Chapter 10

Lacey

Things were awkward between me and Grant after that. Actually, that’s an understatement. Things weren’t just awkward, they were excruciating.

We avoided each other completely in the mansion, which wasn’t difficult given the size of the house. If I heard him in the kitchen, I’d order in from a local restaurant and eat in the dining room. If he was in the living area, I’d go up to my room.

One morning, I was sitting by the pool and he came out and sat by himself at the other end of it. We just watched each other over our sunglasses and didn’t speak. It was weird. We’d been sharing the same home for years, and suddenly we were like two complete strangers.

Forrester and Grady noticed. They knew exactly what had happened. So much for it being a secret. They didn’t mention it, but there was sort of an unwritten rule among us that we wouldn’t sleep with each other. Or more specifically, that they wouldn’t sleep with me. My father had taken them in and we were supposed to all be a family.

Grant and I had broken that rule, and no one really knew what it meant. Maybe we’d all been living together for too long. It would be a shame if the Brotherhood drifted apart because of something stupid Grant and I had done, but we couldn’t all share a house forever, could we?

It was one thing when we were in our twenties, but the brothers all had millions of dollars now, and didn’t need to be living in my house. Jackson had fixed up his father’s old vineyard and moved into it with Faith. Maybe the others would do something similar.

I’d miss them though. Actually, I’d be devastated. I didn’t want to lose the only family I’d ever known.

I counted the days until Jackson and Faith got back from their honeymoon. They’d gone up north to Washington for a couple of weeks. There was a forest up there where Jackson had bought a cabin by a lake. They took Sam, and they fished and jet skied and went out in a boat. The pictures looked beautiful.

The day after they got back, I called Faith.

“How was the honeymoon?”

“Amazing,” she said, and I could tell by her voice that she was the happiest she’d ever been.

She’d always been a happy, positive person, but there was a lightness to her now, like she’d finally gotten what she’d always wanted. I couldn’t help wonder if I’d ever know that sort of happiness.

“Was Jackson everything you remembered?”

“And more,” she said, and then giggled like a girl. “Lacey, he’s an animal. My husband is a beast.”

I laughed.

“And he spent so much time with Sam, too. It was perfect. It was a dream, Lacey.”

“I’m so happy for you, Faith.”

“You sound like you need to talk about something,” she said.

I took a deep breath. It had been killing me, keeping my little affair with Grant to myself all this time. I hadn’t wanted to disturb Faith on her honeymoon.

“There is. Can we talk at the Rusty Nail tonight?”

“Of course.”

* * *

Faith was waiting for me when I got there. I scanned the bar. None of the Brothers were there, which was rare. Usually at least one was leaning against the bar with a beer in his hand.

“You look beautiful,” I said, when I saw her.

She was positively radiant. Love agreed with her. Marriage was bringing out her best.

She’d ordered a bottle of zinfandel and the waitress brought it over and opened it.

“I figured we’d get through a bottle,” she said.

“At least,” I said. “Faith, something terrible has happened.”

“What?”

“Grant and I …” I didn’t finish my sentence, but I didn’t need to. She already knew what I was going to say.

Her hand went in front of her mouth and a look of disbelief crossed her face. I thought she was shocked, but then I noticed that she was struggling to stifle a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I said, indignantly.

“Oh, Lacey. I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve known you and Grant needed to hook up for years.”

“Well I’m glad you find it so amusing.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she said. “It’s serious, I can tell.”

I looked at her sternly. It was serious.

“When did it happen?”

“At your wedding.”

She laughed again.

“Faith!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s been so awkward between us since.”

“Why? Just tell him how you feel.”

“How do I feel?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

I looked at Faith and felt my emotions well up.

“Oh, sweetie,” she said again, “what is it? Did something go wrong?”

“That depends on what your definition of right and wrong is.”

“Tell me exactly what happened.”

I took a sip of my wine. There was a napkin under my glass and I used it to wipe my eyes. I hadn’t cried, but my eyes were full of tears and I’d spent ages on this mascara. If I could avoid messing it up that would be good.

“We promised each other it would just be a once off thing.”

“Oh,” Faith said, obviously disappointed. “Why? You’re both single aren’t you? You’re both crazy about each other.”

“I’m crazy about him, I know that much. But Grant doesn’t want a relationship with me at all. He made that abundantly clear.”

“Maybe you misunderstood him.”

“He said we’d only have sex that one time, and it would be a secret.”

“Maybe he was trying to convince you to go through with it. Downplaying it.”

“I know,” I said. “That was part of it, sure, but you know Grant. He’s never been in a relationship for more than a week or two.”

“That’s because he’s always been secretly in love with you.”

That made me laugh.

“Please, Faith.”

“I mean it, Lacey. I’ve been watching him look out for you for twelve years, ever since I got here.”

“He wanted me. That much was clear. But I think he just wanted me because I was forbidden. He wanted to have what he wasn’t allowed to have. And now that he’s tried me, he’s satisfied and ready to move on.”

“Lacey. I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”

“He had a crush on me when we were younger,” I said. “I found pictures from when I was in high school.”

“Exactly.”

“But it was just a crush, Faith. Just an infatuation. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he’s been wanting to fuck me for his whole life. So he took his opportunity at the wedding.”

“Give him time.”

I laughed. “I’ve given him seventeen years, Faith. I’m not waiting any longer. You know, we even discussed marriage.”

“How did that come up?”

“Well, we were at your wedding after all.”

“Of course.”

My mind flashed back to the moment of orgasm, when Grant had cried out wife, and I’d cried out husband. I didn’t mention that to Faith. That was too private. She didn’t need to know every single detail.

“So what did he say about marriage?”

“You know. Same thing he always says.”

“That it’s impossible?”

“Yes. And this was right after he’d just climaxed inside me, Faith. It was really hurtful. I was filled to the brim with love for him. I’d have promised my life to him if he asked. But all he wanted to talk about was how marriage wasn’t a realistic option for him.”

“I see,” she said, her face full of sympathy.

“Yeah. So, you know. I’m pretty sure there’s no point in waiting around for him to propose to me. I’m thirty-four, Faith. I want to move forward with my life. I want to find the one.”

“I understand that.”

“The way Jackson feels about you. The way he spent years hunting down Los Lobos to make sure you and Sam were safe. I know it was torture, waiting for him. But he was committed to you completely. He’d have died for you. That’s what I want.”

“Of course you want it, Lacey. You deserve it.”

“Do I?” I said, my eyes filling with tears again.

“Of course you do, sweetheart. Don’t you think otherwise for one second. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You’re a wonderful person, and you’ll make someone very happy someday.”

“I don’t think Grant wants me in that way.”

“Then you find a man who does. Do you hear me? You find a man who’ll cherish you for the treasure you are. You don’t need to settle for anything but the best, Lacey. If you want a husband, if you want a big wedding, and a diamond ring, and the whole nine yards, then you find the man who will give it to you. Because he’s out there.”

“I just hope I won’t let my feelings for Grant hold me back.”

Faith smiled. “He was that good, huh?”

“Oh, Faith. I can’t even describe it. He was better than good. He blew my mind.”

Faith laughed. “I know the feeling.”

I looked at her and smiled too. It was true. Any girl who’d ever seen Jackson knew Faith had a hell of an animal in her bedroom.

“Yes, you do.”

“Well,” Faith said, “why don’t you just count it as a blessing. You had the orgasm of your life with the guy you’ve been secretly obsessed with since high school, and now that it’s out of your system, you can find Mister Right and settle down.”

I nodded. That was certainly a good way of looking at it. I could search for the man of my dreams, while knowing I had at least had the pleasure of Grant’s cock. It wasn’t the way I would have preferred things to play out.

My first choice would have been for me and Grant to fall madly in love. And then he’d propose to me with the ring of my dreams, a solitaire diamond ring.

Then we’d have our dream wedding, with flowers and doves and music, then move into a beautiful house with a white picket fence, and I’d give him the most beautiful babies he could ever imagine. And then we’d live happily ever after.

And then unicorns would fall out of rainbows in the sky. A girl can dream, but at the end of the day, it’s reality that has to give you your happiness, not fantasies.