Now that I’m alone, my heart slams against my chest, only pumping more anxiety through me. I can’t believe I did that! I sit on the edge of the bed to calm myself down.

The stress of the day and the amount of alcohol I’d drunk is wearing on me. I decide to finally undress and crawl into bed, glitter and all. I’ll deal with the consequences tomorrow. I stand and kick my jeans off, I’m about to pull my shirt over my head when the door opens and slams shut.

I turn my head in the direction of the noise. River walks in wearing a wide smile. He’s rushing towards me with his arms held out at his side like he’s going to hug me. This is not the response I wanted. I wanted him as jealous and as mad as I was.

When he’s in arm’s length, I reach out and smack him across the face.

He’s stunned as he rubs his bruised jaw. “What the hell was that for?”

“What the hell were you doing at that bar with those women?”

He thinks it over before he smirks. “I wasn’t with those women. They are the girlfriends of a couple of the dancers. They don’t like leaving them sitting alone because they get hit on all night. Trust me, you are more their type than I am.”

My face wrinkles with disgust. “Don’t lie. I saw how they were looking at you.”

He moves closer, but I step away, not wanting to be confused by his touch because I know my body will give into him.

He holds his hands up in front of him, palms facing me. “I swear, it was nothing.”

“So you weren’t trying to make me jealous?”

His hands fall at his sides. “No, I was just trying to get out of here to give you space. I know you won’t say anything, but I can tell you’re freaking out.”

I let out a long breath of anxiety. “I’m sorry. I feel bad for treating you the way I did. I’m just so confused by everything, and we’re moving fast. Like really fast.” I fall to the edge of the bed, resting my elbows against my knees while drooping my head forward.

He sits beside be but doesn’t touch me, which I’m thankful for.

“Look. I’m sorry. I was mad, but not because of what you said. I was mad because I thought things were changing with us. I thought you were finally letting me beneath all your layers, finally letting me in.”

“I am and that scares the shit out of me. I didn’t even mean to let my guard down this much, you just wormed your way in and that scares me.”

His eyes squint. “Why does that scare you, beautiful?” He pushes my hair away from my face, his fingertips skimming lightly across my cheek.

“I’m fucking broken. Don’t you know that? If I let you in and you hurt me, I may not recover from that. I barely have a heart left after Katie, I can’t lose any more of it.” Tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I’ve been holding in too much lately. It’s all been building and building and now, it’s finally exploding.

“Shhh.” He pulls me closer, cradling my head to his chest. “I’m not going to hurt you. I want to be with you. From the first time my eyes landed on yours, filled with pain and sadness, I wanted you. I wanted to be the one to make all that disappear. I know what broken looks like, and it’s not you.”

I look up into his blue eyes and see the pain hiding beneath them. He wipes my tears away with his thumbs before moving in slowly for a kiss.

His hot mouth touches mine, and the floodgates open. A rush of emotion washes over me: excitement, fear, desire, maybe even love if I would let myself admit it. But I won’t. Not yet. I can’t.

He’s kissing me softly but deeply. A kiss that sinks into me, reaching even the darkest, most broken parts of me. He’s being so gentle, like he’s afraid I will break. And I just might. Is this worth all the pain and suffering I’d have to go through? The touch of his skin, the feel of his kiss, the emotions he can stir inside of me, is it worth it?

He lies me back, covering my body with his, but he doesn’t put his weight on me. He holds himself up so his hands can softly roam my body, sending shocks through me. His touch almost burns me, it’s so strong and intense.

He breaks our kiss to pull my shirt from my body as he gets up on his knees, hovering over me.

“Do you even know how fucking sexy you were on that stage tonight?” He removes his shirt, tossing it onto the floor. “I wanted you so fucking bad.” His fingers snake beneath my panties as he pulls them from my body. “I would have taken you right there on that stage with everyone watching if you’d let me.” He pushes his pants down over his large erection and my stomach muscles tighten, needing him inside me, needing him to make me forget everything but the way I feel about him. “You had me so fucking worked up. I wanted to beat anyone who even looked at you.” He slams into me, making me call out loudly. The bed moves with his powerful thrust, it hits the wall with a loud bang.

His hands are holding my hips, holding me still as I try to wiggle against him. I need him to move. Already my release is begging to be let free.

He pulls out slowly and pauses. “You’re mine. And I’m yours. Say it.”

“I’m yours,” I practically moan, fisting my own hair, slightly pulling.

He pushes back into me, our skin slaps together as the headboard hits the wall again. “And?” he growls.

“You’re mine!” I scream.

Finally, he pulls out suddenly and slams into me just as quick. But this time, he doesn’t pause or slow. This time, he’s lost control and he pumps into me hard and fast, unable to stop.

Before I know what is happening, he’s rolling us over so I’m on top. “I want to watch you ride me.” There is this rawness about him that makes my stomach clench while my arousal drenches him.

I begin moving up and down his length while watching him. I want to see what I do to him.

“You had me so fucking hard when you were up there with that fuck me look in your eyes. All I could think about was sinking myself deep inside that soaking wet pussy of yours.”

His words do more to me than anything else. Knowing that I teased him and had him so worked up makes my body hum, craving every inch of him. Just from thinking about how turned on I had him causes my orgasm to build inside of me. I call out while he thrusts up from beneath me. His hands squeeze my thighs as I grind against him, bringing me to the tip-top of my release before it shatters and rains down on me.

As I’m riding out every last wave, he quickly rolls me over and pumps into me until he’s shattering right along with me.

He rolls to his back and pulls me against his chest. My hair clings to my sticky skin and I push it away before listening to the deep drum of his erratic heart.

“I am sorry for what I said earlier.”

I feel his head move, trying to see me in the darkened room. “I’m sorry for making you jealous. I didn’t mean to, but when I saw how cute you look when you’re angry, I saw how it drove you to act the way you really wanted, without being held back, I couldn’t help myself. You were free tonight. I saw all your insecurities fall away while you were up there throwing everything on the table.”

I smile and roll to my stomach to see his face. “I think you owe me something now.”

I can see the shadow his smile creates on his face. “What do you want to know?”

I think it over quickly. “Earlier when you told me about your friend. You seemed so full of regret. Like maybe if you had stayed there with him, he would still be here.”

He doesn’t reply, but I can feel his eyes on me. “The day you saw me at Katie’s parents’ house, did you see the same thing in me that you saw in him? Is that why we’re together, because you were afraid to turn your back on me in fear I may hurt myself?”

He rolls us over and brushes my hair away from my eyes. “God no. I could have seen you on the street and had the same overwhelming feeling of need for you. I didn’t want to save you. I just fucking wanted you. My soul wanted you. It’s like you’re my other half that I didn’t realize I was missing until I saw you.”

I nod as my eyes fill with tears. I know what he’s talking about because it’s the exact same way I feel about him. I don’t know what this connection is, soulmates or two broken people finding some relief in each other, but whatever it is, it’s strong and it doesn’t waver. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it or run from it, it’s still there, growing stronger with each passing moment we share together.

* * *

We wake in the morning in a tangled mess. My left leg is thrown over his right leg. My right arm is under his pillow while his right arm is drooped over my side, holding me close.

He hasn’t woke yet, so I hold real still and just allow myself a few minutes of admiration. If I look at him this way when he’s awake, his head will swell and it’s already big enough.

His beautiful blue eyes are closed and covered by long eyelashes any girl would kill for. His soft lips are slightly apart, blowing his warm breath across my face. This man is absolutely gorgeous, everything from his six pack abs, to his hard and toned biceps, to his jaw bones that go on for days. He looks like a Greek God, but with a dirtier, rougher edge to him.

His eyes flutter open and he offers a sleepy smile. “Why are you watching me sleep?”

“Because I’m awake and didn’t want to wake you.”

He untangles himself from me. “How are you even up? Aren’t you hungover? I saw the way you sucked that fish bowl down last night.”

Now that he mentions it I do feel like shit. My stomach churns and a dull ache ringing through my head makes itself known.

“Yeah, I’m never drinking again.” I remember the last time I thought that exact same thing and it sends a jolt straight to my heart.

He sits up, grabbing something off the night stand before turning back to me. “A little hair of the dog?” He tosses me the flask.

I want to puke on him for even suggesting that. “Fuck no!” I toss it back as he chuckles and stands from the bed, completely naked. His toned back and firm ass tease me. I feel the pool gathering between my legs.

As he rounds the corner of the bed, his eyes fall on me and my heavy breathing. “See something you like, sweetheart?”

“I see a lot of things I like.”

He motions towards the bathroom with his head. “Why don’t you come join me and let me clean that dirty mind of yours?”

“I like it dirty.”

He grins. “Oh, it won’t stay clean long because I plan on dirtying it right back up as I fuck you from behind in that shower.”

My heart leaps to my throat as I quickly stand and rush to the bathroom for all the dirty things promised.

* * *

We spent entirely way too much time in the room, but it wasn’t a waste. I enjoyed every, last, dirty minute of it. By the time we get back on the road, it’s nearing two P.M, River insists on driving, saying my driving makes him nauseous. I don’t argue because I have more fun watching him than the road.

We just get into Louisiana when I pull out my list and cross off the last thing I accomplished.

“If Katie were here, she probably wouldn’t believe that I have done all this stuff.”

River looks at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road. “If she was still here, would you be doing that list?”

“Probably not. I had decided right after she wrote down ‘kiss a stranger,’ that this list wouldn’t get done.”

“I’m glad you decided to go through with that one. The striptease though…”

I take a sudden breath as I turn to look at him. “What? I thought you liked it?”

He nods once. “I did like it. But there was nothing on there that said it had to be public. I bet I would’ve liked it just as much, if not better, if it was just the two of us.”

“Well, someone once told me that if I was going to do this list, I needed to do it right,” I taunt him with his own words.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not always right, you know.”

“Whoa, slow down a minute! Can I get a video of you admitting that?”

He laughs out loud before pulling me over to him for a quick kiss. “Not on your life.”

Our conversation flows easy as we speed down the highway with nothing to hold us back. All the stress from the day before is long gone and forgotten about. I’m not trying to hold myself back anymore. When I took this challenge, it was to free myself and everything that came along with it. River and the things I feel for him are one of those things. I may end up with a broken heart, but I know now that it is most definitely worth it.

* * *

We take our time getting to Florida. The journey is half the fun. We stay up making love as long as we can, and then we sleep late, not getting up until we have had at least an hour of cuddling, kissing, and touching.

I managed to find us a small, one bedroom apartment to rent for the summer, and it’s on its own private beach. I had to do some convincing with the building manager, but I managed to get us in, and I even have a plan to get River back for the walk of shame I had to do at the tent.

We pull into the parking lot around two P.M. I step out and look up. The apartments almost look like a row of houses. They are all connected, but each is set up as its own place, having its own front door, back door, and roof. I retrieve the key and pay the bill for the summer, before showing River in.

The hardwood floors shine beneath our feet as we walk through. The living room is decent, home to only a small, blue couch, a little TV, and a couple of end tables with matching lamps. I move further, reaching the kitchen and breakfast nook. There is a sliding glass door that leads directly to the beach. Time to put my plan into action.

I spin around to face River. “Are you excited?”

He smiles as he closes the distance between us. His lips quickly smack against mine. “Let’s celebrate.” He starts pulling me in the direction that leads to the bathroom and bedroom.

I hold up my finger. “Okay, but first, there is one thing I didn’t tell you about this place because I wanted to surprise you.”

“What is it?” His blue eyes are gleaming.

“The beach we’re on…”

“Mm-hmm,” he says against the soft skin of my neck.

“It’s a private nude beach.”

He pulls away suddenly. “Are you serious?”

I laugh and nod. “Want to go for a naked swim?”

“Hell yeah!” He pulls his shirt above his head. His shoes, socks, jeans, and boxers follow quickly after.

I pull my shirt off and toss it on top of his clothes. “Oh, go ahead. I’m going to grab us some towels and I’ll catch up to you.”

“Alright.” He presses one last kiss to my lips before unlocking the door and sliding it open.

A wide smile covers my face as I turn around and cross my arms over my chest, waiting.

“Five.”

“Four.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“On— ”

River rushes back into the room. He closes the door quickly behind him and pulls the curtain closed. He spins around and presses his back to the glass like he can’t even stand anymore.

“What’s the matter?” I smile.

His eyes are wide and his face is slightly pale, almost green. “You…you did that on purpose.”

“Did what?” I move towards him and try pushing him out of the way to look out. I know what I’ll see. “I promise it is a nude beach, was everyone else wearing suits?” I feign innocence.

He turns around to stop me from opening the curtain. “No. This is a retirement home, isn’t it?”

I bust out laughing. “It’s assisted living!”

His hands fly to his hair, making it stand in all directions. “It was horrible. I’ve never seen so many saggy, wrinkly breasts in my whole life.”

I fall into the floor, holding my stomach from laughing so hard.

“Balls swinging between two little, boney knees.” His voice is filled with disgust and fear, and it only makes me laugh harder.

My eyes are leaking tears faster than I can wipe them away, and my lungs burn for oxygen.

“It’s not funny. One old man dropped his sunglasses. He bent down and I saw things…” his words are cut off by a loud gagging sound.

“Stop! Please stop!” I say around a fit of laughter. “I can’t—I can’t take anymore.” I’m shaking my head, unable to move from the floor.

Suddenly, River looks pissed, but even that doesn’t stop the tickle in my stomach from getting him back.

“Why’d you do that? You had to know this is a nursing home and not regular apartments. How’d you even get us in here?”

I hold out my hand for him to help me up as my laughing dies down. “I didn’t get this place to burn you, but I had to take the opportunity. I know how you hate missing out on once in a lifetime chances.” Another bout of laughter escapes me.

“Jovi?”

Oh my God! I have to stop laughing. Think of something sad.

Katie.

My laughing slows, allowing me to wipe the tears away from my eyes, and I take a deep breath.

I look at River standing in front of me with his hands on his naked hips, eyes trained on me.

“They had a vacancy. After I promised we wouldn’t have any parties, that they didn’t have to feed us with the rest of the occupants, and I would pay for all three months up front, they wavered. I didn’t know about the private nude beach until after the place was reserved.”

“What did I do to you to make you hate me this much?” His face is now showing a bit of amusement, but his skin color is still slightly off.

“The wet and wild walk of shame!”

His head falls back, looking at the ceiling, as a grin takes over his face. “I didn’t do that on purpose,” he proclaims.

“Yeah, well now we’re even.” I poke his chest as I move in to hug him. He starts pulling off my bra and unbuttoning my pants.

“What are you doing?” I ask around my smile.

“I need to see you naked now. That…” he uses his hand to motion toward the beach. “…cannot be the last thing these eyes have seen. I’ll have nightmares.”

I laugh but allow him to pull off my clothes. We’re both totally naked, holding onto one another in the breakfast room when he leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips. When he pulls away, his smile is back in place. “That was a good burn. But I’m afraid you’ve started something here.”

I step away. “Oh no! I wasn’t trying to start something, I was trying to end it.”

“I didn’t do that on purpose!” He points at me as I begin to pull away.

“Whatever.” I reach around his neck and direct his lips back to mine.

He breaks the kiss for just a second. “It’s on!”

* * *

After we take our time enjoying what will be our little home for the next three months, we decide to go check out our surroundings. The place we’re in has its own spa, casino, and restaurant, along with different community rooms where dances and games are held.

I take River’s hand and lead him out the door and across the parking lot towards the main building.

“Are you serious about this?” he complains, dragging his feet.

“It may be fun. Let’s just check it out.”

He grumbles something I don’t catch, but keeps moving.

I scan the keycard I was given to get into the main building and open the door. This is like a little town for the retired. The main building has small shops and stores, restaurants, a gym and spa, and even a grocery store. A little golf cart drives along the property, picking up the residents and bringing them to the main building so they can hang out with friends or do some shopping. I don’t know why my grandma had such a fit when she was placed in one of these places. This looks fun to me!

I lead us into the casino and walk up to the window.

“Can I help you?” the lady behind the desk asks.

“We’re staying here for the summer and we were just checking the place out. How does all of this work?”

She seems a little confused, probably because I’m not a retiring senior. “Most of our occupants have money put into their account by their families. They are given a set limit on what they can spend a month, but the machines don’t pay out any money like a regular casino. What they win is credited to their account which they can spend here or in any of the shops on the property.”

“Oh.” I feel my face redden. Of course this isn’t like a regular casino. I’m about to tell her thank you and walk away when I hear a commotion behind me.

I turn around to see a group of old ladies circling around River. “You’re that young man from the beach, aren’t you? I’d recognize that nice rear end anywhere,” one lady says. And based on how high River jumps, I’m guessing she pinched his ‘nice rear end’.

I can’t help the wide smile that spreads across my face. But he doesn’t look entertained. He’s giving me the death glare with the ladies flocking around him.

“Come by my room later, sugar. I’ll teach you how to play pinochle,” the lady with a gray wig tells him.

I double over, laughing.

“That’s very nice of you ladies, but I really need to go and…I just need to go.” He squeezes between them because they are not backing away to let him leave.

He grabs my arm. “I’m sooo getting you back.” He drags me from the room, while my giggles continue.

As we’re walking down the hall towards the exit, another lady approaches us. River stops, being the polite man he is, but he doesn’t look happy about it.

“Hi there, sweet-stuff. I saw you on the beach today and couldn’t help but to notice how thin you are. So I whipped up a batch of brownies.” She smiles at him sweetly before giving me the death glare. “Don’t you know how to feed your man?” she asks me.

My mouth hangs open. What happened to sweet old ladies? The only ones I’ve seen here are horny as hell.

River takes the plate and bows his head. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you, Mrs…”

She turns back to him, sweetness dripping from her voice as she says, “Ms. Pen. Vivian Pen.”

River holds out his hand and she places hers in his. He places a kiss to the top. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Pen. And thank you for the brownies. I won’t be sharing any of them.” He flashes me an annoyed look.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.

The lady blushes and covers her smile with her hand.

Before anyone can say anything else, River grabs my wrist again and pulls me out the door.

“You’re sooo dead,” he seethes.

“Please, stop. My stomach can’t handle any more laughing.” I hold my side that is already aching.