The car ride home was filled with awkward silence. Our attempts to make small talk were useless. Things had changed. We were both struggling and I could tell he was upset. However, I was done putting his feelings before my own. It didn’t matter how much he apologized. It didn’t matter how much I still wanted him. I wasn’t backing down this time.

He’d move on eventually, I had no doubt about that. Whoever he chose, would be one lucky girl. It just wasn’t going to be me.

When we pulled up to the curb at my apartment building, the moment seemed so final. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but I didn’t see any other way.

Brad killed the engine and turned to me. “Is there anything I can do to fix this?”

I wiped a small tear that ran down my cheek and shook my head. Even though I never came out and used the exact words, things needed to end between us.

He let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in his seat. “I fucking hate this.” He said, understanding the finality of the situation.

“I do too.” I admitted. “But it’s too hard for me to be near you all the time knowing that I can’t have you.”

Brad let out a sarcastic laugh. “Welcome to my fucking world.”

As if on cue, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I was so caught up in the moment and too distracted to check the caller ID before I answered.

“Hey, gorgeous. I told you I would call.”

I wanted to curse myself for picking up without knowing who it was. “Hello, Gage,” I replied, just in time to see Brad’s head snap to mine. “Can I call you back in a few minutes?”

“No need, I was just calling to remind you that I would be picking you up at seven tomorrow night.” I fell back into the seat and closed my eyes. I totally forgot that I’d agreed to go out with him tomorrow night. This was the last thing I wanted, but maybe it was the distraction I needed.

“That’s right.” I nervously said into the phone. “I’ll see you tomorrow at seven.” I confirmed, then clicked end call before I could change my mind.

Brad glared at me. His jaw was locked tight, he looked furious. Angry Brad, was actually pretty damn hot. “You’re not fucking serious, are you?”

“I’m sorry you don’t approve, but you don’t actually get a say in who I decide to date.” I snapped back and slipped my phone into my purse before placing it on my lap.

He inched his body across the car invading my personal space, causing the hairs on my arms to stand at attention. “The guy’s a piece of shit who goes through women like I do underwear. He’s not good enough for you.”

His jealousy only fueled my anger. “Well you know what, he actually wants me, unlike someone else we know.”

He flinched, but quickly recovered. He narrowed his eyes, the fury in them had me slinking further back in my seat. “That’s where you’re wrong. He doesn’t want you like I do. He just wants to fuck you. Is that what you want?”

His words felt like a blow that came out of nowhere. What he said was probably true, but he was still out of line. “Maybe a fling is just what I need.” I said trying to sound confident when in fact all I was doing was protecting myself.

He was pissed, and I was frustrated. Not a great combination. This wasn’t who we were. Regardless of what had happened, he was there for me whenever I needed someone. He had gone above and beyond the call of duty, and in spite of everything, his friendship was one of the few things that actually felt right in my life. The thought of losing him made me sad.

“Is that really what you want? He’s nothing but a player who doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself.” Even through his sunglasses, I could still see the fire in his eyes. He was mad. No, not mad. Furious.

There were so many things I wanted to say, but the way he looked at me had all my words coming to a stop. I reached for the door handle with a heavy heart. “No, that’s not what I want. What I want is a man who is emotionally available. I didn’t go to all the trouble of running from my past just to end up at another dead end.”

“I’m still going to make sure you’re protected from Colton. Even though you don’t want anything to do with me, I’m not going to let him hurt you.”

“I’m not your responsibility, Brad.”

“You were never just a responsibility to me, Lexi. You’ve always been so much more than that. My feelings about you haven’t changed. But I care about you enough to give you the space you need. I can still protect you without being a part of your life. I’m not going to let up until I know you’re safe.”

I gently pushed the door open and stepped into the blinding sunlight. Brad jumped out of the car, slamming the door behind him and walked over to the trunk. He went to reach for my bag, but I grabbed it first. “Damn it, Lexi, give me the damned bag.”

“No,” I said, feeling utterly deflated. I tried to ignore the cab horns blaring in the distance and the guys in front of us swearing at each other in Spanish as they unloaded the produce off their delivery truck. I tried to block it all out and imagine that it was just the two of us standing outside my apartment building, which was impossible in a city of eight million people. That was one of the few things I missed about home. The comfortable feeling of the Georgia countryside. Miles and miles of tree-lined roads and the simple sounds of nature covered by a clear, blue sky. New York City couldn’t be any more different than Georgia and this Brad couldn’t be any more different than the guy I was falling for. He was hard to walk away from but I guess I had become pretty good at walking away lately.

“I got this,” I finally told him, holding onto my overnight bag for dear life, as if it could somehow shield me from the hurt.

He turned to me with his beautiful brown eyes turning dark. I could see the struggle on his face as he worked a muscle back and forth on his jaw. “This is goodbye, isn’t it?”

I surprised him by standing on my tiptoes and planting a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Thank you, Brad.” I whispered, feeling my hair blow in the wind. He reached out and smoothed a piece of it down, letting his palm linger on my jaw. “I hope you find what you’re looking for. You’re a great guy. I’m sorry our timing wasn’t right.”

“I’m sorry too, but I’m not sorry I met you.” His tone was thick with so much emotion that for a split second, I thought about changing my mind.

My stupid tears began slipping from my eyes before I could swipe them away. He tenderly pressed the pad of his thumb under my eyes and pushed the wetness off my cheek. “You can do so much better than Garrison.”

The power of his touch and the look in his eye was the reason I had to end this. “And you deserve a much better life than the life you’re living.” I placed my overnight bag over my shoulder and walked towards the entrance of my building. The tears were coming down faster than I could stop them. I couldn’t look back. I wouldn’t look back. No matter how painful it was, ending it was the right thing to do.