On Sunday, Lou made a curry and they all sat around the huge table in the living room together. Issey and Liane had both had hangovers all day and had spent most of it on the sofa watching How to Get Away With Murder and napping. Paige had been at work. Ella had made a start on her course reading. And Lou had slept in until just after lunchtime and then joined Issey and Liane in Shondaland.
‘So I’ve been thinking about that list,’ Lou said, dipping naan into her curry. ‘I think we should do it. For reals.’
‘Seriously?’ Ella said.
‘Yeah, I think it could be a laugh. We don’t all have to shag everyone on it. Just, you know, if you fancy a shag, have a look at the list for ideas.’
Issey laughed. ‘I like that idea. Like a menu. A menu of men. A MEN-u. Fuck it, that doesn’t work.’
‘Don’t you think it’s kind of … sleazy?’ Ella said.
Lou rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah. But in a good way. Just … we all want to have sex, yeah?’
Ella shrugged, but the others agreed.
‘This way we get to have sex, but without the bullshit.’
‘Leaving us free to focus on our studies,’ Paige said, looking at Ella over the top of her glasses.
‘Exactly,’ Lou said. ‘It’s genius, really.’
‘I can’t believe it was the “focus on your studies” bit that convinced you,’ Lou said.
‘I didn’t say I was convinced.’ Ella stabbed a piece of carrot and popped it in her mouth. ‘Just that I’ll give it a go.’
‘I’m up for it,’ Liane said. ‘Definitely. Last year was a dis-as-ter, boys-wise. This year I need a plan.’
‘Excellent,’ Lou said. ‘Are we happy with the full list?’
‘What was it again?’ Paige said. ‘Where’s the magazine?’
‘I think I stuck it back under the table.’ Issey pushed her chair back and headed out onto the terrace, coming back in holding the magazine at arm’s length between her fingertips. ‘It’s wet. And gross.’
‘Don’t put it on the tabl—’ Ella said, as Issey flopped it down on the end of the table where no one was sitting.
‘Read it out, Iz,’ Liane said.
‘Right,’ Issey said, leaning over the table so she could read it without touching it. ‘Tattoo, a waiter, Greek waiter, someone off a reality show, a man who once went to jail, cab driver, another girl, a friend’s brother, someone in a band, your teacher or boss, someone twice your age, someone in uniform, your best friend and we were going to add someone, weren’t we?’
‘Someone who doesn’t speak English?’ Lou said. ‘For Issey.’
‘Yes!’ Issey grinned. ‘Get in.’
‘Can we make it gender neutral?’ Paige asked.
‘Are you gay?’ Issey asked, before she could stop herself.
Paige shrugged. ‘Queer. Bi, I think. Or maybe pan.’
‘What’s pan?’ Liane said.
‘Gender is irrelevant,’ Paige said. ‘I’m more interested in people than genitals.’
‘God, I love a good genital,’ Lou said, closing her eyes and smiling.
Paige laughed. ‘So you’re all straight, then?’
‘I am,’ Ella said. She’d got her notebook out and was writing in it on the table next to her plate.
‘Of course you are,’ Lou said. ‘And are you seriously writing the Fuck It List down in your bullet journal? Have you got the washi tape for that?’
‘Fuck off,’ Ella said. ‘And you’re straight too!’
‘I have been so far, it’s true,’ Lou said. ‘But I’m open to new experiences.’
‘That’s what uni’s for, isn’t it?’ Liane said. ‘Trying this stuff out.’
Issey chewed the corner of her mouth. ‘I’ve only been with boys,’ she said. She wanted to say that she thought about being with girls, but she couldn’t make the words come out of her mouth.
‘Cool,’ Paige said. ‘So if we just make it gender neutral, yeah?’
‘So when do we start?’ Liane asked.
‘Tomorrow?’ Lou suggested. ‘I would’ve said first day of term, but we’ve missed that. Sooner the better. Strike while the iron’s hot and all that.’
‘And it ends?’ Paige asked.
‘End of second year,’ Lou said.
‘Agreed,’ Issey said.
Liane held up her beer bottle. ‘Works for me.’
Paige leaned forward and clinked her own bottle against Liane’s, inspiring Lou, Issey and Ella to do the same.
‘To the Fuck It List!’ Lou said. ‘May the odds be ever in your favour.’
‘Or your pants,’ Issey added.