Never Say Goodbye

(EMILY)

My entire body is boiling over. I can’t lie still, and my hips and shoulders writhe around on Steel’s bed. I can’t stop screaming and moaning, even though I’m struggling to breathe. All my nervousness has flown out the window.

Steel’s finger and mouth stop for a moment. He leaves his finger in me, which is good. My walls need something to clamp onto. My hips slow, and he lays gentle kisses over my mound and legs.

I sink into the mattress in bliss, and bask in the sensation of the bubbling that still fills my body. My moaning and screaming has stopped, and my chest heaves while I try to catch my breath.

What was that pain earlier? Oh well, it doesn’t matter.

I’m ready for him to climb up here and put his dick in me. Except he said he wasn’t going to. He wasn’t serious, was he?

Steel rests his cheek on my hip and says, “You’re unreal.”

Unable to form words yet, a small groan comes from my throat.

His hands slide up my body, my skin humming under the contact. Before I know it, his body is alongside mine, his hand resting on my breast. It feels good to lie here with him like this, and I close my eyes to listen to his breathing.

With huge effort, I roll onto my side to face him. He’s still wearing his jeans and T-shirt, and I can’t wait for him to take them off. Our faces are inches apart, our blue eyes at the same level. Our gazes lock, filling my body with warmth. It’s a comfort almost, and I’m perfectly at ease where I am right now.

“You sure ain’t like any other girl, ever,” he says, his voice low and rich.

The words fill me. I don’t care what Courtney would say, they wrap around me and fill up with something I’ve never known before. And it feels damn good.

I open my mouth to respond, but before I get a word out, his mouth is on mine and he’s kissing me. Not the heated kiss like earlier. It’s a different quality.

I pull away for a second, “Aren’t you going to take your clothes off?” I ask, moving my hand to his crotch and rubbing his dick through his jeans.

“I already said that’s not happening.”

Why does he keep saying that? I don’t understand.

“You promised to show me all your tattoos.”

The tip of his nose brushes against mine, before he tilts his head and kisses me. His kisses start off soft and gentle, before becoming more and more fueled by want. The hand that’s been holding my breast moves, his fingertips caressing it until they circle onto my nipple.

When he pinches my nipple, a shot of heat pools between my legs and a groan escapes my throat. Steel’s kisses move down my body, stopping in the curve of my waist, my hip bones and my inner thighs.

By the time he finally reaches my mound, I’m so full of lust and need I can barely contain myself. I hope no one hears my moaning, but I can’t help myself.

As much as I want him to take his clothes off, any wondering about his clothes vanishes from my mind. Nothing else exists except the pleasure he is bringing my body.

His tongue and his hand make me more and more crazy with each second.

“Steel!” I scream as my back arches involuntarily. An even more powerful orgasm rips through me.

As it subsides, I melt into a puddle under his touch. After the first time tonight, I never thought I’d feel that way again. Yet here I am, thirty minutes later feeling every bit as amazing, if not better.

“Don’t move,” he says.

As if. I vaguely notice him go into his little ensuite washroom and reappear a moment later. Steel stands in the little floor space beside the bed and looks down at me. His eyes travel over my body while his head shakes.

Scratching the back of his neck, he climbs into the narrow bed and lies beside me. I’m still on my back, and he lies on his side.

Steel rests his head on my shoulder. His fingers trail over my breasts, making my nipples stand.

I want to ask why he won’t take his clothes off. I want to ask why he doesn’t want to have sex with me, or at least let me play with his dick. But I don’t. Maybe I’m too chicken. Maybe it’s only four in the morning, and I don’t have to go home just yet.

We lie in silence for ages, listening to each other breathe.

“I had to get away from my foster family,” he says, breaking the silence.

He told me. He fricking told me.

“Were they a real nightmare?”

“Not too bad. I was just a stranger in their house, and that’s how I got treated.”

“How old were you?”

“Like I said before, seventeen.”

“And the carnival called?”

“It was one option, and it turned out good.”

I hesitate for a moment, and say, “No regrets.”

“Exactly. How else would I get to meet you?”

“Are you from North Carolina?”

“I’m from wherever my bunkhouse is.”

“Georgia?”

“My bunkhouse seems to be in North Carolina right now.”

I’m not going to ask again. He won’t answer anyway. We fall back into silence. I’m exhausted and fighting to stay awake. As much as I want to sleep, I know Steel’s leaving soon, and I’ll never see him again.

His hand leaves my breast and runs over my skin until it comes to a rest between my legs.

Steel swallows, and says, “Does it hurt?”

“What hurt?”

“This,” he says, gently moving his hand against my mound.

My God, it’s feeling pretty damn good.

“No,” I say.

He kisses my shoulder and says, “Good. Because I popped your cherry.”

My heavy eyes open wide as I remember the little bit of pain when he first entered me. The question and the memory make me blush.

“Oh. Yeah, I think I felt something.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine, it doesn’t matter.” At least it makes the idea of having sex for the first time more appealing.

More silence follows. I could lie here forever like this. Although I really do need to sleep. Time fades away as we talk and rest, then talk some more. Who knew the carny with the neck tattoo was such an amazing person. I should’ve known by his smile.

Sunlight starts to come through the window, brightening the room. Shit, it’s seven thirty. I sit upright and reach for my bra.

“You don’t have to go, we don’t open until ten today.”

“My car is at the gate! Someone will see it.”

“What happened to the girl who wanted the town to know she’s all grown up?”

“There’s a difference between an after-closing party and spending the whole night. Word will travel fast. I need to get home.”

The panties are a write-off. Steel ruined them when he ripped them off me. Commando it is. I pull my dress on and Steel helps me do it up.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he says, opening the bunkhouse door.

I look at him and sigh. I really wish he’d taken his clothes off.

“When do you go?” I ask, wanting another night like this. Except my parents get home at supper time today and I don’t think that’s an option.

We rush through the quiet trailers and vacant rides.

“We close early today, at five, then leave tomorrow night or Tuesday morning.”

“Good, maybe I’ll come to the carnival later, to enjoy myself.”

Steel flashes that broad, Hollywood smile at me and it takes all my willpower not to turn around and go right back to his bed.

We reach my car, the boring mom-car Corolla. I open the door and turn to face Steel. He immediately pulls me into him and squeezes me tight. My heart pounds against my ribs, telling me I shouldn’t be leaving this man. I don’t want to, but I have to.

“I’ll come back tonight,” I say.

“You get rested up today. I’m taking you back to my bed tonight, and I don’t think we’re going to get much sleep again.”

A smile springs across my face, and I say, “I can’t wait.”

He gives me a nice goodbye kiss, one that reminds me what I’m coming back for and will make sure I’m back here the second they close.

I get into my car and look up at him. Steel rests a hand on the top of my open door and leans down to me.

“I can’t wait to see you again. I mean it, Goldie, you’re not like any other person I ever knew. You’re amazing.”

Sucking air into my lungs, I swallow and say, “You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

There’s that smile again, the one that I could follow like a lost puppy.

“Later,” Steel says and shuts the door.

I start the car and drive the few minutes to my house. It’s a good thing it’s so close, and my head is nodding with fatigue. I’ve been awake for over twenty-four hours. I’m grateful the streets are still pretty quiet, even though it’s after seven.

When I get home, I stagger up the stairs and flop into my bed, not even bothering to take off my dress. I close my eyes and sleep.