I’m pulling my wet hair up into a bun as I walk down the hallway. I round the corner and head for the fridge.

“Hey.”

I scream and clutch at my chest. “What the fuck? You scared the shit out of me,” I yell at River while trying to calm my pounding heart.

He laughs. “Sorry.” He places a pan he pulled out of the oven onto the stovetop. “I figured I’d cook some dinner.”

I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and sit at the island. “You’re cooking me dinner?”

He shrugs while moving about, gathering things he needs. “I’m cooking us dinner.”

I take a sip and place the cap back on the bottle. “I thought you had left.”

He stops buttering the rolls and looks up at me through his thick eyelashes. “What kind of person sneaks out of bed and leaves without warning?”

I shrug. “Maybe the same kind of person who runs away as soon as the other turns their back to dress.”

He points the butter knife in my direction. “I’ll let that one slide. You didn’t know I was the man of your dreams then.” His cocky grin makes me laugh and shake my head.

“So, what are you making?” I ask to change the subject. The food smells wonderful and I can’t help but feel hungry.

He places the rolls into the bread basket and covers them with a cloth napkin. “I made chicken parmesan.”

“Really? That sounds fancy.” I stand and pull down two plates from the cabinet and hand each of them to him to serve the food.

“It’s nothing. I couldn’t make much. Do you ever go shopping?”

“Not unless I have to. I usually order pizza or Chinese.” I take the plates and carry them over to the table. He follows behind me with the basket of rolls.

We sit down, and I cut into my chicken and take a bite. “Wow! This is great. Where’d you learn to cook like this?”

“My mom for the most part. And just living on my own and having to figure things out.”

“I’ve lived on my own for four years now and I still haven’t figured out how to cook.”

He smiles and it makes my heart flutter. “So this trip, where are you going?”

My eyes fall to my plate. I don’t like talking about Katie. It makes a spot deep inside me hurt. “Um, to Miami,” I finally answer.

“When do you leave?” he asks, not looking up at me.

“I reserved a car for tomorrow.”

He sets his fork and knife down and glares at me, completely unmoving. “You mean you plan on driving across the country by yourself?” His voice is full of alarm.

I scoff. “Yeah. Why not?”

“I’m coming with you,” he says, jaw twitching and eyes growing darker by the second.

My fork clatters to my plate. “What?”

“There’s no fucking way you’re driving across the country alone. What are you even thinking?”

“I’m thinking that I need to take this trip and getting on a plane isn’t an option right now.” I can feel the anger leaving my body in thick waves. I’m sure he can feel it too because it’s all directed at him.

The anger lines between his eyes are starting to smooth out, like he understands the underlined meaning there. “Why isn’t a plane an option?”

I squint my eyes at him, slightly incredulous. “You know why.”

He blinks and slowly nods his head, understanding. “I get it, I do. But do you know how dangerous driving across the country is? You’ll be stopping at truck stops all alone for gas. You’ll be staying in shady motels by yourself.”

“I don’t even know you!”

He rolls his blue eyes. “So it’s okay for you to sleep with someone you don’t know, but you can’t take a trip with me?”

A laugh escapes me. “I don’t know.” I shake my head and rub my temples. “This is all fucked up. You were meant to be a one-time thing.” I stand and place my plate in the sink before turning to lean against the counter, no longer hungry.

He stands and his gaze locks on mine. “It’s all about trying something new and dealing with the consequences, remember?”

I’m holding onto the counter behind me for dear life as my breathing picks up. I don’t know why, but suddenly, I’m nervous. It may be the way his blue eyes darken with this intense conversation. It may be the way his jaw is cocked or the bobbing of his Adam’s apple. Or, it could be the way he’s slowly closing in on me.

Why is he doing this to me? He was supposed to be a one-time thing. I’ve never expected him to keep showing up, and I certainly never expected to want him this much.

He finally closes the distance between us as he comes to a stop directly in front of me. He places his palms flat against the counter behind me so he’s slightly leaning over me, but he’s not touching me even though we’re practically nose to nose.

“Can I join you on your trip?” His breath blows across my face, making me wet my dry lips.

“No,” I answer, still overwhelmed with anger.

He runs his tongue across his thick bottom lip as he moves in, lips almost touching. “Can I join you on your trip?”

I look into his dark eyes, and with our mouthes almost touching, I feel myself caving. It would be nice to not be alone on this trip, despite how much he annoys me. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?” he whispers, eyes still locked on mine.

I stand up straight, causing him to do the same. “You have to help me cross off this list. It has to be done by the end of summer.”

He grins. “That I can do.”

* * *

We meet up at the car rental bright and early the next morning, each with our bags.

“Are you ready?” I ask him.

“You got the list?”

I nod and smile before tossing my bag into the trunk.

I get behind the wheel and start the car while he takes the seat next to me. As I’m pulling out of the parking lot, he asks, “so where is this list?”

I reach into my purse between us and pull out the notebook, handing it over to him. He leans back in his seat, reading over every item.

It’s quiet for a long time while I follow along the route I mapped out. Finally, he tosses the notebook on top of my purse. “I think we can get all this done by the end of the summer.”

“Really?” I look over at him with a big smile.

He nods. “Yeah, I mean, some are simple, everyday things. How have you made it this far without doing a keg stand?”

I laugh out loud. “Katie and I went to a party once, and she was determined to get me to do one. She never managed it though. Leave it to her to pull it over on me now.”

He grows silent as he turns his eyes back to the road. “Katie made this list?”

I didn’t even mean to talk about her. It was such a fun memory, it just slipped out when he mentioned it. A shadow of sadness falls over me. “Yeah.”

“Why are you taking this trip? Wasn’t Katie’s plane heading toward Miami when it crashed?”

His question makes my blood run cold. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. I wasn’t prepared to talk about her, about any of this. God, if I had only kept my mouth shut.

I nod, not able to find my voice.

“What is it you hope to achieve by taking this trip?” He’s not being an asshole, he genuinely sounds interested. Like maybe he’s afraid it will fall short for me and he doesn’t want me to be let down.

I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and bite it while thinking it over. I want to answer his question, but I don’t want to give away too much to make him ask more. Talking about Katie, it’s not something I’m ready to do yet. Every time I hear her name, a pain slices through me. The wound is still too fresh, and talking about her is like pouring acid over that wound.

He’s staring at me, waiting for my answer so I take a deep breath. “She asked me to go on that trip with her, but I said no. I couldn’t afford it, and I didn’t want her paying my way. And then after…” I hope he knows what I mean by after because I can’t mention the crash or her death. “I found a letter from her. She wanted me to join her.”

“You’re not hoping to get there and have some sort of sign or spiritual connection, are you?”

I look over at him and see how worried he is.

I laugh. “No, that’s insane. I’m just taking the trip she never got to. I have to live for the both of us now.” I pull the necklace George gave me with her ashes, out from under the collar of my shirt. “She’s taking this trip with me.”

His eyes flicker down to the charm in my hand and his eyes glaze over with sadness before he turns his head back to the road. “What is that?”

“It’s her ashes. Well, some of her ashes. George gave it to me that day at his house.”

He nods but lines form around his eyes.

“Are you mad about something?”

“No, why would you think that?” he asks, still not looking at me.

I shrug. “You just seem mad. How did you know Katie anyway?”

“I’m just a friend of the family… more like an acquaintance actually.”

“Did you ever meet her?” I turn to study him.

He looks at me and answers, “yeah, several times.”

“And?” I feel my brows raise with the question.

“And what?”

I take a deep breath, hoping to gain a little bit of confidence. “Were you in love with her?” I ask because I couldn’t stand sleeping with a guy that is in love with my best friend. It would feel like I am some kind of sad replacement or something.

“No!” His voice raises as he shakes his head at me.

I laugh out loud. “Okay, sorry for asking.”

He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back, watching the road from beneath his lashes as our conversation comes to a screeching halt.

* * *

I drive for most of the day, not stopping until the sun starts to set. We decide to find a cheap motel and some dinner and start back on our way tomorrow.

We’ve only just made it into Arizona, but already, I feel like I’ve been trapped in that car for days.

We find a small town with one gas station, a diner, and a motel. The town practically looks deserted. The pavement is sunbaked, like it hasn’t been maintained in a long time, and weeds are growing up on the shoulders of the road. Wild flowers fill up the large ditches, and I can smell nothing but the hot tar of the pavement, and manure like maybe a farm is nearby.

The only good thing about this place is that all three of the businesses form a triangle. No need to go running through town to find anything. We have everything we need right here to stay the night and pick back up tomorrow.

We leave our bags in the trunk while we walk across the street to get some dinner. When we open the door, the bell rings and all four customers inside look directly at us.

“Not much goes on in this town, I can see,” River whispers in my ear.

I smile and dig my elbow into his ribs, but drag him to a table in the corner, hoping everyone forgets we’re here.

The young waitress greets us and sets down two menus. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”

“Yes, I’ll have an iced tea,” I reply while looking over my menu.

I look up to see the look she’s giving River, and instantly I’m jealous. Doesn’t she see me sitting here? For all she knows, we could be a couple.

She smiles and she bats her obnoxiously fake eyelashes at him. My teeth grind together absentmindedly.

I don’t hear what he tells her over my thoughts, but when she walks away, his laughter cuts through me.

My eyes snap up to his. “What are you laughing at?”

“Could you look any more jealous?”

I scoff. “I’m not jealous.”

“Oh, really?” His eyebrows rise with the question.

“Really,” I state matter-of-factly.

“So you wouldn’t care if I asked her out after her shift then?” He’s not looking at me any longer, he’s looking after the dark haired waitress whose uniform is entirely way too tight.

I feel my eyes grow wide with alarm, but reign in my jealously. “Be my guest. I have no claim to you.”

His amused expression is gone, replaced with the flexing of his jaw and flaring of his nostrils. He picks up his menu and looks it over.

The waitress is back and she looks at River for his order.

“I’ll just take a double bacon cheeseburger and fries,” he tells her, handing over the menu.

She turns to me for my order, but she’s still watching him out of the corner of her gray eyes.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger with no mustard and fries.”

She writes something down, and takes my menu before turning and walking away, shaking her ass more than needed.

I lean back in the booth and sip my tea, stirring it so the ice clinks off the glass.

“So you really think you have no claim to me?” River breaks the silence.

“Do you think I should? I mean, we met, what? Two days ago.”

He leans back, acting like he doesn’t care about anything going on around him. His eyes travel from mine, down my neck, and to my chest. “I bet your body thinks differently.” He offers up a smug grin.

My flesh breaks out in goosebumps from the way he’s looking at me. His dark eyes are practically lighting my insides on fire.

I laugh as my face heats up. “You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?”

He looks around the restaurant. “Why wouldn’t I be when all I have to do is look at you and your skin flushes? You still think I can’t read you, but I know everything you’re thinking right now, like how much you’re wishing I was moving inside you, causing you to shatter around me.” His voice is deep and rough, and the flexing of his jaw and the intensity of his dark eyes make me squeeze my thighs together, as desire reigns through my body.

His words turn me on, but I have to ignore that. I can’t let him be right. I have to control myself.

I roll my eyes. “Okay, let’s get one thing straight here.” I tap my index finger on the table. “You are not God’s gift to women. The way you affect me, is none of your concern. And you know what? It really doesn’t say much about you anyway since I’ve only had sex during meaningful relationships. Did you ever think that maybe the reason I enjoy it as much as I do isn’t because of you, but the thrill of not really knowing you? But rest assured, all of that will be gone by the end of this trip.”

I expected to piss him off. I want to piss him off as much as he’s pissing me off, but he smiles like he knows he’s getting to me and it creates an irrational rage inside me. “Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.”

Really? That’s it? I just went off in a rant like a crazy person and that’s all he has to say? “God, you’re so fucking annoying!”

He smiles wide and laughs before running his hand over the five o’clock shadow he’s now sporting. It’s only makes him sexier, and I hate myself for even thinking that.

His laughing stops as the waitress places our plates in front of us. She practically throws mine down in front of me, but his, she places softly with a smile and doe eyes.

I snort. She may as well sit down and feed him too.

My snort draws both their eyes in my direction. River looks amused, but the waitress, not so much.

“Can I get you anything else?” she asks River sweetly.

He gives her a small smile and shakes his head with a polite no thanks.

When she walks away, he places his elbows on the table and sits up straight. “Would you like to try that again?” His blue eyes cut through me. They are getting darker by the second.

“Try what again?” I ask, my voice leaking nervousness from the way his eyes are taking me in and darkening with their journey.

“Trying to convince yourself that you have no claim to me.”

“Whatever,” is my great reply.

I’m not ready to admit anything yet. I can’t be having feelings for him of all people. I mean, yes, he’s sexy as fuck and knows how to manipulate my body like no one ever has, but he also annoys the shit out of me.

I pick up my burger and take a bite, immediately regretting it. I grab a napkin and spit the bite into it.

“What’s wrong?”

I toss the napkin I just spit into down on the table. “It has mustard on it.” My eyes automatically look around for the waitress who didn’t get my order right because she was too busy checking out my— River.

“That’s great!” His sexy smile makes me forget about my food while my stomach does flips.

I shake the tingles from my body. “How is that great? I’m hungry!”

“Number forty-seven on the list says, ‘send back food’.”

“Oh, no.” I shake my head. “I can’t do that one right now.”

“What? Why?” His eyes narrow on me as his forehead wrinkles.

“Did you happen to see the looks that waitress was giving me? She will spit in it.”

This has always been my fear. I mean, damn, I saw that movie about the food service workers. I haven’t sent food back since, and I always get an uneasy feeling in my stomach when I think about how many times I had sent food back and just how much spit I must have consumed over the years.

“That’s just part of dealing with the repercussions, remember?”

I look nervously around the outdated restaurant, a knot forms in my stomach.

“What do you have to lose? I mean, you won’t eat it now anyway? You can at least cross it off the list.”

I twist my fingers together in my lap. I guess he’s right. I can at least eat my fries that are probably cold now.

“Okay.” I take a deep breath and raise my hand.

River bursts out laughing. “What are you doing? You’re not trying to answer a question in grade school.” He grabs my arm and lowers it.

I shrug. “I don’t know how to do this.”

He spots our waitress and waves her over. She comes to a stop at our table with a beaming smile, until he motions towards me.

Her smile instantly drops as she turns her whole body to look at me.

I look at River and he nods me on. I swallow the excess slobber that’s now pooling in my mouth at an alarming rate. “I ordered this with no mustard and there is mustard on it.”

She rolls her eyes and lets out a dramatic sigh. “I’ll have them make you a new one.” She walks away without saying another word.

I feel my smile form on its own.

“See that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

I shrug. “I guess not. But I’m still not eating it.”

He quirks an eyebrow at me. “You have to eat at least one bite.”

“Who made you the list police?” I grab a fry and bite it angrily.

He holds up his hands, silently agreeing not to mess with me.