Why is it so bright in here?

My eyelids flutter open then squeeze shut.

That isn't the soft white light of a beach morning.

Which means it's not early.

Which means I'm already late.

Fuck.

I force myself to roll out of bed. My feet hit the ground. My hands go to my hips. My eyes stay closed.

My head throbs as I stumble to the bathroom.

I push the door closed. Click the lock. Flip the light off.

There. That's better.

That's a reasonable level of illumination.

My reflection stares back, ragged and tired. My hair is a limp tragedy. My makeup is smeared. My under-eye circles are dark.

I might as well have a sign on my head reading I drank too much last night. Please, Hunter give me a lecture. Then start poking my bruises. Ask all those questions I can't answer.

If he wants to know to tell Brendon, he can go fuck himself.

But if he really does care…

If I really can trust him…

God, I want that.

I want him.

I want to be able to sit on a bed next to him, climb into his lap, kiss him like the God damn ship is going down.

I go through my morning routine. Shower. Wrap a towel around my chest.

Step into the hallway prepared to pretend his stares annoy me.

But the house is quiet. Empty.

He's not here.

He doesn't work today, but he isn't here.

I guess it's possible his claims about having a life were true. It's possible he's somewhere besides the gym. That he's not making a point of avoiding me.

I find my cell. Pray it's not as late as it seems.

It is. It's a quarter to eleven and I'm due at Inked Hearts thirty minutes ago.

Thank God I'm the only one who checks the schedule.

I ignore my texts from Kay, dress in the first clean thing I find, grab the cup of coffee that's sitting on the counter, curse Hunter's considerateness, and run the five blocks to work.

All right, I don't run—I don't do running—but I hustle.

The shop is clean, bright, quiet. Ryan's tattoo gun buzzes.

Dean and Chloe are actually working. As in, he's concentrating on a piece and she's staring with awe, and their client is mumbling something about classic rock.

I fix a cup of medium roast in the Keurig, turn the music on, find ways to stay busy.

For an hour, I restock drinks, check schedules, scour social media for tattoo posts to like and share.

My headache fades to a dull throb.

My nausea subsides.

My stomach stays twisted.

It's Hunter.

I want to believe it's just Hunter.

I want to keep telling myself this story about how nothing has changed.

But I'm not really buying it anymore.

I switch the music to something that fits my mood, then I pull out my cell and face my best friend.

Kaylee: OMG Em. How could you not tell me about Hunter?

Emma: It's not a big deal.

Kaylee: Brendon showed me his Instagram.

Emma: And?

Kaylee: And? Like you didn't see that smoking hot pic of his new rib tattoo?

I may have seen it.

I may have stared.

I may have actually considered fucking myself to the incredibly hot picture of Hunter's torso.

Kaylee: Brendon says he's staying at the house.

Emma: He is.

Kaylee: Am I supposed to buy this blasé attitude?

Emma: Yes.

Kaylee: I'm not.

Emma: You're on vacation. Go have fun.

Kaylee: I'm worn out.

Emma: Gross.

Kaylee: From our day in New York. It's so much more amazing than I remember.

Emma: Slightly less gross.

Kaylee: I won't tell Brendon.

She's usually good about keeping my secrets. No, she's always good about keeping my secrets.

I press my lips together.

Look around the room for some kind of sign.

There's nothing. Just the hum of the tattoo gun and Chloe and Dean exchanging barbs. I swear, it looks like she's flirting with his client. But why would she be flirting with his client? She's not the flirty type. And she's super into him.

Like crazy in love with him.

Maybe it's some foreplay thing they do.

Leighton and Ryan are like that. He gets off on watching her thrust her tits into customer's faces.

It's weird. But kinda hot too.

Emma: What about when he's picking up your phone to look at your nudes?

Kaylee: OMG, Em!

Emma: You're right. You send those straight to him.

Kaylee: No comment.

Emma: OMG, you do not.

Kaylee: No comment.

Emma: Kaylee Hart!

Kaylee: Do you really want to know?

Emma: God no.

Kaylee: Would you even care if I had nudes?

Emma: I don't want to think about my brother's spank bank.

Kaylee: Well…

Emma: I will… What's the text equivalent of hang up?

Kaylee: You won't.

Emma: I miss you.

Kaylee: I miss you too. But I'm back soon.

Emma: Then you have school.

Kaylee: We've made busy work before.

Emma: True.

Kaylee: All summer, you were working nonstop.

Emma: Also true.

Kaylee: Was there a reason for that?

Emma: I told you. I'm saving.

Kaylee: Your parents had a million dollar life insurance policy.

Emma: And?

Kaylee: And Brendon never spent any of your half.

Emma: Do you two really talk about that?

Kaylee: When we talk about the future.

Emma: And marriage and babies?

Kaylee: Yeah. Of course.

Emma: Gross.

Kaylee: You asked.

Emma: Do you want to have a baby?

Kaylee: Not now. But one day, yeah. At first, I was scared of the idea of taking care of anyone but myself. But now… I don't know. I feel more like I'm capable. He'd be such a good dad.

He would, but, seriously, this is too much mushy stuff.

My cell flashes with an empty picture message. It's still loading.

Emma: If those are your boobs, I will burn this place down.

Kaylee: The house or Inked Hearts?

Emma: Inked Hearts.

Kaylee: Does their insurance cover arson?

Emma: Not by an employee.

Kaylee: The shop is safe. I promise.

It's a picture of her and Brendon at the Empire State Building. They're hugging. They're beaming.

She's joyful a lot of the time.

But he—

It's rare seeing him this happy.

They're madly in love.

Sometimes, it's hard to accept. I was so used to her being my best friend. I knew she had a crush on him. But I thought it was that he was hot. I didn't realize how deep it went.

Now…

I'm happy for them.

But I miss when I was Kaylee's favorite person in the world.

When she went to me before she went to Brendon.

It's hard, losing that.

Emma: Cute. Disgustingly cute. You're both disgusting.

Kaylee: Thank you.

Emma: You're welcome.

Kaylee: I do remember Hunter.

Emma: You do not.

Kaylee: I do too. He always smelled like booze.

He did.

Emma: He doesn't.

He smells good. Like salt and that earthy shampoo.

Emma: And he got all weird about me getting drunk last night.

Kaylee: Emma Kane!

Emma: It was a party. I was on a date.

Kaylee: With someone you trust?

Emma: I have two dads right now. I can't take a mom.

Kaylee: Seriously, Em. You know I worry.

I know. And, somehow, it's not obnoxious when she does it.

Kaylee: How'd he know you were drunk?

Emma: I asked him for a ride.

Kaylee: Was everything okay?

Emma: Seriously, Kay. I have a babysitter.

Kaylee: Say yes and I'll drop it.

Emma: I can lie.

Kaylee: Yeah, but you won't.

She's right.

I hate lying to her.

It's even worse than lying to myself.

Kaylee: Listen, Em.

Emma: Whatever that is, let's not.

Kaylee: No deal.

Emma: I'll beg.

Kaylee: That only works on Doms.

Emma: Ew.

Kaylee: And it doesn't actually work.

Emma: EVEN MORE EW.

Kaylee: If you don't talk, I'm going to keep discussing my sex life.

Emma: Talk about what?

Kaylee: How about the super-hot tattoo artist currently staying across the hall?

Emma: It's no big deal.

Kaylee: You do realize I've also lived across the hall from the object of my affection?

Emma: Hunter is a babysitter, not an object of affection.

Kaylee: I remember your crush.

Emma: It was a long time ago.

Kaylee: He's only gotten hotter.

Emma: Irrelevant.

Kaylee: Very relevant.

Emma: It's nothing.

Kaylee: Fess up.

Emma: Mostly, he's annoying. He's always around. And now he's talking about how we're friends and how I can trust him.

Kaylee: Can you?

Emma: I don't know. Maybe it's a double agent move.

Kaylee: Is he the type?

Emma: I don't think so. But I'm not sure.

I don't add I no longer trust my judgment in guys. Not after Vinnie. But it's there.

Kaylee: Do you like him?

Emma: I don't want to.

Kaylee: But you do?

Emma: He's annoying.

Kaylee: YOU DO!

Emma: Maybe.

Kaylee: So? What's the game plan?

Emma: He's way into this whole 'you're just a kid, I can't see you as a sexual being' thing.

Kaylee: I doubt it.

Emma: He's not going to go for it.

Kaylee: I thought the same thing.

Emma: But Brendon was so obviously into you.

Kaylee: Really? Because I remember you being surprised and pissed.

Okay, that might be true.

But in hindsight, it was super obvious.

Kaylee: Do you want to make it happen?

Emma: I don't know. I want to find him irritating, but I like when he's around. God, last night, I was so freaked, but the second I heard his voice it was okay. Even though he was totally judging me for drinking.

Kaylee: What happened last night?

Emma: I overreacted.

Kaylee: To?

Emma: I was on a date. He kissed me. I wasn't feeling it.

Kaylee: Oh.

The two letters speak volumes.

It's like with my new lack of judgment.

We both know it's there.

I never told Kaylee what happened with Vinnie. But she came home to me sobbing in the shower after my date.

She saw the way everything changed.

How I went from flirting with him, wearing cute stuff around the building, generally being my take charge self to…

Whatever this is.

Maybe she doesn't know for sure.

But she's got a pretty good idea.

Kaylee: Listen, Em. Whatever reason you have for moving out, it's okay. I'll tell Brendon there was a noise complaint. I'll drop it if that's what you need. But you should talk to someone. Even if it's a professional.

Emma: Am I that crazy?

Kaylee: You haven't gone on a date since.

I swallow hard.

Kaylee: Something is up. Whatever it is, I'll support you. But you can't keep pretending nothing happened.

Emma: It's just awkward with Vinnie.

Kaylee: It's never been awkward before.

Emma: This is different.

Kaylee: I know.

Emma: Can we not do this now?

Kaylee: No, Em. We have to do this.

Emma: Or?

Kaylee: Or nothing. I'm still coming home. We're going to find a place together. Then we're going to marathon Disney movies and stuff ourselves stupid with chocolate chip pancakes.

Emma: Good.

Kaylee: I'm prodding because I love you and I don't like seeing you hurting.

Emma: I'm not.

Kaylee: You are.

Emma: I miss when we were talking about Hunter.

Kaylee: Promise you'll get help and I'll drop it.

Emma: Can you just drop it?

Kaylee: Not until you promise.

Emma: Okay. I will.

Eventually.

She's quiet for a minute.

Deciding if she believes me.

Or thinking about telling Brendon.

Or planning an intervention.

Something.

My shoulders relax as my phone buzzes with her reply.

This is okay. Normal. Good.

Kaylee: He is really hot.

Emma: Stupid hot.

Kaylee: What's he like?

I can talk about this. I can talk with her. Maybe I can't talk about that yet, but I can talk about this.

Emma: He's bossy.

Kaylee: Hot.

Emma: Not like that.

Kaylee: I bet like that.

Emma: What if I'm not into it?

Kaylee: Have you tried it?

Emma: Not really.

Kaylee: You should.

Emma: This is getting gross again.

Kaylee: What do you think Hunter is into?

Emma: I don't know. He's all broody and serious. But he's funny too.

Kaylee: Lots of pent-up feelings.

Emma: Exactly.

Kaylee: I bet he's intense.

Emma: I think so. I saw him naked.

Kaylee: Really?

Emma: Yeah. When I dropped by. He was getting out of the shower.

Kaylee: And?

Emma: And?

Kaylee: You know what I'm asking.

Emma: He does have a lot of ink, yes.

Kaylee: And?

Emma: Whatever could you mean?

Kaylee: His cock?

God, it's weird, seeing her use the word cock. But it's not like I'm suffering any illusions about how much my brother has corrupted her.

Emma: I saw that.

Kaylee: And?

Emma: Huge.

Kaylee: Was he hard?

Emma: Getting there.

Kaylee: You gonna get him there?

Emma: I'm working on it.