Chapter 27

Lacey

The next morning when I woke I felt terrible. I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Who could I call?

Rob? I took my phone from my bedside table and scrolled down to his name. My thumb hovered over the green calling icon, but I couldn’t bring myself to press it. My new fiancé, and I couldn’t call him. I didn’t want to call him. I wanted to call Grant.

My stomach heaved. I leapt from the bed and got to my bathroom just in time to throw up.

And before you say anything, I know what you’re thinking. Morning sickness, right? I’ll be honest. That’s what I thought too. My night of passion with Grant? That one night that was supposed to be our secret, that no one was ever going to find out about, that was never going to lead to any consequences. That night we’d decided not to use a condom because Grant thought it would be sexier. That night that he’d spilled himself into me and I hadn’t even had the good sense to use the morning after pill. That night he’d told me to call him husband.

Yup. That night.

Maybe I’d been hoping for this all along. I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything any more. My life was falling to pieces around me, and I’d just accepted a proposal from a man I wasn’t in love with.

As I cleaned myself up and left the bathroom, I made a note to call my doctor. I needed a pregnancy test. Not exactly the ideal thing to be taking care of the day after being proposed to by another man, but I didn’t have a choice.

What would Rob say if he ever found out about this?

I showered and dressed, went downstairs, and who did I run into in the kitchen?

“Good morning, sunshine.”

“Good morning, Grant.”

“How are you today?”

“Great, Grant,” I said, a little more frostily than I should have. He was being perfectly nice, but I was kind of ticked off that he might have put his baby inside me without so much as a please or a thank you.

“Anything new?”

There was a mischievous look on his face. What was he hinting at? Had he heard me throwing up? Did he suspect I was pregnant with his baby? Was he taunting me for that? No! He couldn’t be. Grant was a lot of things, but he wasn’t cruel.

Plus, he couldn’t have heard me throwing up. My room was on the opposite end of the mansion from his, a precaution my father had the good sense to take seventeen years ago.

“Nothing new, Grant.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Because you know you could tell me anything, right?”

I looked at him. He was being genuine. I knew him well enough to know when he was teasing me, and this wasn’t one of those times. He was genuinely offering me his ear. Why?

Had it crossed his mind too that I might be carrying his baby? Did he feel bad for the way things had gone down between us? He should have.

We could have been a thing, he and I. We could have made a life together. If I wasn’t pregnant with his kid, we could fix that. I just had to imagine his enormous cock to know we could easily fix that little issue.

But no. He didn’t want it.

I shoved past him to get milk from the fridge. I felt the powerful mass of his muscle beneath his white shirt. It made me long for him.

He reached out and touched my arm, gently, kindly. What was up with him? I’d done everything. I’d tried it all. I’d fucked him without a condom. I’d given him a chance to scare off Rob. I’d even called him from Club Viper and asked for his help.

I know I wasn’t perfect in all of it. I hadn’t exactly been clear about what I wanted, but Grant had made up for it. He’d been clear about what he didn’t want, and he didn’t want me, no matter what I did.

I took a deep breath.

“You know what, Grant?”

“What, Lacey?”

“This isn’t official yet, so don’t tell anyone.”

“Tell them what?”

“Rob proposed to me last night.”

Grant’s face was blank. No reaction. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I thought there’d be at least some reaction. It was almost as if he wasn’t surprised by the news.

“So, I guess I’ll be marrying him soon,” I added.

“Did you set a date?” he said.

“Not yet. We just talked about it a little, last night.”

“And you’re certain it’s what you want?”

“As certain as I can be,” I said. I wasn’t sure what I meant by that.

He looked at me inquisitively, but I didn’t offer any explanation.

He smiled, but there seemed to be a sadness in his smile.

“I’m happy for you, Lacey.”

“Thank you, Grant,” I said.

I grabbed my cereal and hurried out of the kitchen. I didn’t want him to see me cry.

* * *

After breakfast, I threw up again. I called the doctor and made an appointment. I didn’t say what the appointment was for. I just knew I had to know what the situation was before I could think clearly about what I needed to do. How did I get myself into such a mess?

I swear, I was the most depressed I’d ever been. For the day after being proposed to, it sure wasn’t a good omen for the marriage. I spent the morning in the living room, watching reality shows and eating ice cream. Forrester and Grady saw me but I didn’t care. Grant was around too, but he was mostly keeping to himself since finding out I was engaged.

Grant hadn’t asked any details so it was hard to know how much he cared. He hadn’t asked how Rob had proposed, which was good, because I wouldn’t have known what to say. He also hadn’t asked to see the ring, which was also good, because Rob hadn’t given me one.

I’d never been one of those girls who was obsessed with big, diamond rings, but there was something sad about not having any ring at all. The engagement somehow didn’t feel real without one.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Rob’s number. I had to speak to him. I had to get some sort of concrete affirmation that he was actually going to be my husband. I mean, was that proposal even for real? He’d driven off after making it and we hadn’t spoken since.

“Rob,” I said.

“Lacey, I was meaning to call you but I’ve just been swamped here.”

“I needed to hear your voice,” I said.

“Sure, sure,” Rob said, but he was speaking to someone else in his office, not me. “Sorry about that,” he said to me, “things are just really busy here. What can I do for you?”

“I don’t know,” I said, trying to make my voice as cheerful as possible. “How about marrying me?”

He let out a little laugh.

Grant walked into the room and grabbed the remote. He always did that. It infuriated me. Just because I was on the phone, didn’t mean I was done watching my show. I could talk and watch at the same time. He switched the channel to some sports and turned up the volume. I knew he was doing it to bug me.

Rob said, “So, our arrangement still stands?”

I thought that was a weird way to put it but I said, “Yes, of course.”

“Good,” he said.

Then there was a silence. I looked at Grant, slumped over an armchair, watching football highlights, his tattooed muscles peeking out from under his white shirt. He looked perfect. Absolutely perfect.

“I love you so much,” I said into the phone, while still looking at Grant.

Grant turned to me and I looked away immediately.

“Me too,” Rob said, weakly.

I was so desperate for love, but Rob gave so little.

“So, when are we going to start planning this thing?” I said.

“I don’t know,” Rob said.

Grant got up from his seat and came over to me. The tub of ice cream was by my arm and he took it. “Do you mind?” he whispered.

I shook my head.

“We should go look at flowers or something,” I said to Rob.

“Sure.”

“How about today? There’s a place in the city that’s world famous. They have like a million different varieties of orchid there.”

“I can’t today, sweetie,” Rob said.

“Oh, too busy?”

“Yes. Definitely.”

“We could do it after work. I’m sure I can get them to give us an appointment.”

“No, don’t bother, waiting for me,” he said. “I’m just swamped. You should go by yourself.”

“By myself?”

“It sounds like you’ve got nothing better to do.”

I blinked. “I guess I don’t,” I said. “It’s Faith’s day at the store today.”

“Right then. Call me later and tell me how it went. I’ve got to go.”

“Bye, honey,” I said. “I love … ”

He’d hung up before I’d even finished the sentence. I sighed, then glanced at Grant. He’d overheard everything.

“This has got to be the first time in months that you’ve decided to come down here to watch television,” I said.

He shrugged. “You call this ice cream?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Haven’t you heard of a real flavor? Like chocolate? Or vanilla?”

He was eating Cotton Candy Delight. In my opinion it was one of the most delicious things ever created by mankind.

“If you don’t like it, you can give it back. I wasn’t finished with it.”

He licked the spoon, purposely slobbering all over it, and then handed it back to me.

“Thanks,” I said.

“My pleasure.”

What was he doing down there? He never joined me to watch television any more. It was something we’d done years ago, when we were kids, but not so much as we got older.

“I heard you might be going into the city to look at flowers,” he said.

I shrugged, trying not to look like I cared. “So?” I said, coming off more defensively than I’d intended.

“Well, I’m going into town soon. I can take you if you like.”

“Oh, you don’t want to look at flowers, Grant. I know you hate all that girly stuff.”

He smiled at me, and there was such warmth in that smile, such kindness, such love for me, that it took my breath away. After spending so much time with Rob, I was beginning to forget the power Grant had over my emotions.

“Sure I do,” he said, simply.

“You hate wedding stuff.”

“Look, I know you haven’t told anyone else about the proposal. So I know there’s no one else you can take. You’re stuck with me.”

I took a spoonful of ice cream and relished it. I hadn’t forgotten that he’d slobbered all over the spoon. In fact, I wanted his saliva to touch my lips.