“Lola, wait!” I called out.

“Just let her go, Tay,” Mel said, pulling me back. “I’d say you just had a lucky escape. That girl causes nothing but drama.”

“Fuck off, Mel,” I spat. “What the fuck did you say to her? Nothing happened last night. Nothing at all,” I continued. Sure, I had been completely out of it but I would’ve remembered if I had fucked some chick.

All I could do was watch the back end of the taxi disappearing into the night. I knew if I went after her it would only make things worse. Giving her time to cool off would be the sensible option, but I couldn’t let her leave thinking this had all been a game. She had to know I hadn’t slept with Mel.

“You don’t need her, Taylor.”

“Why, Mel? Why are you doing this?” I asked, exasperated.

“Because I can. Because she should know that you and her will never work out. You would only end up hurting her, Taylor. It’s better she found out this way than deluding herself into thinking the two of you could actually work.”

“I love her,” I admitted.

“No, you only think you do. You don’t care. Not really.”

“I do care about her,” I whispered.

“Hello? Last night? If you cared about her like you say you do, you wouldn’t have been in my bed.”

“It wasn’t like that. We never—”

Mel let out a cold, calculated laugh and walked off.

I scrubbed my face in my hands and cursed. How had I screwed up so badly? I’d thought I was doing the right thing by pushing her away, and now she hated me and I couldn’t even blame her.

“It’s over, Taylor.”

I looked up, seeing Brie at the top of the concrete steps that lead to the club. Great. That was all I fucking needed.

“Drop it, B,” I breathed out.

“No, you drop, dick. Don’t you think you’ve done enough already? That girl is so close to breaking it scares me. It scares me so fucking much when I see her hurting that way. I thought you could help her. Take her mind away from everything she’d gone through. I messed up and now I have to live with that, but I promise you this: I will never, never let you hurt her again. Do you hear me?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her, B. I swear. It fuckin’ kills me knowing I did that to her.”

“Why did you do it then? You had something great and you messed it all up. Why?”

Enough was enough. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I needed Aubrie to know how I felt, so I told her everything. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Lola, but this shit with my dad and my mum had fucked me up. I knew that if Lola had stuck around, I’d only have dragged her into it and ruined everything. It was easier to pretend that she didn’t exist than admit how I really felt about her. Lola thought I was playing the game and yeah, maybe in the beginning I had been, but somewhere along the way things had changed. I was no longer in control—of myself or my feelings. She was. She held the ball.

And for once, I didn’t know how to run with it.

“So? What are you waiting for?” Brie asked when I’d finished telling her everything.

“Huh?” I asked, my brows knitting together in confusion.

She shooed me away with a wave of her hand. “Go get her.”

“I can’t. She’ll never forgive me, B. She hates me.”

“Is Taylor Lawson, star striker at Winslow Falls, actually admitting defeat? Well…” She sighed. “I never thought I’d see this day.”

“Why do you care so much? You hate me, too. You pretty much swore me off her at the lake house. You said—”

“I know what I said, but that was before I knew how you felt.”

“And now?”

Brie flashed me a grin. “Now I’m wondering why the hell you’re still standing here talking to me when my best friend is all alone, wondering what the hell is wrong with her.”

She was right. I needed to find her and tell her how I felt.

I pulled out my phone and swiped across the screen. She had to forgive me.

I called her number. She didn’t answer.

Before I could register what I was doing, my feet were tearing up the street and I was heading out of town, the rain blurring my vision as I rounded corner after corner. I loved Lola and I could no longer deny it.

I stopped outside her house and placed both hands on the gate, my head hanging low as I tried desperately to steady my breathing. My heart was racing out of my chest. I could hear the blood pumping in my ears. It had taken me almost thirty minutes to get here after taking a wrong turn. I hadn’t anticipated getting lost. I’d driven here so often but on foot, it was a whole other story.

I took a deep breath in and blew out.

Get a fucking grip, Tay, I told myself as I swung open the gate and began to pound on the front door.

The house was in total darkness, not a single light or sound coming from inside.

I knelt down, and lifting up the letterbox, I called inside. “Lola? Lola, it’s me. Let me in. Please,” I begged, but still nothing.

Where was she?

I knew she wasn’t with Brie. Other than her parents, Lola had no one else. A sick knot formed in my stomach as I wondered where the hell she could be. If I hadn’t waited so long, I could have followed her. If I hadn’t stayed and argued with Mel, if I’d just gone after her then…

“Taylor?” A voice came from behind me.

Thank God. I dropped my forehead to the door, still crouched down low. She was safe. She just hadn’t come home yet. She was okay.

When I eventually got to my knees and faced her, my breath caught in my throat. Relief washed over me, but anger quickly replaced it.

Her long, dark hair clung to her face, shielding one eye. Her eyes were red as if she’d been crying and her mascara had run down her cheek in black streaks.

Fuck. I was a piece of shit.

Lola didn’t move. She was frozen on the spot, looking through me as if I wasn’t even there. I had done this to her. I had to make this right.

“I thought something had happened to you. I was losing my fucking shit standing here, and when you didn’t answer…” I told her as I rushed to be near her. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for everything. God.” I took her in my arms and pulled her close. She was shivering. Fuck. How long had she been out in the rain?

I continued to hold her to me, her wet skin against my own as I soothed her.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She shook against my neck.

“I know, Firebox. I know.”

I held her in my arms for a few more moments, just breathing her in. Having her close to me like this, well, it felt like home. That was the only way I could describe it. The comfort and warmth that only home felt like. She was my home. I just hadn’t realised until now.

Cupping her cheeks, I gazed down at her. She still wouldn’t look at me and I couldn’t blame her. I had royally screwed her over and made her believe she meant nothing to me. All those things I had said to her… I couldn’t take them back. It was too late.

“Lola, look at me. Please, baby, look at me.”

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, they landed on me.

“You were never a game to me. Never. What I felt for you was real. It still is, Firebox. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel differently, but you have to know that I only did it for you, to protect you. My life is a fucking mess. I couldn’t bring you into that. You deserved better.”

“That was my choice to make. Not yours, Taylor.”

“I know that now,” I admitted.

“You think I’m weak, that I can’t hack a little hard work? You’re wrong.”

“I don’t think you’re weak.”

“Then why? Why did you treat me that way?”

“I thought I was doing the right thing by you. I was wrong. I know that now. But I’d just found out that my dad wasn’t really my dad and that my own mother lied to me my whole life. There’s a man out there who has the same DNA as me and I have no idea who he is. When my dad went to prison, I grieved for him. I hated him for what he did to my mum and me. I hated him so much that I wished him dead. I had everything, Lola—a home, two parents who loved me, football, and then one day it was gone. Everything was gone.”

“So did I, Taylor. I had everything, too, remember? If anyone knows what it feels like to lose it all, it’s me. You should’ve just told me. I would’ve helped you. We could’ve helped each other.”

Of course she knew.

“I was a selfish bastard. That’s all there is to it. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. You and me? We’re just right.”

“Wrong.” She grinned. “We are completely messed up, Taylor. There is nothing remotely right about us. From day one we were wrong.”

“Then we can be wrong together. If you’ll give me another shot.”

Lola began to chew on her lip, her teeth grazing back and forth over its plumpness. “I don’t know.”

“Well I do,” I said, making her mind up for her. I grabbed her by the arse and lifted her into my arms, ignoring the loud gasp that tore from her lips. There was no way I was letting her go again. Not now. Not ever.

Lola’s arms came up and clung around my neck as she gazed down at me in wonder. “Take me inside, Taylor.”

“Yes, ma’am.”