My heart thuds so loudly, I hear it between my ears.

It's the only thing I can hear.

It overpowers the air-conditioning, the oven, the exhale falling from Hunter's lips.

For a second, he stares back at me.

His lips part.

His pupils dilate.

His hands go to my hips.

"Fuck, Em—" He kisses me hard.

I close my eyes.

Part my lips to make room for his tongue.

This is what I want.

Him claiming me.

Him out of his fucking mind.

I slide my hand into his hair to hold him close.

My hips rock against his.

His hands slip under my tank top. Up my stomach. Over my chest.

He toys with my nipples as he swirls his tongue around mine.

It's aggressive.

Impatient.

It's perfect.

But it's so much.

Too much.

I pull back with a sigh.

Stare up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

I really do trust him.

And if I trust him…

I should be able to do this.

I think I can do this.

Maybe.

I bring my hand to his wrist. Walk backward to lead him to the couch.

My calves hit the leather cushions.

His hands curl around my ass.

In one swift motion, he lifts me and sets me on the couch.

I push myself onto my knees. Press my palm against his chest. Drag the other over his torso.

Fuck, he feels good.

Wet.

Warm.

Hard.

I savor the feel of his soft skin against my fingertips.

Then I bring my hand lower.

To the rough waistband of his boxers.

Slowly, I push the garment off his hips.

My eyes go wide.

He really is huge.

It's more obvious this close.

And, God, he really is close.

I want to wrap my hand around him.

And run a million miles away.

This is everything I want.

And everything that terrifies me.

I swallow hard. Look up at him as I brush my palm against his tip.

His eyelids press together.

A sigh falls off his lips.

"Fuck."

God, that feels good.

This is Hunter.

My…

He's really my boyfriend.

This is really…

Deep breath.

Slow exhale.

I'm in control here.

As long as I'm in control, I can do this.

I press my lips to his chest.

He groans as I pump him. "Em."

My name rolls off his lips like poetry.

It makes my sex clench.

Makes my nipples ache.

God, I already want to come again.

But I want this more.

I want this so fucking badly.

I run my thumb over his tip.

Revel in the groan that falls off his lips.

I try a little to the left, the right, the top, the bottom.

Harder.

Faster.

Slower.

Softer.

I study him like he's a work of art.

He is.

And this…

Fuck, it feels so good watching pleasure spread over his expression.

Deep breath.

Steady exhale.

I can do this.

I really, really want to do this.

Slowly, I shift off the couch.

Onto my knees.

He looks down at me with reverence.

Hunter shudders as my lips brush his stomach.

I drag them lower.

Lower.

There.

My lips brush his tip.

He tastes good. Like soap and like Hunter.

I stare up at him as I take him into my mouth.

Fuck, it's been a long time since I've done this.

I'm rusty.

Awkward.

But technique isn't what I need.

I need to study his reactions.

To figure him out.

And figure me out too.

I take my time tasting every inch of him.

Then testing different speeds.

Different strokes.

Swirls of my tongue.

The top of his tip.

The bottom.

"Fuck, Em."

God, the way he says my name is perfect.

That's what I need.

Us connecting.

Nothing in the way.

I wrap my hand around his cock.

Then I bring my mouth to his tip.

Toy with him until his groan is bouncing around the room.

Then I take him deeper.

Deeper.

As deep as I can manage.

He's big. Even with my hand, I can't cover him completely.

So I use my hand like an extension of my mouth.

Stroke him as I drag my mouth over him again and again.

One of his hands curls into my hair. It settles onto the back of my head.

Guiding.

I swallow to relax my throat.

He groans as I take him deeper.

Move faster.

Then he's tugging at my hair.

Pushing the back of my head.

Not guiding.

Pushing.

I…

I can't.

I pull back.

Force my lips together.

Force my voice to steady. "Softer."

He nods with hazy eyes.

But there's something in his gaze.

The magic disappears.

He's not lost in this. In me.

He's aware something is wrong.

That I'm…

Fuck.

I swallow hard.

I am doing this.

We're doing this.

"I don't like it rough." It's a reasonable enough explanation. And it's true. I was never into that. Even before… ahem.

I close my eyes.

Bring all my attention to this.

To Hunter's heavy breath.

And his soft touch.

His fingers curl into my shoulder.

It's gentle. Impossibly gentle.

He's reassuring me.

I hate that he has to.

But right now…

I need to do this.

I open my eyes.

Stare up at him.

I brush my lips against his tip.

Then I take him into my mouth. Wrap my hand around him.

He watches me carefully for a moment.

Then he relaxes. Lets go of the doubt creeping into his head.

His eyes close.

His lips part.

His fingers curl into my skin.

I take him as deep as I can.

Then I pull back and do it again.

He loses himself in me.

It's fucking beautiful.

It's fucking everything.

His groans fill the room as I work him.

They get louder. Lower. Deeper.

Then they run together.

And his fingers dig into my skin.

It's hard.

But not in an I'm pushing you way.

More in I can't control my hands because you're driving me out of my mind way.

"Fuck, Em."

His cock pulses.

I wait until he spills every drop, then I swallow hard.

He blinks his eyes open and stares down at me with that same hazy expression.

Like I'm some angel sent to save him.

I'm not.

I can barely save myself.

But it still feels good believing it.

Believing that there aren't any ugly complications on the horizon.