Chapter 38
Avidya
By the time we got back to Zachariah’s house, it was starting to get dark. It was nice to be able to be out somewhere with him, learning about who he was as a person. The little sense test wasn’t all that bad. I wasn’t sure what it was meant to prove to me, but I enjoyed just spending time with him all the same. Was it to test to see if I could handle being able to hear and feel things without knowing it going to happen?
I really liked the little playhouse. I could see Zachariah and his brother running around playing cops and robbers when they were little. It was too bad that he didn’t want any children, for whatever reason that may be. I wasn’t brave enough to ask to find out. Maybe after we had married life figured out, then we could figure something out about plans for children.
When we got back home, Zachariah declared that we’d order Chinese in for dinner, which was fine by me. I didn’t feel like cooking, and neither did he.
Thoughts of my mother were far from my mind as we ate dinner, then sat on the couch and watched Arrow. I was a bit lost on the whole show, but I could certainly see the appeal to it.
“Have you thought of what you’d like to do?” Zachariah asked as I laid my head against his shoulder, his arm across my shoulders and holding me to him.
This was one of the best times of the day. I could easily sit here next to him, soaking up his hold on me. Some days I would lay with my head in his lap and he’d play with my hair.
“Not yet,” I answered after a moment. “I haven’t really thought of it at all with everything going on.” Was he hinting that I needed to figure it out?
“I don’t expect to you to do anything,” he was quick to say. “I’m sure you’ll get bored of being here all day on your own. Next month I have to get back into my work routine, you know.”
“I’ll figure out something,” I shrugged in response. “Right now, I just want to stay right here.”
“Well, if you get tired of being home all day without company, let me know. I’m sure between my mother and sister-in-law, one of them will easily come up with excuses to drag you off with them, or to be here often enough,” he replied with a slight laugh.
“I don’t really mind being here on my own,” I stated.
“I know you don’t,” he responded, running a hand down my hair. “And I don’t have to worry about you going out and spending all my money.”
“Uh, no,” I said, shaking my head with a small smile playing across my lips. “I don’t want anything, as you very well know. I’m good with just right where I am.” I knew that there was going to be more changes in my life soon enough. If I could put them off, I’d happily do so in a heartbeat.
For now, I was happy to just ignore the world as much as I possibly could. Nothing but sitting here next to Zachariah was important.
“Which I couldn’t be happier about,” Zachariah said truthfully. “Other women I have dated, and I use that term loosely, was always after my money in the end. You are so different.”
“Growing up that way I did, I learned that money can’t buy happiness, Zachariah,” I stated. I felt him freeze for just a moment before relaxing again as I said his name. It wasn’t often, as I wasn’t entirely sure what to call him. I didn’t feel comfortable calling him by his nickname like everyone else. “I don’t need, nor want, everything money can buy. I just want to be happy having what I do have.”
“Are you happy?” he asked out.
I could feel his eyes on me as I thought about his question. A question that had come up a few times over the past few weeks.
“I think so,” I replied slowly. “I think I’m as happy as I can be, given everything. I’m nervous for what is to come, but who wouldn’t be. I knew without a doubt that I’d marry, I’d have to. With you, I get that choice, which is more than I could ask for.
“I know you’ll treat me better than anyone else that Cody was wanting to give me off to. You want to do the total opposite of all those other men. So, yes, right now I am happy as I can be. And in time, I’ll be happier, I think.”
“You will be,” Zachariah promised. “Safe, and happy.”
I turned my head upward, giving him a small smile. His brown eyes met my own, captivatingly so. They drew me in as I couldn’t let go. I could see that he really wanted me to be happy; wanted me to trust him to do that part in getting me there.
I could see the desire he held for me. The desire that he had yet to act on. He wanted not only my thoughts, my happiness, and body, but my soul too.
With each passing day, each minute we took to learn one another on the level we have so far, I was slowly falling in love with this man. It didn’t matter to me that he worked in the mafia family, one of many that surely took charge of this world we all lived in.
I was begging to care for him, worry about him when he had to go to leave the house. Did he worry about me? I’m assuming so.
“Avidya,” he whispered just before he quickly moved, pressing his lips to mine in a desperate kiss that made my toes cruel.
I instantly met him push for a push as our tongues tangled without thought.
Somehow, one hand went behind my head, supporting me as he leaned me backward. The other hand went around behind my back, keeping me connected to him, but yet laying me down against the seat of the couch.
My hands went to his hair, pulling and pushing him closer to me. I could never, ever get enough of this man. Not now that I knew he was willing to try. Try to bring me into his life in all ways in time.
He moaned deep in his throat as he laid his body over the top of mine, one leg keeping a part of his weight off by lifting himself off a bit with his foot placed on the floor. His weight and the kiss made my heart stutter out in need as he deepened the kiss even further.
“You're mine,” he growled out against my lips.
“Yours,” I agreed. I’d have agreed to nearly anything right then and there to keep him kissing me forever.