Hours and days seem to blend together. The only way of measuring the passing days is when I'm dragged out of here, so Joe can brand me, rape me and beat me. He wants me to scream. He wants Jude to hurt, to act out of anger and make a mistake. This will hurt Jude, of course it will, even if it's nothing more than a case of wounded pride, but the less I scream, the less Joe gets what he wants. I won't give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream or beg because it will do me no good.
I hear the familiar lumbering footsteps coming down the hall again. It's always the same guy. I once tried to talk to him, hoping maybe, just maybe there was a grain of decency in him somewhere that I could persuade him to help me. I got a slap in the face and a split lip for my trouble.
The door swings open, smashing into the wall. He grabs my hair and drags me out of the corner. I wince, as everything hurts. The bullet wound in my leg is badly infected, and I know it won't be long before septicemia sets in, but I'm banking on being dead long before then.
He tows me along the corridor before pushing me back into the office. Fear consumes me as my entire body starts to shake. I think I'm going to throw up.
Joe has his back to me, and he seems to be talking to himself. "This is just like a fairytale, huh? And you want to be the hero. Don't worry Jude, I'll let you find her when I'm ready, just remember, I'm not one for happy endings." He laughs and turns to face me. "Ah, Victoria, you're just in time. I have dear Jude on the phone. Say hello."
All the blood drains from my face as bile rises in my throat. "Tor?" Jude's voice comes over the loudspeaker, and a small whimper leaves my lips upon hearing him.
"Tor?" his voice is calm and controlled and I can almost picture the cold rage on his face. It's when he's calm that he's at his most deadly. By now, he's seen the video. Shame and self-hatred wash over me. I can't talk. I can't even speak his name as tears track down my face.
"Oh, now don't be shy, little bird. Speak up." Joe moves toward me, and a strangled cry escapes my throat. He grabs me by the back of the neck, slamming my chest and cheek against the wooden desk. He presses his pelvis against me, and I wretch.
"Jude," I manage to whisper through panicked breaths. "Don't come for me," I sob.
Joe laughs. "You hear that JP? I told you she liked it. She wants to stay here. Maybe she just wants to get fucked by a real man. I told you I'm going to fuck her up, and I haven't even started having my fun with her yet."
"Do what you like with her," Jude's cold voice comes over the line. "She's nothing to me." The line cuts off.
He hung up. He hung up! It feels like someone just shoved their hand inside my chest and ripped my heart out. I'm nothing to him. I knew he didn't love me, but I thought... I thought I meant something to him. He doesn't care. And it's at this moment I realise I've been fighting for nothing. He was never coming for me. Joe torturing me has all been pointless because he was banking on Jude coming for me. It's such a brutal irony that I laugh, I actually laugh.
Joe's guys look at each other as though I've totally lost it.
"What's so funny, sweetheart?" Joe says, with barely concealed anger.
"I told you he doesn't love me; he doesn't even fucking like me!" My voice cracks. "So just kill me already."
Joe presses his body against me, his lips at my ear. "I wouldn't be so sure. He likes to think he's clever," His breath touches my ear, and I push down the vomit that threatens to rise. "Why would a man who doesn't care for you drive two hundred miles just to put a bullet in the head of one of my associates?" he muses. "He's getting desperate, and that means he's going to get sloppy. He's already dropped his guard, and I'm going to go for his jugular." He picks the receiver back up and dials a number, then puts the call on the loudspeaker. His fingers drum on the desk as he waits.
"Hello?" My entire body tenses when Caleb's voice comes over the line. I open my mouth to scream at him to hang up, but one of Joe's men is ready for me and rams the barrel of the gun against my temple. My pulse hammers in my ears. Please don't let him get dragged into this, he's too innocent, too young.
"Well, Caleb, my boy, allow me to introduce myself. I am the man who killed your mother, and if you don't do exactly as I say, I'll kill Victoria along with your pathetic brother."
He says nothing. All I can hear is him breathing into the phone.
"I will take you, and I will let her go. You tell your brother, you tell anyone where you are going, and I will make sure all three of you die, and as you know, I don't make threats."
There's a beat of silence, and I fucking pray he hangs up, that he thinks this through, that he goes to Jude!
"Where?" Caleb responds.
I don't care that this guy might shoot me. They're going to kill me anyway. There's no way I'm getting out of this, and I will not let Caleb die. "No, Caleb!" I scream. "Do not..." Something collides with the side of my head, and everything goes black.
I don't know how long I've been here. It seems like weeks. This room is pitch-black, the only chink of light coming from under the door.
My body is done. I can take no more. Every time Joe touches me I want to die. I know he's going to kill me, and he's only dragging this out in some sick bid to antagonize Jude. That's the worst part. I'm suffering through this, and yet, it's pointless. He thinks Jude cares about me, but he doesn't. I heard the cold indifference in his voice as he told Joe I meant nothing to him. Nothing. I feel so stupid.
I just want it all to end. He keeps me handcuffed to this pipe. The only thing I can reach is the bucket that functions as a toilet. They sometimes offer me food, but I don't eat. I'm constantly nauseous. I may not die of starvation, but starvation and the pain mean that I'm barely conscious when he forces himself on me. It's a small mercy.
The sliver of light under the door is interrupted, and I hear the clink of keys before the door swings open. I don't even open my eyes. He steps into the room and releases the cuff from around my wrist.
"Get up."
I don't move. I'm too weak to stand. Septicemia has set in, and I'm burning up with fever. My body is shutting down, and I'm thankful for it.
The man grabs my arm and drags me to my feet. I slump against the wall, struggling to keep my eyes open. He growls and pulls me from the room, my feet numbly find the ground as he holds me upright. Eventually, he gets bored of trying to hold me up and throws me over his shoulder. My head lolls to the side as he moves down the corridor. A door creaks open and I hear voices before he dumps me onto the floor. My limp body sprawls across the ground, and I don't have the strength to try and move or fight. Honestly, I'm almost happy about it. I can sense the end fast approaching, and it feels like a mercy at this point.
"Oh, God. Ria!"
It's Caleb. I want to cry, and scream in frustration. Why would he do this? Why the hell did Jude let him come here? It has to be a plan, surely? Jude always has a plan. I frown and try to open my eyes. My fingers dig into the worn carpet. Warm hands skim my face, fingers barely skimming over my skin.
"Ria." My name's spoken on broken breath, so quiet I can barely hear it.
There's a loud clap followed by Joe's laughter. "Well isn't this touching?"
Fear has me dragging my eyes open. I see Joe standing over me, that twisted smile of his on his face as he glares down at me. My eyes dip in and out of focus as I try to find Caleb's face. I squeeze my eyes shut as a shudder wracks my body. I pray to anything and everything he isn't acting on his own, because if he is, then he's going to die. My eyes flutter open again, and he's on his knees beside me. Tears streak down his young face as his eyes lock with mine.
"You shouldn't be here," I whisper, shaking my head.
"Please," he croaks. "Please, just let her go. You have me. I'm the last family my brother has. Take me, kill me, do what you want with me, it will hurt him more."
No, no, no! I want to scream at him, but it's too late.
"I did tell you I would let her go if you came here, didn't I?" Joe smiles slowly. "I lied, surely you knew I was lying?"
Joe signals his guys and they pull Caleb to his feet.
"Please, let her go! She'll die." Caleb's voice breaks and tears slip down my temples. I was so close to death, and now Caleb's here. How can I wish for death when I know I'm leaving him to this?
Joe glances at me as though I'm nothing more than a dog he's bored of taunting. "That's the idea." He smirks before turning his back on me. "Put him in with her. They have some catching up to do."
The door closes, but instead of the usual darkness, a small dim light bulb swings back and forth above our heads. I lay on my back and watch as it moves into my vision, then away again. My body trembles and convulses as the fever rages through me.
"Ria." Caleb scoops my head off the floor and cradles it in his lap. He presses his palm to my forehead and his eyebrows pinch together. His eyes flick to my leg covered in dirty bandages that haven't been changed since I got here. I don't even know what it looks like, but it smells bad, like decaying flesh. I stopped trying to salvage it a long time ago. I have no medicine, no disinfectant, nothing. Why delay the inevitable?
"You shouldn't have come, Caleb." My voice sounds scratchy even to my own ears.
"I couldn't just leave you here." His face hovers over mine, his eyes soft as they study my face. "I hoped I could convince him to let you go."
"Please tell me Jude knows you're here, that he has a plan?" I beg.
His eyes slowly move to mine. "He never would have let me come, Ria."
"Oh, God." A strangled sob breaks though my lips. "You'll die," I rasp. My breaths come in uneven pants as even the smallest of actions seem like an uphill struggle.
Caleb shakes his head, determination painting his features. "No, Jude's looking for you now."
I wish I could believe him, but hope is not something I can afford anymore. I pray Caleb survives this. I know I'm delusional, I've seen the extent of Joe's hate, but I ask for this one small thing.
Caleb takes one of the bottles of water, the only thing Joe's guys supply me with, and he pours it over my leg, attempting to wash my wound.
"Leave it."
"Ria, it needs cleaning."
I shake my head. "Leave it."
"What, you're just going to give up?" He tries to sound stern, but his voice cracks.
I don't say anything. I don't have to.
"You don't get to give up. You fight this." His face crumples and tears trickle down his cheeks. He suddenly looks so young, like the boy he should be, not the man his brother's lifestyle has forced him to become.
I reach up and hold onto his wrist gently. "There are some things that we just aren't meant to survive," I breathe. My head spins violently, and I try to focus on his face.
"Ria!" He shakes me. "Ria."
I try to stay awake, but the blackness pulls me under. I welcome it like an old friend, wrapping me in its warm embrace.
I wake when someone grabs me by my shoulder and hauls me to my feet. "Don't hurt her!" I can hear Caleb screaming, and it confuses me. I thought he was a dream.
I want to cry when I feel the familiar wooden surface of Joe's desk hit my back. Every time I think I'm immune, that he can't hurt me anymore, that his abuse will not affect me, and every time I'm wrong, left pining for death as though it is my very salvation.
A ragged moan slips from my lips as I try to roll away. A deep laugh echoes around the room as a hand grabs my hair and jerks me up to face Caleb. "Pretty little thing isn't she?" Joe sneers as his face presses to my cheek. "Or at least she was. Still, her body's good, and her pussy's even better."
I squeeze my eyes shut. I can't look at Caleb. I can't see the disgust in his eyes.
Joe spins me and forces me face down on the desk. I don't fight. I can't fight. He lifts the oversized t-shirt I've been dressed in, exposing my body to the room. I don't care anymore. I hear his belt buckle, and then I feel him slamming into my prone body. He's just pushing me that little bit closer to death. Caleb's screaming hysterically, drowning out Joe's maniacal laughter. I block it all out, my mind drifting. I smell the smoldering iron of the poker before I see or feel it. This is something he likes to do, fuck me whilst he brands me. Most days, he then lets his men fuck me. The only thing that gets me through is knowing there will be an end. Eventually.
His fingers brush against my skin, moving the torn shreds of my shirt to the side. The hot iron burns into my back, but I don't flinch or react. I barely register the pain anymore.
Joe stiffens behind me, and then he's gone. I close my eyes. I'm so tired.
"I can't wait until Jude kills you!" Caleb shouts.
There's a grunt followed by a thud. I open my eyes to see Caleb on his knees, hunched over as he tries to catch his breath.
Joe chuckles, and once again, drags me up by my hair, forcing me to face Caleb. I can't look at him. Instead, I stare vacantly at the wall. "Here is what is going to happen. Now, you are going to fuck her," he sneers, pointing at Caleb, whose face goes completely white.
"You're sick," he spits at Joe.
Joe laughs and releases me, throwing me back down on the desk. I lay on my side, curling in on myself. "You have no idea, boy." He slowly walks toward Caleb. "My hatred for your family goes back decades, from the moment my first wife decided to fuck one of my clients, your fucking father, and get knocked up. My hatred for that bastard brother of yours is something that has consumed me since the day he was born." Joe drops to a crouch in front of him, his face only inches from Caleb's. "Did he tell you what I did to your mother and sister?" He grins, and Caleb remains still. "Well, I'll tell you. First, I fucked them. I fucked your whore of a mother, and then I fucked your pretty little virginal sister." He smiles as Caleb swallows hard, his face twisting in pain.
"Oh, how she screamed," he whispers. "And when I was done, I let my men fuck them. Over. And over. Until they begged for mercy. I broke every bone in your sister's body, and I made that whore watch. I broke her piece by piece until your mother begged me to kill her own daughter."
Caleb is shaking, his teeth gritted. I can see the muscles in his arms tense and release. Joe stands up and turns his back on Caleb, moving toward me slowly.
"I filmed the whole thing." He smiles, clearly pleased with himself. "I sent it to that piece of shit father of yours!" Joe shouts, his face turning puce. He quickly reins his temper back in, smoothing the front of his suit jacket.
My stomach churns violently. Jude told me he saw that video, and I never asked the details, but hearing them now... my heart breaks for him and Caleb, for the two women who suffered at his hands. I've seen and felt the extent of Joe's hatred. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Joe pulls in a long breath before continuing. "And then your brother took my second wife from me as well." He breathes heavily, his shoulders tense. "My fucking pregnant wife!" he shouts, his voice showing an edge of hysteria.
I would say I feel bad for him. There was a time when I would have, but now... now, I want to smile because the sick fuck deserves everything he gets. There's a beat of silence, and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife.
He points at Caleb. "You will fuck her, and I'm going to film it. I'm going to send it to Jude." He turns to me, reaching out and stroking my face. Bile rises in my throat at his touch. "Oh, how it will break his cold little heart." He laughs to himself. "Camera!" he snaps.
I already know one of his guys is filming this. This is a drill I'm familiar with. I swallow hard as the room begins to spin. I grip the edge of the desk, trying desperately to keep myself routed. Caleb's leg bumps against mine. I drag my eyes open to find him standing over me, his expression full of turmoil.
Joe cocks his gun, pressing it against Caleb's temple. "You fuck her, or you die," he mocks.
My palms are slick with sweat, even as shivers rack my body. I press my head against the unforgiving wood and fix my eyes on the ceiling, accepting my fate, however horrible it might be. There is no point in fighting. Joe always wins.
"No," Caleb growls.
"Caleb," I rasp. "Just do it. It's okay." What I don't say is he can't possibly do anything to me that hasn't already been done ten times worse. I can see the horror in his eyes. This is my eternal nightmare, I've accepted it, and I will endure it to save his life. In Joe's twisted game of love and war, the rules are simple. Play and survive, or die.
There's a long pause before I hear Caleb's whispered voice again. "I'm not a fucking monster. I'd rather you kill me."
Joe laughs again. "Commendable. Fine. Fuck her, or I'll kill her."
I slowly glance up at Joe and find myself staring down the barrel of his gun. I smile and find the energy to slowly drag myself into a sitting position. I wrap my fingers around the barrel of his gun and press it against my forehead. "Do it," I say.
"Ria, no!" Caleb shouts at me.
I don't pay him any attention. I stare straight into the eyes of the devil, daring him to end it right here, right now. I can't remember ever wanting anything so badly... and I know Joe sees it.
He leans forward, holding the gun in place as he brings his lips to my ear. "I'm not done with you yet, princess. You're worth more to me alive." My heart plummets in my chest as all hope evaporates. He grabs my jaw, angling my face up and licking my cheek. "You should know by now not to test me, sweet Victoria."
He spins away from me so quickly I barely manage to stay upright. He raises the gun in front of him and pulls the trigger. The loud bang echoes around the room and Caleb's body falls to the ground. I scream as a pain like no other rips through my chest. Caleb's lifeless eyes stare at the ceiling, a trail of blood streaming from the small bullet hole between his eyes. All I can hear is the sound of my own screams. He killed Caleb. He killed Caleb.