We drive for hours before we stop in another small town to grab some lunch. It’s so nice outside that I can’t bear to sit in a crowded restaurant. We run through a drive-through and find a nice, quiet park.

We sit at a picnic table while we eat. The sun is shining bright, warming my skin. A slight breeze blows, keeping me from getting too hot, and the soft rustling sound of the tree branches moving relaxes me. There is a small pond that has at least a dozen white ducks floating along the top. They look so cute. I’ve never been this close to ducks before. I’ve never really been close to any animal other than a dog or cat.

I see a squirrel run down a tree, and he runs across the grass to another tree. I grab a french fry and toss it out onto the ground between the trees, almost to the water.

The squirrel stops what he’s doing, looking around cautiously before he finally jumps down and rushes to the fry. He picks it up with his mouth and rushes back up the tree.

I giggle and throw another.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” River says sitting across from me.

“What? Why? Do you think I’m going to be attacked by a squirrel?”

“No, I’m more concerned about those ducks.” He uses his head to motion toward the water.

I look over and see that all the ducks have seen my exchange with the squirrel.

I smile. “I have plenty for them too.” I grab a handful and toss them onto the ground. They move quickly to get the fries while squawking noisily.

When all the fries have disappeared from the ground, they all look at me angrily. I quickly throw another handful down to keep them busy.

“Wow. They must be starving.”

“They’re not starving. Ducks will eat anything. When I was a kid my mom used to take me to this one pond in the city to feed the ducks,” he says before popping a fry into his mouth.

“Did you feed them french fries too?” I ask with a smile, happy he’s telling me about his childhood.

He lets out a laugh. “No, we were pretty poor. I didn’t even know what a french fry was until I was old enough to find food for myself.”

His confession makes me a little sad. Is this why he’s never volunteered much information about his past before?

“We didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up so I never got to do the things normal kids did. But the one thing I did get to do was going to that pond and feeding the ducks because it didn’t require any money. If we had bread left at the end of the week, she would take me. I loved doing that with her. It was our time together. She worked all the time to provide the little she could. Just to make sure I got that time with her, I would eat sandwiches with only one slice just so we’d get our time together that week.”

“Awe, it sounds like you were a sweet little boy. I’d love to meet her one da— Oww!” I turn and look to see what just caused the blinding pain in my side. A duck stands next to me, squawking, rearing back to bite me again.

River laughs. “They can be demanding little shits.”

I toss more fries and it waddles away.

“You better make sure you save some for the walk back to the car or we’ll be chased.”

I hold up the fry container. “They’re all gone.”

He goes stock still as more ducks start moving in our direction.

“We better go.” He stands and reaches for my hand as the mob nears us.

The ducks must have a sixth sense for this sort of thing because it’s like they all turn on us. I freeze, and they do too as they all stare at me. I swear I can see a shadow of fire dancing in their beady eyes like they all came directly from Hell.

“Let’s go!” River tugs my arm as we rush towards the car with every last duck quacking and chasing after us. I laugh and squeal as we run with them on our heels.

We finally reach the car and I jump inside, slamming the door behind me. I’m clutching my chest and breathless when River jumps in beside me while the ducks surround the car.

“Fuck! One bit me on the ass!”

I roll in laughter, further impairing my ability to breathe.

“That fucking hurt.” He lifts his ass off the seat and lowers his pants enough for me to see the pink, circular mark on his skin. The edges are already turning a light shade of blue.

I lift my shirt to reveal my side, and I have a mark matching his. “Oh my God. Those are Hell ducks!”

He lifts an eyebrow. “Hell ducks?”

“Yeah, they came directly from Hell! I thought ducks were friendly.”

He pulls his pants back up and starts the car. “They are for the most part. They just fight for what they want. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Haven’t you ever heard the saying, don’t bite the hand that feeds?”

He looks at me while pulling on his seatbelt. “I have, but do you want to go ask the ducks if they have?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Get me away from these demon ducks.”

“Oh, so now they’re demon ducks?” He shifts into drive and pulls out slowly, avoiding the ducks that just won’t give up.

“Oh, they’re demon ducks alright. Fuck these ducks.” I sit back and cross my arms over my chest.

As we pull away, I lift my hand and raise my middle finger.

“Are you seriously flipping off the ducks right now?” His voice is full of amusement.

I let my hand fall onto my lap. “No.”

I hear his deep chuckle fill the car before we’re driving away from the demon ducks, heading back towards the interstate.

* * *

As we’re driving down the road, I pull the list from my bag and mark off ‘send back a wrong order’ and start looking for the next thing I can cross off.

“What’s next?” River asks, breaking the silence.

I roll my eyes and let out a sigh. “I have no idea. I swear she did this just to watch me squirm.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Perform a strip tease?” I say as I turn to look at him.

He grins from ear to ear. “I’d like to watch that.”

I ignore him as I continue on down the list. “Give a guy a fake number?”

He quickly looks over at me. “How did she pick the things on that list?”

I take a deep breath and set the notebook in my lap. “It’s all things I’ve never done. I’m not big on going out. I don’t flirt with random guys or dance.”

“I find it hard to believe that you never had to give a guy a fake number.”

“I’m not very approachable, as Katie says.” I push my dark hair away from my face as I slide my sunglasses on. “I don’t know if I can do these things. I mean, yeah I can give a guy a fake number, but strip?” I feel my nerves shoot up just from thinking about it.

His hand lands on mine with a soft squeeze. “Don’t worry about it now. We’ll get you drunk first.”

I slap his chest with a laugh. Grateful for him bringing me out of my sadness.

We drive for hours. My butt has long ago gone numb. I stare out the window and watch as we pass by nothing but trees. I sleep off and on and River just drives contently. He never complains about being stuck in the car, the traffic, or my lack of conversation. When I want to talk, he joins in, but when I start thinking about this trip and why I’m taking it, he’s completely happy just sitting at my side, holding my hand.

I still don’t know much about him, but we don’t have that awkwardness of needing to fill the silence with meaningless chit-chat. He doesn’t feel like a stranger to me. We connect on some level I don’t quite understand. I haven’t had this instant connection with anyone other than Katie. Is it crazy to think Katie sent him to me? If I think about it, I only met him because of her. I never would have kissed him without her list. I never would have even talked to him if it wasn’t for her. Is this what she was hoping would happen when making that list?

Thinking about her gives me this feeling of happiness, but also sadness. I miss her so much. I want to pick up the phone to tell her about River. I want to tell her how I’m checking items off her list. I want to tell her how much I love and miss her.

Without thinking, I grab the notebook and a pen and start to write her a letter. I know she won’t ever read it, but I think just getting the words out will help. Isn’t writing supposed to be therapeutic?

I close the notebook and clutch it to my chest. I feel my eyes tear up from thinking that this is the only way I can talk to her now. I’ll never see her face or hear her voice again. For the first week, I repeatedly called her cell just so I could hear the recording. Each and every time, it just made it worse for me. Katie was the glue that held me together, and now that she’s gone, I’m falling to pieces.

I squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling. I try to calm my breathing and relax. My heart rate slows as I drift off into a deep sleep.

Katie and I are watching MTV in her living room when her dad walks through the front door. He usually stops to say hi to us, but today, he walks straight through to the kitchen. After a couple minutes of quiet, the silence is broken when the sound of something crashing fills my ears.

“How could you not tell me about this?” Mary, Katie’s mom, screams.

“Honey, please calm down. It was a long time ago. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know there was anything to tell,” George explains.

I look over at Katie and she rolls her eyes. “Who knows what they’re fighting about now.”

We’re fifteen, but in this moment, she looks like a little girl who always gets afraid when her parents fight.

I know she needs me right now. I place my hand in hers and squeeze. “I’m sure everything will be okay. Do you want to go outside and take turns on the swing?”

She offers a small smile and nods before we stand and head out the front door.

* * *

“Wake up, sleepyhead. We’re here.”

I jump awake and rub the sleep from my eyes. I look around us to find we’re parked in a hotel parking lot. “Where are we?”

“Somewhere in Arizona.” He removes the keys from the ignition and opens his door to step out.

“God, are we ever going to get out of this state?”

He opens the back door and grabs our bags. “Maybe if we don’t stop every hour.” His eyes narrow on me as wrinkles form at the edges.

“I’m sorry. I have to pee!”

We both walk around the car and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s check in and then we’ll find some place to eat.”

We find a bar and grill and take a seat as we wait on a waitress. The place is crowded and appears to be more of a bar than a grill. There are pool tables, dart boards, and a jukebox, along with a big stage and dance floor. The front of the building was lined with motorcycles and all the bikers are gathered at the bar. They are loud and rowdy, but I try to ignore them as I look over the menu.

The jukebox kicks on, playing Pour Some Sugar on Me, and River leans back, placing his arm across the bench seat. “So how about that strip show?” He winks at me.

I laugh out loud. “No way! We’d be kicked out. Plus, I don’t want those fat, hairy bikers drooling all over me. I’m not so sure you could take them.”

He scoffs. “I’m not worried about them.”

I nod with a fake smile, not so sure.

We eat and stick around to have a few drinks, just enjoying being out of the car. The bar continues to fill with people and it’s growing louder and louder.

At ten, the main lights shut off and the bar dims. Black lights come on just as someone takes the stage. I turn to watch, hoping for a live band, but to my surprise, it’s karaoke.

I shrink down into my seat as River turns quickly to look at me, excitement written on his face. “How perfect is this?”

“Not happening, dude.” I shake my head.

“Waitress! Another round!” he shouts.

I’m still not agreeing. “No fucking way.”

“Why not? You don’t know these people.” He motions around the bar with a wave of his hand. “You’ll never see them again.”

I sit upright and lean across the table. “I thought we were just having dinner and drinks, not worrying about the list right now.”

“We were, but when the opportunity comes along…”

The waitress places our drinks on the table and River hands over the money.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, standing.

I latch onto his hand like if he leaves me sitting alone I might die. “Where are you going?”

He shakes free from my grasp. “Chill. I’m just going to the bathroom.”

I sink back, sipping my drink.

The song ends and the DJ’s voice takes over the bar. “Give a round of applause for Nikki!” The bar breaks out with people clapping and cheering. “Next up, Joooviieee.”

I sit up straight as River comes walking back to the table with a shit-eating grin. He reaches for me, but I dodge away.

“No fucking way.”

He grabs me and pulls me up. “Come on, Jovie. You have to cross it off your list sometime.”

“But why now? Why not tomorrow?”

He laughs in my ear, his breath blowing across my heated skin. “You’re always going to say tomorrow, but tomorrow isn’t promised.” He walks me to the stage and practically pushes me up the two steps.

I turn and look at all the eyes on me. I freeze like a deer caught in the headlights as I’m handed a microphone. The music starts up to Closer by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey.

With all eyes on me, I can’t do it. I can’t sing. I miss the beginning of the vocals and don’t know how to jump in. My eyes flash nervously around the crowd. They’re all staring at me, waiting for me to sing, but I don’t even know how to use my voice right now.

I’m about to drop the microphone and run off stage when River’s voice comes over the speakers, filling the bar. He walks up on the stage, singing the song for me.

He walks up to my side and takes my hand while singing directly to me. My face heats up with all eyes on us. He turns us so my back is to the crowd and every time I try to turn away from him, he directs me back to his eyes. I know it’s his own little way of telling me to focus only on him and not the crowd. When the chorus comes around, he lifts my hand that’s still holding the microphone at my side and raises it to my lips.

I start singing along with him, but my voice is shaking and full of nerves. He places his hand on the base of my neck and pulls me closer, never missing a beat of the song. The closer he gets to me, the further away the crowd gets. My voice grows stronger as I sing along.

When the song wraps up, I’ve completely forgotten all about the crowd. It was just me and him up here, singing to one another. The rush I feel when the crowd cheers makes my face burn with embarrassment.

River bows, eating up the attention, before leading me from the stage.

I try my best to hide my face from the crowd as we walk through to the bar.

“You were amazing, beautiful.” His lips land against mine and it only fuels the rampant emotions pumping through me.

When he pulls away, we’re both breathless. “Check that off your list. I’ll be right back.”

I’m so lost in my thoughts, I don’t even think to stop him, but he better not do that to me again.

I order us a round of drinks just as a big biker stops at my side. “Hi, gorgeous.” The tip of his wide nose is slightly red, along with his ears. I can tell from looking at him that he is three sheets to the wind.

“Hi.” I smile, hoping that’s all he’s seeking and will leave me alone.

“Did you come here with someone?”

I nod. “Yeah, he just went to use the restroom.”

The bartender places our drinks in front of me and I hand over some cash. I grab the drink and take a sip, hoping the biker at my side takes the hint that I don’t want to talk.

“Me and my buddies are about to head out. You ever rode on a real man’s bike before?”

I snort in laughter. “No, I can honestly say I haven’t.”

I see River walk out of the bathroom from over the bikers shoulder. Thank God.

“Do you want to?”

I scrunch up my nose. “Not tonight, but thank you,” I reply, trying to be polite and not start trouble.

“Can I get your number then? Maybe tomorrow.” What a persistent little shit.

Lightbulb! “Sure.”

He hands me a napkin and pulls a pen from his leather vest.

I write down a fake number and slide it across the bar. He looks cocky as he picks it up and folds it in half. “I look forward to talking to you again.”

I smile and nod. Yeah right, guy. You’re never going to hear from me again.

Before he turns to walk away, he wraps his big arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a kiss. His mustache rubs against my face as his fat, wet lips press against mine.

I’m in complete shock. My eyes are wide open while I’m completely frozen. River’s eyes land on mine and he sees the panic written in them.

“Hey!” He pulls the big man away from me.

The man doesn’t even say anything. He just swings, connecting with River’s jaw.

One hit was all it took. The whole atmosphere of the bar changes. Everyone saw the exchange and it seems to give them the permission they needed to hit any person who’s annoyed them all night.

I stand stunned as a huge fight breaks out all around me. River is throwing punches at the biker, landing one after another. And somehow, he tosses the man down long enough to grab my wrist and pull me towards the exit. Just as we’re running through the door, a beer bottle flies behind me, shattering off the wall and I duck instinctively, heart hammering.

We rush to the car and the people fighting seem to trickle out with us.

When the cops speed into the parking lot, we kick up dust leaving fast.

“What the fuck happened?” he asks me with blood dripping from his lip.

I smile with realization. “I get to cross off three things.”

“Sing karaoke, give out a fake number, and what?” he asks, his eyes glancing from the road to me and back.

“Start a bar fight!” I pull the list from my bag and cross off three more.