Room for Two
(Darcy)
I watch as chocolate streams down my body and spirals into the drain.
“Let me do it,” Liam says.
He takes a washcloth, suds it up and slowly washes me clean. I close my eyes, remembering how good it feels to shower with someone. To be treated so intimately and delicately.
“Next time you’re going to have to let me work the chocolate,” I say, eyeing Liam’s shockingly large dick.
He brushes my hair from my face in a tender action, and says, “As long as there’s a next time.”
My eyes flare as I realize what I said. Without any doubt or second guessing or fear, the words came out. I shift my gaze to the drain, watching as the water and chocolate twirls and vanishes.
Nudging my cheek with his lips, Liam draws my eyes off the floor and into his. My breath is heavy, and I suddenly feel light headed. He kisses my lips, but I’m paralyzed and can’t respond to his touch.
“Stop being afraid, Darcy Knight, and live,” he says.
“What?” I exclaim as I take a step back from him.
“I mean, give us a chance. Stop running from your past and embrace your future.”
“Huh? What do you know about my past?” My brow is furrowed, and I’m completely out of the stream of water. Goose bumps coat my skin, either from the cooler air or his comment.
Liam pulls me back into the water, into him. He wraps his strong arms around me, and says, “I Googled you. ‘Darcy Knight founded the charity Young Hearts after losing her fiancé to a heart attack at a young age.’”
My jaw drops, and I look up at him, searching his face for an explanation. I suppose it’s normal to Google people. After all, I tried finding him online. And my past isn’t hidden. But the memory is still raw. The pain still so great, that I swore I’d never expose myself to it again.
“That’s why you don’t do second dates, isn’t it?” Liam asks, his voice tender.
“Maybe. So?”
“So, I understand why your father said those things to you. As much as whatever else he said and however big an ass he is. It was awful, and tragic, but what would be even more tragic is if you missed out on your life from fear of living.”
I swallow, but it doesn’t relieve the tightness in my throat. Tears well in my eyes, and start to roll down my cheeks. I put my face back in the flow of the water to mask them.
No one has ever confronted me about the situation, certainly not a man I’ve just had sex with and am standing naked in a shower with.
It’s an issue I’ve been grappling with all week. After my feelings in Austin, and then Kirsten’s lecture, I’ve been trying to be logical. But at the same time, these fucking feelings I get whenever I’m in Liam’s presence completely destroy any chance I have at pretending I’m a Vulcan. All I want to do when I’m with him is melt into his arms and let him hold me forever.
Or whatever else he wants to do to me.
Despite four years of trying not to feel anything for any man, he walked into my life and set me on fire. He makes my body scream too loud for me to ignore. And fills me with some kind of joy when we talk.
I can’t do this anymore — I can’t fight my heart, or my body. No matter how hard I try, the fear in my mind can’t fight against the rest of me.
“I think maybe for you, I can do a second date,” I say quietly, and wonder if my words were lost in the noise of the shower.
Liam tucks my hair behind my ear, and closes his mouth over mine. His lips electrify me, and ground me. I can give him a chance. Give myself a chance at feeling love again.
My mind races, wondering what Tanner would think. Would falling in love with someone else be betraying him? I’ve never stopped loving Tanner. Is there room to love someone else as well?
I remember what Tanner once said to me, All I want is for you to be happy. Does this count? Is this what he’d want? For me to find happiness without him?
Breaking the kiss, I breathe. I suck down great gulps and force the air into my lungs. All I can see is Tanner’s face, his dimples showing as he smiles at me.
For a moment, I forget where I am, and the grief comes flooding back. It washes over me as if I’ve just learned of his fatal coronary. My knees weaken and I feel as though I’m going to collapse to the ground.
“Hey, hey,” Liam says, and I realize where I am and who I’m with.
“Sorry,” I say and manage a weak smile before burying myself in his chest to prevent him from seeing my face.
Liam holds me tight, and we stand in the pounding water while I try my best not to break down.
I want to do this, with him. To try to see if this powerful thing between us leads anywhere. I really do. But how embarrassing that it’s started this way, with me falling apart in his shower. Hopefully he hasn’t noticed.
“Your heart is big enough for two,” he says softly in my ear.
I scoff. “All the money in the world won’t save you from a heart attack.”
“Perhaps,” he says, leaning back and raising his eyebrows. “But it does buy me the best preventative care. You’re right, no one is totally safe. You’ve been unlucky before. It’s not going to happen to you again.”
“But…” I start to protest but he strokes my cheek.
“It must be difficult, I can’t even imagine, but I’ll support you. Just don’t run from me again, or hide away and deny what you know we can have.”
A final tear trickles down my cheek, and Liam brushes it away with his thumb. I swallow hard, this time releasing all the tension in my throat. I feel lighter, somehow. As if I’ve set down the millstone I’ve been carrying around since Tanner died four and a half years ago.
I even manage to smile at Liam, a broad smile that radiates up from deep inside me. His supportive words make me want to jump up and wrap my arms and legs around him again. Instead, almost bashfully, I say, “Thank you.”
He shuts off the water and pulls a giant, fluffy white towel from the heated towel rail and wraps it around me. Without getting himself a towel, he rubs over my back and arms, drying my body.
“Thirsty?” He asks as he finally reaches for his own towel.
“A drink would be good,” I say, knowing I won’t be leaving this palatial apartment anytime soon.
Liam takes my towel and holds out one of his bathrobes for me to put my arms in. Once my arms are through, he wraps it around me and ties the waistband. It’s huge, but comfy and warm, and smells like him.
After he puts on another bathrobe, he takes my hand and says, “Come.”
He hasn’t bothered to do up the tie of his bathrobe, and it hangs open as we walk. It’s a good thing he’s holding my hand and guiding me, because I’m definitely not looking where I’m going. I can’t pull my eyes from his tattoo-covered muscles, and the massive dick that seems like it reaches to his knees.