Chapter 24
Avidya
I felt out of my element as I sat on the floor, surrounded by books and magazines. I never dreamed that I’d have any say over my own wedding, even as Julia insisted that I have nearly complete say over everything. She wanted this wedding planned and in motion by the end of the month, which was crazy fast. Even Zachariah wasn’t thrilled that his mother wanted it so fast.
I had a feeling that Carlos had something to do with the whole timing. I didn’t mind, exactly. The sooner it was over, the better it would be in the long run for everyone, I guess. Fewer threats over my head at least.
I didn’t entirely care what colors, nor what the theme of the wedding was. Zachariah had made his idea clear – small and not attention drawing. I agreed with his idea, but Julia still insisted that I had to have a wedding dress.
“I promise to keep the guest list under two hundred,” she said, turning the page the catalog she was currently looking through as she sat on the couch.
“No more than that,” Zachariah stated in a grumble. For a man that wanted to be in charge, he didn’t seem to thrilled about letting his mother have complete say over the guest list. “Rather no guest list to be done.”
“You know that won’t work,” Julia stated, glancing up at him. “Grandfather wants his only grandson to have the best of the best, no matter what.”
“You know as well I, I have never cared what he thought, nor wanted,” Zachariah stated as he lounged in the oversized chair, a computer atop his lap.
“Zach,” Julia said with a shake of her head. “Go do something if all you are going to do is complain.”
“I’m not complaining. Just stating my thoughts,” he said before shooting a wink my way and causing my face to reddened.
After my small meltdown the day before, Zachariah and I had taken the things I wanted to keep to my room. Although the room wouldn’t be mine for long, as I knew I would have to be sharing his room after we married. Of course, I was beyond nervous for that night to come, along with a number of things.
“Go do your work. Avidya and I will be right here until she decides what color scheme she wants,” Julia said, waving her hand in a shooing motion towards the man.
I couldn’t help but let out a giggle at his fake pout and displeased look he shot her way. I liked seeing this side of him, although he hadn’t hidden from me as far as I know. So far, he was sweet and caring, and I could easily find myself falling in love with him.
“Fine,” he sighed out as he stood and folded his laptop closed before placing is against his side. Walking over to me, he then placed a kiss on the top of my head. “I love that color on you, by the way.” The last words were spoken to where I was the only one that could hear them. Although, Julia still smiled while pretending she wasn’t there.
I couldn’t help but blush once more while looking down at the floor and the scattered wedding planning stuff.
“He really does care for you,” Julia mused once Zachariah was out of earshot. “I’ve never seen him care for someone so much.”
I could only shrug, having nothing to say back. I wasn’t used to being cared for, or about.
“He’s also never introduced a girl to me before,” Julia went on.
“I don’t think he had an option when it came to what he plans for me,” I replied.
“What do you mean by that?” she asked, generally wanting to know.
“He saved me when he didn’t have to,” I began, not sure how much she knew of how I came to be here now with Zachariah. “He said he’d marry me to keep me safe.”
“I know you were taken by a few of his men, and that you were given to Zach as a gift. I don’t see why those men thought that my son could be paid off with something like that, but I know he would never accept it. Yes, marrying Zach will keep you safe, but he certainly wouldn’t have offered if he didn’t already have feelings for you.”
“I never saw him before that night,” I mused.
“I bet he knew you before that night,” Julia replied, her voice soft and motherly. “Zach never does anything without thinking it through first.”
“Why me, though?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Why not you?” she countered, giving up the process of looking through the pages of the magazine she was holding. “You are one of a kind, Avidya. Zach would do anything for you, including keeping you safe by any means. There are other options out there to protect you other than marrying him. So, the better question may be why are you agreeing?”
That made me pause. Why did I agree? Was it really for my safety? Surely, I would have been just as safe anywhere else, hidden among people who I didn’t know.
“Think about it,” Julia said, reopening the magazine. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You would have certainly found a way out of this whole thing by now with how many times my son has probably asked you if you really wanted to be here.”
Would Zachariah really let me go if I asked? Without a doubt, he certainly would have.
“Now, how about we go with denim blue and smoky gray? I think both of those colors would stand together well. Plus, the blue would make your eyes pop,” Julie said, holding up a picture of with both colors that had obviously been staged for the magazine.
“Sure,” I answered, finding that I really did like those two colors together. “Just not so much . . .”
“Sparkle?” she laughed, as the picture was bright as the camera flash flashed off crystal around the room. “I agree on that.” She paused, thinking. “Inside or outside ceremony?”
“Outside,” I answered after a moment of thought. It wasn’t too cold out yet, which would make it workable.
“Sounds perfect,” Julia smiled, marking a couple of notes down on a piece of paper that sat on the side table.
Now, I was getting excited about the whole idea. I could see myself walking down the aisle in a long flowing dress as the colorful leaves covered the ground.
“Dress choices shouldn’t be too hard, depending on what your style is,” Julia said. “You can talk it over with Zach. I’m not sure he’d want your mark to be seen or not.”
I had mostly forgotten about the mark as I now glanced down at it. There wasn’t anything I could do about it unless I covered it by long sleeves. But surely if Zachariah didn’t want people to see it, he’d have told me to keep it covered, right? Or did he want everyone to see it to know who I belonged to? He had said he wanted the world to know I was his not all that long ago
“He’ll be good to you, either way,” she mused, seeming content to talk enough for both of us. “I know he’s a bit . . . different for his status, but he has never hurt a woman, nor will he. I try to keep out of his daily doings, but I am his mother, so I know quite a bit.”
“Plus, I married into the family,” she went on with an eye roll. “I grew up knowing what to expect, so Carlos’s and Zack’s habits don’t entirely frighten me. I may not like what they do, but they do keep their business behind closed doors as much as possible.”
“I . . . They don’t frighten me. Zachariah is more than expected already,” I said, fumbling over my words.
She simply smiled as though she understood. Maybe she did as she returned back to more decoration ideas.
“Why do you call him by his name like that?” she asked.
“I just do. He hasn’t told me to call him anything different,” I explained. Well, other than sir, but I didn’t think she needed to know that.
For the next fifteen minutes or so, we both looked through a couple of the wedding books. I had no idea what I wanted as my mind raced with what the possibility of what Zachariah would like. Shouldn’t he be part of all this planning, too?
I marked a few pictures as Julia’s request that appealed to me.
“I’ll make something work,” she stated. I didn’t doubt that, as she seemed like the creative type of person.
Before she left, she made sure to leave a few magazines that contained wedding dress styles and a promise to visit the bridal shop sometime in the coming days. I didn’t want to think of how much that would cost when the time came, knowing that Zachariah would want me to get whatever my heart desired.
~oOo~
Later that day while Zachariah was on the phone about something that seemed to be important, I sat down next to the window in my borrowed bedroom with one of the leather-bound journals. I flipped it over, looking at the back, afraid to open it and find out what it contained.
Did I really want to know? I wanted to know who my real mom was. Would it change how I saw things now? Would her secrets make my life any different than how I was living now? And what about my real father? Did I maybe know him, or of him somehow already?
With a long drawn out sigh, I opened the cover, being careful as though something could jump out and bite me. Laughable, I know. I couldn’t help the fear of what these words would contain.
Reading the first page that started twenty years ago, I found nothing helpful towards who this woman was, let alone to me. The cursive writing was neat and looked as though the writer was in no hurry as she wrote on the once blank pages of the book.
Most of the first book was similar. The woman never said what her name was, where she lived, or anything really personal. The most personal she got was naming a man that she had a crush on – Aaron. No last name. Could it be the same Aaron that was pictured with Lynn and the rest of the nameless people?
She wrote of how this man never seemed to look her way. She wrote her heart and soul out towards the end for the man. She was in love with him and he didn’t even know her name.
On the last page of the book, the lone words on the page towards the middle caught my attention, as most of the journal entries were only dated by the month and year.
I’ll die for him, if it’s the only thing I can do.