Tommy
JADE APPEARED PREOCCUPIED following the hospital’s orders to rest while healing from her concussion. Work for her was out of the question for a few days, but she wanted to check on her shoppe and drive over to the new location to see how the renovations were progressing. I agreed to take her. The day was clear and warm, a slight breeze still holding steady since the morning.
We pulled up in front of the building. “It looks like it’s closed.”
“That’s because it is. On the weekends, the locals and vacationers swarm the place in the morning and they’re finished picking up their orders by noontime. I’m the only one who hangs around to get the week’s paperwork completed.” She explained as she was managing to unlock the door for us to go inside.
“Wow, your former date was right?”
Jade turned back with a smirk and looked at me.
“You are lazy, closing at noon,” I joked, which got me an eye roll and a laugh.
“Very funny, are you coming?”
“Right behind you, baby.”
Once we finished picking up some paperwork Jade wanted to complete while resting at home, we headed to the new location not too far down that same street. When we pulled up, the workers were calling it quits for the day.
“Hi, guys. How is everything coming along?” Jade addressed the group of men as we approached.
“Wonderful, Miss Stanton, we’re waiting on a few permits for the next phase of the project. They should be in by next week.”
“First of all, call me Jade and secondly, did you guys get the boxes of treats to bring home to your families?” Jade looked in the windows and around the outside perimeter as if the delivery of food never arrived.
“Yeah, Miss…Jade, we put them in our coolers when they arrived about an hour ago. Thank you for doing that. Our kids look forward to your cupcakes, and I’m on my wife’s good side when I surprise her with your chocolate covered strawberries.”
Jade smiled proudly.
“I’m glad. It’s the least I can do for all of your hard work to get this place ready.”
The men nodded and smiled back, and filled her in on a few last-minute changes that were necessary for the reconstruction of the building. Other than that, Jade seemed pleased and sent them off wishing them a nice weekend. We couldn’t go inside the building, but we peered in the two large windows and spied through the closed large double door in the center of the facade.
“It’s really coming along.” Jade acknowledged with her nose to the glass like a kid at a candy store.
I followed Jade’s cue.
“Hmmm, it looks great! What color are you going to paint the walls?”
She backed away to face me. “I’m not sure. That’s the toughest part of this project. Well, for me anyway. The equipment…ovens, freezers, and mixers are being brought over from the other location, but the decor is harder to decide on than I originally thought.”
“Why so difficult?”
“Well, I want to change the decor. I don't want it to be the same as my current place.”
“That’s understandable being a new place and all.”
“Exactly, and the truth is when I originally launched Summertime Sweets, I was with Damien and he helped in directing his opinion on anything and everything. Now, I have the chance for a clean slate, so I want it to be perfect.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do.” She was referring to the beach house—my clean slate.
“I have an idea. What do you say we head home, and I’ll bring over the paint cards and color books I received from the interior design store in Manhattan? They came in the mail last week and I really haven’t looked at them. We could order in later, and perhaps go over them after dinner?”
She was about to say something but stopped.
“Fuck! I said we’d take this slow and I’ve done the opposite.”
“Stop…that isn't it.”
“Then what is it?”
She pulled on my arm bringing me closer.
“This is what it is.” Jade placed her mouth on mine.
Taking hold of the back of her neck, I pushed my tongue into her mouth and allowed her words to carry my feelings deeper into our kiss. Jade moaned slightly, tightening her grip on my arm, telling me she was aroused, as was I.
Each time Jade kissed me, my inner reaction was the same—disbelief. It couldn’t be happening, but it was. There was only one problem. I was falling fast and hard for this girl. With my descent came worry. The worry of when the time would be right to tell her what caused the rift between me and my brother. And what my reason behind what destroyed our family was, which in turn could cause Jade to walk away from me forever. What would I do then? How could a life after her be worth living?
I internally shook it off. We were here. We were now. That’s all I should have been focusing on, and I did my best to do that.
“Let’s go home.”
She nodded, climbing into the car.
We pulled up to our respective homes and noticed a small familiar crowd which included Blaze, Reece, Kim, and Viv were standing in front of the alleyway between my house and Jade’s. Blaze rushed the car first, barely allowing me to stop and effectively blocking Jade in the car.
“Where the hell have you two been?” Frantic, windblown, and taking no prisoners, Blaze demanded answers, but Jade was having none of it.
“Let go of the door.”
Jade opened the passenger door of my car, slid out, and closed it discreetly. Pausing towards my direction to prepare herself for the onslaught of her nosy, albeit concerned friends and family.
“Okay, now would you like to explain where you’ve been since yesterday?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I even called the police, but they wouldn't do a search until you were missing at least 24 hours.”
“Would you please give me a break? That’s a bit dramatic, even for you.”
“Blaze was thoroughly worried. I don't understand why you didn't pick up the phone and call one of us.” Reece intruded as usual.
“If any of you had called me, I would have called you back.”
“We did.” Their voices blared in unison.
“I didn’t get any messages.” Jade stopped, thought about it, and realized I had her phone.
“How could you forget something like that? Blaze was worried about you,” Reece scolded her further.
“For your information, I’m a grown woman and when Blaze is off with you as she has been for the last six months, she wasn't at all worried about my well-being then.”
Viv and Kim smirked as I went to join them.
Blaze went to respond, but Jade cut her off.
“Furthermore, being a grown woman, I was otherwise occupied for the past 16 hours and finally…as you can see, I’m completely fine.” She winked in my direction.
Blaze shakily pulled Jade down the driveway out of earshot of the rest of us. After what seemed like an hour, but was only several minutes, Blaze pecked her cheek, summoned Reece, and they sped away toward the other side of the island.
Viv, Kim, and I came forward to meet Jade.
“Everything good between the two of you?” Viv inquired.
Jade kissed her aunt’s cheek. “It will be when Blaze learns to not poke her nose where it doesn’t belong. Hi, Kim, sorry you had to be pulled out here at this hour. The Palm must be mobbed.”
“It is, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head back to the club. Are you sure you're well?”
“I’m in good hands, Kim.” Both ladies smiled and promised they’d talk tomorrow.
Last but not least was Jade’s Aunt Viv. She was owed an explanation.
“Aunt Viv, I’m so sorry you were dragged back here for nothing.”
“Yes, Viv, I'm sorry too…I forgot all about Jade’s phone.” Explaining to soften the situation the best I could.
“No apologies necessary, Blaze has an issue when it comes to self-control. I knew there had to be a logical explanation for what happened, but her hysteria prompted me to return home not because I was worried about Jade, but I was worried about Blaze’s reaction to the situation, and Reece playing into her hands to help further his own personal agenda.”
“Aunt Viv, you look tired. Let’s go inside, and I’ll make us all a cup of tea.”
“Jade, how about we go inside and I make you ladies some tea instead,” I suggested, as she was supposed to be resting and so far, she had done anything but rest.
They nodded in agreement.
“I’d definitely love a cup of tea with the two of you and an explanation of how your relationship appears to have changed from yesterday morning.” Viv’s flat-lined smile was humorous, yet she seemed rather elated with the idea of her niece and I being together.
After tea and a revealing conversation about Jade’s accident and our new-found relationship, omitting the part about the sex, of course, I went home and pulled out the brochures and samples for the old kitchen cabinets. The cabinets would be coming out in the next week or so to make room for the new ones, which wouldn't be here until after the 4th of July weekend, next month.
I returned back with the samples, to find Jade in bed, fast asleep. Quietly, I went downstairs and placed the brochures on the kitchen island, and took this opportunity to call Blaze and Kim. I wanted to set their minds at ease after what transpired in the alleyway earlier today. Finally, by 9 pm, I realized Jade wasn't getting up, so I checked one last time before heading back downstairs and crashing on her couch.
Sunday morning, or I should say early Sunday afternoon, I woke, still in yesterday’s clothes. I washed up and went upstairs to check on Jade. I knocked on her door, but no one answered. Perhaps Dr. Roth was mistaken; perhaps the tests weren’t clear and Jade’s blow to the head was worse than first thought. Yet, she seemed to be improving. I knocked harder this time…still no response.
“Jade!” I called out and again… no answer.
Stepping back, then moving forward, I apprehensively opened Jade’s bedroom door and entered the room. The bathroom was empty. I looked around and noticed the patio doors to her bedroom deck were open. As the breeze swelled, her curtains billowed outward. I called her again, checked the deck…there was nothing.
Looking off into the distance, I saw the image of her walking along the shoreline away from our homes. Wondering why she hadn't come over to wake me, I rushed down to catch up with her and find out what was going on.
In the past, I was usually the one to keep a cool head when things were in chaos, but with Jade, things were different. In mere moments, worry consumed me, and I feared the worst. Why didn't I crawl into bed next to her instead of opting for the couch? I should have checked on her more, but I thought I was doing the right thing by giving her some space and letting her rest. I thought we agreed to take it slow, but maybe I was being too cautious, I see now it was a mistake. Maybe taking her to bed was a mistake? Then, forgetting about everyone in Jade’s world, but us, may have caused her more hidden distress.
Jade was different from any woman I had ever met. At first, I thought she held together pretty well, not letting the broken pieces of her past control her todays or her tomorrows…at least that’s what she wanted everyone to believe.
Until yesterday, I believed it myself, but after her nightmare, I knew she was fighting something deep inside of her. Something she wanted to deny, because denying it made it less real…less confrontational and therefore something she could live with.
In my opinion, Jade wasn't living. She was not unlike me. She was existing. Conceivably, she might not have realized it. She quite possibly didn't know how to move on from her brother’s death, not that anyone in that situation ever moves on, but perhaps they learn to survive and live differently.
On the surface, she was doing that. She admitted to it the other night, but how long before living like that no longer works; it’s been several years already. Could she feasibly go on like this forever or would something change? From the people around her appeasing her, or you could say monitoring her, distracting her, it quite possibly could go on forever. Maybe that’s why it’s gone on this long.
They loved her and meant well, but they weren’t helping. By all accounts, they were enabling her. I wanted to change that, and I secretly hoped if our relationship progressed, the dark clouds that followed Jade from a distance would eventually evaporate.
As I continued at a steady clip along the shoreline, Jade’s form became clearer. Her walk turned into a light jog, and if I didn't pick up the pace, she would disappear from view.
That woman never listens. She’s supposed to be taking it easy.
The closer I got, the more I could tell she’d been crying. Maybe she had another nightmare, and I didn't hear her this time? Slowly, I approached her. Her cheeks were wind-bitten, her eyes somber. She didn't turn. She just stood there.
Aimlessly, but securely holding the smooth white water stone Jade stared off into the distance at two older gentlemen fishing out on the jetty early this morning. I wondered if she knew I was there with her. Her silence tortured me.
Her head turned slightly, her chin delicately laid across her shoulder. Her eyes closed briefly, as a tear trailed down her cheek and a false smile formed on her lips.
“I’m so tired. Tired of trying to be everything to everybody.”
I caught a wild strand of her hair, billowing in the wind, and gently secured it behind her ear.
“Jade, you know it’s not your job to be everything to everybody.”
“I know.” She whispered, then nodded…her stiff body pivoting completely to face mine.
“I know, Tommy, but for once…just once…I’d like to be everything to somebody.”
Letting out a deep breath, I went to her. She didn't pull away. Instead, she searched my face for a response to her statement…I complied.
“Baby, I’ll do whatever you ask me to, but I’ve got to tell you after the other night, after tasting you, touching you, holding you, I don't want us to take it slow. I want you, Jade. I want you now. Not tomorrow, not a week or six months from now, but now; what do you say?” I kissed her mouth, brushed my lips against hers, and left them to linger there briefly as I waited for her to answer.
More tears came, as Jade wept in relief. Her arms wrapped tightly around me.
“Yes, Tommy, yes…I thought I could wait, but what am I waiting for?”
I smiled against her cheek and kissed the tears that continued to come.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked without letting go.
“Last night.” Two words…I heard them but didn't get it. This time I pulled back to understand her completely.
She nodded and wiped her face before she explained.
“I woke up in the middle of the night and realized you never came to bed. I sat there watching you sleep, overthinking everything, this past weekend—when we first met, the night on the dance floor at The Palm. Even the last three years.”
“What did you decide?”
She walked toward the water and tossed the stone she had been holding out onto the waves.
“I came to the conclusion I was lying to myself. I told myself I was happy. I was a good daughter, a good niece, a good friend, and three years ago a good sister and a good fiancé. Everybody in my life moved on after Jimmy died, including him. Yet, I was living for everyone else, but me. The shoppe and the home I had built were the only two places I had been truly happy. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure if happy is how I would describe it. I was safe. My life was predictable, I did what I wanted to do when I went to work and came home, but it was mundane…boring.”
I smiled knowingly, “Safe.”
“Yes…safe.”
“I know exactly what you mean…to live a life of predictability you know exactly what you're getting out of it and exactly what you expect to put into it, nothing more nothing less. There are no bumps in the road to contend with.” We started to walk hand in hand down the coast and talked more.
“I guess that’s why you moved here and created the life that you did for yourself, as well?”
“Yeah, I guess you're right. I thought I was being spontaneous, but the more I look at it the more I wanted to direct my situation, be in control.”
“We both did.”
I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her. Without guilt or apprehension or pause, I kissed Jade long and hard, letting her know I wasn't going anywhere and that she was stuck with me, for as long as she would have me.