CHAPTER 18
One week later, present day . . .
JOE
The seed of doubt Doug planted had grown. All week long I’d festered over every moment, every conversation with Lana, in my head, debating with myself, trying to figure her out. Trying to decide if Doug was full of shit, or if he made a good point.
Had Lana hired me, not because she thought I’d be right for my new position, but because she wanted me naked and in her bed?
I’d already been used by one woman; I wouldn’t be used by a second. And little did Doug know, he really struck a nerve by suggesting that this might even be a possibility.
I walked into the Friday meeting, not caring what Doug heard through the microphone, but searching for answers of my own.
That was why I’d hit her with the ‘fucking run with it’ comment. Because if she didn’t have faith in me as an employee, there was no chance she’d let me ‘fucking run with it,’ and put her company in jeopardy. She’d micromanage the crap out of me. But, as it happened, she gave me the green light. She said I could take over my job as long as I ran all important decisions by her. Seemed appropriate and fair enough, something any boss would say. The real question was, would she follow through? Would she trust me to do the job she hired me to do?
Our conversation ended, and Lana sat back in her seat. But as she did, her hand briefly touched the stack of Post-it notes she had sitting on the table. Clearly, she’d left them there on purpose. Her eyes met mine with a silent plea.
I was hurting her. I saw it. And she needed a note from me to confirm that we were okay. But we weren’t okay.
I shook my head no.
The meeting ended.
Needing a moment to regroup, I left Lana and went straight to the bathroom. I really did have a meeting with Kirk in advertising next, so I didn’t linger. And as I exited the bathroom, I saw Lana step into the elevators.
She didn’t see me.
But she looked as if she were on the brink of tears, as if she couldn’t escape the building fast enough. Something in me broke. The urge to chase after her and wrap her in a hug hit me hard, nearly knocking me to my knees. I’d been such an asshole to her just now. And what if, just maybe, everything that I felt for her, she felt too. This thing between us, what if it was real? What if it was pure? What if I just ruined it because I let doubt get in my head?
I realized now that I’d meant what I said all along. I had her back. Doug meant absolutely nothing to me. Lana meant something. Even if she was using me only for sex, I found she still meant something—not sure what that said about me, though. Nevertheless, with this new kick in the ass, I walked into my meeting with Kirk from advertising. It was time to weed out who in this office was Doug’s other spy.
***
Nancy. I decided it was Nancy. Most of the other people, after researching them one-by-one, painstakingly, had been with Lana for more than a couple of years.
Nancy, however, has only been with Lana for one year.
She also was from New York. Her Facebook page said otherwise, but she had a hint of an accent. Since I spent a majority of my middle school to high school years growing up in New York, I knew it even if she was trying to hide it.
Was she trying to hide it?
Was she his other spy?
My cell phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Monday morning and I was back on site with Abe. I picked up, thinking it was Nancy calling, ready to try to feel her out, but for the first time, Lana was calling me directly.
“Hi Joe, it’s Lana. I’m calling to check in. How’s advertising for the new positions going?” It sounded like she was outside as she spoke, since I heard the sound of cars and people in the background. It was noon. Maybe she was on her lunch break.
“Fine,” I answered. “I spoke with Kirk on Friday, like I said I planned to. He posted the job positions online. I think everything is in motion that needs to be in motion.”
“Good. Let me make this clear—it’s not that I don’t trust you to make good decisions and handle this process on your own, because I do. But I’ve overseen the opening of ten other stores. You’ve opened zero. I have experience with these things. For example, you need to hire the store manager first. He or she will become your second-hand man in this process. Ideally, I’d like you to promote one of our assistant store managers from another location for this position. Conduct interviews in-house first.”
“Lana,” I said softly.
“Joe.”
“Lana,” I tried again.
“No.” She wasn’t letting up. “I don’t know why we’re struggling with this. I’m all about you ‘fucking running with this’ as you said. Believe me, this is why I hired you. But I want to teach you to fly first before throwing you into the wind. Does that make sense?”
“And I need you to have faith me.”
“I do! The drive-thru location, that was your idea. I’m trusting you with it. I’m going to trust you with every other step in the process, too. I know you’re capable of doing all of this mostly on your own. But please, remember that I’m a valuable resource you can utilize. We don’t need to communicate through Nancy. You don’t need to go to Kirk asking questions that I can answer directly.”
I guess Kirk had relayed our conversation back to her. But she made a good point—I was avoiding her. I was asking other people questions that she could have helped me with instead.
I untucked my shirt, flipping off the sound on my microphone box. Doug could go fuck himself. “I guess what I need to know . . . is that you didn’t hire me because you wanted to sleep with me.” I knew I was being blunt, but I had to just come out and say it.
What was it about this woman? I couldn’t not be honest with her.
“What?” she breathed into the phone.
“I think that you’ve probably started to notice that I have deep issues with sex. Basically, I need to know that you hired me for me, and not for my dick.”
God, I felt like such a fool saying all this.
“Joe—” she said softly. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been attracted to you from the moment I met you. Hell, maybe even before that, when I only knew you on paper. But my business means the world to me. I wasn’t going to make a stupid decision based on some silly attraction. I meant what I said—I had a gut feeling about you and I went with it. I’m sorry, beyond that, when I let things go too far between us.”
“No.” I left the construction site and started walking quickly toward my car. “Don’t be sorry about that. I’m not. I just needed to know there was more than attraction that motivated you to hire me. And I do now. Here’s what you need to do, Lana—are you outside?”
“Yes . . ..”
“Good. Don’t go back to your office. Go get in your car and start driving toward me.”
“It’s a three-hour drive, Joe.” Her voice changed. It was a good change. One that let me know I could still physically affect her, even over the phone.
“I know how far it is. I’m getting in my car now, too.” I yanked open my door as I spoke. “I’m heading in your direction. We’ll meet in the middle. Call Nancy—make something up. Say you forgot you had a hair appointment or whatever.”
“Now you’re freaking me out just a little.”
“Don’t be freaked out. You’re safe with me. I just need you to get to me first.”
“Okay. Fine. I’ll come to you.”
“Hey,” I said before she hung up. “Sorry I wasn’t myself on Friday. I’ll make up for that, I promise. See you soon.”
I ended the call and tossed my phone into the cup holder. Then I clicked my microphone back on. “Please, I really do want this job. From now on I will run everything by you, I promise. If that’s what it takes to keep my job, I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever.” At this point I was making shit up, talking to no one but my empty car, hoping like hell Doug wouldn’t think too much of the two-minute break in the middle of the audio. If he questioned it, I’d blame it on sweat. I’d noticed if I got too sweaty, with the microphone right on my chest, it tended to have issues.
“Thanks, Lana,” I still spoke. “Whatever you need from me you can have from me.”
I was probably perpetuating the whole sexual harassment idea in Doug’s mind.
Whatever. I stopped talking and starting driving. Trying to figure out what the hell I’d do with my microphone when I reached Lana in an hour and a half.
Show her—I’d show her the microphone.
That was what I planned to do.