GETTING HOME FROM my day, I decide to just make myself some Ramen noodles and relax until Trent comes over. He called a little while ago to let me know he was swinging by his place to grab a bag of clothes and stuff he will need for work tomorrow, and then he'd be here. Sitting on the couch, I prop my feet up on my coffee-table and sit with my dinner. Hey, I'm twenty-one, a student and I live alone, I can't afford to splurge on too much. “You do need to start eating better,” I tell myself. Sighing, I think of my afternoon.
After I returned from lunch, I saw I had a text from Amy asking how my day was going. I wonder if he called her. I texted her back that I would call her later, that my day was okay.
I had looked up to the sky for a moment to gather the feelings suddenly bubbling to the surface again. I knew I couldn’t cry there with everyone milling around at school. Couldn't deal with even talking to anyone right then.
Amy is Trent’s older sister. She has her own kids and husband, but she and I became fast and good friends. After class I called her back really quick before heading home. Trent hadn’t told her.
“So, he is coming over tonight to take your other test with you? Umm, does he think the results will change with his magical presence?”
I doubled over snorting with laughter at her comment. Leave it to Amy to bring the comedy and sass out in a situation that needs it.
“I think he wants to be part of it, I don't know,” I told her, composing myself. “I need him though. I need to know he is in this with me. Better to find out now that he isn't than later. I'm just so scared he isn't ready for this leap. I mean we aren't married, we aren't engaged, we don't live together. Hell, we've only been together two months, Amy,” I told her trying to relay my fears.
Her voice came through sweetly and friendly. “Well, my dear, he would be wise not to cross you out. Ahem, let me clarify. His manhood is on the line with this if you catch my drift,” she says and I can imagine her making scissor motions with her fingers.
Eyes wide, I laugh and can just imagine her going toe to toe with her brother.
“Thanks, honey. I will definitely be filling you in tomorrow. I'm not calling tonight to recap with him here, so don't get pissy when you don't hear from me, okay?”
“Ugh, fine,” she said, pretending to be put out.
“I better head over to Mrs. Beck and see what she has planned for me to do for the rest of the day,” I told her, going to hang up and headed toward my class I sat in the rest of the day.
“Later waddles,” she calls out, causing me to almost drop my phone as I was hanging up and give her my mean face. Then I realize she can't see it.
“What? That will be you by the end of the school year,” she said on a laugh.
Shaking my head, I just hit end. Snot.
***
Slowly opening my eyelids, I see Trent bent over me on the couch rubbing my face soothingly.
“Hi babe,” I say to him, slowly sitting up.
“You okay, sweetheart? I was calling your name for a few minutes, you were out pretty hard.”
“I'm sorry, I don't even remember laying down. I was sitting here waiting for you and had some noodles. I couldn't wait to see you,” I say, kissing his lips.
His kiss is warm, soft, and full of emotion as he grabs my face to pull me closer to him. I open my eyes to stare into his dark brown ones. Pulling back, I notice his dark hair array, as if he has been running his hand through it a lot today. I know that feeling of not knowing, but I'm unsure what has him edgy. He reeks of alcohol.
“Are you okay, babe? I mean I know I dropped a huge bomb on you today that neither of us expected, but you look so defeated. Are you upset with me? You didn't go drink too much, did you?
“Oh God, baby, no. You shocked me. I didn't know what to think first and I left early to go meet up with Brad,” he says while pulling me onto his lap.
Wrapping my arms around his neck and putting my forehead to his, I just breathe deeply.
“Go take your other test, baby. I want to be here with you when the results come up,” he says gently.
When I pull back with a puzzled look on my face, he just shakes his head and stands up with me still in his arms.
“I want to have a do-over. I want to pretend we did this together the first time like we should have,” he says, setting me on my feet outside the bathroom door.
“I wish you would have waited for me, talked to me before you did it alone, baby,” he says, squeezing me tightly and kissing the top of my head.
Being that he is 6'2 to my 5’5 petite frame, I am quite snuggled right against his heart that beats steadily under my cheek.
“I had to know, babe, I couldn't wait another minute to find out why I was feeling so weird. But I honestly wasn't expecting it to be this,” I tell him, hoping he believes me, placing a kiss to his heart.
Grabbing my hand, he pulls me into the bathroom and sees the other test still sitting on the counter. “Shall we get this party started, sweetheart?” he asks, lifting the box with the other test while chuckling to himself.
Grabbing it out of his hand, I give him a smirk and push him out of the bathroom.
“You aren't gonna be in here with me for the first part, babe. I love you but no way are you watching me pee on this thing. It's just awkward,” I tell him, scrunching up my face sourly.
Crossing his arms, he laughs. “Awkward, huh? I'd venture to say this is only the beginning of “awkward”,” he says using air quotes.
“Yeah well, it isn't starting today,” I tell him, kissing his lips while I start to close the door.
“Okay, okay.” He laughs, putting his hands up and retreating backwards as I close the door.
“I'll be right outside the door listening to you pee on it.”
“Yep, listen away, you aren't coming in until it's capped and on the counter for the countdown,” I tell him.
Feeling a sense of deja vu, I go round two with test number two. As soon as he hears the toilet flush, he bursts through the door with my egg timer in his hand.
“How long do we wait? I'll set the timer and we can look together,” he asks with an adorable look on his face.
Washing my hands, I look up into the mirror and catch his face in the reflection. “Three minutes,” I say, smiling while watching him set it and put it on the counter. Figures he sets it the right way.
“Let's go downstairs. I need to clean my dishes up anyway and it will be the perfect thing to keep my mind off the countdown,” I grab his hand and pulling him from the bathroom.
He follows me into the kitchen and just sits at the table while I load my bowl, pan, and fork into the dishwasher.
“I'm going to take a piss real quick, babe.” He gets up and heads upstairs to the bathroom.
“No peeking,” I yell over my shoulder, “you are so cheating right now.”
Laughing to himself he just shuts the door.
Drying my hands off, I go to the living room and sit on the couch until he comes down. My leg is going a mile a minute with nerves and I can't sit still. Why am I so jittery now? Like the results are going to suddenly change from this afternoon. I just don't know how this is going to pan out with us. Especially if he keeps going on the way he has been. Meeting with Brad was clearly more than ‘a drink’.
He comes down from the bathroom with his poker face on as we hear the timer ding. Grabbing my hand, he pulls me to him for a kiss and pulls me back upstairs. I take a deep breath and open my eyes to the two tests resting on the counter with identical pink lines. Looking up at him, I see him smirk.
“You already saw it, didn't you?”
“Yeah I did,” he says laughing.
I playfully punch him in the arm and walk back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. My mouth is suddenly dry and all the emotions are flooding back that I did so well to hold away the rest of the day. Now he's here and it's real for us both with test number two.
“Baby,” he says behind me gently. “We need to talk about this. You can't hold yourself away from me.” He turns my chin toward him and looks me in the eyes.
Mine well up and my chin quivers as I really try to not lose it.
“I'm so scared,” I whisper to him while staring back up at his pleading eyes.
“What are you scared of, sweetheart, talk to me,” he pleads gently while wiping my tears with the pads of his thumbs.
“I'm so afraid of what will happen to us. We are so new to this relationship together. We both have so many things going on, and finding time together lately has already been difficult. I don't want this to be the final nail of something you can't handle in your already busy life,” I say through tears.
He smiles, bending down to frame my face gently with his hands. “I love you, Andrea. I'm in this with you and I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he says, gently kissing my lips.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in closer to me so that I can be flush up against him deepening the kiss.
He moans and pulls me tighter lifting me with my feet dangling from the floor. Giving one last gentle peck, he pulls back and looks me in the eyes, his dimples peeking through his gentle smile.
“No more tears, baby, no more worrying. I will talk to Brad and see when I can get out of my lease on the apartment with him and I will move in here with you by the time the baby is born. Of course we will still be staying together every night until then, but we will just take it one day at a time,” he says sweetly while running his nose against mine.
Of course it only causes the tears to fall again while I smile at his sweet words I needed so badly to hear.
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
Setting me back down so my feet are on the floor, he takes my hand and pulls me toward my bedroom. “I think we've had enough excitement and exhaustion for the day, sweetheart. Right now I just want to lay down with you and hold you.” He turns my bedroom light on. “Get up there and get cozy, I'm going to grab my bag and meet you right back in here.”
Nodding, I start to get undressed for bed. Catching my reflection in my dresser mirror, I hold my hand to my flat tummy and smile. Soon it won't be so flat. Climbing up into bed wearing my favorite T-shirt of Trent’s, I snuggle up and wait for him to join me. Feeling the bed dip on the other side of the bed, I am pulled back against his chest as his arms come around me. Kissing my neck and inhaling deeply, he relaxes and whispers, “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too,” I whisper back while squeezing his arms tighter to me.
Settling down, I finally let my exhaustion take me into a deep but peaceful sleep.