CHAPTER NINETEEN
Knight
Mouse, Ky, and I were the only ones left. It was well past midnight and I knew I should try and get some sleep, but I just wasn’t feeling all that tired.
“Weird as fuck, right?” Ky finally said breaking the silence of the room.
We’d had some action movie on but I could tell that we were all half watching it. It seemed that, like me, they were lost in their thoughts.
“What?” Mouse asked turning his attention to Ky.
“The Tara thing,” he said as a confused expression crossed his face like he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with that.
“Yeah, man,” Mouse blew out a harsh breath and scratched his head.
To say that it was an uncomfortable conversation would have been a bit of an understatement.
When Tara showed up, sporting her new hair color, it wasn’t lost on me how the whole room halted in a shocked silence. Truth be told, I had no idea what to think, let alone say about it.
And it wasn’t just the hair, there was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It didn’t slip by me that Tara had been wearing more makeup than when I’d first met her. Or that her clothes seemed to get a little more fitting.
Looking back, I remembered Tara seemed a bit shy and timid the first few times I’d been around her. I was sure my first impression probably had her a bit standoffish but I could see beyond that. From what Gwen had told me, Tara was a bit shy when she first introduced herself to Gwen.
But then again, it didn’t surprise me that Tara seemed to be coming out of her shell. Gwen had this way of rubbing off on people in the best way possible. I also could see where Gwen was giving her a little nudge in the confidence direction. So who could have said that it wasn’t Gwen’s doing behind this whole makeover thing? But then again, she did seemed taken off guard like the rest of us. Or so I thought. Hell, for all I knew, Gwen was just stunned at how good she thought it looked or some shit.
I didn’t want to think about it too much. I had this weird feeling that if I did, my head would make up all kinds of crazy things just because I had this deep urge to protect Gwen with everything that I had in me. If I looked too closely, I might start making up insane scenarios and I knew that wouldn’t do any good. It would only lead me to doing my best to put a wedge between those two and I had a feeling if I tried to do that I’d end up putting the wedge between Gwen and myself instead.
“Eh, who knows,” I said, trying to brush off the subject. “Maybe she’s just trying to find herself. Girls do that shit all the time, change their hair and whatnot.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Mouse said but didn’t sound convinced that it was simply just that.
“But blonde? I mean she looks just like—”
“Drop it,” I said cutting Ky off. I wasn’t trying to be a dick but the last thing I needed or wanted was for Gwen to overhear and freak out or get pissed. Just because she’d said she was going to bed a while ago didn’t mean that she was actually asleep. “Just, not now.” I softened my tone a bit so he would understand.
With a firm nod, he dropped the pissed off expression on his face and turned back to the TV. The room once again went silent.
A while later, Gwen’s door opened and she dashed through the apartment to the kitchen. All three of our heads whipped around to see what the hell was going on.
She was wearing those damn skimpy clothes she called pajamas and my blood headed a hundred degrees. How the fuck she thought it was alright to walk around in front of them in that shit was beyond me.
I took a deep, calming breath, realizing that it was my alpha male coming out to roar. Though I knew they both were taking in their own eyefuls. Not that I could fucking blame them, but at the same time, I hated the shit out of it. In my mind, that was mine even though I really had no claim on her. I knew if I said anything I would give myself away.
Then it slapped me in the face. What the hell was she doing up and why had she seemed panicked?
With lightning steps, I made my way to the kitchen, glad as fuck that no one followed me. I turned the corner to see a frantic Gwen rummaging through the drawers.
“What’s going on?” I asked and I could feel that something was really off.
“My mom’s necklace.” She didn’t stop rifling through things as she talked and I could hear that her voice was shaky. “I can’t find it.”
“Stop and take a breath,” I commanded as I made my way over to her.
She paused and after blinking her eyes a few times she turned her face to look at me.
Her bottom lip was red and slightly swollen. I knew that she had been chewing on it with worry and panic. It brought me back to when she was little and used to do the same thing at times when she was trying to keep her emotions in check.
Only this time, my thoughts were far from appropriate. Thoughts like, how would those lips look around my dick? And would she bite her lip like that as she came on my tongue? Every single one of them wrong in every fucking way possible. All of them making the blood run straight to my cock.
“When did you last wear it?” I asked trying to get my brain to function. I knew what that necklace meant to her and the one and only thing I needed to be thinking about was helping her find it.
“Um, I don’t remember. Shit. A few weeks ago. And I put it in my jewelry box like I always do when I take it off.”
“You remember putting it in there?” I asked, making sure to capture her eyes.
“Yes,” she said with a slow nod, her eyes locked onto mine.
“Then it has to still be here,” I said in a calm tone. I didn’t bother asking if she had looked there because I knew she had. She more than likely had taken everything out and neatly placed it back into the box. Multiple times. “Deep breath. Okay?”
“Yeah,” she said after a hard exhale. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just…”
“I know.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tightly against my chest.
Fuck it felt so good to have her that close. And even more so when she didn’t tense or pull away from me. Without thinking about what I was doing, I lifted her up and set her down on the counter. I captured her eyes with mine again.
“We will find it,” I did my best to assure her. Her eyes were wet, but I knew she wouldn’t cry.
“Everything is all wrong,” she whispered and if our faces hadn’t been mere inches apart, I don’t think I would have heard her.
“What is—” The word baby almost slipped from my lips but luckily I shut my mouth before it could.
Her stare was looking right through me and I knew she hadn’t caught on to my almost slip up. Thank fuck. She was a million miles away and I wanted to know where that was and what was going on there. I wanted her to talk to me like she used to. And as pathetic as it sounded, I wanted to be the one to comfort her.
“Everything. This. You. Me,” she sputtered out but still wouldn’t meet my eyes. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We weren’t supposed to be like this. I don’t like whatever the hell this weird place that we are in. I actually really hate it.”
Her eyes snapped to mine and I was a goner. Whatever she wanted at that moment I’d give to her as long as it made her happy. I couldn’t bear to see this half broken and lost woman in front of me. I understood how she felt, because I was right there along with her, hating this feeling of being somewhere in between what we should be and what we tried to be.
The seconds ticked on, both of us locked in place. Neither one of us wanted to back down and I knew that for certain by the emotions that swirled in her eyes. She was a hair away from letting go and giving in.
Hell, I was right there too.
Only, I should have been the strong one and taken a step back. I should have focused on how freaked out she looked a minute ago. I should have moved away and put the focus back on finding her mom’s necklace.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Because what was right there, dangling just in front of us, had been a long time coming. And I would have been a fool to walk away right then.
Her lips brushed up against mine and I broke. That was all it took. I knew it all along, yet, there I was, giving in to my biggest weakness.
Her breath fanned across my lips and I stood as still as a statue. I was afraid that if I moved—or even blinked—then this moment would disappear. Her tongue darted out to lick her parted lips. And since we were so close, the tip of her velvety tongue lightly brushed over my bottom lip.
“Knight,” she whispered as her eyes fell shut and she closed the paper thin gap between us.
Our lips met in a soft entanglement. I still hadn’t moved, fear that now I wouldn’t be able to hold myself back. I would have her spread out on the counter and I would be licking—fucking devouring every inch of her. I wanted my cock buried deep inside of her while I had the taste of her on my tongue. I couldn’t think of anything else at that moment.
But then she pressed into me harder and I was lost in the only kiss I had ever wanted. This was nothing like when we were kids. This was more. So much more. This is what that kiss so long ago had promised, though I didn’t know it at the time. This was us. The truth that we were meant to be together, that we fit together so perfectly. It could no longer be denied.
My hands moved to frame her face as I pulled her closer. I was in it now, unable to hold back. Her mouth parted with a low whimper and I didn’t hesitate to take over. I nibbled on her bottom lip as her hands gripped my waist. I could feel the bite of her nails on my skin through my t-shirt. As our tongues tangled all the air seemed to vanish out of the room. All the background chatter faded away. It was just her and I alone in the universe and I never wanted to return to earth.
“Shit! Sorry.” Mouse’s voice broke through the moment making reality crash back down on me with the force of a thousand pound sledgehammer. We both tore away from one another. “I’m gonna go…yep. Saw nothing.”
I took a step back but my eyes didn’t leave Gwen’s as I heard Mouse’s retreating steps. My heart felt like it was beating out of control and my chest heaved with every breath I took. Hers was no better, and all I could think was that at least I wasn’t alone in this feeling. That should have been something.
However, that second was when reality slapped me in the face.
“No, I know. Doesn’t change anything. I got it,” she said in a curt tone. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she slid off the counter.
Once her feet were firmly planted on the ground, she gave me one last look and I could see every ounce of hurt written clear as day on her face. Without another word, she straightened her spine and walked with a hurried pace out of the kitchen.
That was the thing, it did mean something.
And it fucking changed everything.