My legs are still wrapped around his hips, and his chest is pressed against mine. He looks up at me, and his blue eyes are shining again. They are a clear blue with green undertones. Just staring into them sets my body ablaze, especially now that I know he can press all the right buttons inside of me.

I don’t even know this man, but he’s the only person left that’s ever challenged me to feel and to be free. I want to know more about him: his name, where he’s from, why he was at Katie’s parents’ house today. But I’m almost afraid that getting these answers will break the spell for me.

Staring into his eyes as his chest rises and falls quickly, his hot breath blowing against my face, it’s all beginning to feel too intimate, a place I’m not willing to go. I push against his chest until he pulls out of me and places my feet on the ground.

He turns his back to me while he pulls off the condom and tosses it into a nearby dumpster, and I straighten my dress.

I can see his arms moving, like he’s positioning himself back into his pants, and then I hear the zipper on his jeans. I know he will be turning around any minute now, and the alcohol is wearing off. My face feels like it’s on fire. I need to get out of here before he turns around and we have to have some kind of awkward conversation.

I quickly walk back around the building as quietly as I can before he sees me. Once I’m no longer in eye shot, I pick up the pace and rush around to the front to hail a cab.

Katie must really want me to have this one-night stand, because the first cab I see stops, and I jump inside.

In a rush, I tell him my address. He shifts the car into drive and hits the gas. I turn to look back the way I came and see him walk out of the shadows. He looks to his left and then to his right. His eyes zero in on me in the back of the cab. I see his shoulders fall, relief or disappointment washing over him, I’m not sure which. Probably relief. A guy like that doesn’t get disappointed when a girl like me leaves without being asked.

I turn back around in my seat and face forward, thinking over what I have just done. I had my first one-night stand. I mean, he didn’t take me back to his apartment, I didn’t have to sneak out of bed, but that’s not what makes it a one-night stand, is it?

For the sake of the list, I’m going to say no. I had sex with a complete stranger, and I have no intention of seeing him again. That is definitely a one-night stand.

* * *

When I wake in the morning, I expect to feel a lot dirtier than I do. I never did the sleeping around thing because I thought sex wouldn’t be as good with a random person, that I needed to connect with him on a deeper level. But that was not the case with…damn, I don’t even know his name.

I push the thoughts away and go for a shower. I turn the water on to let it heat up as I begin to pull off my clothes. I happen to catch a glimpse of something in the mirror that makes me do a double take. I have fresh bruises on my hips that wrap around to my backside.

I laugh and cover my mouth as I inspect the mirror closer. When my hand falls back at my side, I see my bottom lip is slightly swollen and a bruise stains it as well. It’s barely even visible, but I know it’s there.

Just seeing the marks he left on my skin sends a rush through me. My stomach muscles tighten, wanting more of him. I roll my eyes and shake my head. That’s never going to happen.

* * *

When I get out of the shower and dress for the day, I pick up my list and mark through, “Have a one-night stand” and “Dance in public.”

Every time I mark something off this list, a smile forms as a blanket of comfort falls over me, warming me. It’s like Katie is giving me a hug for achieving the small goal.

I toss the list to the side and grab my computer. I need to plan my trip to Miami to start her vacation. I know this is a completely crazy idea, but it’s something I need to do for her. She never got to take the trip of a lifetime, as she called it, so I’m going to take it for her.

I look at the price of a plane ticket, but dread settles over me. Can I get on a plane? So soon after my best friend was killed on one? I could take a bus or train. Or maybe even rent a car and take a road trip. I pull up a car service and book a car, wanting to get on with her plans. I close the computer and grab my things. I have a list of my own to get done before taking this vacation.

I walk into the tanning salon I work at and stop at the counter. Jill, a girl I’m not too friendly with, is behind the counter making out with who I assume is a customer.

I knock on the glass counter. “Hello?”

They pull away from one another quickly.

“I’m so sorry,” she starts, but then she sees that it’s just me. “Oh, hey. What’s up?” She straightens her too tight tank top, and brushes her disheveled bleach blonde hair away from her overly done face.

I smile sweetly, enjoying this entirely way too much. “I quit.”

Her mouth falls open as her emerald eyes widen with surprise. “What? Why? You’re supposed to relieve me this afternoon.”

“Yeah… That’s not going to happen. See ya!” I spin and walk out the door with a pep in my step. I laugh as I walk away. Jill wasn’t expecting that at all. I’ve always been the reliable one, the one that was always called when someone couldn’t come in. But I’m taking Katie’s advice and quitting that dead-end job. I want no ties to this place or my old life.

It’s time for a change.

I stop at a few stores and grab a new bikini, something I would never have chosen before. The top barely covers anything more than my nipples and the bottoms, if you can even call them that, are nothing more than a few strings put together. I also grab a new pair of sunglasses and flip flops.

Walking back to my apartment, the sun shines brightly down upon me, warming my skin. The warm breeze feels magical as it blows loose strands of hair around me. Quitting my job, I expected to feel panicked. I no longer have a steady income. But instead, I feel liberated. Finally free from a dead-end job that provided me nothing but a small income.

As I’m walking down the street, high on my most recent accomplishments, I see an Indian restaurant up ahead. I’ve always avoided it because it’s known for its incredibly spicy food. My feet stop moving as I think it over. It’s not that I’m afraid to eat spicy food, it’s just that the pain outweighs the gain. But I guess not everything on this list will be fun for me. Some things are purely there just to make me uncomfortable, make me try different things to get me out of my element.

I take a deep breath and push on.

I walk the few steps into the restaurant and the smell of the spice lingers in the air. It burns my tongue and throat just from breathing.

“Table for one?” the hostess asks.

I nod. “Yes, please.”

She leads me to a small two-person table and hands me a menu. Already I feel out of my element, and I haven’t even had to order yet.

“What can I get you to drink?” she asks, standing up straight with her hands clasped at her waist.

God, I don’t know. What will help with the burn? “Just water, please.”

She bows her head before rushing off to get my water.

I start looking through the menu, not knowing what anything is. I look at the people around me to see what they are eating, but honestly, it all looks the same to me.

I feel defeated.

I feel my skin prickle and a tingling forms in my stomach. I begin looking around me, wondering why I’m feeling this way. I gaze around the room, twisting in my seat to see behind me. My eyes lock on familiar bright blue ones.

I turn around quickly. Oh, fuck. This is not happening. I rub my temples as my eyes flutter shut.

He saw me. I know he saw me. Please don’t let him come over here. I pray that he accepts last night for what it was and doesn’t make this awkward.

“I didn’t think I’d get lucky enough to see you again.”

Fuck. I should have known I couldn’t get that lucky.

I look up at his ocean colored eyes and swallow down my fear. “I didn’t either,” I answer as I look him over. Yesterday he was dressed in a suit for the funeral, and when he showed up at the club, he hadn’t bothered to change. But today, he looks completely different. Today, he’s wearing a pair of jeans that hang slightly from his hips, a pair of black sneakers, and his black t-shirt hugs his hard chest and muscular arms. He looks younger and carefree. Hot as hell.

He nods toward the chair across from me. “Mind if I sit with you?”

My eyes flash around the busy restaurant, scrambling to come up with an excuse.

He sits down despite my lack of reply. “I can see that you’re back to being your old worried self.” His smug grin is back and it annoys me.

I roll my eyes. “You don’t know anything about me.”

One of his eyebrows raise as he shrugs. “I read people pretty well,” he says, being completely abrasive.

I lean forward, challenging him. “Oh yeah? What do you see when you read me then?”

He leans back in his seat, confidence rolling off his strong frame. “I’m afraid I will offend you.” He rubs his angular jaw like he couldn’t care less what we’re talking about.

“Well then you don’t read people as well as you think because I don’t offend easily.” I can’t help the competitiveness he brings out in me.

“Yeah, okay,” he says in a mocking tone with a roll of his eyes.

My mouth hangs open and my eyebrow arches. “You don’t believe me?”

He shakes his head. “Not in the slightest.”

I wet my lips and draw them into a tight line before adjusting my top and sitting up straight. “Try me. Hit me with your best shot.”

His bright blue eyes darken with mischief as he leans forward. His grin still hasn’t left his lips. It’s like he knows he is about to wreck me. “Have it your way.” He pops his neck like he’s getting ready for a fight. “You’re very closed off and shy. I think that you keep people at arm’s length, and only let those closest to you know the real you. It’s like you put on a show for the rest of the world, and it’s so tiring that by the time you get home in the evenings, you can’t even force yourself to socialize with another human being. I think last night was just the beginning of the new you. That you liked getting fucked against a dirty brick wall in an alley behind a club. And I think you got a whole lot more than what you were looking for last night.” Each word he says is deep and husky, filled with a desire that only fuels my own.

I’m so caught up in what he’s saying because he’s dead on. “What do you think I was looking for, and what do you think I found?”

“I think you were looking for someone to help you forget for a moment.”

“And that’s exactly what I found, wasn’t it?” I question.

He shakes his head. “You found more than that.”

My face scrunches up on its own, not understanding what he’s saying.

He picks up on my questions. “You found someone who’s just as broken as you are. Someone who needs an escape… just like you.”

I open my mouth to ask him what that’s supposed to mean, but the waitress is back and placing my water in front of me.

“Are you ready to place your order?” she asks, politely.

“Oh!” I pick up my menu and attempt to look over it again. “I have no idea. I’ve never eaten here before.”

There is a long list on the menu, and by each selection is a picture of a pepper. I look at the top of the menu and see they gauge the spiciness of the dish with the number of peppers on the side. I glance down until I find the first one with three peppers. I point at it and show her the menu. “I’ll take that one.”

She moves her palm against her chest. “Are you sure? That’s a very brave order for someone who’s never eaten here before.”

I nod. “Yep, that’s what I’ll have.”

She looks at the man sitting across from me. “I’ll have the same,” he tells her.

I hand my menu to the waitress before looking at him. “You don’t even know what I ordered.”

He shrugs. “I’ve had everything on their menu. It doesn’t matter what it is.”

I realize I still don’t know his name and embarrassment settles over me because this man knows me in ways nobody else does.

“Well if you’re going to crash my lunch, I think I need to know your name.”

“Are you sure you want to know? That won’t break the spell for you?” The corners of his lips turn up just a bit.

How does he know so much about me? Am I really that transparent? “Seeing you again today after what we did last night has already broken the spell,” I lie. “So I think knowing your name is okay.”

He lets out a small laugh. “It’s River.”

River…that’s a weird name. “Don’t you want to know mine?”

The waitress places a glass of water on the table in front of him and he picks it up, taking a drink. “I already know your name, Jovi.”

“What? How do you know that?”

He lets out a deep laugh. “Calm down, I’m not stalking you if that’s what you’re thinking. I heard your dad tell George yesterday. That’s how I knew you were outside.”

Oh. That makes sense.

The waitress places our meal down in front of us and the smell of the food wafts up, stinging my eyes and making them water.

“What’s the matter?” River asks, picking up his fork to eat.

“I don’t like spicy food.”

“Then why did you order the spiciest thing on the menu?”

I open my mouth to tell him ‘because of the list,’ but then think that maybe I shouldn’t tell him about that. That list is between Katie and I. I don’t want to share that secret with anyone else. Plus, he’d probably think I was completely crazy.

“It’s just something I thought I needed to try.” I shrug as I pick up my fork and poke at the sliver of meat.

He shakes his head, not understanding, as he takes a bite of his own food. “Do you want to order something else?”

I shake my head. “Nope. I ordered this, and I’m going to eat it.” I raise the fork to my mouth and take a bite. The slice of chicken is already hot and burning my mouth so the spiciness of it doesn’t even register…until I swallow. Then my mouth feels like it’s on fire. My eyes start to water as my mouth stings.

I stick my tongue out and try fanning it with my hands. When that doesn’t work, I grab my glass of water and chug down as much of it as I can. The burning on my tongue is what I imagine hell to feel like. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think my mouth was melting.

River’s laugh cuts through me, and I turn my angry gaze at him. “What’s so funny? I’m in pain here!”

He throws his head back, laughing even harder.

I reach across the table and smack his shoulder. “What’s wrong with you? Make it stop!” My eyes are completely filled with tears now. They are running down my face faster than I can wipe them away. But my tearstained face is not what I’m worrying about. I’m worried about never being able to taste anything ever again because I know my taste buds are burning off right now.

All my yelling at River and acting like a complete crazy person gets the attention of the waitress and she rushes over with a glass. “Drink this.”

I take the glass, more than willing to drink anything that will put me out of my misery. I chug the magical substance, that just so happens to be milk, and little by little, the burning subsides. I set the empty glass on the table while she stands back watching with a look that says ‘I told you so’.

“Oh, that’s so much better. Thank you.”

She nods with her arms crossed over her chest and walks away.

I use my napkin to dry my face as I look back up at River. He’s just sitting there eating like nothing is going on.

I feel my eyebrow raise. “Are you serious? How can you even eat that?”

He shrugs. “I like it.”

“I hate spicy food.” I toss my napkin down on the table and scoot my chair back. “In fact, I think I’m going to go pay and get out of here.” I stand without telling him goodbye and turn towards the register.

The waitress who waited on my table is now behind the counter. When I walk up, she smiles and waves me on.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

She nods. “It happens all the time.”

I can only imagine. “Thank you,” I tell her with a kind, appreciative smile.

I push open the door and step out onto the sidewalk. I’m only a few steps away when River rushes out behind me.

“Hey!”

I stop and turn to face him. “You are a really bad stalker. You know, you’re not supposed to let me see you.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not stalking you. What are you doing today?”

I shrug as I begin walking again. “I have to pack.”

“Pack?” he sounds alarmed as his feet stop moving.

“Yeah, I’m taking a trip,” I say over my shoulder.

He jogs until he catches back up to me. “Where to?”

I look at him, feeling a smile tugging at my lips. “What’s it to you?”

“I’m just making conversation, Jovi.”

“I’m not the best at conversation,” I say without slowing as I jog across the street.

He keeps pace with me, and once we’re across the street, he grabs me by the crook of my arm, stopping me. “Let’s stop in here and grab a drink.” He motions towards the small pub we’re standing in front of.

My head cocks to the side while I look over at him, studying him. “Look, I didn’t mean for you to fall in love with me or anything last night. That broken girl you met yesterday and saw last night, that’s not me.”

He rolls his eyes yet again. “Don’t be so full of yourself.” He grabs me by my shoulders and walks me in the door.