she has here on the island.”
“She’s playing it safe.”
Blaze nodded.
“Yeah, well, she has been playing it safe since she and Damien broke it off, but since you've moved in next door, I’ve seen a side of Jade in the last two days that I hadn’t seen in a very long time.”
“Which is?” I asked.
“She smiles when she’s around you. She was completely spontaneous when she told Reece that you were her boyfriend, and that kiss this morning…Jade would never have done something so playful, so easily with someone she just met.” What Blaze now revealed made me feel good to know that Jade was comfortable with me, but what it also revealed was that I had to proceed with caution if I wanted to get to know her better.
Blaze realized she needed to leave and check up on Reece…more like deal with him. As she walked to the door, she stopped short of walking out. Her hand smacked the doorframe and she stalled there for a moment, before turning around to release a confession of sorts.
“Tommy, I hope you and Daniel both understand that I love Jade with everything I hold dear to me. It may have seemed like I just betrayed her confidence, but I’m worried about her and when I see her act the way she has around you in such a short time as I stated before, it gives me hope that the person Jade was before Jimmy’s death and before the incident with Damien and Courtney, will come back to us again.”
Walking over to Blaze, I wanted to give her a sense of relief that what she told me would stay between the three of us.
“Listen…you don't know me and honestly, you don't owe me an explanation. I could tell from your story of what happened to her that you care very deeply for her and want her to be okay. So, I’m here to tell you that I won't cause any further stress on her. Since we’re being honest…I, myself, am drawn to Jade, but I realize we just met and whether it be a friendship or more than that, all of it takes time. I promise you and Daniel, I won't do anything to hurt her. Even if that means backing away and just being the friendly neighbor.”
“Okay…” She stopped and then turned to say one more thing. “Oh, and you're welcome by the way. I’m the one that got the papers processed for you to buy the house.” She laughed revealing her part in this.
“Wait… you were the one?”
She nodded.
“Viv told me it was through a friend she got the sale through without Jade knowing. I just thought it was friends of her parents, but it was you?”
“Guilty…so let's keep this between us because if Jade finds out the truth just yet, we’ll all be out on the street.”
Blaze disappeared out my door. I hated lying to Jade about the house, now knowing Blaze was directly involved in the sale didn’t ease my worry in any way. Yet, I appreciated she took me into her confidence about the house and Jade and gave me her opinions on what affected Jade’s decisions for her future, namely her love life.
Daniel and I talked some more. I hoped I allayed some of his concerns about my interest to pursue Jade. It seemed by the end of the conversation that I had.
At that point, we both agreed that we had stayed in this house for far too long. Daniel and I got our suits on so that we could head over to the end of the island where I could surf, and Daniel could take in the sun to work on his tan.
The conversation decidedly postponed my visit to Jade’s shoppe. I realized after talking with Blaze and Daniel, I needed to not run headfirst into the proverbial brick wall, as Daniel put it. I’d slow down and not appear too pushy, but I had to admit, I was completely drawn to her and I wasn’t sure how long I could keep my promise to steer clear. For now, and for the sake of everyone involved, I knew I had to do my best to strictly remain friends with her and nothing more.