After too many cupcakes and lots of TV, Emma and I climb into her bed.

I wrap my arms around her.

Hold her all fucking night.

Fall asleep next to her.

It's nearly perfect.

Even if I wake up with fear in my gut.

I want to believe I'm a worthwhile guy.

That I deserve her.

That there isn't any legitimate reason for Brendon—or anyone else—to object to this relationship.

But I'm not there yet.

And this is it.

The day her family returns.

The day our world dissolves.

I don't want it to change anything—this is paradise—but it might.

That's how life works.

It's hard, tearing myself away from her.

I want to lie here all day.

I want to die in her fucking bed.

But that's an actual possibility.

If Brendon walks in on us like this—

That can't happen.

I brush my teeth, dress, fix coffee for both of us.

The gym is more quiet than usual.

Or maybe my thoughts are louder.

My head is tuned to Emma. To the way she blushes when I tease her, the way her eyes light up when she tastes a perfect cupcake, the way she groans when she comes.

There's a lot I love about Emma.

But now that I've seen her come—

Fuck, it's impossible to think about anything else.

She owns my thoughts through my entire workout. On my walk home. As I enter the Kane place.

The house is buzzing with laughter and conversation.

She and Kaylee are sitting on the couch, sharing a cupcake, oversized mugs of coffee in front of them.

Thank fuck Brendon isn't here.

I'm not sure I can handle his stare.

I want to scream this from the mountaintops.

I want the entire world to know how much I adore her.

Her cheeks flush as her eyes meet mine.

It makes my heart warm.

Fills me someplace that's usually empty.

Her joy is mine.

And, God, seeing her with her best friend, downing coffee and chocolate, tapping her fingers along with her favorite emo album—

It's so fucking Em.

It's everything.

"Hey." Her eyes find mine.

"Hey." It's all I can say. I'm not articulate. I'm too fixed on her.

She turns to her best friend. "You've met Hunter before, right Kay?"

Kaylee looks the same as always. Long champagne-blond hair, green eyes, and powder blue glasses.

She's wearing a dress straight out of a Mad Men episode, this grey and purple thing with a Peter Pan collar.

Fuck, how do I know what a Peter Pan collar is?

"Yeah." Kaylee stands. Smooths her dress. Glides across the room.

I almost expect her to curtsy.

She radiates regal energy.

"Nice to see you again, Kaylee." I shake her hand.

She shakes with a firm grip. "You too." She turns back to Emma. "Emma talks about you a lot."

"Brendon talks about you a lot," I say.

She blushes. "Anything bad?"

"Dirty, maybe. But not bad," I say.

Emma holds out her hand stop. "Don't with that. I've had enough of it… uh, for the last year."

"He brought it up." Kaylee shrugs.

Emma shakes her head I know better.

Kaylee laughs and returns to the couch.

They trade whispers.

It's sweet.

Cute.

Right.

I'm glad Emma has all this love in her life.

She deserves it.

She deserves the fucking world.

I don't know Kaylee all that well, but I can tell she's good to Emma.

That's what matters.

"Em was just telling me about the apartment you found." Kaylee crosses her legs and smooths her dress.

They exchange a look that gets both of them giggling.

"It's really nice," Emma says. "There's another open house today. We should go. Sign the papers."

"You need me to play your boyfriend again?" I ask.

Emma and Kaylee exchange another look.

"Long story," Emma says.

Kaylee shakes her head knowingly.

Fuck, they're cute.

So teenage girl.

'Cause they are teenage girls.

Emma is nineteen. A kid just starting her life.

And she…

Fuck, I'm not doing this right now.

She wants me.

I care about her.

I'd do anything for her.

Even convince myself this relationship makes sense every day, forever. As long as I have logic on my side, it's happening.

One day, I'll be there. Believe I'm a guy with value. Believe I'm good enough for her.

Not yet.

But one day.

Upstairs, a door swings open. Steady footsteps move into the hallway.

Brendon steps onto the stairs, his hair wet, his black t-shirt sticking to his skin.

He shoots his girlfriend a panty-melting look.

Emma makes a show of feigning gagging.

Kaylee's expression gets apologetic. "Sorry. I forget."

"Uh huh." Emma makes air quotes. "Forget."

"He's just so…" Kaylee's cheeks flush as she gawks at her boyfriend.

"Please stop." Emma hides behind her hands. "Didn't you two spend your trip having sex?"

"We were staying with my parents!" Kaylee says.

"So now I'm going to have to spend the next few weeks listening to you have sex?" Emma scrunches her nose in distaste.

"Imagine if you had your own place." Brendon raises a brow.

"Yeah. Imagine if I had a brother who respected boundaries," Emma says.

"Well, actually," Kaylee starts.

"Please don't," Emma stops her.

Brendon descends the stairs and greets me with a hug. "You survive my sister?"

"Barely," Emma says from the couch. "I think I drove him crazy."

"But you made lasagna. So I forgive you," I say.

Her smile gets goofy.

Kaylee whispers something in her ear.

Emma nods.

"She doing okay?" he asks.

"I'm right here." Emma folds her arms over her chest. Makes a show of pouting.

He turns to her. "You doing okay, Em?"

"Thank you for asking, Brendon. I'm a little overworked and under caffeinated, but I'm good." She smiles.

He and Kaylee share a look.

"You sound like a cyborg," Kaylee says.

"But I meant the thing about caffeine." She stands and offers her friend her hand. "The place on Abbot Kinney?"

"Mmm." Kaylee takes her hand. Lets Emma help her up. "Genius. Then the apartment?"

Emma nods.

Kaylee waves goodbye to her boyfriend.

He takes her hand, pulls her into a hug.

Then she's rising to her tiptoes and he's leaning in and they're kissing like they'll never get enough.

Emma shoots me a can you believe this shit? look.

Brendon releases Kaylee.

Emma grabs her. "Leaving now." She takes a step toward the door. "Love you."

It's meant for her brother, but fuck, it still feels good hearing those words on her lips.

"Love you too." He nods a goodbye then turns back to me. The softness in his expression fades to an intense concern.

"Is Emma okay?" he asks.

My pulse races.

It's one thing convincing myself I deserve Emma when it's the two of us.

When she's staring at me like I'm the sun in her sky—

When she's unfurling for me—

Then, I can see all the evidence.

It makes sense.

With Brendon staring at me like I'm supposed to be her knowing babysitter—

Fuck, I don't know what to say.

I don't even know what to think.

"She's a good kid." That's true. Sure, there's something wrong. Something she won't tell me. But it's not like I can say she's cagey about sex sometimes. I think something happened. There was this asshole at her old apartment. I have a bad feeling about him.

Even if I could share that without the part about her sucking me off—

It's not mine to tell.

"She give you a hard time?"

"A little," I say. "But it was good. Nice to hang with a normal person."

He nods with understanding. "And you?" Are you staying sober?

"Yeah." It's been hard. But less so the more time I spend with her. It's not that she's my new drug. More that she makes it easier to see why I need to stay sober. She makes me see all the good in the world. "It's hard sometimes, but yeah." I run my fingers through my hair. Fuck, I need a shower. And a confession box.

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Yeah. Emma figured it out."

"Oh." Surprise drips into his voice. "Did I make it obvious?"

"No. It just came up."

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

His brow relaxes. "Good." He pats me on the shoulder. "Thanks for taking care of her."

"Sure."

"Really. I know she's a brat, but she's all the family I've got."

I nod.

"You're a good guy, Hunter."

He might as well say you betrayed me, you piece of shit.

But I smile back anyway.