‘That girl is living the life I want,’ Lou said, as a girl went past on a bike. She was wearing a fake fur coat and a beret and had a bowling bag over her shoulder.
‘What’s wrong with your life?’ Ella asked Lou.
Lou shrugged. ‘No, you’re right. It’s fine. It’s just … I always think about different lives I could have. Don’t you?’
‘Not really,’ Ella lied. ‘I think you have to live the life you have.’
Lou reached out and pinched her cheek. ‘And that is why I love you.’
‘Why?’
‘You’re so … straightforward.’ Lou tore open a sachet and emptied the sugar into her latte.
‘Oh my god,’ Ella said, veering away from Lou’s hand. ‘That means boring.’
‘No! You’re not boring. I love you. You’re sensible. Steady. Smart.’
‘Ugh,’ Ella said. ‘I’m nineteen. I shouldn’t be any of those things.’
‘Like, if it wasn’t for me, you’d be at home drinking latte from a sachet instead of out here in the world throwing caution and £2.59 to the wind.’
Ella stuck her tongue out at her, before lifting her latte and taking a sip. Ella did think that paying for a drink they could make at home was a waste. But she’d started telling herself the drink was free and she was paying for the experience of sitting in a cafe with her friend and people-watching. It helped. The cute guy behind the counter didn’t hurt either – she’d seen Lou eyeing him earlier.
‘Is there a barista on the list?’ Ella asked, jerking her head back towards the counter.
Lou grinned. ‘Can’t remember. But he’s cute, isn’t he? Dimples.’
‘Ask him out.’
Lou shook her head, her long earrings jangling. ‘Nah.’
‘Why not?’
‘He looks too nice.’
‘Oh god,’ Ella said. ‘I don’t understand you. I thought you got that out of your system with Kyle.’
Lou slurped some coffee, shaking her head. ‘Stop trying to change the subject. We were talking about you.’ She tapped Ella’s coffee cup with a teaspoon. ‘You’re happy, aren’t you? You don’t want to be different. You don’t want to be wild. You can do shorthand, for fuck’s sake!’
Ella looked down at the table where her notebook and pen from that morning’s lecture were laid out. ‘It’s useful!’
‘I know it is. That’s what I’m saying. I come out of lectures and I can’t read my notes. Or I lose them. Or I forget my laptop. You come out of lectures with perfectly ordered notes that are actually helpful.’
‘Wow,’ Ella said. ‘Hot.’
Lou grinned at her. ‘Do you want me to Rizzo you, is that what you’re saying? You’re Sandra Dee and you want the leather kecks and the cig and the “Tell me about it … stud”.’
‘No,’ Ella said. ‘God, no.’ She picked up her pen and doodled a 3D box in the corner of the page. ‘Maybe … a bit.’
‘Your hair?’
‘What’s wrong with my hair?!’
‘Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s lovely. It’s just a bit …’
‘I think you’d look great with brighter hair, is all I’m saying. Maybe pink? You mentioned that before. And the Christmas party’s coming up. Bookshop Boy might be there …’
‘Oh god.’ Ella twisted her mouth to the side as she tried to picture herself with pink hair. ‘What about lavender? Like yours?’
Lou had decided the silver was too high-maintenance and had gone lavender the week before.
‘You want us to go around together with matching hair?’
‘Oh yeah,’ Ella said. ‘Maybe not.’
‘Pink then,’ Ella said. ‘But not, like, baby pink. Brighter.’
‘Like this?’ Lou said, holding up her beanie that had been resting on top of her bag on the table. ‘Raspberry?’
‘Yeah,’ Ella said. ‘Raspberry. Would that look good, do you think?’
‘I think it’ll look gorgeous,’ Lou said. ‘Come and get it done tonight – I’m working ’til nine.’
Liane walked in and did a double take at Ella and Lou before walking over to join them.
‘We were just admiring the barista,’ Lou told her, nodding in the direction of the counter.
‘That’s why I’m here, actually,’ Liane said. She gestured at Lou’s coffee. ‘Can I? I’m gasping.’
‘I’ll get you one,’ Ella said, shoving her chair back. ‘Unless you …?’
Liane shook her head. ‘That’s not him. And don’t worry, I can go.’
‘You’re fine,’ Ella said, heading over to the counter.
‘How is she always so nice?’ Liane asked Lou.
‘No idea,’ Lou said. ‘She makes me sick.’ She slid her coffee back and took a quick sip before pushing it back to Liane. ‘So. How’s things with you?’
‘Confusing,’ Liane said, scrunching her face up. ‘Do you ever think …’ She shook her head. ‘This is going to make me sound insane.’
Lou shrugged. ‘Go for it.’
‘I have, like, all this stuff in my head. And I don’t know how much of it is real and how much I’m making up, you know? Like … I spent ages, years, thinking I liked this guy. And now I’m not sure I ever really did. So now I like this other guy –’
‘The barista?’ Lou asked.
Liane nodded. ‘His name’s Alfie. But how do I know if I really do? Or if I’m making it up again?’
Lou frowned. ‘I think you just have to try anyway? And see where it goes. And try to be honest with yourself about what you want.’
‘Historically,’ Liane said, finishing Lou’s coffee, ‘I have not been good at that.’
‘Fuck,’ Lou agreed. ‘Me neither.’
The salon Lou worked in looked like a cross between a junk shop and a tattoo parlour. The walls were covered in framed paintings and neon signs. A huge, squashy, patterned sofa took up most of the back wall and was piled with cushions. The sinks and units were reclaimed from a 1950s beauty salon. Only the client chairs were modern and even then they were bright pink leather.
Lou pasted the dye over Ella’s hair, while telling her about a client they’d had the previous night who’d wanted rainbow hair and had brought a My Little Pony with her to show them the colours.
‘I think Katie Price killed off the whole looking-like-My-Little-Pony thing,’ Lou said. ‘That and the bronies.’
‘What?’ Ella said. Her phone was buzzing in her pocket.
‘Jordan. You know? She did a book launch dressed as a My Little Pony. With the hair and an actual horse body.’
Ella pulled her phone out of her pocket. ‘She had a horse body?’
‘The back of one. You know, like a cyclops. No, not a cyclops. Centurion. No. What the fuck’s it called?’
Ella shook her head, feeling her hair tug in Lou’s hands, and then answered the phone, holding it an inch or so away from her ear so as not to get dye on it.
‘Sid?’ Lou shouted to the back of the shop. ‘What’s the thing called that’s half man, half horse?’
‘Is this a cock question?’ Ella heard Sid say and then her brother said, ‘Heyyyyyyy!’
Ella laughed. ‘Are you drunk?’
‘Sooooo dunk.’
‘I’m getting my hair dyed bright pink,’ Ella said. ‘Right now. In Lou’s salon.’
‘Hot Lou?’ Dylan said. ‘And high.’
‘Did he just say ‘Hot Lou’?’ Lou said, her eyes meeting Ella’s in the mirror. ‘Who’s that?’
‘Are you saying hi or that you’re high?’ Ella said, frowning into the phone.
‘Centaur!’ Sid yelled. ‘I googled.’
‘Centaur, that’s it,’ Lou said. ‘Els. Who is it?’
‘It’s my brother,’ Ella said. ‘Can I just …’ She started to get out of the seat. ‘For just a minute?’
‘Seriously, just a minute though. Or you’ll come out patchy. Apache. Is that another horse?’
‘Palomino,’ Sid said, before disappearing into the back room again. ‘And don’t google bronies, for fuck’s sake.’
Ella walked to the front of the salon and opened the door, stepping outside onto the street. ‘Dylan? Did you say you’re high?’
‘Just a bit, yeah. Was it Hot Lou?’
‘Yes, that Lou. How are you? Who are you with?’
‘The boys! Noah. And Calum.’
‘Don’t let them leave you on your own though, Dylan. Promise me.’
‘They’re not going to leave me on my own,’ Dylan mumbled. And then he shouted, ‘THEY LOVE ME.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ Ella said. ‘I love you too. And I know what you’re like when you’re high. And you need to not be on your own. Can I talk to one of them? Put Calum on the phone.’
‘Fuck off, Els. You sound like Mum. They’ll all take good care of me, don’t worry.’ He snorted.
‘God,’ Ella said. ‘I’ll ring you later then. Make sure you’re still alive.’
‘I might not answer though. I might’ve pulled. Calum met these girls and –’
‘Oh my god, shut up,’ Ella said. ‘As if I want to hear about that. I’m going back in now, before I fuck my hair up. Promise me you’ll be sensible.’
‘Sensible is no fun!’ Dylan almost shouted.
Ella turned to open the door and it was only then she really realised she’d been standing out in the street with pink dye plastered to half of her head. And of course it was also exactly then that she saw the boy from the bookshop walking towards her.
‘Oh shit,’ she muttered. ‘Fucking shit.’ The door wouldn’t open. Of course it wouldn’t open.
‘Are you OK?’ Dylan said. ‘Is your head burning? That happens to Noah sometimes when –’
‘No, Dyl. It’s fine. Just … call me later, yeah. Even if you pull.’
‘Hey,’ the boy said, as he walked past.
‘Love you,’ Dylan said.
Ella wanted to bash her head against the door, but she didn’t want to get dye on the glass.
‘Love you too,’ she said into the phone.
She pulled at the door again, resisting the urge to boot through the glass. And then Lou was walking towards her and opening the door.
‘You could’ve just tried pushing,’ Lou said.
‘Fuck,’ Ella said.