Tommy
JADE!
Jade!
“Blaze! Calm down! You're not doing her or the professionals tending to her any good.” I shook her shoulders before her panic worsened the situation for Jade.
“Let her be and let the paramedics do their job, sweetie.” Kim agreed.
Not long before I carried Jade’s listless body to shore, I was on my deck contemplating if I should join her and her friends in the water. It wasn't like the surf was off limits just because Jade was out there. I walked toward the shoreline with my board in hand, but as I watched the situation on the water unravel, I could see there was some guy on a longboard to Jade’s left who clearly didn't know a thing about surfing. It was surprising by his actions now that he was able to balance or paddle his way out as far as he did.
As the waves surged, Jade, her friends, and the other surfers around her paddled forward and popped up, but this guy stayed in a kneeling position. White knuckling his board, he was terrified to move and as such, was slammed in the precise place propelling him and the board into Jade’s side…snapping back her head, then her body, while kicking her completely off balance and sending her under the whitewash. I scrambled…ripping off my leash, I abandoned my board behind me. Panic consumed me as I headed in for her. Jade’s board rocketed out of the water, spun in the air, and returned from where it came, eventually floating on the surface without its rider.
My world stopped. I could no longer hear the screams from Blaze, the siren coming from beach patrol, or the onlooker’s gasps. Nor could I hear the water from the Atlantic Ocean that stole Jade away in its ever-swirling wall of saltwater. Whatever I was feeling, all the questions I had, didn’t matter now. What mattered was getting Jade out of a dangerous situation, and what we’d talked about, what we couldn't come together on, and all the rest could be sorted out later or never, as long as she was safe.
Stomping ahead of the rescuers through the shallow surf to scoop her up even with the waves crashing at my back as I hurried her in, I knew I couldn't falter. Jade consumed too much water and met with one hard blow too many. I wouldn't allow the ocean to rush my body and overtake me while I was carrying her. Once on the beach, I laid her down, so that the lifeguards and EMS workers could examine her.
Although the water wasn’t as deep out where I lifted Jade from further harm, and clearly wasn’t as deep as other locations I’ve surfed, I was reprimanded by the lifeguard on duty for getting involved, more like getting in the way. I wasn’t insulted or even angry; I knew it wasn’t the job of bystanders, no matter how experienced, to jump in. Yet many of us did. I’ve seen it before and it’s saved many a life, but I knew going in, it could also be a distraction for the actual lifeguards who do this for a living…even so, my concern for Jade out measured my concern for my own safety at this point. I apologized to the officer and returned my attention to Jade, who appeared to be coming out of it slowly.
“Jade! Honey, please, please say you're okay,” Blaze rambled and cried.
“Miss, you need to give her some space, or I’ll have to remove you.” One officer addressed Blaze for her manic hovering over her friend.
His command stopped all that, as she turned to address him.
“Remove me! Me…me? I’ll have you know she’s my best friend. Instead of badgering me, why don’t you stop wasting time and arrest that fool for hurting her!” Blaze pointed in the direction of the water where a weathered, but no worse for wear surfer sulked onto the beach.
The crowd of onlookers that weren't tending to Jade, followed Blaze’s extended arm and index finger to the wannabe surfer who’d hit Jade.
“That’s right…arrest him! He was the one screwing around out there. You can ask any one of the boys. They warned him, but no, he had to be an asshole! Now, look what he’s done… because he had to show-off!” Blaze stormed forward to confront him, but Kim held her back.
“Not now…Jade needs us. The beach patrol will take care of him.”
Blaze…water soaked, weary, and with bloodshot eyes stared at Kim. There were unspoken words only they could hear—a silent meaning only the two of them understood. Each snapped a quick nod of agreement and went back to their friend, who was now leaning up on her elbows taking a sip of cool water from a bottle being held by one of the emergency workers.
Blaze and Kim dropped to their knees to check on Jade as I stood behind them. Blood was trailing down the left side of her face along her hairline. I swiped a clean cloth from an EMS bag nearby and placed it at her temple.
“Man, listen…you have to step back so we can examine her now that she’s alert.” One of the lifeguards addressed my gesture.
“I understand,” I did but was reluctant to leave Jade, even if that meant I was only a few feet from her. The decision to listen was hard, but thankfully and surprisingly it was no longer my decision to make.
“It’s okay. I want him to stay.” In her weakened tone and with a tired smile, Jade stopped me from moving by placing her hand over my hand holding the cloth.
“Are you sure, miss?”
“Positive, I’m fine. I just had the wind knocked out of me, that’s all,” she explained, as she extended her hand for me to take and help her up.
Jade leaned into my shoulder as my arm came around hers to brace her, while still putting pressure on her head wound with my other hand.
“Miss, the ambulance will be here shortly to get you to…” Jade stopped him.
“No hospital!” She was adamant.
“Jade, sweetie, it’s important that they check you out,” Kim pushed, yet comforted Jade at the same time.
“You need to be checked out.” Blaze pressed.
“I said no, I’m fine.”
“No, you obviously have some damage in that thick skull of yours if you think we’re just going to stand here and have something happen to you later.” Blaze insensitively said, but for good reason.
Jade was hit by a man twice her size, holding a surfboard while being moved by rushing water. She needed to be checked out.
“Baby, listen to me,” I said, softly patting the side of her head with the cloth while searching her face. Examining her as if I could read into her thoughts, I cautiously broached the subject of having her checked out, but she stopped me, as well.
“Don’t you start in on me too! I’m fine. I’m not going to say it again.” Her chin lowered, her eyes hooded, so as not to expose the pools of water fighting to remain unseen.
I pulled her into my chest to keep her and her secret pain safe with me…let me take it from her and physically absorb it. A pain that wasn’t caused by today, a pain not brought about by the clown on a surfboard. No, a pain that ran deeper than Jade’s superficial wounds from the mishap on the water. This pain came from a memory. Today’s incident was a reminder of her past. Today, reinforced Jade’s ever-present gut-wrenching hurt for Jimmy. Her brother’s death was something she couldn't come to terms with. The accident proved that. Yet, I felt the need to try and persuade her to go, and that I would come with her.
“Jade, please listen to me. I’m not telling you what to do, but you sustained a blow to the head. You need to get checked out. Please.” One of the lifeguards stepped in, who appeared to know Jade. Not that it was odd for them to know each other. Jade lived on the island year-round for most of her life and Jimmy, her brother, seemed to be a legend to the local surf crowd.
Her chest fell, as her eyes closed. It appeared he won this fight. “Okay, I’ll go … on one condition.” Even with the seriousness of the situation, that pout on her face was priceless and amusing.
“What's that?”
“No ambulance.”
“But Jade…” Blaze intruded, only to add to Jade’s apprehension.
“I’m tired, and I’m definitely not in the mood to argue with you, but I will if you nag me about this.”
“I’d be happy to take you over to there so you can get checked out,” Kim added, but I wish she hadn’t.
I didn't want Jade to forgo treatment, but my gut instincts told me Jade’s emotions were more in need of repair than her physical cuts and bruises. I could be all wrong with this, but I felt she might open up to me more than her friends. I may have been imaging it, but in the short time I’d been here and got to see Jade with the people close to her, I barely saw her discuss or speak of Jimmy at length around them, other than that night we had dinner at Viv’s and Jade explained some of it to me when she stopped by afterward.
Again, a gut instinct told me she was holding back. It was as if she wanted to scream, but couldn’t. As if she wanted to let go, and let it all out, but wouldn’t. Perhaps I was giving myself too much credit in thinking I could coax the hurt out of her and help her put it in the past or at least in a place she felt more comfortable…more at peace.
“Kim, thank you. I’d liked to go home first. I really need a shower, and I’d like to change before I spend the rest of the day and possibly the night in an emergency room.”
“You can’t be serious?” Was all Blaze said, and that was all it took for Jade to leave my arms to confront her friend.
The two women faced off, but Jade wrapped her arms around Blaze and kissed her cheek.
“I love you, Blaze, and yes, I’m serious. I don’t feel sick or dizzy or anything out of the ordinary, so I’d like to shower and change first. I promise I’ll let you and Kim take me after that.”
The lifeguard who knew Jade interceded.
“Jade sweetie, please listen to me. I’ve seen this before. You'll feel fine. On top of the world even, but when the adrenaline swirling around inside of you crashes, it’s not going to be good. I want you to go to the hospital, and if you don't want the ambulance, so be it. The boys and I will take you.”
She looked everywhere around her to find the answer that would help her to decide what to do. She wanted to avoid that hospital at all costs, but what her lifeguard friend said next made all the difference in the world.
“Jade, please do as I ask. What kind of friend would I be to you or Jimmy, for that matter, if I didn't keep my promise?”
“What promise?” Exhaustion and annoyance echoed through Jade’s tone.
The guard paused as if he realized he was leading into shaky territory with Jade. “Jimmy asked me to always look out for you when he wasn't around. So let me ask you again, what kind of friend would I be to Jimmy if I broke a promise to him now? Not a very good one. Now, what do you say? Will you let me take you?”
Answering his own question, he asked Jade again, but this time she looked to me.
“I think you should do what he says and if you’d like, I can take you.”
Jade then took my hand as she guided me out of hearing distance of her friends.
“I want to thank you for what you did, but I don't want to impose on you any further.” Her voice a weakened whisper, as her focus went from our entwined fingers to my eyes and straight through to my heart.
I shook my head as I answered her. “No thanks necessary. For your information, you're not imposing at all, I’m just glad you're doing okay.”
“Thanks to you.” Her shyness and slight amusement in her smile confirmed she was going to be fine.
Less than panicked, but deeply concerned, I asked Jade if she wasn't telling me something. Now probably wasn’t the right time to pry it out of her, but it didn't appear she made up her mind yet, for the mode of transportation she would be using.
“If you don’t have a family doctor, I have a friend on the island who’s a doctor. I can ask him to meet us at the hospital if you'd like?” Thinking my proposal would make her decision easier. It did, but it didn't go as I had planned.
“Thank you. That’s okay, I have a family doctor who could see me, but I hate to admit it, Blaze is right, I need to go now and get checked out. My brother’s friends will take me. I’ve taken advantage of your good nature…far too much.”
“It’s only an imposition if the person you’re asking doesn't want to do it. I offered, and I’m happy to help.”
The smile she gave me, as she let her fingertips touch my shoulder was the nicest brush off a guy could ask for.
“Thank you, but maybe it’s best I go with them. If it’s true that I’m not imposing as you say, could I ask you to let Viv know what happened if she should call? I know how hospital emergency rooms can be, and I’m pretty sure they are going to make me get a scan or some sort of X-ray. I don’t want to miss her call and I certainly don't want Blaze or Kim explaining this to her, so if I leave you my cell phone would you handle it for me?”
I said yes for two reasons. One, because Jade was right. Cooler heads needed to prevail and although Kim was fine, Blaze wasn’t, and I knew Kim would have her hands full with Blaze while they waited for Jade at the ER.
And two, because having her phone would allow me to see her when she returned. These feelings whirling inside of me for Jade were understandable given her personality and the many things we had in common, but more than just attraction at first sight and my need to be with her since that time was hard for me to comprehend.
“Sure, I’d be happy to help.”
“Great, I’ll text you from Blaze’s phone or Kim’s with updates.”
“Okay, and I’ll text Blaze should Viv call. I assume her phone number is on your list.”
“Sounds good.” She nodded and walked away, but turned back briefly when I remembered something and called out to her.
“Wait! What’s your password to get into the phone?”
She laughed, which was an odd reaction to me until she told me the word.
“It’s wipeout,” She laughed some more as she joined her friends and disappear over the dunes that lead to the street.
I chuckled as the irony wasn’t lost on me.
Back at the beach house and not even two minutes after Jade left for the hospital I was checking the phone for…a text, a call, an update. Being patient didn't seem to be my strong suit when it came to her. From the moment we danced that first night, I felt drawn to her. Yet, I couldn't have predicted that the beautiful body wrapped around me on that dance floor would be the same body to show up barely dressed, livid, and yelling on my doorstep the next morning…or be the same woman connected to my beach house’s past.
If my pacing continued, I was guaranteed my new floors would be aged before their time. I had to do something.
Calling Daniel seemed like the logical choice, but me not being logical or rational at the moment, I called Rain instead.
“Tommy!” She picked up and her voice took the edge off but didn't calm me as I thought it would.
“Hey, baby…how’s everything?”
“I’m good, but maybe I should be asking you that question?” With Rain’s inquisitive emphasis on the word you…pertaining to me, couldn't possibly mean she knew I lied. Could it?
“What do you mean?” I tried being as nonchalant as possible…more like playing stupid.
“What I mean is, you must be having a great time. I haven't heard from you in almost three weeks. So, tell me…who is she?” I could hear Rain’s inquisitive, playful grin forming on this side of the phone.
I should have known calling Rain and trying to put anything passed her was a mistake. She always knew what was going on with me, even if I never said a word. This time, I had to try my best to avoid this line of questioning. I wasn't ready to discuss Jade and what I was feeling for her with my best friend just yet, so I lied.
"Rain, if there was a she, believe me, you’d be the first to know. So tell me, how are the twins and Kane?"
“Nice try, but you're up to something, and you know I’ll find out eventually, and if you've been keeping things from me…” That was the Rain I knew and loved all these years. The fiery, take no prisoners attitude.
I laughed as she knew her idle threats didn't work on me.
“You’ll what? You know you can’t pull that shit with me. Listen, baby, you knew I had to get away, and I’m doing that. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be…finding myself, that is. But, Rain, I have to do this for me. Please understand.”
“Damn it, Tommy, I know. I know you had to do this. I get it. Probably more than anyone, but I don't like to think of you as hurting. That wasn't what this trip of self-realization should be about. Now, promise me something.”
“Okay, I promise.” I didn't even have to think about my answer when it came to Rain. That’s how it always had been with us.
“Promise me that whatever is going on with you, if it becomes too much, or if you just need a break from the reality you're searching for, you’ll come home.”
“You don't need me to promise that, Rain. You know I will. Just like I would if you said you needed me. That’s how fast I’d get there.”
“I love you, Tommy.” She comforted and cut me at the same time. I shouldn't have called in the state of mind I was in, yet it brought me clarity.
“I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, please call me tomorrow. I have to talk to you about a call I received from a client the other day. I need your input.”
As Rain and I ended our call, I dismissed any business we needed to take on for another time, and decided to head over to the hospital, even though I said I would wait for Jade’s call at home…a promise I couldn’t keep.
I arrived at the medical center and searched for parking near the emergency room, but it was packed. That worried me further. What if Jade didn't get seen quickly enough and the injury she sustained was worse than we originally thought? I needed to see her. A renewed surge of energy hit me. I slammed the car into reverse to find a place to park—I needed to get to her. I finally found a spot on the other side of the building and furiously ran around to where I had just come from, barely skimming through the opening of the electric doors which presented a flood of people, confirming it was a busy night.
Peering over and around the crowd in the waiting room proved fruitless. Jade and her friends didn’t appear to be in sight. Hoping this meant she was already taken in to be examined, I inquired at the nurse’s station.
“Excuse me, nurse?”
“Yes, sir. How can I help you?”
“I’m looking for a friend that came in tonight.”
“I’m sorry, sir. We aren't allowed to give out information of that nature…HIPPA regulations.”
“I’m not asking you to give out information on her condition. I just want to know she's here and that I can be with her,” I persisted.
“And how are you related to the patient?”
I had to think fast. “I’m her fiancé.” Desperate measures, I know, but I said it anyway. I wasn't leaving here without seeing her.
“Let me check to see if she’s here, and if she is I can get someone to clear it with her or another family member, then I’ll bring you in.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it”
“Don’t thank me yet. We’re overwhelmed and understaffed tonight— this could take some time.”
“I understand.”
“What’s your girlfriend’s name?”
“Jade Stanton.”
“What was she brought in for?”
“She was hit in the head while surfing.”
“I see. Was she brought in by a family member or by ambulance?”
“She was brought here by some close friends.”
“Okay, let me put this request in the system and as soon as I know anything, either way, I’ll page you overhead.”
“Thank you, again.”
“Don’t mention it. Have a seat over there until you hear from me.”
I did as she instructed and took a seat at the back of the waiting room where there were fewer people milling around. She wasn’t kidding when she said it would be awhile. More like three hours. During which I checked the phone numerous times with no response from Jade, Blaze, or Kim… and no page overhead with my name attached it.
I saw familiar faces emerge from the swinging doors connected to the ER triage section. They were smiling and even laughing when I realized that the last one out and in a wheelchair, was Jade. The minute the wheels hit the public waiting room she shot out of the chair like a bullet.
I was about to walk over when a dark shadow bypassed me and approached the crowd.
It was Montgomery and Damien. I should've known that bastard would take every opportunity to bring his son closer to Jade. The problem was I had no say in the matter. I wasn't really Jade’s fiancé or boyfriend. I wasn’t even family. I was a guy that knew her a mere week…that was it. I was nothing. All I could do was watch as Damien approached her…skimming his thumb across her cheek, getting close enough to kiss her, as his snake of a father looked on with sheer satisfaction and pride.
My fingers cut across my scalp as a reminder of what little sanity I had left after watching someone else touch her. I wanted her. I knew this. Who was I kidding? I wanted her from the beginning. I wasn’t playing along with her masquerade. I wasn't acting. I was hoping somewhere deep inside that she’d notice… she’d want it too.
Now, I was done playing games. I was done with the charade. It was time to tell her the truth. Stop the bullshit and be real. She had hints of it from earlier today, but I was skirting around it. That was never me and it never would be. It was time to tell her that I wanted to get to know her better and be more than friends and neighbors. Fuck the plan. To hell with it. I didn't care if it took six months, six years, or six lifetimes. I wanted Jade to be mine. Fuck trying to change. I said I didn't want to pick up the pieces of anyone else’s life, yet I would do it forever if she’d just notice me…I would do it forever for her. I needed to do it now, with this anger toward Montgomery inside me. I needed to get Jade and bring her home.
I made my move, weaving my way through a confusion of nurses, doctors, hospital staff, and loved ones until a hand gripped my shoulder from behind.
“Tommy, I thought that was you. Are you all right? What are you doing here?” A familiar face in a white lab coat greeted me.
“Hey, Dr. Roth, how are you?”
“I’m good, Tommy, but you didn't answer my question. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine, just here visiting a friend who was brought in tonight,” I explained, as I torqued my neck to see if Jade and her group were still there.
They were. Blaze was explaining everything to Reece and Damien. Kim and Jade’s lifeguard friend were talking, and Jade was seated at the desk observing them. Come to think of it, she appeared almost lost. As if she had walked into a party, but was the only one in the room. I saw Jade tonight as if I was seeing her for the first time—seeing inside of her for the first time. Putting on a good front, while sadness peeked through giving little inklings of isolation. The funny thing was that no one around her seemed to realize what was going on. They were either in their own worlds or too busy trying to insinuate themselves into hers with their own agendas. Telling her it was time to move on, but never listening to what she wanted. Blaze, for the most part, wanted her to move forward, but she was too busy trying to reign Montgomery in than to see what Jade was going through. All she saw was that Jade was being released and tomorrow, normalcy would begin again. Yet, Jade’s life was anything but normal. Viv was the only one around her who understood what she had gone through and the only one to notice, but she was away for the weekend.
Tonight, I noticed.
“Tommy? Have you heard a word I said?”
Unfortunately, all I could do was watch Jade. Everything else was muted.
“Doc, I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind. You were saying?”
“I said, is there anything I can do for your friend while I’m here?”
I was about to explain when my name was being called over the speaker. I excused myself, telling Dr. Roth that it was great seeing him once again. Then I quickly went to the front desk, but instinct must have served him well, as Dr. Roth went with me.
The nurse explained she located my fiancé and her file, but I wasn't on the list of close relatives, so if I wanted to know about her condition I needed to contact them.
“Tommy, I just spoke with Rain and Dominick the other day, and neither one of them mentioned you were engaged. Congratulations!”
He held out his hand, but pulled it back stiffly, when he noticed I didn’t extend mine, or it could have been when he saw the tight-lipped grimace of frustration combined with embarrassment on my face.
“Now, for someone to look like you do, tells me there’s more to this story than meets the eye. Let’s go to my office.”
I nodded and reluctantly followed him, not wanting to leave Jade, but I knew with the Montgomery men there, I didn’t stand a chance of getting close to her without causing undue stress.
“Tell me what’s going on, Tommy.”
Frustration growled through an elongated release of air I wasn't aware I was holding.
Sitting back in the chair, another wave of forced air emanated out from my tense body.
“Doc, it’s a long story.”
He smirked, as he looked at his watch. “You’re in luck. I’m off the clock as of now and my patients tell me I’m a great listener.”
Able to give him a crooked smile, I stood and paced and explained everything. He listened, just as he had said.
“For some time, I haven’t been myself. Since Rain and Dominick married…no, no, since they had gotten together, I started to question myself, my life, and everything around me. I decided to stop the internal whining and do something about it. That’s when I had the idea of moving down here, buying a house, and starting a family. So, for the next six months, I was going to do exactly that. My family and friends, except for Daniel, think I’m traveling—finding myself. I bought the house and the pieces started to fall into place.”
“Until?”
“Until I met Jade.”
“But.”
“But, she’s not looking for a relationship.” I couldn’t bring myself to elaborate. The thought of not being with her or explaining why gutted me.
“Well, Tommy that was some story but it seems to me you know what you want, and you know what you're dealing with. I remember Jade’s brother from the local papers some years back. Surfing hero, all-star athlete, great head for business, good-looking guy who had it all, but I also remember when he died the local paper didn't portray his death a suicide.”
“But Doc…”
He stopped me and continued.
“I know exactly what you're going to say. They twisted it just enough to call it a surfing accident. You have to understand the family lived here full-time for a very long time. This is their home, but this island is small. People talk. To keep the chatter down, I’m sure Jade’s father, Jim and Viv, as well as Reece Montgomery, had enough pull to prevent Jimmy Stanton’s death from becoming a scandal. Don’t get me wrong, people knew the truth back then and many still talked, but it was easier than if it had become front page news, and with time it faded away.”
“Life goes on.”
“Yes, Tommy, it does.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“But I didn't do anything.”
“You did more than you think. Can I ask you for a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Can you direct me out of here without passing through the ER? I need to get home before Jade does.”
He smiled and nodded. “Right this way.”
I returned home to see that Jade had beat me there. I looked at the phone. The one she had given to me earlier…nothing. Climbing the stairs, muffled voices from Jade’s home became louder but still unrecognizable. At this point, I knew she was with her friends, and she was safe, so I let her be. Tomorrow, I would drop by to check in on her and give her back the phone.
Tonight, I decided a hot shower would help to wash off the remnants of the anger, frustration, and confusion of the day that remained trapped between my muscles. Morning would be here soon enough.